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//big apologies to any and everyone who follows and interacts with this blog. 

my autistic ass decided “huh, im gonna watch thor again, just for the ‘another’ moment” and the MCU has consumed nearly every ounce of my attention since. in other news i fell asleep on the washing machine earlier. i was watching it and then i woke up. howre yall??

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( gonna answer some more questions when i awaketh uvu. so if anyone wants 2 send anything overnight, now would be the time! <333!! )

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Hoshi's currently sprawled across Shouto's lap, nuzzling him and burying his face into the other teenager's chest. His tail wagging a mile-a-minute as he sighs in contentment. Was he getting up anytime soon? Nope!

“ …oh. ”

shouto stares down at him, lifting his hand for something before putting it back down. he’s done it around three times now, managing to look more and more distressed each time he does. 

today’s been one of those days. one of those days where he doesn’t feel like a person. where he always sees himself as less than, if he’s even aware enough to really process his thoughts properly. 

one of those days where he can’t forget the sound of his mother’s sobbing, of nights spent awake because of new and old injuries alike, of arguments between his siblings when they thought he couldn’t hear them, of every time his father has so much as looked in his direction and some mix of anger and fear washed over him.

one of those days where just being was painful, where he couldn’t stand to see his reflection or even picture himself at all. 

one of those days where he wishes he wasn’t.

it must’ve been really obvious, if this is the situation he’s gotten himself into now. he can’t tell. hoshi’s presence is somewhat… grounding. calming. his eyes track the movement of his tail, and he admits that this is a little better than what it was like before, even if he still flinches every once in a while, or finds his body tensing as if in preparation for an attack.

this is a new sensation. being so scared and confused and lost and tired - and being so happy at the same time. 

he’s honestly long since lost track of how long the two of them have been there. he can’t remember when it started, or at what point hoshi even came into his room. maybe at a different time, he’d get incredibly flustered, perhaps he’d even catch fire once or twice.

but now he feels the slightest bit of comfort in it, a foothold to help him climb out of this hole he’s in.

the one he must’ve dug himself. 

occasionally it gets too hard to handle, too loud, too much - why is he just sitting here, being useless, and doing nothing productive, like the mistake he is? the carefully crafted mistake that should’ve been thrown into the trash a long fucking time ago. 

but no he had to - hoshi’s tail thumps against the carpet once, and he’s back. not completely, but close enough to lucid that he isn’t drowning in his own insecurities, choking on memories and being pulled down by misdirected hatred. 

he lifts his hand once more, gently placing it on top of hoshi’s head. he pets him, gently, taking a slow, deep breath and trying his best to remind himself that he deserves to be here. 

“ thank you. “

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✩ Midoriya Izuku ⋆ 緑谷出久 + Horikoshi’s Sketches ✩

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goldenreceiiver‌:

Soon his tears begin to dry and his smile simply widens. Hoshi doesn’t seem to notice the slight cold; even if he does, he doesn’t mind it. His attention is focused entirely onto Shouto’s face. 

“Yeah, I want ‘em! Tell me!”

Hoshi’s tail is STILL WAGGING! He’s enjoying this, he always likes hanging out with his friends, especially Shouto. He nuzzles into Shouto’s shoulder and closes his eyes, but only for a moment. Part of him doesn’t want to get up, he wants to stay here with Shouto forever. 

“Udon’s good… one of my favorite dishes. I know how to cook it! Maybe someday, I could prepare some for you.”

“ there’s a really good place downtown. it’s a bit of a walk from here, but trust me it’s worth it. there’s a closer place that’s okay, and it’s good for a quick bite, but the staff gets antsy if you’re in there for too long, i think. there’s also a hole-in-the-wall sort of place? people avoid it but it’s actually pretty good. and, um - “ he looks down for a moment, visibly gathering his thoughts before he glances back up ( after a short period in which he gave in to his impulses, and stared at the tail as if it was the most interesting thing he had seen all day. )

“ yeah. i’d like if you did. could you teach me too? i know how to make a lot of different things, but i’ve always really wanted to learn to make udon, so... “

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aquirkyvillain‌:

Uh-oh, did he say something wrong?? Izuku watched his friend with concern, taking note of his blushing face. He flinches as Shouto erupts into flames and immediately steps back, releasing him as his eyes grow wide.

“S-Shouto–! Shouto-kun, a-are you okay?! Ah, I-I-I’m sorry if I upset you, that wasn’t my intention! I-I just, thought you should know how I feel about you! Y-you’re my best friend a-and I… I–”

Izuku paused, wanting to get it ALL out even if it just makes everything worse. He was rambling now, and there was no stopping him.

“I-I LOVE YOU!”

“I love you, I do! Please, s-say something! Say something, anything!”

shouto manages to calm down, somehow managing to keep his expression neutral even through his strangled words and the fact that he is on fire.

“ izuku, i love you too. very much in fact. i didn’t think - that you would like me back? so i never said anything? but this is so much better because you said it first and it’s honestly been a while and i hadn’t known if you’d noticed and wow, is - “ 

he sways a bit on his feet, stumbling forward and just managing to put out the fire before holding onto izuku. wow - this is - wow. 

