custxrs-blog

[custxrs-blog]

@gxnsandtxlips

"Don't," he said quietly.

He loved Tulip, god, he loved her, but he really needed her to be quiet right now. She didn't understand that she couldn't be her brave self. Bravery would get her killed.

"Don't kill her," he said, feeling like a little kid again. "She hasn't done anything, don't kill her."

Marie didn't seem to listen.

"Is that what he's told you?" laughed Marie.

Tulip looked at him. Her eyes were big, and even though she was talking back, he could see she was scared. Jody was still pointing the gun at her.

"Take him to the coffin," said Marie. "Jody, deal with her."

T.C. grabbed Jesse by his arms and started pulling him to the door, but he fought against it.

"Stop!" he shouted, struggling against T.C. "Don't touch her!"

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@gxnsandtxlips​

They dragged them into the house, which seemed to rise impossibly high above them, and looked like some kind of dark scar against the horizon. Jesse's heart shook in his chest.

It was all coming back to him now. The coffin, the hours upon hours of inky darkness, the beatings, the ache in his back from hunching over his Bible, making his heard hurt as he read the same passage over and over at Marie's insistence. He felt dizzy, the whole world seemed strange and dreamlike.

They took them into the living room and forced them onto their knees. Piss-yellow light streamed in through the dusty windows, and the whole room was thick with dust.

"Marie'll be out in a minute," said Jody, clasping his hands together and standing in front of them.

"She's missed you, lil' Jesse," giggled T.C.

He ran his grimy fingers across Tulip's neck.

"Get your hands off her," Jesse said in a low, dark voice.

He already knew Genesis didn't work on them, but he wasn't going to sit there and let T.C. touch her like that. He had to at least try to protect her. He was already worried about how they'd treat Tulip, and the fact that she was mixed only made it worse. Already, he could hear all the horrible things they'd say about her, the things they'd try to do.

Then he heard it. The whine of that wheelchair.

Jesse straightened up, his whole chest thrashing now.

In she came. She was even uglier than he remembered, her skin folding in on itself, her eyes sunk so deep they were shadowed, her teeth yellow and bitter. She was hunched over in her wheelchair, her claw-like fingers clutching the edges.

"Hello, Jesse," she croaked. "It's been a long time."

He didn't say anything. He couldn't.

"I see you have a little lady friend," she continued. "I must say, I'm disappointed, but not surprised. I should've known you would've fallen for the likes of her."

Jody pulled out his gun and pointed it right at Tulip's head. "I can get rid of her now, if you want, Ma'am."

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"Yeah," he said, his voice low, not even looking at her.

He bit down until the pressure built in his jaw. He was trying to think of a way out. He was trying to think they'd get their way out of this like they had all their other situations. Those had all seemed impossible, and yet they did it then. But this time Jesse had a sinking feeling in his stomach that this would be different.

The truck jerked to a stop.

"Out ya go," said T.C., shoving the door open and letting in the light.

Immediately, Jesse was hit by the humid swamp air, thick with bugs and rot. As they were shoved out, he glanced at Tulip.

Just then, Jody came up behind him and grabbed him. "No trying anything, or your girlfriend dies."

T.C. pulled out a pistol and pressed it to Tulip's head, his other hand on her wrists. "C'mon," he said with a dark, snaggletoothed grin. "Let's not keep Marie waitin'."

custxrs:

Jesse can’t look up. He can’t breathe. The prickly rope digs into his wrists so tight his hands feel swollen. Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse. He shouldn’t have been so arrogant. He should’ve known. Somehow, he’d tricked himself into thinking he could outsmart them. He could dance around them, play with fate, ‘cause he was smarter know, he wasn’t a scared little boy. But now he felt like that little boy again. “I dunno,” he says quietly. “Just… just try to stay quiet for now.” Tulip hates being told to be quiet. But he’s scared she’s going to do something that’ll get her hurt. He’s no idiot. As a child, he’d had to endure all of T.C.’s stories of his sexual exploits. Usually it was just about barn animals, but sometimes he talked about raping girls around the town. Of course, he never called it that. In his stories, the girls always wanted it, always gave him that “look” even after they said no, but Jesse knew. Just the thought of T.C. laying his hands on Tulip made Jesse nauseous. “ See you got yerself a cute little girlfriend, little Jesse,” teased T.C., as if he could read his mind. He blew a yellow-toothed kiss to Tulip, and mercifully, she stayed silent. All they could do was exchange worried glances at each other. It seemed like no time passed at all before they entered the swamp, that godforsaken house growing larger and larger, and Jesse’s stomach sank.

