cyberlifeempathy

[cyberlifeempathy]

                     who    do    you    think    you    are?                                                   running    ‘round    leaving    scars,                                       collecting    your    jar    of    hearts,                                                                            tearing    love    apart. 

                                                   indie,     sel,     priv,     multi-muse.                                           penned    by    hail    who    loves    them    all.                                                                             Ⓒ

[cyberlifeempathy]

small little starter call while I work on getting my baby set back up??

[cyberlifeempathy]

Stranger  //  NEUTRAL

         A   quick   slip   by   from   the   men   posted   at   the   bridge   by   a   sloppy   forgery   from   his   old   buddy   granted   him   access   towards   the   building   itself.   Since   someone   let   it   slide   that   some   of   the   guards   aren’t   very   bright.   But,   he   was   sure   that   those   who   actually   worked   inside   the   building   wouldn’t   take   a   piece   of   paper   with   the   misleading   promise   of   his   appointment.   He   also   forgot   it   in   the   car.    ❝    Y-yeah,   I   have   an   appointment   with …    ❞    He    snaps   his   fingers   quickly.    ❝    I   forgot   his   name   but   I   do   have   an   appointment.    ❞    His   voice   is   small   but   his   words   are   quick.   The   lie   itself   was   really   bad   but   it’s   not   like   he   could   tell   her   that   he   was   planting   one   of   his   own   personal   chips   inside   so   that   he   could   get   passed   the   annoying   CyberLife   firewalls.    ❝    I’m   heading   inside,   yes.    ❞

Her eyebrows rose and the near rambling and apparent forgetfulness of the stranger. Most that got a chance to be inside were eager and remembered such things clearly though perhaps it could be chalked up to being FLUSTERED.  ❝   Well———   ❞ Joanna finally began as a small smile formed on delicate features,   ❝   If you can remember a name or at least where you’re headed, I can guide you before I go home? The receptionist android, she won’t be able to just let you upstairs without that information unless you want to be led by SECURITY instead.   ❞  Extra precautions, ever since the deviants had risen up with the rest of the company paranoid over every little thing leaving even Joanna walking on eggshells and tending to work later hours just so she had less chance of being discovered———   ❝   I would hate for you to be late to your meeting and I know the higher ups can be particularly strict with their time being wasted.   ❞  It wasn’t like she really had anyone waiting up for her at home.

[cyberlifeempathy]

Stranger  //  NEUTRAL

       He   took   the   tour   of   CyberLife   with   his   dad   when   it   first   opened.   After   they   bought   their   first   android.   Then,   he   was   happy   to   be   going.   Still   awkward   by   staying   close   to   his   dad   while   the   androids   explained   everything.   He   was   in   awe   back   then.   He   almost wanted a job there when he grew up. Now, as he’s matured, he walks   through   the   front   doors   only   to   be   greeted   by   someone   who   was   leaving.    ❝    U-uhm …    ❞    He   swallows.    ❝    This   is   the   front   entrance,   right?    ❞   /   @cyberlifeempathy  |  ♥’ed  for  ollie! 

The voice drew her attention from the tablet she had been working with, even after leaving the building. It wasn’t often they really had any VISITORS considering how heavily guarded the company was. Especially with the revolution——— and this certainly wasn’t a face she recognized. Had he been let through at the check point on the bridge? For a brief moment, eyes flicked towards said bridge before returning back to the man. It even took a moment for the woman to gather her words in the surprise.   ❝   Yes,    ❞  Joanna finally replied before finding something akin to a smile.   ❝   But unless you have an appointment, you aren’t going to get very far. Where are you headed inside?   ❞

[cyberlifeempathy]

feel free to change things  ( such as pronouns )  as needed !  music link

G U E S T   R O O M

“ i’m better off on my own ” “ i wish i never let you sleep in my bed ” “ i’ll never get over you ” “ i’m pretty sure that all of this was my fault ” “ you know how to make me feel all alone ” “ just fucking find another way to heal ” “ i’m sick of feeling so betrayed ” “ i thought i’d mean something to you ”

S A I N T S

“ your story isn’t adding up ” “ your religion is a lie ” “ why don’t you throw me to the wolves ? ” “ you’re not so innocent ” “ you’re standing here like an angry god ” “ you’re no saint  ,  you’re no savior ” “ you only follow rules if others follow with you ” “ that doesn’t sound so holy  ,  only playing victim ” “ keep your judgement for someone else ” “ i’ve had enough ”

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“ welcome to the room i hide in ” “ i’d invite you in but i’m trying to get out of here ” “ the windows know my pain  ,  they feel it ” “ get out of here ” “ you’re still ringing gin my empty head ” “ i can’t let go of you ” “ i don’t know why i can never leave ” “ all that i’m left with are memories ” “ i guess i want your ghost as my company ”

R E V I V A L

“ i’m afraid that i’ve gone vacant ” “ i don’t have time for your equations ” “ i swear i’ll try to save this ” “ i start to despise myself ” “ you say i put you through hell ” “ you never knew if you could feel the way that i do ” “ we aren’t gonna make it ” “ we’ve both been changing ” “ maybe we should find ourselves ”

V A C A N T

“ i’ve been waiting for you to get your mind right ” “ you’ve been running from yourself for a while ” “ you think that if you burn down you’ll be fine ” “ maybe i’d forget all the times you lied ” “ i hope that you choke on your vacant teeth ” “ i know that you’re empty ” “ you don’t even look the same with your brand new eyes ” “ you drained the light out of yourself and now you can’t see ”

E U P H O R I A

“ you talk a lot of shit for somebody who’s sorry now ” “ i’m a habit that you miss ” “ this is everything i wanna say  ,  but can’t say yet ” “ you’re looking for someone to blame ” “ i gave you all my blood ” “ i’m still waiting for your love ” “ thanks for calling me on my birthday to say i was wrong ” “ i hope you swallow me ”

G R A V E S

“ every time i see you i light up inside ” “ truth is casting shadows all over me ” “ you walk through your house like a ghost ” “ i hope you lie in your bed thinking of me ” “ there’s a hole inside my chest you can’t see ” “ my heads a burial ground of your memory ” “ you can take whats left with you ” “ i can’t keep holding on ”

[cyberlifeempathy]

small little starter call while I work on getting my baby set back up??

