cwombw

[cwombw]

i’ve moved accounts, including discord.

if you are interested in following me even though i am doing a complete 180 on my aesthetic and other content, please ask me at nicc#6660

[cwombw]

one last post before i abandon this blog for good

you don’t get to play both sides. you don’t get to say “i know he hurt you but i still love him and want to date him” while also saying that you love me and want to be with me.

i don’t play games like that, i refuse to participate. goodbye and have fun with your circlejerk.

i started getting the feeling that you were lying to me about what you said after what went down anyway at the suggestion of him, and my gut is almost never wrong.

[cwombw]

im moving, hence the blog title change to archive, im going to purge my queue, i want these warnings to be the last posts on my blog.

[cwombw]

so.... somebody i was dating up until about an hour or two ago is abusive and an abuse apologist

i’m gonna keep it short and im going to leave out a lot of things from public view unless somebody asks to see it, mostly for my peace of mind, literally no other reason, rest assured i have chatlogs and screenshots of what happened between us.

edit: the person in question is jeremytheman and runs a few other blogs including a dear even hansen kin aesthetics blog, he also runs kinsational, a kinchat i originally created myself. (it was dumb to give him server owner permissions, i know.) if you are in kinsational i implore you to leave. i will be remaking kinsational myself later.

lets just start off with this copy paste i have here bc it sums up what happened.

nicc-Today at 2:06 PM

hes abusive and an abuse apologist i told him about somebody who hurt me and my girlfriend and he instantly sided with them despite not having any proof that i was lying he called me a liar multiple times within the past hour, accused me of manipulating him and abusing him and abusing this person. even after i gave him all the proof i could he admitted to having lied about loving me and being happy with me and accused me of making him feel suicidal

screenshot of the message so im not accused of faking it. (fixed some typos in the c/p lol)

last night i had a huge breakdown where because of something my girlfriend said to me and has been saying to me for a short while now, i thought that i HAD to dump both this person and my other boyfriend in order to not make my gf jealous or hurt anymore, it literally tore at my heart and after sleeping on it after talking to star about it i realized that i could be with them anyway, it wasn’t my fault nor was it on me because star made me think that and star was the one who needed to change, not me. i apologized to both of them.

i was in the middle of trying to figure things out with jeremy (debated whether or not to name drop him..) when somebody who i already have a callout for joined this kin server we were both in that i had JUST joined moments prior. panicking i pushed him away and left the server and blocked the server owner. immediately upon talking to the person i called out jeremy decided that i was lying and trying to abuse this person with no proof from their side and proceeded to hound me for proof (which i gave all that i had to him but apparently it wasn’t enough. this is ironic considering he believed me about my abuser before despite having the same amount of proof.) panicking, upset, and very hurt i split on him and tried both to convince him that i was telling the truth and cushion the inevitable by saying coping statements (even if unhealthy) such as “you never loved me”, etc.

he started accusing me of guilt tripping him and being abusive, explicitly stating that he thought i was abusing him. he then admitted that he has been lying and hiding how he’s really felt towards me since day one (which is essentially summed up to “i never loved you”)

he said that ive made him miserable and suicidal and says that him betraying me isn’t an excuse for me “abusing” him

he said that me leaving chats he was in to avoid people i didn’t want to be around or me leaving group chats he’s in because i want some alone time and i feel like i’m not good enough to be included in his dating circle is abusive and manipulative. this is straight up a tactic that my abuser has used against me in order to control me, which he would know about, considering that i have shown him what my abuser has done to me before.

he said that me saying i wanted to kms is abusive and manipulative, further fueled by the fact that i am genuinely suicidal, according to him. he knows that i am off my anti depressants, having vented about it before where he could see it, he also knows that i have attempted before, so i have a complicated relationship with suicidal ideation.

he says that me saying nobody cares about me is manipulative and guilt tripping, except that i don’t say it to do that or even think about it like that, its just me venting, because i genuinely believe that it is true unless im having a good day, which is rare now due to me being off my meds and not being able to see a therapist for some time now, another thing he is blatantly aware of.

i tried begging him to talk to me about things, i offered to drop my stance about defending myself and my girlfriend against the person i had called out and listen to him which he then called another guilt tripping/manipulation tactic, which, while i was desperate to just.. make him believe i was telling the truth and to not leave me, again, i never thought of it that way, nor did i intend for it to be that way, if anything i was hoping that he would at least talk things out with me properly if i stopped being so headstrong and brash.

i have no idea if he plans to turn people against me or make a callout for me, i hope not.

i myself have been telling people what hes done to me and how hes made me feel (more than one occasion has made me feel worthless and made me want to die, among other things) not to turn others against him but to warn him about the kind of person he is, if they side with him, that’s their decision, but i really don’t want to be around the people who would side with him about what went down, considering the context.

if you know him or have met him and you believe him and the person i called out please go ahead and let me know i will remove you from my life. i don’t do devils advocate and i dont do spies.

[cwombw]

ahahahahahahaha

[cwombw]

Struggles of abusers:

having to force someone you hurt and terrified over and over again to still react to you as if you’re a family member

having to explain to your victims over and over again that all that you’ve done in the past is just their imagination, then doing it all over again, and then again forcing them to believe you didn’t and they’re just insane

guests noticing your child flinch from sharp movements, having to laugh it off, and quickly invent another credible reason why the child acts like that, lest you be suspected!

later abuse the child more and threaten them to stop flinching as it’s unconvenient

having to convince your child they owe you a lot after giving them nothing, having to make a big deal of allowing them to eat and sleep even when you know they could get that at an orphanage or a prison too

having to pretend to be nice to your kid in front of people

or alternatively, having to threaten your kid even more than usual in front of others in order to show off how much you can control them and order them around like slaves

having to make sure your victims don’t tell anyone about what you did

coping with anxiety that someone will find out about your toxic behaviour by throwing rage tantrums and tons of threats

having to maintain a dictatorship and control on what everyone is allowed to think or say lest they out you as an abuser

not being able to brag all the time about how proud you are of establishing a dictatorship and are controlling everyone with fear and threats

not being able to look yourself in the eyes and admit to yourself what you became, instead have to project all of your shit on others and focus on everyone’s insecurity lest they think of turning on you

[cwombw]

abusers are weak and pathetic, there’s nothing more weak and shameful than trapping and torturing someone vulnerable who doesn’t want to be in your presence get a fucking life

[cwombw]

if u care abt me reblog the callout lol

[cwombw]

riley weeb ass bitch mewmewpudding die challenge

[cwombw]

riley weeb ass bitch mewmewpudding die challenge

[cwombw]

relevant again.

isn’t life great?

below cut.

Keep reading

[cwombw]

Anyone wanna invite me in for a drink?.. #fangs #nomakeup #queerwoman #idksummergothorsomething ((she/her. okay to reblog.))

[cwombw]

♡  pretty lace bras  //  15% off discount code - Wallis15  ♡

✧  please click the link and reblog if you can!  ✧

[cwombw]

you are limitless :))

[cwombw]

IDC anymore about anything

[cwombw]

Anyway love is fake

[cwombw]

Fuzzy and plush seashell clutch from Gelato Pique ☆ミ