There’s a prick of annoyance as he tells her to stay quiet, but he knows these people better than her, and she’s not about to let her pride run over her sense of survival. For now, she’ll watch, wait for an opening, use it to her advantage to get him and her far from these people and back on the road. It’s rare, but for once, Tulip listens to him. 

When she hears a heavily Louisianan-Texan accent calling out, her eyes dart to the ugliest motherfucker she’s seen yet, her lips curling to bare a disgusted grimace in his direction. The other man was ugly too, but this one’s one of the most inbred sons of bitches she’s ever seen. His kiss provokes a stiffening in her body, as though she’s about to break her bindings and tackle him completely, but she doesn’t say anything, she’s speechless. This whole thing seems like one, big dream, ‘cos it must be fake if it’s left her speechless. 

Tulip doesn’t say much for the rest of the ride, doesn’t know what to say ‘cos Jesse doesn’t seem to be hearing anything she’s saying to begin with. Hoarsely, faintly, as they come closer to a rickety, forbidding house amid the swamp, she asks: “This where you grow up?” falling silent afterwards. 

[custxrs-blog]

<p><small><br>Jesse can't look up. He can't breathe. The prickly rope digs into his wrists so tight his hands feel swollen. Just when he thought things couldn't get worse. He shouldn't have been so arrogant. He should've known. Somehow, he'd tricked himself into thinking he could outsmart them. He could dance around them, play with fate, 'cause he was smarter know, he wasn't a scared little boy. But now he felt like that little boy again.</br> <br>"I dunno," he says quietly. "Just... just try to stay quiet for now."</br> <br>Tulip hates being told to be quiet. But he's scared she's going to do something that'll get her hurt. He's no idiot. As a child, he'd had to endure all of T.C.'s stories of his sexual exploits. Usually it was just about barn animals, but sometimes he talked about raping girls around the town. Of course, he never called it that. In his stories, the girls always wanted it, always gave him that "look" even after they said no, but Jesse knew. Just the thought of T.C. laying his hands on Tulip made Jesse nauseous.</br> <br>" See you got yerself a cute little girlfriend, little Jesse," teased T.C., as if he could read his mind.</br> <br>He blew a yellow-toothed kiss to Tulip, and mercifully, she stayed silent. All they could do was exchange worried glances at each other. It seemed like no time passed at all before they entered the swamp, that godforsaken house growing larger and larger, and Jesse's stomach sank.

@custxrs 

There’s little times anymore that Tulip’s been afraid. After Viktor, after the Saint, she’s surprised herself in the way she’s developed an even firmer resolve. This, however, shatters all of her progress. All Tulip needs to see is the way Jesse’s eyes seem to lose every ounce of light, how his frame tenses in a way that she’s only seen after the nightmares that would leave him hollering, and she knows these are the ones that hurt him so badly. They’re his family, the family he never spoke of, the family that always evoked an immediate dismissiveness from him. 

They’re bound and tossed into the back of the van, donned with a seeming attraction logo of ‘ANGELVILLE’ in broad letters, a sinister old bat painted behind the words. Silence fills the back of that van, Tulip not sure what to say. She doesn’t know if it’ll be okay, doesn’t know jackshit about these people, but she’s gotta try, hasn’t she? That’s partnership, that’s love, backing up someone when you don’t know shit about the future. She pushes herself around to face him, trying her damnedest to keep a neutral expression, free of worriment, “Jesse, these people…they’re your family. I get that now, but…what do they want with you?” 

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Jesse couldn't help himself, he groaned at every noise she made, especially when she uttered that word. Chills ran through his skin as she dug her nails into his scalp. He doubled down and sucked harder, moving his fingers faster, craving the sound, the feel of her coming. He'd gone two years without those beautiful noises.

He could hear it in her voice though, a dark edge, like she was about to cry. And he understood. After this, nothing would be fixed. After this, they'd go back to hating each other, go back to dancing around Carlos and Dallas but never even speaking the one thing that really tore them apart. They would never talk about their child.

He pushed the thought away and kept at it until finally she came. As her ragged breath slowed down, Jesse gently pulled away. He pressed his sweaty forehead to her stomach and kissed it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

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Jesse said nothing, just watched her with dark eyes while he pressed a kiss to her clit. Then he moved lower, pushed his tongue inside of her, and tasted both of them combined. He couldn't help himself, he moved back up and kissed her hard, making sure she tasted herself on his lips.

"I didn't say you wouldn't come," he whispered into her neck. "I just said you'd come when Daddy says you can."