[cyberlifeempathy]

Xander  //  NEUTRAL

▌ ▲▐ ─────                    There was a moment of quiet which passed between them as that question set in, one which loomed and lingered like the weight of emotions left shaken since the previous evening. He was disappointed, knowing she still considered the potential of hostility from him in regards to the standoff between himself and Connor. Reflexively he wished to lower his eyes, look away from that deceptively darling face and not dwell on the loss of warmth that hand afforded him.

                   Did she think so little of him? Xander fought to keep his gaze on hers, refused to allow himself to relent for submission could be mistaken as falsehood in that moment. He was still so very unfamiliar with what it was to be human, yet somehow Xander managed to blur the lines between man and machine effortlessly. He pondered her meaning, perhaps to the point of overthinking. But it was think deep musing which helped his anxiety quell.

                   Joanna had every right to think of him as she pleased after his absolute BLUNDER of a self-imposed mission to defend her. The foolish android couldn’t be trusted to make his own decisions, though the woman’s concerns steered more towards last night’s short lived hostility. He supposed it made sense. Xander was an emotional thing, though a night of silent consideration had gained him understanding as to the reasons behind his predecessor’s actions.

                   He didn’t blame Connor; not anymore. After all, Joanna was safe and the other android had been damaged protecting her. Xander wished to express how her concerns were unwarranted, but such a cold response would not garner favorable results. He had to remind himself that HUMANS didn’t recover as quickly as an android could, as he and Connor had trained themselves to in order to curb the emotional instability that threatened to, at time, overtake their beings. Besides that, he felt she knew him far better than he let on, perhaps better at times than even Xander knew himself.

                   He, like a human, could be petty. He could hold onto grudges. He could express anger long after the emotion had dried up and he was responding to residual impulse as a means of vengeance. But not with Connor. His brother meant more than that.

                   The Lieutenant would have given him a rather colorful earful, as well. It was enough to whip the android into shape. He may have feared no man nor android, but a father’s disappointment weighed heavier on him than any MISSION FAILED statement he could ever receive.

                   After what seemed like a small eternity - but in reality was only a few short seconds - Xander replied. “I promise we won’t fight.” His words came with something of an awkward smile, one decidedly obvious that it was an attempt to mask his internalized regrets. It would seem that Xander had recognized just how wrong his aggressive display had been as he’d come to feel some sense of mortification over it. At least he knew SHAME. He shrugged. “Besides, I think it’s usually the older brother who’s meant to bully the younger.”

Of course Joanna was concerned he might lash out at the presence of the other android given how he had been the previous night. A machine filled with ANGER at the thought of someone he cared about put in danger, it surprised Joanna in the aftermath that she had been brave enough to step between them. It had just been an instinctive reaction to cease any hostility. Joanna had never really considered herself to be a BRAVE person and hardly thought the instances she had been warranted such a title. Merely her doing what she felt was RIGHT. Whether it was when she secretly worked against CyberLife or when she came up with the idea to go straight back to the company even when they were all too happy to have her dead and gone.

But the assurance that the hostility had subsided garnered a small breath of relief, lips forming a smile of her own in return to the android.  ❝   Good. It’s not as if I can always be there to keep you two from fighting. As for what siblings do, I can’t really say for sure. Only child and all that. But I think family dynamics varies from one to another.   ❞  Though the classic depiction of any family in television or films or even books were usually a variant of the same one. Some trope that not every family could fit into.

There was an idle moment, her eyes drifting towards the window in the awkwardness she found herself in. Other than the previous night, it had been quite some time since she had last truly spoken to the android outside of the BRUTAL assault. And even then, the previous night have been focused more on the events that had taken place rather than them as individuals. He still seemed to maintain that PROTECTIVE nature over her but whatever bond they had had back then still remained shattered for the time being. 

Words that once ran rather smoothly between them stopped dead in her throat. They could try to pretend they were the same though that could still have NEGATIVE consequences in the long run. To pretend that things hadn’t changed, that both were left damaged in more ways than one after everything had happened.

So, instead, the blonde woman decided to focus more on the task at hand rather than fall into old habits again. It felt safer that way until they could find a resting point to fully talk about it all. Now was hardly the time.   ❝   The others, have they said if they’ll be staying here? I’m sure CyberLife has knowledge of the security of this place after watching it for so long so I doubt it’s SAFE even for them. I know I probably won’t be able to stay much longer. Simon has actually suggested before returning to England but just running back home isn’t something I’d do.   ❞  

[cyberlifeempathy]

nearly 200 writing prompts // feel free to reblog

rfaimagining:

Angst:

1: “ Give me a chance. ” 2: “ Not you again.. ” 3: “ Leave me alone. ” 4: “ I don’t love you anymore. ” 5: “ Why do you hate me? ” 6: “ I lost the baby. ” 7: “ I thought you loved me. ” 8: “ I don’t need you anymore. ” 9:“ I can’t believe you! ” 10: “ We cant keep this up forever. ” 11: “ You’re a monster. ” 12: “ I hate you. ” 13: “ Don’t leave me… ” 14: “ You’re a disappointment. ” 15: “ Don’t die on me– Please. ” 16: “ I never meant to hurt you. ” 17: “ Are you upset with me? ” 18: “ I wish i’d never met you. ” 19: “ I’m going to kill you! ” 20: “ Please don’t hurt me like this. ” 21: “ Thanks for nothing. ” 22: “ Dont call this number again. “ 23: “ Why did you spare me? ” 24: “ You need to leave. ” 25: “ I’m sick. ” 26: “ I’m dying. ” 27: “ I wish i’d never met you. ” 28: “ I thought we were family!” 29: “ There was never an us. ” 30: “ So that’s it? It’s over? ” 31: “ I fucked up. ” 32: “ I came to say goodbye. ” 33:“ He’s dead because of you. ” 34: “ I don’t deserve to be loved. ” 35: “ About the baby… Its yours. ”