“ is the air thin in here? cause i - i can’t breathe. like - i want the best for you, and you are the best, and you’re amazing and im gonna pass out. “

“ izuku, holy fuck, i’m actually going to pass out. “

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goldenreceiiver‌:

More tears were flowing freely down his cheeks while he listened to the other teen speak. He was thankful Shouto was being honest and not wanting to sugarcoat things; that wasn’t what Hoshi needed right now. Yes, he needed comforting, he also needed to hear the truth. That things might NOT get better. Poor Hoshi was always trying to make others happy, but was he? No. 

“I… know. I-I know that… things probably won’t get any better. It just really hurts, Shouto-kun. I need to grieve for a little while, but I think I’ll do that some other time.” Not right now, not while his friend was here. He sniffled, before smiling softly, tears pricking the corner of his eyes.

“T-thanks for being here for me! You’re such a great friend. I’m lucky to have you in my life.” He couldn’t stop the blush from appearing against his cheeks and his smile only seemed to grow at the mention of food. 

“Can we…?”

Hoshi perked up a bit and drew back from the hug, watching Shouto intently as his tail began wagging quickly. “I’d really like that!”

shouto doesn’t look all that happy about how hoshi seemed to just shove all of his feelings in a book, but who is he to talk? he does it nearly every waking moment. even the displeasure doesn’t stop the warmth in his chest that comes from seeing hoshi smile, though.

shouto is half sure that nothing can prevent that side-effect. he doesn’t respond to the compliments, but his lips twitch and it gets the slightest bit colder - a tell-tale sign that a certain someone is trying to suppress a blush.

he likes this. he could get used to this, even if hoshi smiling that smile that made everything warmer and brighter - even if he did that thing where his tail would swish back and forth, and it took all of shouto’s effort to not track it with his eyes or reach out and try to catch it.

“i eat udon all the time, so i have a couple of suggestions, if you want ‘em. “ 

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aquirkyvillain‌:

“Oh good! I’m glad, because I think it’s nice too. You’re a great hugger.” He didn’t know Shouto was a good hugger! Well, now he did. His own face began to flush a bit and he smiles widely, happy his friend wasn’t upset with him. Would Shouto let him hug him often? He could get used to this–

The forehead kiss startled him, but it certainly wasn’t unwelcome! Izuku laughed quietly before (hesitantly) choosing to brush a hand through Shouto’s hair. His heart was thrumming loudly inside his chest and he only hoped that Shouto wasn’t able to hear it. 

He wanted… more. More hugs, more forehead kisses, from Shouto. Realization hit him like a brick and his blush deepened. He had a crush. Wait– more than just a simple crush. He was falling for Shouto, and though part of him was absolutely terrified… he wanted to admit his feelings aloud. 

“Shouto-kun. I… like you, a lot. M-more than a friend should. I hope you don’t think I’m weird for saying this, I needed to get it off my chest! Y-you’re very special to me.” 

shouto wasn’t able to hear the heartbeat, but he could certainly feel it. if he said he wasn’t even the slightest bit confused as to why izuku seemed more flustered all of a sudden, he would’ve been lying. 

he watches izuku’s expressions, absent-mindedly counting his freckles, as he usually does whenever he gets the chance to look at the other so closely. occasionally he’ll glance back to izuku’s eyes to show that he’s still - well - present, before getting lost in the pattern of his curls, and the deep green of his eyes again. 

this is usually what happens, but shouto is a bit too busy right now absolutely reeling from what izuku just said.

he pulls back for a moment, gentle but the slightest bit rushed, so he can get a better look at izuku. there’s sincerity in his eyes.

this isn’t a lie.

he opens his mouth to say something, but all that comes out is a pathetic little squeak, so he closes his mouth and just nods instead. words have never been nice to him.

in his head, the part of him that makes up the majority of his villain persona is absolutely losing it. ‘oh, deadass? say sike right now.’ his entire brain is practically vibrating, and he’s really, honestly sure that his entire face is red.

he blinks once. twice. three times. still trying to process what just happened. and then, promptly, as he does in what seems to be every universe - he bursts into flames.

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aquirkyvillain‌:

Izuku sighs heavily, face still buried into Shouto’s chest. He’s able to slowly calm down, thanks to Shouto’s help. He sniffles, clinging to the other teenager tight. He really doesn’t want to let go. It is a strange feeling, being so touch starved and yet… extremely touch averse. 

“O-okay. It’s okay. I-I forgive you, Shouto-kun.”

He pulls away to stare at Shouto’s face.

“It’s… fine that I’m hugging you. R-right…? I-I know that sometimes you don’t like hugs. Like me. I-I just wanna be sure.” 

he smiles gently, and with a little huff-soft noise mixture that is shouto’s laughter. there’s still something roiling under his skin, that wants to make izuku promise to never think he’s not deserving of good things ever again - even if he has to hurt izuku to make that happen. but he’s become a little too good at ignoring his impulses.

most of the time.

