cyanidequeen

[cyanidequeen]

[cyanidequeen]

to love someone is firstly to confess: i'm prepared to be devastated by you. by A History of My Brief Body by Billy-Ray Belcourt

[cyanidequeen]

I don’t get people who want only one species of grass in their yard. You don’t want blankets of purple and white violets in spring? You don’t want a carpet of clover in summer? Are you opposed to the pop of color and texture you get from dandelions and Indian paintbrushes and a hundred other little flowers and plants? No wild chives in random clumps behind the woodshed??? They’re all just unwanted weeds to you? What the fuck is wrong with you. Freak of nature (derogatory).

[cyanidequeen]

Working on incorporating this in a way that my neighbors don't turn me in to the city.

Plant native plants, y’all!

[cyanidequeen]

It's been years since I started seeing nutrient flows constantly in my daily life, and the more I study agriculture, the more I see them.

See, every time you harvest something, you take the nutrients in that item away from the soil, and they go somewhere else. When I put a banana peel in my compost bin, I think (a little gleefully) about how I've just added an exotic, different profile of nutrients to my own property--but I also think about that distant banana plantation that lost tons of nutrients per year to US grocery stores, and I wonder what they replaced those nutrients with.

The farmer across my field grows corn, which gets harvested for feed. Corn is a nitrogen-hungry crop. Every year, that corn sucks up nutrients, which get harvested and shipped away. The farmer, being a conventional farmer, mostly replaces those with a conventional fertilizer. Nitrogen is often applied to fields in the form of ammonia fertilizer, which is made via a process that binds nitrogen in the air with hydrogen from natural gas. This feels like a vast resource, but of course we know it's not inexhaustible and not without cost.

Ideally, said farmer does soil tests and applies a carefully considered amount of ammonia. It is taken up by the growing plants and relatively little is lost. Possibly (often), though, some of the ammonia is leached out via rain and ends up in waterways, where it causes plant overgrowth and algal blooms, which harm the waterways in several ways, and turn those nutrients from a resource into a contaminant.

Meanwhile, the corn is also uptaking a variety of other nutrients from the soil which the commercial fertilizer is NOT replacing. Year by year, those nutrients get shipped off to distant feedlots and depleted in the soil. Eventually, those nutrients are gone from my neighbor's field and, quite possibly, languishing in a manure lagoon somewhere in, say, Indiana, where one can only hope it's properly treated and made into compost. But, you know. Not necessarily.

When I buy compost at the store, it's usually based in either cow manure or "forest products". Hopefully, depending on brand, those forest products MIGHT be collected municipal yard waste. Which is pretty good. Those suburbanites don't want their leaves, I do, win/win.

Except that because those suburbanites raked their yard waste, they now need at some point to fertilize their trees, shrubs, and turf grass. Meanwhile, they've eliminated habitat for the many insects that use leaf litter to either overwinter or reproduce. They may not be counting the costs, but the costs don't stop existing.

The ebb and flow of nutrients is something that, in the current system, goes utterly unregarded by most of the people taking part in the process. Even gardeners bring nutrients onto their soils mostly without thinking about the places those nutrients came from. I think in a sustainable world, that needs to change.

Also probably we need to do a hell of a lot more cover-cropping.

[cyanidequeen]

[cyanidequeen]

Yet again, more proof that capitalism was never about "freedom" or "small government".

[cyanidequeen]

[cyanidequeen]

we’re gonna be ok btw

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Can people please stop comparing the stigma of their widely recognized mental illnesses to psychosis/schizophrenia? I understand there is stigma of other mental illnesses too, but that's a lot more talked about and debunked. When I make posts about my illness and community specifically I don't appreciate you derailing it to include your illness that doesn't face the same stigma.

People looking at you weird isn't the same as people filming you and posting it for laughs, people attacking you because they see you existing as a threat, and calling the police for showing symptoms you can't control. You can't convince me that the stigma around psychosis and schizophrenia doesn't exist or is the same as the stigma of every other mental illness. I see it every day, I've experienced it myself, I don't share my illness publicly because I fear for my own physical safety and humanity.

Here are some examples I have naturally come across on YouTube comments recently, people don't usually fight against these and they are the norm: [TW: sanism, serial killer mention, demonic possession mention, forced medication, forced hospitalization]

We don't commit most violent crimes in the world. We are not inherently violent. But society's belief that this is true and that we should all be locked up for the rest of our life is still believed widely today. This is what I am advocating against. This is what I want changed in the world and at the very least in the neurodiversity community. We just want to be seen as humans, please do not make this about other mental illnesses.

[cyanidequeen]

Slightly unusual complaint but I wish resource websites with information on psychosis wouldn’t have such unsettling imagery.

The media already creates so much uneasiness in the average person about psychotics already.

The last thing we need is for loved ones of possibly or definitely psychotic children or other vulnerable folks to see that imagery and associate “horror” with their loved ones. Especially since a lot of the time it is not even accurate imo.

Anyway that’s just my two cents, I’d love to hear the opinions of others

[cyanidequeen]

The reason that stigma against psychosis and sufferers of psychotic is such a nightmare because there is a basic and pervasive misunderstanding of the word itself. It's treated as a synonym for "bad" and "evil." It's been bastardized and misused so much that the actual medical meaning is never the first thing that comes to mind. That's why the use of the word is a hill I'm ready to die on. Using it wrong hurts people deeply and no amount of "I didn't mean it like that" will ever change the fact that people hear the word psychotic (a word that means the world to me) and immediately think danger and violence and cruelty. It's a condition, not an insult, and this kind of thing should not fly with anyone.

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[cyanidequeen]

PLEASE DO NOT LOOK AWAY.

This is the CECOT prison in El Salvador where 45 is sending people without criminal records.

This satellite image is from March 20, 2024 and appears to show blood and bodies on CECOT grounds near a shack that was constructed sometime between November and March of that year. If you look at the same area in earlier imaging, the additional shack is not pictured and the red stains and debris are also not pictured.

ASK YOURSELF, WHY IS OUR GOVERNMENT INSISTING THAT THEY CANNOT RETRIEVE ANYONE FROM CECOT?

[cyanidequeen]

[cyanidequeen]

• Fidgeting and stuttering do NOT always indicate that someone is nervous.

• Avoiding eye contact does NOT always mean someone is lying.

• Having a hard time focusing does NOT always mean someone is lazy.

• Carrying around a stuffed animal or blanket does NOT make someone childish.

• Poor motor skills is NOT a direct indication of intelligence.

Not everyone fits into your box. Deal with it.

[cyanidequeen]

Lots of realy cute cats. Last one is one funky cool cat