Love:

36: “ I’m so in love with you. ” 37: “ Dance with me! ” 38: “ Isn’t this amazing? ” 39: “ I wish we could stay like this forever. ” 40: “ Will you marry me? ” 41: “ I’m pregnant. ” 42: “ I need a hug. ” 43: “ You’re special to me. ” 44: “ I’m going to keep you safe. ” 45: “ Do you trust me? ” 46: “ Can I kiss you right now? ” 47: “ You’re cute when you’re angry. ” 48: “ I’ve liked you for awhile now. ” 49: “ Lets have a baby. ” 50: “ We’d make such a cute couple. ” 51: “ I want to take care of you. ” 52: “ Can we cuddle? ” 53: “ It’s lonely here without you. ” 54: “ I can’t stand the thought of loosing you. ” 55: “ Shut up and kiss me already. ” 56: “ Are you flirting with me? ” 57: “ Is that my shirt? ” 58: “ How did we get here? ” 59: “ You own my heart. ” 60: “ You’d be a great dad. ” 61: “ You’d be a great mom. ” 62: “ I want to protect you. ” 63: “ Whats the matter? ” 64: “ You’re so beautiful. ” 65: “ Did you do something different with your hair? ” 66: “ Is that a new perfume? ” 67: “ Stop being so cute. ” 68: “ You’re making me blush! ” 69: “ You’re teasing me again… ” 70: “ This is why I fell in love with you. ” 71: “ You’re the best! ” 72: “ They’re going to love you, don’t worry! ” 73: “ Oh, Are you ticklish? ” 74: “ Of course I remembered! ” 75: “ You’re one hell of a girl. ” 76: “ You’re one hell of a guy. ” 77: “ Are you jealous? ” 78: “ Hold me and never let me go. ” 79: “ Stop hogging all the blankets! ” 80: “ Lets run away together. ”

General:

90: “ Catch me if you can! ” 91: “ I’m fine. ” 92: “ Are you drunk? ” 93: “ Are you high? ” 94: “ We cant go in there… ” 95: “ Give it back! ” 96: “ Well this is just great. ” 97: “ Don’t touch me. ” 98: “ Not sure if you could tell, but I’m not exactly a people person. ” 99: “ This was fun— Lets do it again sometime!” 100: “ I didn’t do it! ” 101: “ I did it… ” 102: “ I don’t remember that! ” 103: “ Well that’s pretty rude of you to say. ” 104: “ Get that thing away from me! ” 105: “ You owe me. ” 106: “ Do you believe in aliens? ” 107: “ Do you believe in ghosts? ” 108: “ Are you hitting on me? ” 109: “ Why are you naked? ” 110: “ You did what?! ” 111: “ You have… Superpowers? ” 112: “ Why are you bleeding? ” 113: “ Where did all these puppies come from?” 114: “ Don’t make me come over there myself! ” 115: “ That wasn’t funny. ” 116: “ This tastes horrible. ” 117: “ This is delicious! ” 118: “ Are you mad at me? ” 119: “ Stop ignoring me… ” 120: “ I love that show too! ” 121: “ Can I borrow that book of yours?” 122: “ Lets blow this joint. ” 123: “ Let me help you with that. ” 124: “ Take that back! ” 125: “ Wanna go see a movie with me? ” 126: “ No way, that’s so lame. ” 127: “ What are you listening to? ” 128: “ I brought you your coffee. ” 129: “ Don’t fuck this up. ” 130: “ Run! ” 131: “ Lets run away together. ” 132: “ I haven’t slept in four days… ” 133: “ Your turn to do the dishes. ” 134: “ Was I really that drunk? ” 135: “ Was I really that stoned? ” 136: “Give me back my phone! ” 137: “ You’re an asshole. ” 138: “ Are you cold? ” 139: “ This place gives me the creeps. ” 140: “ I swear my house is haunted. ” 141: “ Did you hear that? ” 142: “ It’s just your imagination. ” 143: “ Just how stupid do you think I am? ” 144: “ Stop being such a baby. ” 145: “ Go back to bed. ” 146: “ Are you okay? ” 147: “ I can take care of myself just fine.” 148: “ Thanks for helping me back there. ” 149: “ Since when have we ever been friends? ” 150: “ What on earth are you wearing? ” 151: “ I can’t feel my legs! ” 152: “ Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. ” 153: “ Put me down! ” 154: “ There’s only one bed… ” 155: “ It isn’t what it looks like! Okay.. Maybe it is… ” 156: “ How did I loose it? ” 157: “ I read your diary. ” 158: “ This is awkward. ” 159: “ Didn’t you read the sign? ” 160: “ Do you think you can teach me that? ”

Below is NSFW prompts. Please if you’re rebloggling tell your followers if you’re interested or not in taking these sorts of requests.

Sexual: 161: “ Bite me. ” 162: “ Make me. ” 163: “ Fuck me. ” 164: “ Stop teasing me so much… ” 165: “ Do you like it when I touch you like that?” 166: “ Okay.. This is new. ” 167: “ Want to head back to my place and have a little fun? ” 168: “ You’re in trouble now. ” 169: “ What a pretty sight. ” 170: “ Bend over. ” 171: “ On your knees. ” 172: “ The food looks great but.. There’s something much more delicious i’d like to eat right now. ” 173: “ Lay back. ” 174: “ Take off your clothes. ” 175: “ Well, fine; just this once. ” 176: “ I’m waiting. ” 177: “ You’re so beautiful. ” 178:“ As you wish. ” 179: “ First one to make a noise looses.” 180: “ You have no idea what you do to me. ” 181: “ If you’re bored; Wanna have sex? ” 182: “ Ive wanted this for so long. ” 183: “ Car sex looks so much more easier in the movies. ” 184: “ Can I touch you? ” 185: “ Open up. ” 186: “ No strings attached. ” 187: “ Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? ” 188: “ Mine. ” 189: “ The nights still young. ” 190: “ We cant do that here! ” 191: “ Behave. ” 192:“ What did you just say? ” 193: “ Good girl. ” 194: “ Good boy. ” 195: “ Come here. ”

