cwkrp

[cwkrp]

hello! i was just curious, is the application format staying the same, or is that being changed at all as well?

The format will be staying the same. If anything changes, it’ll be the addition of simple questions, nothing to do with the prose sections of the app. But, if that is the case, we’ll be making it a task for all the current members, so either way, there are no setbacks for working on an app in the current format!

[cwkrp]

RESERVED: until july 10th, 23:59 gmt

ahn heeyeon, exid   //   undecided   //   1202 ji sumin, sonamoo   //   undecided   //   0506  

RESERVED: until july 13th, 23:59 gmt

jung soojung, f(x)   //   undecided   //   3366  

EXPIRED

park jimin, bts

PENDING: tba

n/a

RATIO:  lyra 3/6    crux 4/6    ursa 0/6    apus 3/6    vela 2/6

[cwkrp]

Hello again, loves 💕 First of all, thank you so much for voting, it’s a huge help and makes the decision making so much easier! We received 11 votes out of the 12 accounts active in the roleplay, so we could reach a definitive majority of the members’ feedback.

On the original post, I stated that we’d require at least the majority of the roleplay's votes for each alternative to be implemented, which would mean they’d each need at least 6 votes. All of the proposed changes surpassed that mark, which means all changes will be incorporated into the roleplay.��As seen here, the results are as follows:

11/12: plot tweak

8/12: point system

10/12: sns integration

9/12: confessions blog

0/12: no changes

* The last vote was blank, but I’m guessing that was a mistake, since there was an option for no changes on the poll that never got any votes.

With this, we’ll now be working on updating our pages and hopefully giving the roleplay a new look. While we’ll remain open during the revamp, we’ll be interrupting our regular programming and pause the ongoing event while we revise everything and refresh the main. During this period, we’ll also not be accepting any new reservations (apologies!), though the ones already made are still valid and can be extended, if needed.

Incidentally, this is the reason why we haven’t had ads for the roleplay up for the last few days -- since we’re in this process of switching things up, we have decided to only advertise once our revamp is finished and we have a final product available. 

Our optimistic estimated return day is July 13th, though I’ll go ahead right now and just state it can be delayed until July 15th if things don’t go our way.

Lastly, thank you so much for your patience and support!! This could have been such a messy change but you guys really came through with leveled responses and overall unbearable cuteness, you have no idea how much of a relief that was. All the concerns are being taken into consideration as we work on the revamp, and if you have more suggestions feel free to shoot them on the gc!

💞💘💝💕💌💗💓💖💟

[cwkrp]

Hello, loves! I have informally discussed this in the group chat but, since not all people necessarily are always checking in on that, and some choose not to follow the ooc blog, I decided to make this post here, because this is an important issue that concerns every member.

For a while now I have wanted to do a small revamp for the roleplay, merely because a few of the aspects originally planned for it didn’t work as well as I imagined, and I’ve been wondering if introducing different features would make this a more engaging experience for the members.

And so, however slight the changes I’m proposing here might be in the grand scheme of things, they still might affect your muses and your plans for them, so, of course, I’m running a poll to gauge your opinions, and will only proceed with the majority vote for each item.

1. First general mechanics tweak

The most essential modification I have my eyes on would be in regards to the dynamics of the roleplay. Instead of being thinly linked to the plot by being registered to the Cry Wolf forum, muses would be compulsorily active, public players in the Cry Wolf game, following the already established forum playing device. The game would consist of a contest among willing participants. Players would be assigned tasks to complete within a set deadline (both in character and out of character), not unlike the possibilities the Wolf currently works with. However, instead of playing just against the Wolf, the players would also be competing against one another. Each successfully completed dare would give them a number of points on the competition. Each dare rejected would subtract a number of points from their score, though failures would have no effect. The scoreboard would be updated every sunday.

If you notice this is very familiar to the 2016 film Nerve, that's because it's exactly what we're going for.