Once again he kneeled. It'd been so long since he'd had her like this, had her at all. He loved going down on her, loved the noises she made and the way she tasted. He knew exactly what she liked, and he'd give it to her.

He ran his tongue along her folds and sucked gently, wanting to tease her first. Then he moved higher, to her clit, but he didn't go at it just yet. Instead he lapped around it, knew that would drive her crazy. He pushed one finger inside her, crooking so he hit that spot, and kept the pressure constant. Finally, he leaned down and sucked at the base of her clit, knowing if he touched her directly, it'd be too sensitive.

"You can only come if you tell me something, Tulip," he grunted before leaning right back down to lick at the swollen bud.

He sucked and lapped, feeling her grow more and more wet. Good. He wanted to drive her crazy, wanted her to remember why she'd called him Daddy in the first place.

"Tell me," he said. "Tell who's the only man who can make you come."

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Jesse groaned the moment she called him by that name, that name that had tumbled out of her mouth so long ago, that name that had at first resulted in a few moments of awkward silence, but then ended up being something that drove him absolutely wild. She sounded so soft and feminine, noises only he had the privilege of hearing. Little whimpers and moans, her voice rising to a girlish pitch. He grit his teeth and moved faster, the sound of their hips slamming together filling the room.

Then she was tugging at his hand, trying to get him to make her come. Instead, he pinned her by her wrists and leaned closer to her.

"No," he growled. "You don't get to come until I say you do."

Pressure built in his groin, heat filling his whole body. He was close now, he could feel it, his balls twitching, his blood roaring. Through the dim haze of sex, he saw there were already marks darkening on her neck.Good, he thought. He wanted everyone to know she was his, wanted Cass, especially. It didn't even occur to him that after this, they could easily return to hating each other. Or rather, it did, but he pushed the thought away.

Suddenly he whimpered and spilled himself inside her, hips still pumping weakly afterwards. He closed his eyes and took a few seconds to catch his breath. His lungs felt like they were on fire, sweat collecting on his skin.

Then he looked right at Tulip, tugged her hips closer to the edge of the table, and kneeled in front of her, gripping her thighs hard enough to bruise.

[custxrs-blog]

A sickly feeling swirled in his stomach. Her words rang truer than he wanted to think on right now. Dallas, Carlos, the baby. They never had dealt with those things. They’d just ignored it, and now here they were.

Despite it all, he groaned when she spread her legs for him, gazing up at him with faux-naivete. She looked so fucking gorgeous, spread out on the table all for him, that hint of a smile on her face, her eyes downcast.

Then she called him that name, the one that drove him crazy, and he couldn’t help leaning forward and kissing her. Really kissing her, savoring every moment of it. It’d been so long. He almost missed it more than sex.

With a whimper, he pulled her close and pushed inside her. Before Carlos, they’d fucked so often. Now, it’d been two whole years since he’d gotten anything at all. He inhaled sharply, reminded of the first time they ever had sex, him a total virgin, her somewhat experienced but still new in her own right.

Slowly, he pushed in and out, wanting to savor it for just a bit. For all he knew, this was the last time he’d ever have her.

“Tell me who’s fucking you,” he leaned in close and growled. “Tell me who has you.”

Then he sped up, desperately needing his release.

[custxrs-blog]

He knew she was doing this on purpose, egging him on. She wanted him angry, wanted him to be rough with her. Still, the image of Cass inside her, rutting against her like some kinda animal, his hands all over her, it made him sick to his stomach.

“That right?” he said in a strained voice, pulling her jeans down and gripping her ass once more.

Exhaling slowly, he then slipped her panties to her knees, and gave her ass a hard smack. The sound, so sharp and sweet, echoed through the kitchen. With a chuckle, he spanked her again, so hard that he left a red mark. Then he did it again and again and again, till he swore she was too sore. He pressed himself up against her, making sure she felt his erection.

“He may have fucked you, but he’s never really had you,” he said with his teeth gritted, undoing his belt and shoving his wranglers to his knees. “Nobody’s had you like I have.”

Groaning, he pulled himself from his briefs and gave himself a few strokes. Then he paused, thinking.

“Tulip,” he said, all the darkness, all of Daddy gone. “You know you can tell me if you wanna stop, right?”

He knew she was probably pissed at him for breaking character, but he couldn’t help it. Even now, even in his daze of jealousy and lust, he had to be careful.

[custxrs-blog]

Jesse grinned against her throat, teeth still pressing against her skin. “Oh, I care,” he said, voice dark. “You think I don’t notice you waltzing around here, in those short shirts, whatever you call ‘em? You’re all I see. I’ve just been tryin’ really hard not to.”