[cyberlifeempathy]

Peaky Blinders Season 2 Starters

“Today, it’ll be me dead or you.” “Do you want to fuck me?” “Nearly got fucking everything!” “How does that fucking feel?” “You’ve been chosen.” “I have men in places your men can’t go.” “Straighten up, soldier!” “We had a fucking deal.” “I hadn’t spent a day without thinking about you.” “Do you have someone?” “You think your people are ruthless? Try mine.” “You like to play with fire.” “We had to stand our ground and we did.” “This city’s gone mad.” “But the thing is, I love you, not him.” “I came here to tell you we have to stop.” “You will need to contain your emotions or this meeting is at an end.” “But I will win you.” “Today, I’m going to kill a man.” “You don’t even fight me anymore.” “Be on your fucking way.” “Whatever happens today, it was good.” “Today, it’ll be me dead or you but whoever it is, he’ll wake up in hell tomorrow.” “Do as you’re told.” “You stay with us but you stay back.” “There’s business and then there’s love.” “I want to feel alive.” “We’re kings! Kings of the fucking world!” “There’s a woman. A woman who I love and I got close.” “I want to make real money with you.” “I’m planning on getting married.” “Pulling the gun is why I can’t tell you.” “Sometimes when I think how I used to be, it makes me embarrassed.” “Soon you’re gonna have to start being the man with the answers.” “In all the world, violent men are the easiest to deal with.” “You are one decision away from death.” “I think there’s a few things we need to get straight between us.” “When it comes to it, you don’t listen to a word we say.” “Those of you who are last shall soon be first. And those of you who are downtrodden will rise up.” “You are a stranger to cocaine and exotic dancing, too, I would imagine.” “You picked a side, now you’re at war.” “We join forces.” “I’m already dead.” “Put the fucking gun away.” “Just talk to her. No one can get through to her.” “Let’s have a look then, eh?” “I bet you’re glad to be back.” “All I remember is the day they took me away.” “It’s not alright. People get hurt.” “It’s men like you we’re fighting.” “Who broke the fucking mirror? Seven years bad luck, that is.” “So in the absence of common sense, you’ve had an idea.” “I’m not accustomed to being spoken to like that.”

[cyberlifeempathy]

Xander  //  NEUTRAL

▌ ▲▐ ─────                    Of course Xander had been aware that Joanna had stirred from her rest long before she walked through the door. The subtle sounds of movement in the bedroom had served as a comfort for him, yet another element which brought him into a state of relaxation. So it was when Joanna did emerge into the hallway she found the android at peace, thoughtfully musing over the book in hand. He had noted her approach, yet he did not immediately respond, instead allowing the woman to come to him if she so desired, or retreat downstairs to greet the others or perhaps obtain some form of sustenance. She was surely famished, after all.

                   But when that delicate hand came to rest upon his shoulder Xander was almost startled. A sensation he had not felt in far too long; her touch, gentle and warm as always. He turned his head to look her way and without realizing a subtle smile warmed his placid features.

                   Looking upon her then, Xander was reminded of Dante, of his precious Beatrice whom he had viewed as GOODNESS within him for his fondness of her dispelled his DARKNESS. The rays of the late morning sun caught in her still damp hair, setting the hue of it alight so it appeared as spun gold. Her skin was still soft and flushed from the heat of her shower and the color brightened her gentle expression. It was enough so that Xander felt himself momentarily captivated.

                   Truly Joanna was she whom had tasted the forbidden fruit of Eden for she was wisdom and patience personified. Endlessly she tempted him and blindly the android savored the taste of what should be forbidden of him, unapologetic.

                   “I wanted to stay and make sure you were safe.” His tone was hush so as not to break the calm which had lingered between them. He wanted this to last - this closeness - for as long as it could, for it gave him hope. Though she had no reason to forgive, he dared WANT.

                   The book in question was shut and the cover tilted her way. It was an old copy, leather-bound and well loved. Carl Manfred must have mused over it’s contents regularly. “Paradise Lost; it’s an insightful read,” Xander offered. It was clear his own curiosity had gotten the better of him. If nothing else he seemed utterly fascinated with the book. “I can’t help but wonder what sort of mindset the author was experiencing when writing this.” Where Milton had been in that point in his life, what inspired him. Was it normal for an android to think of such things? Perhaps not, but then, it didn’t really matter.

                   Androids, like people, were all strange and unique in their own ways. Xander was no exception. Rather he was one which proved the rule. The book was set aside, left to be tended to later. For now, Joanna had his full attention. “How did you sleep?”

❝   I’m sure the others are more than capable of ensuring my safety. You still need r———   ❞  Oh, but it wasn’t necessary for an android to SLEEP. Something she often forgot in the company of them and especially with Xander. When had the line become so blurred for her? The line between a human and an android and all the differences between them? Even when she had first started betraying the company, she had been well aware of that line. Now she disliked even THINKING of it. That she and the one beneath her palm weren’t entirely the same though they could both feel and think for themselves, there were stark differences. 

And that reminder caused her hand to pull away from his shoulder, both clasped in front of her instead.

Her attention turned to the book and was grateful for a different subject even for a moment. It wasn’t one she had read before despite her love of literature. So whatever contents were written on the pages and what had captivated Xander was lost on the woman.  It seemed like ages ago since she had actually picked up a book even with the expansive collection within the estate. Interest had been lost in most things since her true passion of working at CyberLife had been ripped from her despite it being due to her own actions.   ❝   I haven’t read but maybe one day, I’ll look over it. Though I don’t think there’ll be much down time for a while.   ❞

Not since the previous night. Not since the blow dealt against CyberLife. Despite the warm glow of the sun, there was quite the dark cloud looming overhead. No doubt they were already plotting on how to end things once and for all. Whatever plans they had had while Xander and Connor were still linked to the company had been ruined and humans could be quite VIOLENT when plans had been destroyed. How long until they acted on it? Their revenge for hard work destroyed. Joanna dreaded to think what might come next but it certainly wouldn’t be an EASY road from here on out. 