2. Second general mechanics tweak

In addition to the Nerve-like scenario, I also want to maintain the classic lying game aspect of the roleplay. For that, in addition to the open dares, we'd also have a shadow dare being delivered to only one muse, sorted at random. The shadow dare receiver would have to complete a mission in complete secret. The mun would be instructed to work the mission into a thread, either pre-existing or new, being granted 2 weeks to complete this challenge. At the end of the round, there would be a poll for muns to vote for who they believe the round's saboteur to be. The saboteur loses if they have the most votes, and wins if not. Every person who correctly guesses the saboteur would be granted a small about of points.

Rejecting the shadow dare would retract a big sum of points. Winning the shadow dare would earn the player that same amount. Failing it would have the character have their damage exposed by the Wolf, in regular exposé fashion.

3. Addition of a point system

These changes would be much more easily enforced if this group were to rely on a point sytem. Muses would be warranted Gameplay Points (GP) for their performance in the Cry Wolf game. In case another item of the poll gets enough votes, they would also be given Social Points (SP), which would be counted by their social media presence. SPs would be a lesser score system, but, at the end of each 2 week round, they could be converted into other advantages in the game.

Points would be counted both individually and per house, with every resident's points amounting to their house's total.

4. IC social media integration

Every muse would be actively engaged on social media accounts, where they could have their reputations impacted, and they would have a space in which they would be pressured to answer to the Wolf. We'd be specifically requiring Twitter and Instagram, in particular.

I want to be clear that, by this, I don’t mean you’d have to set up different social media accounts to roleplay there on top of tumblr, but simply have in-character posts in the format of tweets or instagram posts, given they would be canonically linked to their Cry Wolf profiles.

If points are accounted, every social media post would count towards the player's SP score, with a weekly cap (e.g, you'd be rewarded points for up to 3 posts a week, and anything exceeding that wouldn't earn you any points), to avoid encouraging unnecessary spamming.

5. Confessions blog

Though there was hesitation initially in having a confessions blog, I've decided it wouldn't hurt to have one. For that to work, these confessions would be submitted to the wolf sideblod, and they would be posted only one day of the week (likely sunday). They would be canonically interpreted as anonymous users on the Cry Wolf discussion subforums. They would moderated, so offensive or exceedinly inflamatory asks, as well as ooc ones, wouldn't ever see the light of the day.

With the acceptance of the point system, being mentioned in any confessions would warrant players SPs, and, since they would only be posted once a week, there would be no call for caps.

And these are all the ideas I've come up with so far. Of course, this is only a draft I'm sharing so you guys can decide whether you want them to be incorporated into the roleplay or not. I'd be detailing them further for clarity in case they are voted in, but feel free to send in asks or DMs in case you have questions and concerns.

So please vote on the poll below (it's only viewable on the pc permalink page, as far as I'm aware) and let me know how you feel about these. You can tick more than one box, so please mark down everything you want to see in Cry Wolf. If you want things to remain unchanged, please still send in a vote checking the last option. I’ll be accepting votes until July 9th, 23:59PM GMT. The changes will only be implemented in case over 50% of the roleplay votes for them -- if none are voted in, we’ll keep everything as is. In case only a few of them make it, I’ll be sure to make the necessary adaptations to plans and inform you how that will go.

Also, don’t worry -- this “revamp” would take place with the roleplay still running. So potential applicants and members alike can carry on as usual, no one’s place is at harm.

Thank you in advance for your patience and help!