“ you’re fine, izuku. i don’t mind right now. it’s actually - “ he blushes, but it’s easily calmed by a bit of frost to his cheek. “ it’s actually pretty nice. “

he frowns the slightest bit after he says that, a rush of anxiety going through him. he doesn’t want izuku to feel bad anymore. never again. how does he fix it? can he fix it? can he make it better? permanently?

probably not, he concludes. so, he’ll settle with a soft kiss to izuku’s forehead for now.

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( anybody got verse ideas for the bakublog? owo )

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goldenreceiiver‌:

“Could we get some food…? I’d just… really like to try and take my mind off it. It was like she didn’t even WANT to see me.” 

Hoshi’s voice cracked as he spoke again, fingers slowly curling into fists at his sides. He shook his head at Shouto’s question; there was no way he was going to see her again. He didn’t feel like trying, since she was quick to slam the door directly in his face. He’d figured she’d been pretty young when she had him, perhaps that’s the reason she put him up for adoption when he was born… but… now he just wasn’t sure why. 

He turned to face his friend before draping his arms around the other, pulling him into a hug. Hoshi buried his face in Shouto’s chest, hot tears streaming down his cheeks while he cried quietly. His world was turning shitty, with his fathers’ death and now realizing his own birth mother STILL doesn’t want him… it was a bit too much for him to handle. 

“Why…”

He mumbled, not pulling away. “Why didn’t she want me…?”

shouto doesn’t say anything at first. he doesn’t know what to say, and his voice is still rioting against him, so there’s no point in trying to do so. so, instead, he holds his friend close, rubbing his back in deliberate, soothing circles. 

he thinks it over for a while. maybe a little too long before he speaks, his voice a low rumble in his chest. 

“ i don’t know. i actually think you’re pretty amazing. sometimes - sometimes parents just aren’t good at knowing when they’ve got something amazing, and throw it away. it’s like having one of those really valuable toys or something, and throwing it away because you don’t know how much it can do or what it’s worth. “

a slow breath. 

“ it’s a little weird, honestly. some parents treat their kids so differently than ours - “ his heart jumps at that. he didn’t mean to say that. but he can’t stop talking now. he has to finish what he’s saying.

“ - do. some parents can be like that. maybe she needs time, or... maybe it’s permanent. i don’t want to lie and let you be hurt later by telling you it’ll be all good and perfect when you’re older, so i won’t. ”

he looks away. he doesn’t want to see hoshi’s reaction when he says this part. even if it works. 

“ it might not get better. but i’m here, and all our teachers are here, and all of our friends are here. even if your parents aren’t there for you. “

he pauses for a moment to take a breath. to steady himself - to center himself. 

“ so, um. i suggest we get udon. “

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                           “THIS KITTY’S GOT CLAWS!”

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blackcatted‌:

He hasn’t seen other students sleeping…? Strange, Kira’s seen plenty of them! Oh well, maybe she was a little… aggressive. She should apologize. Kira sighed heavily and rolled her eyes.

“It’s… okay. I should be the one who’s sorry, I guess I’m just a little on edge.” 

shouto listens to her speak, feeling the slightest bit of tension leave his shoulders as he keeps his usual unwavering eye contact. is this making her uncomfortable? this makes people uncomfortable sometimes, doesn’t it? 

he then looks away, nodding once, both at his inner dialogue, and her words. on the inside, he’s practically jumping for joy at the fact that his attempt at making amends didn’t go horribly awry for once, and on the outside, he looks mildly distracted. 

“ it’s alright, i know the feeling. i’m todoroki shouto. i don’t believe we’ve met before... this. “

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( me, getting back to writing replies:  my brain: yeah, sure, ok. but what if you made a bakugo blog me, with a fuckton of blogs already: me: im listening )

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blackcatted‌:

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“So WHAT if I was sleeping?? That’s none of your business.” 

Kira mumbled, ears lying perfectly flat against her head as she straightened up. “S’not like we’re in a classroom right now, I can take a cat nap if I want to. Are you always such a buzzkill?”

he stares, absolutely incredulous for a few moments. all he had done was look at her for a few more than a few seconds. he then sighs, recognizes that there’s no use trying to explain himself, and instead works to rectify this situation - one that has already gone so remarkably wrong in so little time.

“ sorry. i was just a little - er - confused. it’s not often that i actually notice someone sleeping. “

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aquirkyvillain‌:

“…n… not your fault.” 

Izuku doesn’t answer verbally, instead choosing to drape his arms around Shouto’s torso, embracing him in a tight hug. He wasn’t going to let go soon, so he hoped the other teenager wouldn’t shove him away. His eyes flew shut and he whimpered. “I-it’s my fault, I snapped at you. Shouto-kun, I-I’m sorry…” 

shouto hugs back without hesitation, burying his face in those green curls. this and the hug manages to take away the last of any tension within him, so he begins to focus on trying to get izuku to calm down. 

“ no - it’s no one’s fault. if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s a little bit of both of us. i... could’ve been calmer about my reaction. and i upset you. i’m sorry about that. ” 

he gently pets izuku’s hair with his right hand, his left gently curled around him. 

“ it’s okay. “

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..??