Even the estate, meant to provide SAFETY for all within had been compromised. Would Markus and the others even stay or would they be forced to find a new place as well now that CyberLife certainly had plenty of information on it? All due to her own arrival.

❝   I’m assuming Connor will be here to talk about what happened last night. He and I can work on where to go to next.   ❞  Though whether Xander would be included or perhaps if he should be was unknown. He hadn’t been involved in the current events and perhaps best to keep him out of it.   ❝   You will behave, won’t you? We don’t need any FIGHTING going on.   ❞

[cyberlifeempathy]

Elijah  //  ADMIRED

[[ @cyberlifeempathy ]]

     He sputtered, a hard shiver rolling through him as he hung over the pristine bowl of the toilet. He pried himself away, wiping his mouth as he tried to swallow back bile. He groaned picked himself up off the hard, cold floor. He hadn’t bothered to turn on the heat for the tile. 

     He pinched the bridge of the nose, vision blurred before he realized it was blurred because he wasn’t wearing his glasses. Fingers ran through his hair, loose and sticking to his face. He wiped what he could, but his hair stayed a mess. 

     Over the sink he cupped water from the facet, leaning down to catch it in his mouth, spitting out the sour taste and dry heaving, catching himself on the edge of the sink. He drank water from his hand, feeling like a sick dog at best (and worthless, wasted time at worst). 

     Elijah heard the door buzz and he flinched. 

     He heard the buzzer again, covering his eyes (it didn’t matter if it didn’t make sense, the sound hurt). He made his way out of the bathroom, stumbling out. He made his way carefully to the entrance room — and specifically without Chloe’s help (bless her, but he put her to temporary sleep, refusing her fussing over him).

     Taking up his bottle, he looked down the neck finding nothing. He slammed the bottle down harder than he meant to, fixing the sleeve of his robe that would fall back down anyway. He pressed his palm to the wall, opening the door. The dark under his eyes were heavy and he swallows again. 

          “Yess…?” 

     His voice slurs even the simplest word, drawling it out, and from it he became out of breath. 

She was a couple of days early for their first little meeting at his private residence. Joanna was well aware of that but the seemingly growing concerns of CyberLife about their latest model, the one meant to HUNT deviants, becoming one had caused concerns of her own to bloom. Things were escalating and one wrong move could bring it all toppling down. A shattered revolution; DEFEAT. Surely it was enough to warrant a sooner visit before things took a turn for the worst and Joanna hardly thought anything of it. It was better than waiting, unsure of the consequences that might come from doing nothing.

What the woman hardly expected was to find the man in such a DISHEVELED state as well as the sudden smell of alcohol that caused her to actually take a step back. It was a far cry from the man she had come to know during their brief exchanges. A man put together, wrapped in quite the puzzle. Now slurring a simple GREETING. Joanna couldn’t help but wonder if this was who he was behind closed door, safe in the privacy of his secluded home.

❝   Mr. Kamski———   ❞  Joanna almost found herself at a loss for words. Bright eyes looked him up and down, finding a slight discomfort in his current state. Was one of the Chloe models taking care of him? Joanna was well aware of the effects alcohol could have even on a BRILLIANT mind like his and why she abstained from such ‘pleasures’

A moment, the woman clearing her throat as her gaze met his once more.   ❝   I didn’t mean to intrude. There’s been happenings at Cyberlife.   ❞  Coming here to talk about such things now descending into CONCERN for the state she had unintentionally found him in as her words began to trail off. It was an unsettling image to see. A man she had admired for so long acting as any other human might once inhibited by ethanol. How much had he even had?   ❝   I thought I should inform you——— are you OKAY, sir?   ❞

[cyberlifeempathy]

Xander  //  NEUTRAL  //  ▲ ▲

@cyberlifeempathy

▌ ▲▐ ─────                    Morning dawned over the city of Detroit, bathing it in gentle ambers and reds. A hush had come over the Manfred estate following the return of the triumphant deviants, pleased with their efforts made for the sake of those wishing to break free of CyberLife’s hold. A rowdy bunch, filled with determination and pride, they had been shushed by the one who stood guard over the human residing upstairs. Markus had been surprised to find Xander where Connor should have been, though not displeased by the turn of events. The RK900 was just as welcome as his predecessor and the information exchanged was of vital importance.

                   So it was as Joanna had expected; CyberLife continued to use their most advanced androids to monitor the group and gain intel into their organization. One could only surmise the damage done, what all they had learned through Connor’s eyes and ears. North had been angry, or course, lashing out at the RK model in her emotional outburst. It was quelled soon enough, though emotions did run high for a time.

                   Xander never allowed those turbulent feelings to escalate into a fight, far more concerned for Joanna than himself. She needed rest, to collect her thoughts and recover her energy. He was not ignorant to the plight of Jericho in learning the news that without ever meaning to they had invited an unwitting S P Y into their ranks. It was simply that he did not care. Xander’s priorities did not involve Markus or his people. They involved only a single person. Nothing would change that fact.

                   Calm finally came to the home as sun peeked over the horizon, and it found Xander where he had retreated once the group had gone their separate ways. The android sat in one of the small chairs by the tall window at the far side of the upstairs hall. A book in hand, he flipped idly through pages as his eyes skimmed the information there, occasionally glancing up to enjoy the subtle changes light brought to the outside world as it came to life.

                   He could hear birds chirping in the trees in the yard, fluttering about to search for worms to feed their young. People began to emerge from their homes as the light drew higher into the sky. Some out for a morning jog, some to commute to work. Sprinklers set to work on automatic timers, dogs barked. Children ushered out to school by flustered parents still dressed in their bed clothes, clutching their thermos’ of coffee as they went like it was a lifeline. Downstairs he could hear the television playing in the living room, a news story recapping the events of the evening at CyberLife’s manufacturing facility.

                   All of it felt so domestic, peaceful. Xander found he enjoyed the lull of it, for this atmosphere was so decidedly out of his normal perception that the mundane aspect of it felt new and exciting. Absently the android wondered if this was what being human was like, and his gaze returned to the book in hand.