[powr-poll id=a9682020_1530855697]

[cwkrp]

RESERVED: until july 9th, 23:59 gmt

park jimin, bts   //   undecided   //   0629

RESERVED: until july 10h, 23:59 gmt

ahn heeyeon, exid   //   undecided   //   1202 ji sumin, sonamoo   //   undecided   //   0506   jung soojung, f(x)   //   undecided   //   3366    

PENDING: until july 8th

n/a

RATIO:  lyra 3/6    crux 4/6    ursa 0/6    apus 3/6    vela 2/6

[cwkrp]

RESERVED: until july 5th, 23:59 gmt

park jimin, bts   //   undecided   //   0629

PENDING: until july 8th

n/a

RATIO:  lyra 3/6    crux 4/6    ursa 0/6    apus 3/6    vela 2/6

[cwkrp]

can i reserve fc park jimin bts with password starboy ? thank you!

We require a pin code for our reservations, anon. Please pick a new password and a 4 digit code so we can register your request.

[cwkrp]

The following faceclaims are free to be roleplayed. In case you’d like to return, simply message the main blog -- as long as your faceclaim choice is available, your application will still be valid. As for now, please unfollow the linked accounts below.

bae joohyun, red velvet   //   @cwaejeong

bae suji, soloist   //   @cwjinri

chittaphon leechaiyapornkul, nct       //   @kancw

jung jaewon, soloist   //   @cwhyunseok

jung jinsoul, loona   //   @cwdeokhee

kim jongin, exo   //   @cwadrian

kwon soonyoung, seventeen   //   @siwancw

lee jihoon, seventeen   //   @sebincw

lee taeyong, nct   //   @cwnoeul

minatozaki sana, twice   //  @cwmargot

park jimin, bts   //  @cwhaejin

yoo shia, oh my girl   //  @cwsujin

[cwkrp]

have a little imagination, will you?

INTRODUCING   han byul, she/her, 12/01/97 COURSING   ba in advertising, second year AFFILIATION   lyra ANNOTATIONS   n/a

a note from the past.

TOKEN.

there comes a point in every child’s life whenever they must throw away childlike things; in byul’s case, it came rather abruptly, no longer a choice.

“i’m sorry children, but your father has left us. i didn’t know how to tell you.”

then again, mother was never really good with telling them anything. or dealing with emotions. so there isn’t much of an explanation to all of their questions ( how? why? where? ) instead it all comes and goes, each of them mourn in their own ways – the youngest cries, her mother takes a tendency to drinking, and byul decides to bear more responsibility for her family. she’s so young, fifteen, at an age where her highest priority should be grades and what the cute boy in class thinks about her; instead she’s found two jobs in order to help mother with the bills, raven tresses are found buried in books during breaks when she should be eating – as the oldest, she needs to be some kind of positive role model, the one their father didn’t get to be.

two years later, she discovers the truth. it’s no revelation, no hidden message locked away within memories – no, it seeps from the crimson lips of his new wife.

her father’s new wife. that just so happened to stumble into her workplace. byul has always looked just like him – which was what caught the woman’s attention. eventually, she spills the truth – how it was her mother that cheated on him whenever they were together, that her infidelity was the one that drove him away. byul isn’t sure whether to believe this woman - she could be lying straight out of her ass. then again, when she sees how her husband – byul’s father – picks up the woman with such a smile one his face, one she hadn’t recognized from her childhood days, she’s suddenly inclined to believe the woman.

the guilt that she had before, as if she was the one who drove her father away – the contempt she had for him, as if he were some floozy who coudln’t keep it in his pants. anger, frustration, sadness, shock, betrayal all come at the forefront, and byul isn’t even sure how to handle them.

STEREOTYPE.

STEPFORD SMILER  |  mother had always been a rather self-conscious woman – of herself, her family, but most importantly was her image. how you portray yourself to the world was of the most absolute importance, because other’s perception of you can take you to places farther than you will even realize; or so she used to say.

the images that stick out to her when analyzing her childhood are the things not to do – do not cry in public, do not shake in fear, do not be too excitable, do not throw things in anger, do not do not do not. it was unladylike and uncouth to show such emotion so openly – it’s not what people like. it’s not what men like. ( according to mother )

the emotions don’t flee, no, they still rush through her like a river – but the dam never breaks. smiles light up her face, but they aren’t too bright. frowns never make home on her expression for more than five seconds at the most. rather than becoming someone of her own kind, brought about by emotions, she is a shell – beautiful on the outside; someone who looks soft, sweet, caring with everything she does. but on the inside, she’s not really sure if there’s really anything worth value within.