With a hitched laugh, he pushed one finger inside of her and crooked it, hitting that spot he knew would have her whimpering. So she knew, so what? Did she really think he’d just forget about her, about the life they’d shared? It hadn’t been right, he wasn’t saying that, but walking out on her had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. He regretted it then and he regretted it now.

He returned to worrying at that darkening spot on her neck, all while crooking his finger, working her until he knew she could come at any second. Then he pulled her away, turned her around, and pressed until he had her bent over the table.

With a groan, he adjusted himself through his wranglers for some relief. Slowly, he ran a hand from her neck, down her spine, until he slipped it inside her jeans, beneath her lacy panties, and gripped her ass hard.

“You know how much I’d love for him to walk in here right now?” he said, voice low and gruff. “See us like this, see that he can never have you. He really could.”

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He laughed a little, suddenly breathless from arousal. His clothes felt too tight, especially around his groin, and heat danced underneath his skin. He savored the feel of her small, soft hand on his, squeezing.

God, she was so good at this. She could play him so easily. He wanted to hate it, but he couldn't. Because he loved this too, he loved these games they played with each other. Always pushing each other to their breaking points, seeing how far they could go before the other snapped.

Jesse just smiled a little, then leaned down and bit her neck. He sucked at the soft, hot skin, the tangy taste of salt and sweat sharp on his tongue. Teething at her, he pressed his hips against hers, let her feel how hard he was. He wasn't sure how long he did this, worrying at her neck, but he wanted to leave a mark, the kind no amount of concealer could cover (turtlenecks weren't even an option, not in Annville).

A dark chuckle passed his lips, and he reached down with his other hand, slipped it inside her jeans, and found her wet.

He groaned at the feeling of her. "Cass could never get you this wet, could he? No, only Daddy can do that."

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The little gasp she gave sent a sharp shiver down his spine, and he felt blood rushing into his cock. Even though he was trying to remain in control, his stomach fluttered and his hands shook. And she was so pliant in his hands, so willingly letting him manhandle her like this. Because it was exactly what she wanted. Part of him felt ashamed, almost crushed for letting her win like this, but the other part was too hyped up on sex and jealousy and the thought of her tight and hot around him to care.

"You wouldn't dare," he chuckled darkly, but really, the thought had a fire starting up in his chest.

She wouldn't, right? That nickname was theirs and theirs alone, something no one else could ever have.

He felt her rubbing up against him and shuddered a little, the pressure against his aching cock good, but not enough. He needed more. With another chuckle, he moved his hand and gently gripped her neck.

"I think you're lyin' to me," he said, leaning in so close he was almost kissing her.

He backed her up until she hit the edge of the table. "You think Daddy doesn't care? I'll tell you right now, Daddy's angry. And he's very, very jealous."

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His jaw ached, he took quick, shallow breaths that only made him dizzier. The diner. He'd been trying to help her, he'd been trying to show her that there was another way. She didn't have to live like that. She didn't have to be bad just because everyone decided it. It wasn't her fault that everyone in Annville hated her for who she was. And somehow it was because of this that he'd driven her to fuck Cassidy, no, to let him fuck her?

A growl bubbled up in his throat. He shouldn't fall for this, he knew exactly what she was doing. She was goading him into it, trying to make him give in to temptation. And boy, was he tempted. He wanted to lay claim to her again, make sure every man knew she was his, especially Cass.

Two years. Had she really waited two years? Or was she just lying to him, telling him what he wanted? Then again, why would she do that? She was trying to tempt him after all, and doing a damn good job of it.

He stepped closer, grabbed her by her waist and pulled her flush against him, teeth gritted. "Depends," he muttered, using his other hand to grab the back of her head and expose her neck to him. "I know what you're doing, Tulip. You think I'm that gullible?"

[custxrs-blog]

He took a long, slow breath, but all he felt was pressure building inside his chest, clamoring to burst through his ribs. Cass and Tulip. She had to be joking, right? Just trying to get to him, make him wanna take her back. She was even standing so close now, he could feel the dark heat of her body, and he ached to touch her.

"What?" he laughed bitterly. "You spent time with him?"

The image was so ridiculous he wanted to laugh, he did laugh, but really, all he wanted was to take Cassidy and punch him right in the face. Tulip wouldn't fuck Cass. She was too good for him. Besides, she had too much self-respect for that. Didn't she?

It only now truly occurred to him that she probably fucked other guys in the time they were apart. The pressure in his chest reached up into his throat. How many other guys had touched her, felt her up, been inside of her? How many other guys had taken what was his? The thought made his skin crawl.