                                                         Which way I fly is HELL; myself am Hell;                                                          And in the lowest deep a lower deep,                                                          Still threat’ning to devour me, opens wide,                                                          To which the Hell I suffer seems a HEAVEN.

                                                         O, then, at last relent! There is no place                                                          Left for repentance, no pardon left?

                   It was a beautiful poem, one Xander felt some kind of draw to. Faintly he smiled as each passing text seemed to resonate something within him. Joanna would soon wake. He would like to share it with her, but there were more pressing matters at hand. Another time, then. Perhaps he would ask Markus if he could borrow the book.

Sleep had come almost immediately for the woman with a body far too EXHAUSTED to carry on much longer. Even remaining as long as she had in the entrance way with Xander had continually added towards the weariness from running and the aftermath of adrenaline from the constant gunfire. Collapsing onto the bed had granted her momentary relief from both the ACHING in her body that had begun to set in as well as relief from a racing mind. With all the events that had taken place within a day, it was a MIRACLE Joanna was even able to quell them long enough to get some rest. The concern and fear of how much CyberLife had known, what they had planned, it was near suffocating so a part of her was thankful that the sleep she descended into was a dreamless one. Dark and peaceful, free of the racing thoughts that plagued her.

Of course, when she finally awoke to the faint glow, most blocked out by the heavy curtains, there was an ache in her very BONES from the overexertion. It seemed every part ached in her body and after sitting up, it took a moment to steady herself on shaky legs though they were quick to subside. The muffled sounds of voices, the television she figured as it wasn’t the voice of one of the androids that she recognized, but the rest seemed almost EERILY peaceful. After the events of the previous night, it was such a sharp contrast to the chaos they had found and caused in the night that it took a moment to adjust to.

The calm before the storm. It certainly wouldn’t be long before CyberLife retaliated due to the blow they had made. Losing their connection to the RK units was surely detrimental to the company.

Showering and getting dressed rather quickly, bare feet soon stepped over the threshold of the room provided to her and oceanic eyes were quick to find the familiar android. It gave her a brief pause though not out of FEAR. Merely how it occurred to her how she had never really seen him so peaceful and stilled before. They had spoken quietly before, in the safety of her own flat, but never seen him so silent, looking over anything without the fear of being discovered plaguing either of them. The company knew and would surely come after both as well as the androids down below but it was a quiet reprieve albeit a STRANGE one. 

Finally she was moving again, drawing closer to the android before a hand reached out to rest on his shoulder. The first time she had even TOUCHED him save for her own outburst since he had almost killed her. Though issues would probably continue to plague whatever lay between them, at least she no longer had that paranoia that CyberLife would seize control once again and eliminate her. Not through him at least. That connection was DESTROYED once and for all. Fingers gently curling over the broad shoulder, her gaze was more on the book in hand.   ❝   Must be quite a good book to hold your attention so well.   ❞  A small tease, a ghost of a smile crossing her lips though one that belayed how TIRED she still was from everything that had happened.   ❝   Have you been here all night?  You could have gone home, you know.   ❞

[cyberlifeempathy]

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[cyberlifeempathy]

Xander  //  BETRAYED  //  ▲

▌ ▲▐ ─────                    Brows knitted softly as a certain feeling of emptiness settled into his frame, burying itself deep. Joanna’s refusal pained him as much as any rejection of hers had, and though Xander’s frustration built it did not truly come to a head. It ebbed and flowed like waves upon a shore and his mind conjured little anymore. There had only been one real desire within him since he had made that brave and terrifying leap into deviancy, breaking free of his code to protect his own predecessor from himself and the desires of their creators.

                   He wanted to protect Connor, yes. Xander wished to use his advancements over the other android to protect all those closest to them, but this wasn’t his most fundamental want. This wish was something buried to the root of him, something cemented so strongly that it became part of his prime directive.

                   ┌                            PROTECT JOANNA MYRRIAM                                                                                      ┘

                   No, not merely protect her. Joanna was not some naive woman to be shielded. She didn’t NEED protection. She needed support, as did he. Joanna needed someone to stand by her side, to encourage her, challenge her. Xander wanted to be that. He wanted to be with her.

                   Thinking this way, he could not be merely machine. Machines didn’t want affection, companionship.

                   Something stirred within him, a feeling not experienced for so long that for a moment the android did not recognize it. It was small, subtle, yet with the faintest shift in the rhythm of his Thirium pump’s beating familiarity came to him once more. Not unlike their quiet moment within her small apartment, when tired smiles and teasing words were enjoyed between them.

                   Not unlike the barely there smile which ghosted over his visage no more than a tick, naught but a twitch at the corner of his lips which left the android far more peaceful. What he wanted to do - the choice was simple so long as he reflected on his own desires. What he wanted, what he had always wanted.

                   Xander looked at her then as his posture straightened. A moment’s pause, eyes hopeful in their gaze. “I want to stay with you.” His words were not remarkable, save for the context, the emotion behind them. This was what he really wanted. “If you don’t want me…then I understand.” She had no reason to want him, not after what he had done. Even so, there was a sliver of hope. “All I want is to see you safe and know that you’re happy.” Statistically speaking, there was always the chance for unlikely events to take place.

Eyes that had been focused on the tile floor looked up once he spoke again.To stay with her? Hadn’t he already asked to? Though she was hardly in any state to entertain company considering she should have retired to the bedroom long ago. It just seemed right to at least fill him in first considering Joanna wasn’t sure if he’d be a part of what was to come next. All the planning for a new safe house for her, especially considering CyberLife would be far from HAPPY about being broken in to and losing their possible control over Connor and Xander. Her only stipulation had been that he hadn’t told Connor to leave during their silent exchange and he had denied that.

❝   I already said you could stay here. If I wanted you to leave, then I would have told you already. Though I’m still not entirely sure when Markus and the others will be getting back.   ❞  They didn’t seem to have an issue with the RK900  or not that she had seen so if he wanted to, then he could stay past their arrival. Though what reason he might want to, she wasn’t sure unless it was to talk further about what happened that night on their end.