though since the meeting with her father’s wife, she finds herself becoming more increasingly bitter. of both of her parents, of people, of life. it’s hard to find trust within your peers whenever those that brought you into this world break it within seconds. the conversations people have with her tend to be so vapid it drives her insane – and the emotions that come along with it only fuels her disdain of the human race. a friend is lied to by her boyfriend and despite the advice given, she falls right back into his arms. guy sells drugs out in the open where it’s a given that an authority figure will catch him. it’s absolutely idiotic, and annoys her to no end.

and yet, she still humors them all.

she dishes out advice to the girl to bring her boyfriend back to them, returning the same smile of glee when the girl confesses about her conquest – but little does the girl know that byul was the one that lured him away, was the one in his bed not so long ago. she had to keep both happy and unaware in order to keep the affair going. she lures the police away from the area, informing them of a crime a block away, only for her to buy the drugs from the dealer soon after. she lies to the school, to her friends, to everyone about her family and her occupation in order to remain where she is, dives into clubs and extracurricular and maintains her grades to sell the facade of the perfect student; if only they knew the lies behind the smiles.

a color for the present.

GREEN.

it’s not as if byul doesn’t want to relate to others whenever they pour their hearts out to her, thinking as if she’s the saint she portrays – having some form of empathy instead of sympathy would actually sell the image that she gives off to others; make them feel as if she actually relates to their feelings for a higher knowledge of understanding.

but in reality, she can’t. it’s hard for her to actually feel for others on an emotional level.

and maybe, if there was some time that she could take to sit down and go through her childhood issues, she could probably figure pinpoint the cause for this ( along with many other ) flaw within her personality; something to do with her parents most likely or a first love or something of the sort; but at the same time byul realizes that this is only a problem only a portion of the time. people never really look at her too deep enough for them to realize what’s going on.

there was a time whenever she was indulging in one of her “clients”, when she forgot the anniversary of their relationship, much to the man’s chagrin. byul couldn’t understand why he was so upset whenever she relayed her truth to him – because at the end of this day, this was all just a rouse, a facade. it wasn’t real, and she felt like he should put less emphasis upon that. much to say, that partnership didn’t really last as long as she would of hoped. or take the many times when “friends” come to her with some type of problem upon their hands that they need to rant about. the first thought that comes into her mind isn’t to console them and tell them that everything is going to be alright and that they’re such a great person and yada yada. to her, that’s just a waste of time.

so when those particular friends don’t want a solution to their problems ( which also leaves her confused ), she finds herself feeling lost with only an awkward pat of the hand to give them. what else is she supposed to do?

RED.

she wants it all – the glitz, the glam, the one thing that binds most of the student within the university together, the one thing that she doesn’t have, wasn’t born into; riches.

that’s always been her main goal since she started out on this conquest at the age of eighteen; since she started creating this persona for herself in order to attract those who had what she wanted, and knew how to give it to her. she watched mother struggle once father left her long ago, left her with kids to watch over and very little money to provide for. money was the reason she wasn’t given a rather normal childhood; money was the reason that she feels like the only way she can rise to the top is by the hands of other men. and it turns out, she’s not exactly wrong – the reason byul even made it to this school was due to her charm and their lonely nature; she provides a service they so desperately need and receives compensation in response. she’s addicted to the freedom that comes with having an abundance of cash – worries about how she covers her tuition or amenities on campus aren’t even within her state of mind.

but what does cause her to arise at night is the fact that she’s heavily dependent on these men. that their wives could wisen up one day and find her hidden within the cracks of their relationship and cause a divide between her and what’s most important – her “allowances” ( they can keep their husbands for all she cares ). there’s a burning hatred she has for being so finally dependent on these men, a hole that she can’t claw her way out of at the moment. she lies to herself on the daily, tells herself she’s okay with the situation currently because she has multiples on deck and the cash flow is ever abundant, but she’s not happy. this isn’t what she wants to do for the next five or so years

her education is her exit plan. she busts her ass in school, graduates with honors and rises within the social ladder as well as the economic ladder until she’s able to open her own advertising firm – where people work for her and she’s highly sought for due to her own creative skills and connections.

