cvoltz5

[cvoltz5]

Apparently they also eat things that some of them can't eat... Like gluten or lactose...

Oh and of course... Some of them just have self preservation reactions to some food the great majority of them have no problem whatsoever...

The worse part ? SOME OF THOSE PSYCHOSES STILL DECIDE TO EAT WHAT THEY CANT DIGEST !

Wanna know why ? BECAUSE IT TASTE TOO GOOD TO PASS ON !

They aren't monsters their just toddler in a war machine ! Somehow it makes them both more threatening and less threatening...

Humans eat sodium chloride...

[cvoltz5]

Of course I got curious and asked why they don't just extract poison for one specie...

They don't because it would ask them to do unethical experimentation to know what is poisonous and what isn't for every species and on the other hand they don't want to have to through the extent of restraining the potential buyers of their excess food with no economic benefits.

Humans eat sodium chloride...

[cvoltz5]

It got worse...

Apparently most of what they eat is poisonous for other species on their planet. Like they eat sweets name "chocolate" that their pets can not eat !

They literally process all of the food they send us to extract potentials poisons for us...

So... don't accept unprocessed food from a human, I guess.

Humans eat sodium chloride...

[cvoltz5]

OH SWEET STARS ! THEY EAT IT BECAUSE THEY THINK IT MAKES THEIR MEALS MORE TASTY !

THEY EAT POISON BECAUSE THE FEEL LIKE IT MAKES THEIR MEALS MORE TASTY !

Humans eat sodium chloride...

[cvoltz5]

It's not like I did not know they were built different ! I know they breed plants to produce more pain chemical because it tastes funny !

But we're talking about eating lethal products here not just pain chemicals !

Humans eat sodium chloride...

[cvoltz5]

Humans eat sodium chloride...

[cvoltz5]

Humans are great a war and it's not a surprise.

If you're even remotely interested in humans you have hear countless stories about how how they are the most militarily powerful race with quite a few speculative stories about their super-weapon and most of it is bullshit.

Yes humans are among the worst enemies to have and their history shows them able to conduct horrendous deeds but they aren't "living for war" or "creating weapons capable to destroy the universe if used wrongly" They are kind of isolationist mostly because of their production methods and their strong bond.

But I still can't understand why so many people are surprise by the humans fighting ability and war potential.

I mean they are predators coming from a class 5 deathworld, they have a natural instinct to use sharp or heavy object to fight because they had to protect themselves from stronger predators and they had to hunt preys to eat.

Their planet had seasons meaning they had to learn how to manage resources during unproductive seasons, making their pack mentality even more important allowing it to develop an create hierarchy for them to follow.

Inequalities liked with greed made fights more abundant both on personal scale and on pack scale so knowing how to fight each other was important for their survival and military technologies were developed for the same reason.

Their brain makes them able to comprehend philosophical questions and made them able to care for those enough to have ideological wars so even if it is not worth it to fight if they feel like their ideologies are threatened they can still fight.

They are persistent predators meaning that they are not prompt to surrender, they can carry on and keep the fight going even they have lost half of their army.

Humans are more or less naturally built for war. Seeing them deploy troops on their borders or on federal grounds and seeing them win should not be surprising.

Still I need to clarify, they don't need to fight and they don't like to fight at least the large majority of them don't and to get a group of humans angry enough to have them wage a war on you is very unlikely and they will probably try to find a non fighting way to resolve the conflict. Even if they depict themselves as irrational they are doing that to get a laugh , they are rational and aren't willing to go to death for no reason.

They're cool and yes they are willing to make themselves look monstrous because that is a way to brag for some of them, most of them really understand that it is threatening to us and are very sad of the rhetoric saying they are blood-lusting monsters.

[cvoltz5]

On the creation of the "Milky Way Federation" and the role of the Humans

It is a little known fact that, prior from the Human ascension as a type 2.3 civilization, none of the existing species entered in contact with each other.

Weirder than that is the fact that all of the existing species were born closer to each other than the Humans were to their closest relative, being from the outskirts of the Milky Way.

It has been speculated that the “Fermi Paradox” is the reason why most civilization kept to themselves rather than trying to meet other civilizations.

The records from most civilizations shows more or less the same succession of events, firstly the discovery of radio transmission technologies followed with a few decades or centuries of broadcast until the unilateral decision to stop broadcasting in order not to attract what was expected to be the “great filter” on their planetary systems.

The interesting thing is that every species were able to detect broadcast of other species after having decided to cut theirs and with that, they heard those other species cut their broadcast more or less abruptly which was interpreted as the new specie being destroyed by the “great filter” and reinforced the ban on all broadcasts.

This mentality went so far as to create the concept of “bait calls” meaning a forged broadcast from a forged civilization supposed to call the others to start good relationships only to attract responses and send the “great filter” their way.

It is expected that the Humans had better starting conditions in order to seek other species in their galaxy for two reasons, the first one is the fact that they appeared in the fringes of the Milky Way meaning that other planetary systems were further away and that broadcast from the inner belt civilizations were not strong enough to be picked up. The second reason is coming from their weird type of pack bonding, they have a very strong ability to pack bond with more or less anything but they are also fairly competitive as in they will compete as a multitudes of packs and they never got to all get in an agreement to call out every broadcast meaning they all kept broadcasting because it gave them a strategical advantage over each other.