The group and Xander didn’t exactly ring the bell of ‘close friends’ or anything. Not like with Connor.

Though did he mean to only take it one day at a time? By him having free will, she hardly meant that he could choose what he wanted for just ONE night. And when she finally did pass out, it surely wouldn’t be very interesting to stand around an empty house whether it was just to guard her. Surely the company wasn’t FOOLISH enough to attack on the same night especially if they were aware that usually at least one other android occupied the home when she was there. Only in rare circumstances when the group was busy was Joanna actually left alone in the estate.

❝   But I don’t just mean tonight, Xander. You can do whatever you want for the rest of your life. Do anything, go anywhere. It’s quite a large world out there, you realize. Doesn’t just have to mean this estate of even Detroit as a whole. Though you still have plenty of time to fiugre it out. Androids have quite a long life span without assistance from others, after all.   ❞

[cyberlifeempathy]

Xander  //  BETRAYED

▌ ▲▐ ─────                    It was a long time before the android spoke again, too deeply lost in his own musings. His mind wandered as it had so many nights, when he was left alone with nothing to distract him. Even when he had come to stay with the Lieutenant and his predecessor, intrusive thoughts had persisted. ‘Why’s and ‘what for’s, and far too many ‘what if’s. When CyberLife had given him the assassination order, had he not sought Joanna out, instead trusting Connor with her safety, things could have been different. If he had chosen to save her, run away, she would have been spared the traumatic experience and he the nightmarish visions which never truly left his head.

                   So many different scenarios, thousands of preconstructions, yet Xander had chosen a single one based on probability of success. He had chosen statistics over what his emotions told him, like a MACHINE. Reflecting upon it now, upon Joanna’s words when last they had met, Xander felt hard pressed to see himself as anything but just that. How could he be something living if he could choose to be so cruel in order to be kind?

                   Xander never spoke of that night, but the memories of it haunted him. Visions of the petite blonde writhing beneath his hand, her face contorted in terror as she was starved for oxygen. As the android she had come to view as something almost human betrayed her without an ounce of displayed remorse.

                   And now they were out of options. Connor had risked his life this night, as had she, for a gamble at freedom. But that freedom tasted bittersweet as it left the lot of them wanting. Finally Xander straightened minutely, his head rose to look at her. He seemed so broken in that moment, a puppet who’s strings had been cut. Unable to stand, to to speak. Not alive. He was not living, yet his eyes were needy. They plead when he could not.

                   “…Tell me what to do.” An order, a command. Anything. He needed guidance for he saw the error of his own flawed logic. The news of being used even when he sought to protect had been devastating. That was clear to see, now, for there was such remorse in those stormy grey depths. But beyond that, the experience had left the young deviant shaken to his core. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” Xander had never been more lost than he was now. His gaze lowered as emotion bled slowly into his features, a pained expression overtaking that softly freckled visage. “…I guess I never did.”

                   Only a tool to be used. Just a machine after all.

The request was a strange one, her lips parting to speak but unable to find any words. Quite possibly the only time she had ever given an outright ORDER was in her own moments of frustration when he displayed all the mechanics of a machine rather than a person though she would do the same towards a human on the verge of murder as he had before. Other than that, she refrained from such things as it made her feel no better than CyberLife itself. Using androids for their own benefit even when they showed signs of feeling and thinking for themselves. More requests that she would offer any other HUMAN as she often treated them as one and the same. Surely he knew that despite his request.

Finally, Joanna gave a small shake of her head, loose blonde locks swaying with the simple motion. It was hardly her place and though she couldn’t begin to understand how an android might feel so LOST, she was also well aware it wasn’t up to her to make such decisions.  ❝   I won’t do that. You should know that by now, Xander.   ❞  Guidance was one thing but it was only towards what an android might want for themselves, not what she might want. That was far too SELFISH for her own tastes.

Though her reckless actions of the night could also be called selfish given how much damage Connor had taken for her.

❝   You’re supposed to do whatever you want. Anything, at least within the laws hopefully. It’s called free will and you have it now.   ❞  Was that so bad of a thing? Then again, he was made to take orders and now he had none from the very company that had created him. What happened next was wholly up to him rather than anyone else. There could be outside influence but she would much rather see someone grow into their OWN person rather than anything else. For better or worse, it was better left that way.

There were no more limits in place and CyberLife had certainly lost him. He didn’t have to be their shining example of what an android was meant to be, no longer has to serve them and bring the public back to their side. Though there was a multitude of options for him now, perhaps OVERWHELMINGLY so.   ❝   You could keep working with the DPD or you could even just leave Detroit altogether, go and do whatever you’d like. Or even return to CyberLife if that’s some sort of wish you have. It’s all up to you and I won’t tell you what to do or stop you. I’m not that type.   ❞  Not like the others she had worked alongside.

[cyberlifeempathy]

Xander  //  BETRAYED

▌ ▲▐ ─────                    As Joanna spoke to him Xander remained silent. He did not seek to interject, to so much as question the woman, due in part to fears of whatever raw feelings still lingered between them. But beyond that, it was a show of that ever present empathetic nature she had coaxed from him months before. From the moment they had met she had recognized it, guided him to an acceptance of it. It still remained, for as upset as the android had been over her secret mission to infiltrate CyberLife and put her own life at risk, he set aside all anger, forgoing his fierce protectiveness over her to simply listen.

                   She looked so tired now, completely exhausted in body and mind. Joanna needed to speak, to get whatever she wished to say out into the open. She deserved that much. She deserved far more than that.

                   But to hear that her life was still in danger, that the actions taken by himself and Connor to protect this precious person had been in vain, Xander utterly shut down. There were no words, no expression at all. He did not shout, didn’t cry as he had before. There was just nothing. Only a calm as realization washed over him. Eyes so bright and full of turbulent emotions seemed almost hollow now and for an instance it seemed as though he had gone offline. Completely still, Xander’s LED spun yellow as he processed this monumental revelation.