[cwkrp]

RESERVED: until july 4th, 23:59 gmt

kang seulgi, red velvet   //   undecided   //   4321

RESERVED: until july 5th, 23:59 gmt

lee dabin, momoland   //   undecided   //   4583   ( EXT. 2 )

PENDING: until july 4th

jung chaeyeon, dia   //   han byul, lyra   //   accepted

RATIO:  lyra 3/6    crux 4/6    ursa 0/6    apus 3/6    vela 2/6

[cwkrp]

RESERVED: until july 3rd, 23:59 gmt

jung chaeyeon, dia   //   lyra   //   8989   ( EXT. )

RESERVED: until july 4th, 23:59 gmt

kang seulgi, red velvet   //   undecided   //   4321

RESERVED: until july 5th, 23:59 gmt

lee dabin, momoland   //   undecided   //   4583   ( EXT. 2 )

EXPIRED

jung soojung, f(x)

PENDING: until july 4th

n/a

RATIO:  lyra 5/8    crux 7/8    ursa 3/8    apus 3/8    vela 6/8

[cwkrp]

RESERVED: until july 2nd, 23:59 gmt

jung soojung, f(x)   //   lyra   //   2667 lee dabin, momoland   //   undecided   //   4583   ( EXT. )

RESERVED: until july 3rd, 23:59 gmt

jung chaeyeon, dia   //   lyra   //   8989   ( EXT. )

RESERVED: until july 4th, 23:59 gmt

kang seulgi, red velvet   //   undecided   //   4321

PENDING: until july 4th

n/a

RATIO:  lyra 6/8    crux 7/8    ursa 3/8    apus 3/8    vela 6/8

[cwkrp]

have a little imagination, will you?

INTRODUCING   yamoto sakura, she/her, 08/03/99 COURSING   ba in art history & education, second year AFFILIATION   lyra ANNOTATIONS   n/a

CONTENT WARNINGS: sexual assault, abuse of a minor

a note from the past.

TOKEN.

sakura knows something is wrong the moment the door is closed.

it’s hard to breath and she feels so awkward, as if she doesn’t belong there; and sakura really doesn’t. she feels like screaming, begging for help, but at the same time she’s too weak to even whisper a word. she eyes the window lock, the door’s key, the private bathroom. everywhere seems like a possible option to escape from this moment, although deep down sakura’s aware she’s scared enough not to move.

it was supposed to be a pool day. just fun, games and chatting with one of her best friends, cool water and the sunlight on her skin, but now it’s just a nightmare.

“darling, won’t you drink your wine?” the man says, an amusing grin on his face that makes sakura wanna throw her guts up. she can barely believe that it’s her friend’s father in front of her, someone who always looked so genuinely good and careful, someone who wouldn’t let an underage drink, or try to be alone with them; someone who wouldn’t try to touch a thirteen year old’s thigh and kiss her neck. “you know you look beautiful, don’t you?”

sakura closes her eyes not with pleasure, but despair. it’s when he tries to put her on his lap that the glass that were in her hand is dropped on the floor. he looks displeased with her when she opens them again and out of hopelessness sakura grabs a piece of broken glass, aiming at him like she could ever hurt a fly. he probably knows she’s too weak to make a deep wound, but is hesitant for at least five seconds, enough time for her to unlock the door and run away from this house that seems to be swallowing her.

she never tells her parents why she never spoke to this friend of hers again.

