cyberfruitt

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making wolfstar in Sims 4 & i've made Sirius an artist/mechanic- i feel like this room works well lmao

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My recent trip to deep coast/woods of my island gave me so much inspo for the next phase of my fic✨️👏🏼

Am so ready for wolfstar fam on the coast chapters omg

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Survived the stretch of highway thru the mountains (just barely lol) & am now in a place that is perfect inspo for the current phase of my fic👏🏼

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Maturing is not being filled with Teenage Rage™️ after a very complicated breakup and allowing your heart to continue flourishing with the love you feel, accept the love and care they still are giving, then message their mother telling them to have the happiest wedding day ever

🌟Its remotely adjusting the software you both set up years prior & giving them the directory of the data you held sacred for them, mere weeks after you offically parted for the first time in 10 years...

❤️‍🩹Its writing to them to inform your dad is dying, mirroring the moment they called you with the same words 5 yrs prior during your last stint apart and discussing it all like no time has passed...

💫Its being so very fucking firm in not allowing your friends and family to shittalk them because it wasn't like that sort of parting, they just couldn't take what you were doing to yourself & you couldn't take the two hour long fights at the kitchen table anymore

🌻Maturing is realizing sometimes too people can love each other so fucking deeply, suffer for one another, and not be together- for life carved another path.

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it is SURREAL seeing a Canadian story/beloved one in the region being portrayed in Japanese film/anime. AND THE FACT THIS IS THE SECOND ANIME THEY MADE ABOUT IT???

lucy would riot

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✒️𝕗𝚒𝚌 𝕌𝚙𝚍𝚊𝚝𝓮

*me after writing the most heart wrenching, angsty fucking chapter ive ever written & doing it all to songs like "jumper" by third eye blind & "broken" by lifehouse*

hope you guys like this one- editing the next one now (much shorter) as they need to come in a pair

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Fr tho there's something so fucking special about historical diaries & accounts of the inner feelings of someone who was alive 140+ years ago, and also a POC in the midst of a Colonial Shitfire™️ (i love where my work takes me):

Man who was looked at as hard/cold, was a Hot Topic™️ in the last decade bc of governing a colonial society while black & having a native wife/kids: writes the exact minute & day when his many children passed during the hard fort years of British Columbia (1800s). It has got me in the fucking feels IT IS SO SAD I CANNOT DESCRIBE IT, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO READ THE SCRIPT OF HIS HANDWRITING TO FEEL IT:

"Little boy": Not baptized, born 5th November, 1833. Died same day. It was Saturday.

"Ellen": died 24th November, 1834 at a few minutes past 8 in the morning. Friday.

I CANTTTT😭😭

Then the years ago by, the kids who make it grow up: he's now writing letters to his youngest, the golden child, saying how he still puts an apple on her nightstand to pretend she's home while overseas, how he walks under the apple tree in their front yard (the tree i ended up studying and smoking weed under lmao) and aches at her absence- how "mama cries for you to just come home" ITS ALL TOO MUCH😭

Fr FUCK all those people who petitioned for his statue to be removed & for this family history to be disregarded- our island was governed by a black man, with a Cree wife, in the fucking 1800s in a society full of British people who CONSTANTLY talked shit and they were like "yeah, not relevant"????????? i will forever be pissed

and fuck all those victorian assholes from the 1860s who talked shit about their "manners", their native language & who called the kids "half-breeds"

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i get a lot of my inspirations from either my own life or film scenes that stuck with me & i can't tell what this scene was inspired by but it felt so familar lmao:

' At the idea that the 25th was just days away, their tree not even up for the first time in two years and no decorations to be seen in their bleak quarters and entirely empty flat, Sirius felt the need to crawl into bed and never come out... at this rate, Harry wouldn't be there to wake up to on that morning to open the gifts they still had bought despite all this, truly hoping it would all be over by now.

It was officially the hardest Christmas since '81....

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Sirius whispered, his eyes slowly flicking around the street before them. "Even if most of this town is a cesspool." He added flatly.

Remus silently rubbed his shoulder.

"Yeah." He agreed in a whisper, looking out into the street as well. "It is." '

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A Mother's Day Post & Important Message To Future Doctors/Nurses (tw for mention of traumatic birth, i swear its a wholesome ending tho):

21 years ago, my mom gave birth to my youngest sister. It was supposed to be an easy c-section, just like it was with my first sister. She went in, trusted her team just as she had done twice by that point, but they forgot to fucking freeze her.

They performed it, ignoring her stating she wasn't frozen. Thankfully, they eventually fucking listened and pumped her full of morphine then froze her, but my sister was already gracing the world by this point. She went into shock, and im still confused as to how she made it.

My mom went under that procedure without a single medication- that is some medieval ass shit. I will never forget stepping into that hospital room to meet my sister: my mom's brown, and her skin was white as a fucking ghost. Somehow, by the insane strength she had, she survived. She then proceeded to find out my sister had been detached from the cord for two weeks straight and was dying, but my mom was relentless- she wasnt going to lose another. For weeks, she stayed awake praying and trying so damn hard to feed her. Her efforts worked, and my sister is now celebrating her 21st birthday & seeing the rugged coast of our island for the first time today.

To all future doctors/nurses & current ones:

Check your information. And double check it. And listen to your patient, especially one that's about to go under a surgery. Be vigilant, and aware, and if your superior is telling you you're wrong about something that you know you're right on- fight back. We place our lives with you, and you have a duty to uphold that trust.