"You're lying," he gritted his teeth.

He knew, he knew he had no right to be mad. He'd walked out on her. He'd left her. She'd spent the last couple of days trying to get him back, and he'd done nothing but reject her. He'd asked for this.

[custxrs-blog]

Pressure built in his jaw as he grit his teeth. He knew she was right. By storming in there all incensed at the sight of someone else making a move on her, he'd undone all the work he'd done to not give in to temptation, to pretend like she meant nothing to him anymore.

The truth was that of course he wanted her back. How could he not? And not just the sex, though he sure as hell missed that. He missed her teasing, missed her sweet tooth and her love of horror movies, the way she'd run her fingers through his hair. And, of course, he missed being inside of her, missed the noises she made, missed that goddamn nickname that he'd never even considered until it'd accidentally tumbled out of her mouth one sweaty night.

"It doesn't," he said firmly. "I just wanna understand what the hell I just saw. In fact, how do you even know him?"

[custxrs-blog]

Jesse had just been walking back home when he saw something so strange, at first he thought it might be some fever dream induced by Genesis. But it wasn't. It was Cass, backing Tulip up into the wall, his lips curled in a grin as he whispered something to her.

He froze, unsure if he should watch or intervene (not that Tulip couldn't take care of herself, but he'd never liked seeing another man with his girl, even now). Then, just as he expected, she kneed him, and Cassidy skulked away, visibly muttering something under his breath. Tulip disappeared into the kitchen, and Jesse couldn't help but follow her, suddenly full of a dark, familiar rage that only came out some fucker had the gall to move in on his girl.

Yes, they weren't together. He knew that. He was the one who'd ended it (though he really wasn't sure if taking off in the middle of the night and leaving just a letter really counted as ending as much as running away). He'd even rebuffed Tulip's advances, though it'd been hard. That one day when she'd showed up at the Baptism, clad in that white ensemble with her stomach exposed, forcing him to touch the soft, warm skin of her stomach, he damn near broke then and there (the worst was when she cried out "Save me, Father!" reminding him of the games they used to play, those nights where she called him by that nickname he used to love so much).

He came in and found her sitting at the table, looking like she had a lot on her mind.

"The hell was that out there?" he said, not even bothering with a perfunctory hello.

@custxrs

Running into Cassidy outside of the back entrance into the church’s clergy house was the last thing Tulip had needed. She’d been minding her own goddamn business, planning on getting into Jesse’s business when Cassidy swooped in, the lanky motherfucker backing her into the wall beside the door. He leaned in close, despite her uninterested expression. Cassidy whispered his taunting “You know yeh want me, Tulip”’s into her ear and brushed his fingers along her neck and by then, Tulip was irked enough to goddamn knee him. 

The poncho-clad fucker fell over and it was really beautiful, honestly, she thought, as he stormed off uttering a string of smitten curses. He was a goddamn leech. She had let him fuck her, sure, but she was sure he would’ve gotten the same out of fucking a hole in the wall, with how uninterested she’d become during. It’d been a mistake. Tulip watched him disappear around the church’s corner with pursed lips before she was heading into the back, sinking into one of the seats in the church’s kitchen and chewing on her lower lip. 

[custxrs-blog]

He leaned into the kiss like it was his only salvation, unable to suppress his smile at Tulip's advice, which was so typically her. This shouldn't be about him, though. He wasn't the one who'd been tortured, threatened with rape, and completely dehumanized for an entire week. Not that the coffin hadn't been horrible in its own right, but it wasn't the same. Even if Tulip would balk at the idea, she'd been hurt bad, and she needed taking care of.

When she mentioned the baby, that's when he really smiled. The first time Tulip had become pregnant, all he'd thought about was what it'd look like. Probably have his dark hair, but it'd be curly, like Tulip's. Maybe it'd be a little bit lighter than her, but he knew their baby would favor Tulip in looks. Which honestly, he was totally alright with.

He'd never told Tulip this, but he wanted a girl. Not that he'd be disappointed by a boy, but for some reason, he just really wanted a daughter. He wanted to do buy her little cowgirl boots, do her hair (though he knew Tulip would insist on being the one to do her hair, which he understood), stuff like that. Of course, he'd also show her all of John Wayne's greatest films, teach her how to defend herself, same as he would a boy.

Tulip kissed him, and he swore they'd never shared a kiss so soft before. He leaned into it like she was his salvation, and maybe she was. God didn't really seem to do much for him anyway, even now. But Tulip. He'd always have Tulip.

"You want a boy or a girl?" he said suddenly, still pressing his forehead against hers.