GROWTH.

“do i look like her?” sakura asks her mother one day, staring at the mirror. she combs her hair and tilts her head to the side, looking for traits that couldn’t be found on her father. it seems like she just cursed mitsui, though, because the woman looks at her with disbelief.

“you shouldn’t worry about those things,” her stepmother tells her. “every good thing about you came from your dad, that you should know. and from me, too. didn’t i teach you all that you know?” sakura looks at her and nods.

“you did.” she sits by her side and lays her head on her mother’s lap. “i’m sorry for bringing that up again.”

mitsui sighs and her long fingers caress sakura’s scalp. “don’t worry. i know you love me.”

sakura only hums before falling sleep.

they move from japan when she’s four. sakura doesn’t comprehend what happened, but she recalls a big, tremendous fight happening days before. there was someone screaming, someone she didn’t recognize although the woman called her name several times. what she knew was that her parents weren’t happy at all with her presence and, just like that, they left the country.

sakura doesn’t notice many differences between both places, since her father’s hotels was like a second home to her. the one in south korea looked so much like the ones in japan that sakura sometimes forgets she left. being young helps with learning a new language and suddenly she’s used to her new life.

her father once said sakura was too clingy of a girl. she would always ask for cuddles as a child, always looking for a lap to take a nap on. she remembers kissing her mother’s cheek at least twice a day and grabing her friends’ hands whenever she could at school.

after she’s thirteen, she can’t.

“i see you matured,” dad says, once he realizes her behavior. “it was about time. i’m glad.”

mother smiles at her and sakura flinches when she pinches her cheek.

sakura avoids even the smallest contact at first, but get used to it again with time. touching a person for more than two seconds, though, that always seems to get her on edge.

by sixteen, her parents throw one of the best birthday parties sakura could ask. she’s treated like a princess and she’s shy to admit she kind of likes it. her dress is lovely, wonderful to look at, and the make up on her face doesn’t make her look older than she is. it’s one of those nights when sakura feels truly, deeply beautiful.

her father leans by her bedroom’s door, looking at her with distant eyes.

“you look like her.”

her heart stops and sakura thinks she’s so stupid. she’s wanted to know about it ages ago, when she realized what it meant to have a stepmother, but know this information is doing nothing but mock her.

it’s all he says before he leaves. sakura’s smile drops from her face and it only comes back when she’s congratulated by the hotel’s entrance.

a color for the present.

GREEN.

sakura wishes she wasn’t as needy as she is. she desires to be independent, self-suficient; and sakura can actually take good care of herself, except she can’t stand being alone. albeit, she wishes she was able to be in a relationship, to feel comfortable with it since she longs for love so badly. it’s so sad sakura sometimes feels horrible about touching people, like she’s doing something wrong when it’s only natural. not to mention how difficult it is to give her friends an excuse, the reason behind those problems; in the end, sakura wishes she could forget what and who caused this to her.

BLUE.

if there’s something to regret, sakura believes it’s trying to search for her biological mother. she knew everything that she needed to know, didn’t she? sakura knew her mother mistreated her as a baby, that she didn’t want her, that it was all a plan to get money from her father and take him away from his wife; her stepmother, someone who could actually be called a parent. mitsui was strict, yes, but loving and caring. still, the feeling of rejection only made her wonder why. why did she leave, why doesn’t she care. “i’m your blood!” sakura thought of saying. “how could you not want your own daughter!”

sakura found the woman’s house during one of her trips to japan, but never knocked on that door. she left as soon as she saw a ten year old playing in its garden.

[cwkrp]

if i send an app today, could it still be accepted this sunday or would it have to wait until the next one?

You could still be accepted today! Otherwise, our next acceptance day will be on wednesday, so it wouldn’t take so long.

[cwkrp]

have a little imagination, will you?