I will forever be pissed at my mom's team for that huge fucking mistake. It is similar to how my mom entered the world, where they didn't believe my Gran was in labour and left the room for her to deliver her all by herself- while she was breach.

This also speaks to the strength of all mothers throughout the world in history and current times- women are strong as fuck, and so often that strength is astoundingly amazing.

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✨rating my fav/best written chaps of my series p.1

Chapter 25, "Remus's Breakdown"

“Remember what you told me?" He began sweetly. "We have him now, he’s safe, that’s all we need to-” Remus rapidly whipped his head up to him and proceeded to exude such wrenching guilt on his face that it made Sirius jolt his head back a little in surprise and swallow his words. “I know y-you blame me for that day.” Remus tumbled out shakily. “I can s-see it in your eyes when we talk of wishing w-we could have been there all those years… I can see it, Sirius- I fucking see it.” In one swift motion, Sirius’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion then loosened in grievous shock as he realized what Remus was talking about and he shook his head in a flurry with a hard look at him; they hadn’t spoken of that day since it happened. Instant tears made their way to his eyes then sparsely began down his cheeks.  “Don’t-” He choked a bit on a slight cry and bent his head closer to his with a sorrowful hiss. “Don’t you d-dare say that. I do not blame you-” Remus recoiled away from his arm and looked to the side as tears continued their course down his cheeks. He couldn’t take his comfort in that moment- he felt too guilty for it as that day flashed by his mind. Sirius didn't adhere to his recoiling, clearly wasn't going to stand for it as he put his finger firmly against his chin and forced him to look him in the eyes. “Remus-John-” He croaked so sternly and brokenly that it made Remus choke out an immediate cry in response- Sirius only used his full first name in the most serious of matters. “Don’t you dare fucking say that to me.”

💎bonus quotes:

' [memory scene] while Sirius gazed into him with what almost looked like fear at being handled so unkindly by him, Remus stared right into his teary and soft desperate grey eyes with a dangerous look in his own and resolutely informed him with a spitting, seething whisper that his fears were just fears - his hopes were just hopes and their dream was dead.  '

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Found this in my "7 years ago today" Snapchat memories and wanted to give a glimpse on the Teenage D(epression)ream Era i get all my inspo from for my series- its the adventures of 2017-2018 that gave me the idea for so many plot points of the original/rewrite/sequel✨️

i dont even need to block my face in this one bc i look so different from senior year it's insane lmao

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✒️𝕗𝚒𝚌 𝕌𝚙𝚍𝚊𝚝𝓮

🎉surprise: yall gonna get a new character (canon) entering the mix bc I've been DYINGGGG to put them in for years but never knew how

And I LOVE THEM SO MUCH👏🏼💞 IM SO EXCITED

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Small shoutout/promo to the app i now use for writing��️ ✒️Lite Writer

Monthly: $3 (CAD)

One-time purchase: $15 (CAD)

*most of these features are premium, but you can still use the free version*

((Ignoring the fact you get a rare glimpse of one of my drafts before the x3 editing rounds, there's quite a few features I'm loving here- mainly in premium, but I appreciated the allowance of a time-senstive trial so I could get a sense of what the app offers. This is the only app I've found that is similar to one I used to rely on in my early days of digital writing.)

👏🏼My favourite features so far (in order of photos):

•The ability for a background/theme- what makes it better is every book can have a different one (a godsend)

•The ability to add book covers

•In "side panel" there's a web shortcut which allows you to browse the web without leaving the app- which I find handy & am loving it for using my main thesaurus!! I was surprised at the fact they offered this lol, really going the extra mile it seems

•Web server- havent tweaked it yet, but to my understanding it's for transferring.

•Continuing the point above, I find it cool that it allows for transfer in txt or PDF if you dont wanna use the web server

•It allows backups- I'm not fully versed in how it works and it seems a little finicky, but its there along with the web server. It offers it by Google drive and a couple other accounts.

•Fonts✨️✨️- a BLESSING. Just upload whatever ones you want.

•Quite a basic feature, but the book allows chapter separation.

•It has TTS and is very basic, definitely not ElevenLabs quality, but they offer it + allow you to export the audio file, which is really cool.

There are so many other features I'm yet to learn & this app is definitely a work in progress, but I personally am getting my $15 worth. Their development team seems very involved from what I've seen, which is good. The last update was March of this year, and they offer tutorials in certain aspects. The only thing I can't figure out is fucking markdown lol- i literally can't find it. But that's my only issue, everything else is great & im so glad I found this!!!!

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totally forgot about this & found it in my folder... Gideon Adlon has brought my OC to life so well, and she is such a vibe in her various roles💖

I've tried to use other actors to embody my vision of Thalia, but its only Gideon I can imagine lol

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"it took our baby... it gave us you..."

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⚡️TW: FLASHING LIGHTS⚡️

I have a habit of writing my characters based off a mix of my favs within books/media- Thalia, my OC in my main series, holds so much inspiration from Effy Stonem from Skins & i just realized this when finding this edit in my library (my fav show at 14)

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I'll never forget when someone commented on my work that they "hated Thalia" (my OC) (and no shade if you see this lol) and I sat there, so fucking confused because i thought I made her motives/personality clear

I then ended up making an entire character sheet for her to give her more depth as I WANTED EVERYONE TO LOVE HER AS MUCH AS I DO

I am so fucking serious on the fact that i adore my complex, bitter bby potioneer😭 I LOVE HER SO MUCH