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Grief

by Raymond Carver

Woke up early this morning and from my bed looked far across the Strait to see a small boat moving through the choppy water, a single running light on. Remembered my friend who used to shout his dead wife’s name from the hilltops around Perugia. Who set a plate for her at his simple table long after she was gone. And opened the windows so she could have fresh air. Such display I found embarrassing. So did his other friends. I couldn’t see it. Not until this morning.

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Quick question regarding the October meeting: Would it be possible to hold it at some point between the 4th and the 19th? It's the only time frame in which I could attend (though obviously if it wouldn't work for the majority I would not demand to adhere to my schedual) (perhaps you could run a vote on it or something?)

oh yeah i need to get on scheduling that 😂 i wasn't sure if people wanted me to arrange it but i am happy to do so

btw if people are coming from other countries we are going to do more than just getting drinks at the New Inn. we are going on some kind of adventure. I don't know what yet though 🤔

do you guys want to do another Sandman meeting? what weekend?

I am basically doing fuck all so... whenever you want 😌 It was super fun last time!

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The Zillow listing is somewhere Dream would live while romanticizing his solitude until Hob crashes into his life.

It absolutely is, he would be wandering the woods and ruins like woe is me... nobody loves me... tis only I against the world... until Hob just falls through a hole in his ceiling (he really meant to get that fixed but the rain coming in onto the floor was kind of atmospheric) like "moping around depressed all by yourself, handsome?"

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the hilarious thing is that posting this here got the house seen by 15 thousand people and counting but that will not help sell the house because no one on tumblr is buying a $7.5 million mansion in Connecticut

my friend and i have been losing our goddamn minds over the photography in this zillow listing and i feel the need to share it with you all too

the lighting??? the fog?? the atmosphere???

this shit is like high art and it's a ZILLOW LISTING . and that's not even all the photos!!! what the fuck!!!

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In case you didn't know, the US department of labor is out here on Facebook inventing a heretofore unknown genre of content called "AI generated revisionist 1950s americana style racially diverse Soviet propaganda"

workers of the world unite to make america great again!

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Congrats on 1k followers!! I love all your stormlight art (especially modern au Adolin and Maya) ❤️

You have no idea how happy it made me that you suggested my modern Maya and Adolin

Thank you xx

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Poorly edited for your enjoyment

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Cryptics watching Shallan sketch

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I mean this post is basically a joke but, to treat it seriously—

The more I think about them the more I feel Lirin is primarily operating from a place of fear in regards to Kaladin, not a place of principle, though he is also a person with strong anti-war principles. And maybe he tells himself that’s what it is with Kaladin but I think it’s actually primarily fear. He doesn’t want his son to get killed going to war, especially a pointless war of mere conquest like the ones Lirin experienced growing up (and still sees from afar) (in comparison to the war of reckoning which at least has a goal of protecting Roshar from Odium, not just bloodshed for its own sake). Lirin knows the way Alethi culture venerates violence, aggression, and conquest, the way it preys on young boys’ desire to do something great and noble—Alethi culture places war as its highest virtue and calling but Lirin knows that it’s really nothing but carnage. While he has principles around the matter, more than anything he wants to prevent his gentle, empathetic child(ren) (but mostly Kaladin who’s more assertive and combative than Tien and more likely to get mentally and emotionally pulled into Alethkar’s glorification of war from a position of wanting to do good) from being eaten up by the Alethi war machine.

And when he reunites with Kaladin in Hearthstone and then especially in Urithiru, that’s exactly what he thinks has happened. That Kaladin’s empathy and desire to care for others have been crushed by his time in the army, that his kind and gentle son has become a tool of Alethkar’s violent oppressive systems (and a victim of them, all at once).

But I don’t think he gets any of this across to Kaladin. All Kaladin hears from him is that even though he has always tried his best to do good in any situation he found himself in, it was never and is never going to be enough (a very ill-timed message considering Kaladin was already suicidal over feeling that exact way about himself). But what Lirin ultimately has to, and does come to realize is that yeah despite their best efforts they did not in any way, shape, or form manage to escape the vicious mechanisms of their society, but despite all the violence Kaladin has experienced and been part of, those good qualities in him weren’t destroyed like Lirin feared, if anything Kaladin’s empathy and kindness are actually stronger as a result of all he’s experienced, even if he’s also hurting literally all the time because of it. And the best thing Lirin can do for him as a father is help pull him forward, not keep trying to pull him back and protect him from something that has already happened and cannot be undone.

Their messages are just going right past each other and they keep arguing about theory and principles when I think what Kaladin’s really saying in RoW is “I really need your support right now” and what Lirin’s saying is “I really need you to be safe”—not just physically but mentally and emotionally safe from the psychological destruction that is the glorification of war—and “I need you to have been safe, please don’t let it be too late, please don't have turned into someone I can’t recognize.”

And the thing is that war did kind of destroy Kaladin just like Lirin feared but not by turning him into a mindless killing machine, but by turning him into a very very traumatized young man who is struggling so hard to hold onto what he believes is right and is eating himself alive in the process. He is hurting so much and he needs desperately to believe that that was actually worth something, that it achieved something good. He desperately needs someone to recognize the good in him, to recognize him, but Lirin can’t, at first, see past his fear to understand that so much of the son he feared would die, feared had died, is, actually, still right in front of him, just changed in shape.

But yeah I could see Kaladin assuming that his other, unrelated decisions would also disappoint Lirin because he did not receive the message that Lirin was actually terrified for him.

lirin is so disapproving of kaladin joining (& staying in) the army that I think it would be funny if kaladin internalized this "I'm a disappointment to my father :(" mindset and starts assuming all of his choices will make lirin upset but actually that's not true it's just the military specifically that lirin has an issue with

kaladin goes to lirin like "dad... i'm trans 😔" and lirin's just like awesome we need more surgeons who are allowed to read

and kaladin's just like

what

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ALTERNATIVELY

lirin is so disapproving of kaladin joining (& staying in) the army that I think it would be funny if kaladin internalized this "I'm a disappointment to my father :(" mindset and starts assuming all of his choices will make lirin upset but actually that's not true it's just the military specifically that lirin has an issue with

kaladin goes to lirin like "dad... i'm trans 😔" and lirin's just like awesome we need more surgeons who are allowed to read

and kaladin's just like

what

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lirin is so disapproving of kaladin joining (& staying in) the army that I think it would be funny if kaladin internalized this "I'm a disappointment to my father :(" mindset and starts assuming all of his choices will make lirin upset but actually that's not true it's just the military specifically that lirin has an issue with

kaladin goes to lirin like "dad... i'm trans 😔" and lirin's just like awesome we need more surgeons who are allowed to read

and kaladin's just like

what

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Here we go with Leswhi!

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OP: These are notes with a strong sense of being "lively and real" that Chinese netizens can come across everywhere.