INTRODUCING   kang heejun, he/him, 14/11/96 COURSING   ba in architecture, second year AFFILIATION   crux ANNOTATIONS   n/a

a note from the past.

TOKEN.

since that night, he had swore to himself to never set foot in a church ever again. he didn’t deserve god’s grace. he didn’t deserve god’s forgiveness.

fingers pluck the lose piece of thread hanging from the slightly oversized sweater he’s wearing. mother said he’d grow into it some day, and he almost already did. she bought a sweater for him too, yet he never got the chance to. all because of heejun.

he’s too busy being pretend fascinated by the color of his own jeans to look up at the woman sitting in front of him. he doesn’t have to look up to know she’s sneering. she’s staring at him with those dark eyes, thinking about how much of a bad person he is.  except, all the times he has been here, she has never done any of that. she watched him with calm eyes, with a glint of worry, and a glint of comfort, but never contempt.

he looks up, finally, and her eyes are just as they always were, just as they always would be. psychologists were used to murderers and outright freaks, maybe she was too good at hiding what was actually going on in her head. his feet shuffle against the carpet, body twisting to reduce the discomfort. it never helps.

“you’ve been coming here every week for months now, heejun. you’ve barely said anything, but at least i have you looking up more often. have you been taking your medicine?”

he nods.

“okay. i think there’s something you’re not telling me, though.”

heejun swallows. everyone tiptoes around him, pretends they don’t know that he is a murderer, that he isn’t the kind, selfless kid everyone used to know him as. heejun was selfish, and now he is gone, and if heejun knows one thing, it’s that he will never forgive himself, even when everyone else has.

“i know you blame yourself, heejun. he was sick. there was nothing you could have done differently.”

to that, heejun can only laugh.

GROWTH.

days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months, and somewhere along the way, heejun loses track of time. a mindless zombie walks to and from school, laughs with his friends, never really feeling the type of joy that bubbles up all the way from his gut to his throat when he does.

he learns to live with it; the constant emptiness in the core of his own being, the abscence of an irritating voice, a pair of chopsticks finding their way into the wrong bowl and stealing the last pieces of meat.

seojun’s bed has been long gone, perhaps ever since heejun got back - he doesn’t remember. the room feels too big for just him and he clearly recalls those times when seojun and heejun protested against being the stereotypical twins, identical to a t. their parents had went against their wishes for separate rooms, telling them time is going to go by way too fast, and that they’ll be missing each other’s company way too soon once they’re adults.

and heejun misses seojun’s presence so strongly, that it’s like a knife, laced with guilt and childhood regrets, that cuts him each night. his grief is strong enough for heejun to choke back tears at night, wondering if seojun would forgive him in the afterlife if he were to die right then and there. heejun hopes he wouldn’t; seojun has always been too nice for his own good.

one would think heejun would learn from his ways, would become kinder, better in the wake of his twin. but bitterness sinks its roots deep into heejun and he knows life is unfair, so playing fair and getting burnt is not something he’s keen on.

his parents don’t exactly notice a change in his behavior. it’s not like he changes much at all to begin with. his grades are still up, and sure, he gets into a few fist fights, mainly over girls that he dumps a week later, but he’s still grieving, even if it’s been two years, even if he hasn’t mentioned a word about seojun for months, as if he never existed at all.

the first time his parents see his face genuinely light up, is when he is accepted to seoho. it’s a good school, and while they never really understood how heejun went from music, theatre, and abstract art into something as structured as architecture, they cheer for him because heejun hasn’t felt truly happy ever since that night.

he leaves seoul and he can breathe more easily then. he no longer has to pretend that everything is fine when nothing really is, or at least he gets to pretend that the reason is not the death of his twin brother. he gets to pretend that there never was a twin brother, and that his debatably ill personality is due to either too much or too little of his parents’ coddling.

a color for the present.

GREEN.

“that’s crazy, seojun. you’re gonna get yourself killed.”