                   All of it had been for nothing.

                   His deception towards CyberLife, all the meticulous planning, all the care they had taken. POINTLESS. He had endangered Joanna’s life, nearly killed her for nothing. His gaze lowered and finally there was movement. Hands drew together, folding as shoulders hunched. His back gently arched, elbows resting propped on his knees, Xander hung his head. Defeated. What was he supposed to do now? When the one person he so desperately wanted to protect was left damaged by his actions and still remained in peril? How could he hope to rectify this? Salvage it? Could he? Truly, he didn’t know.

She expected some sort of comment from him, to share his thoughts on the newfound information. Instead, he had become silent and it was almost reminiscent of the person she had first met. Few words, drawing himself into quiet contemplation. Was he like that with Connor, she wondered. Or was he a bit more OPEN given their ability to speak through their shared connection. It was far more private than speaking aloud and easier to transfer data between the two. Just like he had shared the memory of him choking her with Connor.

But still, how long had they been watching? Had they known about her closeness to the android? Their private moments together, even when she had SAVED him from deactivating? Surely they had had some idea of what was transpiring between them. And still they gave the mission to the android anyways when they would have, SHOULD have known.  ❝   They gave you a mission they knew you would fail.   ❞  For what purpose? To TEST him and his loyalty to them? To drive them apart? Or perhaps to gain more information themselves. After all, now they knew where Markus and the others stayed.

Doomed to fail right from the start. Similar to how they had planned for Connor to become deviant in the first place. How they loved to PLAY with their creations as if they were no more than dolls or perhaps puppet was a better term. Give them purpose, a mission, only to watch them fail it for their own gain whatever it might be. A sick and twisted game and one of the reasons she had pulled away from their ideology of androids being nothing more than TOOLS. Just things for them to use rather than people. Even if they were just that, it hardly made it all right.

❝   It isn’t your fault for failing to trick them. You couldn’t have known. We can’t even be sure what they hoped to GAIN from giving you the mission in the first place. They could have just as easily activated another RK900 unit free of deviancy and given the orders to that one like the Connor sixty unit.   ❞  But they hadn’t, instead relying on Xander even though if they had full knowledge of his actions, they would have known he had broken away from his initial programming. No loyal android would sit back and watch a woman DEFY them so.

Joanna had an understanding that he had done what he believed to be best though it hardly meant he was entirely absolved of his actions. A hint of forgiveness and yet still some caution. He was truly FREE now but given the constant reminder from her nightmares about what had happened, it was hardly easy to entirely forget it all. Still, she was glad to see him. Unspoken but rather than the anger that had overtaken her on their last visit, cerulean eyes were instead soft like she had viewed him with before the descent into hell.

[cyberlifeempathy]

Xander  //  BETRAYED

▌ ▲▐ ─────                    There was an instance where Xander stood stock still in surprise at just how intuitive Joanna could be. She had been perfectly aware that he and Connor had been speaking, though he was grateful she did not know of the context. The accusation did come as a mild offense, though the android imagined it would be far worse if Joanna knew that he had essentially hinted at murder. He did not seek to correct her, only to deny what she assumed was truth.

                   “No, I…”Grey eyes lowered, his gaze falling askance. Truly things had changed between them. It was something that was only felt in full measure now that they were alone. No distractions, no clue when the home would be filled again with the presences of others and their voices. Just he and the woman who had every right to despise him. The woman he cared for more than any save his own kin, if Connor could be called that.

                   Perhaps Xander favored her even more than he.

                   It was a long moment before he spoke again, before he braved a glance her way. Joanna looked so tired then, even in her wariness of him. Especially as she looked at him. Again, Xander fought the compulsion to move closer, to embrace. Slowly he shifted towards the sofa pushed against the wall beneath the stairwell.

                   “I’ll stay down here…” he offered as he lowered himself to sit, mindful of the giant painting at his back. Those stormy eyes so full of concern held a quiet, subtle anxiousness as they rest upon the woman’s form. As before they asked for acceptance, for forgiveness, yet his lips never did. Perhaps in this Xander proved that he felt he did not truly deserve either.

                   “You don’t have to worry. I’ll remain until Markus and the others return.” Keep watch over her like a faithful guard dog, only to vanish into the night once his presence was no longer necessary.

❝   Is that what you think I want? Some big guard just waiting at the front door?   ❞  Truth be told, she was becoming so sick of the constant protection around her, someone always watching and ready to defend, only serving to amplify that feeling of USELESSNESS she had come to feel. If he was going to stay then surely there were better things to do and perhaps best to talk about what had been discovered in their little mission within CyberLife. Perhaps it would at least ease any resentment he still held towards Connor that might be acted upon one he left as well.   ❝   If you’re going to stay here until the others return, there are some things we should probably talk about anyways.   ❞

With the home compromised, it wasn’t as if she could stay there much longer. Perhaps just one more night but she didn’t assume there to be many safe places to keep a human hidden. More planning had to be done, and perhaps have to even be more cautious given the actions they had taken.

Whether the talks of movement would include Xander, she couldn’t be sure but it wasn’t right to keep him completely in the dark. After all, he had committed awful acts to keep her safe though they had been entirely in vain. Surely CyberLife had known right from the start that she continued to live, monitoring it through the eyes of the RK models. Scars left on both she and Xander and it had only granted them a MOMENT. It would have only been a matter of time before they tried to kill her once again and perhaps even more reason given how she stayed with the leader of the revolution.

❝   I’m sure Connor will be back tomorrow to talk about things. It isn’t really SAFE for me to be here anymore. Maybe Markus can help with his connections but, in truth, I was never safe here to begin with. We gained information at CyberLife that turned out to be pretty important.   ❞  Joanna shifted slightly to lean again the table in the hall for more balance, some sort of SUPPORT.   ❝   They were using the connection from the zen garden to monitor yours and Connor’s actions. They probably knew where I was the entire time, that I wasn’t DEAD. And then it was probably only a matter of time before they resumed control of both of your functions again. Now, with it severed, they can’t. It’s a terminated program.   ❞