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currently running the Sweetie Pie Challenge where i dont hit anyone with a tire iron as hard as i can for seven days

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"What are you going to do?"

"Panic at any moment."

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together they form one (1) brain cell

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Whoever said frogs say "Ribbit" was being incredibly reductive some of these guys do say "Ribbit" but a lot of them be saying "ᴮᵉᵉᵖ" some of them be saying "Waauu" and some of them be saying "Fuck" but I don't know who taught them that one.

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bout to hit my bitch coworker with the 'do you treat everyone like this or only your gay coworkers?' because i know she'll bluescreen about it. and im gonna make sure to do it when no one else is around just like she does to me with her snide bitch-ass comments. i've literally never pulled the gay card before, but i talk about my wife often enough that everyone knows. I've also got a reputation for being very level-headed, straight-forward, and conflict-adverse. No One Will Believe Her.

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i see you reblog stuff from me sometimes WHO ARE YOU!!!!! /lh

Every

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Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.

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Everyone clap for non consensual body modification everybody loves a character whose body has been altered against their will

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completely sober in the club googling WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

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"What radicalized you?"

Nothing.

I've just always held that fascism is bad and that all people deserve basic respect and human rights, along with food, healthcare, housing, and civil liberties.

And somewhere along the line, that became a radical opinion.

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someone in the UK threw eggs at Charles and was arrested and has been banned from openly carrying eggs in public and has since been sent death threats but their statement on the matter was so fucking good

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I think we as a society don't hate ads enough. We can always hate them more you know.

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i am NOT a bite risk. do not listen to them

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NEVER GIVE UP

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mold pisses me off so much

oh you have to eat your produce the moment it leaves the store or the fuckin Hungering Dust will get it. and. poison your food

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broooo did you seriously disturb my eternal rest & bring me back to this mortal coil just because my ancient enemy the eternal night has returned? after i sealed it away and everything? which one of you tampered with my binding runes 🙄