“it’s not worth it, seojun.”

“you’re going to get yourself killed.”

heejun stands on the edge of a gully, hands crossed over his chest. he would try to help seojun, or, well, at least make sure seojun doesn’t break his neck, but it’s been twenty minutes since his brother first saw the animal in need of help and for twenty minutes he had tried and failed to talk him out of being a hero.

“it’s a vermin, it’s either going to survive on its own or it’s going to die. don’t disrupt nature, seojun.”

his voice almost monotonous by now, heejun knows there really isn’t much of a point in talking anymore.

“can you think about something other than yourself for once? i know you don’t care for anyone else’s life, but i do care, and you’re not going to stop me.” seojun finally bites back as he wraps a small, crying bundle in the scarf he pulls from his neck.

heejun shivers at the sight and at the wind that tries to push them off their feet so violently. for a split second he considers giving his brother his own scarf, but he knows he’s not the kind of person to sacrifice his own comfort just because his brother wanted to save some stupid animal.

“mother isn’t going to like you bringing a stray into the house.”

…

it’s a chilly, windy evening, miuch like the one where they had stumbled upon the small, abandoned kitten in a small forest not far from home. his mother never protested about seojun bringing a kitten into the house and as much as heejun hated to admit it, the small animal managed to light some kind of fire in his cold, egotistic heart.

running his fingers through the cat’s fur, he smiles as the cat purs loudly and stretches on heejun’s lap even further. the cat seems like she’s smiling and heejun feels sorry that she never got to understand where seojun, her savior, disappeared to.

“even though you don’t know… you must miss him a lot. even though i know, i wish he could just come back. i would accept a million strays into my home if i could just have an hour with him.”

BLUE.

1 missed call from seojun.

the music blares loud enough for his head to ache, but one of his arms is wrapped around a girl’s warm, slender waist, and suddenly nothing else matters in the world.

2 missed calls from seojun.

he ignores the buzzing on his phone as he whispers into the girls ear, hands feeling her body, brushing skin way too high up her dress. he doesn’t even remember what he tells her, it’s just anything that would get her out of her clothes and on top of him. heejun knows he shouldn’t act like this for more reasons that one, but he’s a foreign exchanged student locking lips with a beautiful blonde, so he’s sure his brother would understand.

but his brother never gets the chance to.

heejun returns to his brother already sound asleep, and he thinks nothing of it, it’s past midnight, after all. he showers, gets ready for bed, and only then does the sinking feeling hit him.

something isn’t right.

it’s thirty past midnight when heejun tries to shake seojun’s cold body awake. it’s thirthy five past midnight when heejun, with shaky fingers and a trembling voice, calls an ambulance, and it’s at 1 am that heejun’s brother is pronounced dead.

hypoglycemia is explained to be the cause of death. doctors speculate that maybe seojun hasn’t eaten before going to bed. heejun never tells them about taking the last dose of insulin for himself, and the missed calls.

heejun murders his brother and tells no one about it because what kind of brother would leave his sibling to die all alone?

[cwkrp]

The following accounts are on notice until July 4th, 23:59 GMT.  In accordance to our guidelines, failure to meet our activity standards will have your account removed from the masterlist.

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[cwkrp]

RESERVED: until july 2nd, 23:59 gmt

jung soojung, f(x)   //   lyra   //   2667 lee dabin, momoland   //   undecided   //   4583   ( EXT. )

RESERVED: until july 3rd, 23:59 gmt

jung chaeyeon, dia   //   lyra   //   8989   ( EXT. )

RESERVED: until july 4th, 23:59 gmt

kang seulgi, red velvet   //   undecided   //   4321 myoui mina, twice   //   undecided   //   7860

PENDING: until july 1st

byun baekhyun, exo   //   kang heejun, crux   //   accepted

RATIO:  lyra 5/8    crux 7/8    ursa 3/8    apus 3/8    vela 6/8