Their multitude of packs got to the stars and kept transmitting to one another about well anything. When they reached the inner core and kept babbling over and over with no restrictions whatsoever every species thought that they would be destroyed soon enough, then they set up outpost in inner core planetary systems and their were considered as a “bait call” then they eared a broadcast from the “Big Tentacly Parrots” and they helped this new specie rise to a type 2 civilization. After a full millennia of broadcast in the inner core multiple civilizations came out of the shadows to the surprise of well everyone.

We will not say that without the Humans the “Milky Way Federation” wouldn’t exist, they actually were skeptic of this organization because at that point they were the most advanced civilization and had already a lot of internal conflicts with their own federation, and it is widely known fact that they still have them and that most species loves to ear about those for entertainment.

[cvoltz5]

Human : pulling out a picture of them and their sibling playing in snow

Alien : I-I know you humans are crazy… but why would your parents not stop you from getting out during a nuclear winter ?

Human : Nuclear winter ? Nah that was a regular winter !

Alien : What do you mean regular period of cold ?

Human : Don’t you have winters ?

Alien : No we don’t have natural period of cold !

Human : Well… we do ?!

Alien : Is it because of the tectonic activity of your planet ?

Human : Huh ?

Alien : Sorry that was stupid, it would mean that difference in temperature occurs in a thousands of year timescale.

Human : Oh ! You mean ice ages !

Alien : Ice ages ?

Human : Yeah we have those, but winter is a yearly phenomenon.

Alien : T-that makes more sense… wait no it doesn’t ! Why would you have a period of cold on a yearly basis ?

Human : Because our planet has some axial tilt. And we also have period of heat that we name summer.

Alien : What ? Why ? No… How did your planet get some axial tilt ?

Human : Another planet crashed on Earth.

Alien : AND IT DID NOT WIPE ALL LIFE ON YOUR PLANET ?

Human : N-no… There wasn’t any life on earth at this stage.

Alien : That’s… good… I though that your planet’s life had survived a mass extinction for a moment…

Human : …

Alien : …

Human : …

Alien : It didn’t !

Human : It did…

Alien : WHA-

Human : Five of them.

[cvoltz5]

[Humans Are Space Orcs] - An essay about Humans’ culture and art.

I’m not used to write in non-academic documents but I’ll try to be less “strict”.

First I’m an historian, officially meaning that I read archives and logs to have a better understanding about the story of sentient species, in reality we read log of abandoned or destroyed ships in order to discover what happened to them.

A few month ago, we received some brand new declassified articles from the Xartral foreign department, perfect to do what we are officially meant to. Most of the documents were basic issues for a foreign department, but there were a few of document about the first contact with the Humans.

As everybody, I thought that humans were a warlike, barbaric specie, the basic stuff with this A-1 predator. I read the first report of the Xartral first contact team sent to the council expecting something quite harsh and hostile… Well… The description was very professional but nowhere was  “warlike” or even “dangerous” in it. The closest we got is the adjective “battle-ready”. There was also the adjective “diplomatic”.

Obviously, I started to doubt about the authenticity of this document… But after several checks in the metadata and some calls to the Xartral foreign department this document was proven genuine.

I was so surprised about this that I started to research what happened during the Human first contact… And I found a lot of things…

Basically you should know that first contacts are usually quite difficult… The newly known race is either surprised or stressed about it… Well… The first Human contact is considered to be the second best first contact the federation had after the Frihylken’s… So they had the best first contact after the one made with Frihylken, which were followed since they were primal.

Let’s get that strait, the human were directly trying to communicate, they used a lot of protocols trying to make us understand… and trying to understand us… The records say that after a few week, a few dozen ships were at the meting point with a quarter of them being human ones. Less than three month after the first contact the first real bit of conversation started. The humans said literally in the federal language those words “We. No. Want. Fight. But. We. Ready. Understood ?”. It would have been scary, but the most important part was that they did not come for war. Oh and to compare it with other first contacts, the federation is way more likely to try the communication device and have the first conversation. The average time before the first conversation is usually nine months. The humans even sent some of them in a smaller vessel without any weapons to let the federation study their physiology and understand that they were friendly, that’s how good of a first contact it was !

I though that was crazy all the effort made by the humans to communicate as quickly as possible so I continued to dig for information. I found out that humans were in fact prepared for this event !

Okay, at this point you can think humans are a very anticipating species, and that’s just a new trait to add to the long list of weirdness the humans have. But no, humans are not that thoughtful. I need you to stick with me… They had a lot of fiction where first contacts went bad and they were obliterated in a full scale war or with a hidden invasion. In fact they are way more, WAY MORE prone to create fiction or art than any other species !

I know that’s strange to say that one of the hardest, most complex and most cultural thing to do for any of our races is that easy for them… But, creating a false story without any set-up is a childish activity for them… They even see stories in simple geometrical animations… But on it’s own it’s not that weird… Art ! Their children know how to make art ! Not the greatest in the world, but they create art !

In fact they create so many stories and so many art pieces that they have created some classification for art and for stories. They create so many masterpieces that some humans even say that some of their artistic works is not art ! You can look at a lot of their artwork for free on the universal comlink !  I’ve dive too deep into this, but I still finding amazing stories created by some unknown human and they keep piling on !

Humans are the most cultural species ever ! Bus because of all their other weird physical attributes they are considered barbaric. What a shame…