cychas

[cychas]

hate an x reader fic do not put me in a situation

[cychas]

MORE INTER-TEAM RELATIONSHIPS I THINK ABOUT A LOT

medic/sniper: sniper greatly, greatly prefers this doctor over his own. fritz is a quiet man, a professional. they are almost twins when they interact with each other. and they rarely get to interact with each other. only when herbert is gone and his counterpart stops in to care for the birds does sniper decide to poke his head into the infirmary. sniper has noted that fritz is intense in his own way, and he shines in battle. but off the field, he seems so mild. and he never seems to smile. or laugh. but he almost doesn’t want him to, either. it would make them too similar. he likes how different they are!

soldier/demo: sit with me while i paint this picture. it is the sixth grade. you are struggling to come to terms with the fact that when you are with your best friend in the entire world, you feel so… fuzzy. you really, really like them! they’re pretty, and they’re so funny, and they’re a true light in your life. you really like them. like, “you don’t want them to have other friends” like them. like, “when they talk to other people it makes you want to throw up” like them. and as you clutch your stomach in the middle of the night, plagued awake by the mere hope that they are sleeping peacefully, thinking to yourself that you would never sleep another day in your life if it meant they would sleep peacefully for the rest of theirs, you start to wonder if you like them as more than a friend. that’s these two.

soldier/demo: these two are fine with each other, honest to god. no genuine issue, no outstanding beef. they simply do not want to speak to each other off of the field. do not attempt to put them together. they will stare at each other blankly, and look at you like you’re stupid. that’s the enemy. if they have something to say to each other, they tell it to their counterparts. and the worst part is, they get sent on contracts together all the time. they constantly mismark the wrong soldier, or the wrong demo, and then they have to work together. and it’s hard. they are nothing like the teammates they know. but they find synchronicity within each other. it just takes time.

scout/spy: honestly, these two aren’t on the worst of terms. yes, they kill each other regularly. yes, it’s damn near a side bet they have going on as to who’s coming out of mann co with the other’s head on the most pikes. yes, they say absolutely wretched things to each other on and off the field that would have anyone else tossing them into shallow graves outside of the respawn radius, but it is little more than training. iron sharpening iron. they simply chose each other to be their absolute worst nightmare. spy does not consider scout his child. he wasn’t there for that birth, he is not that man’s father. scout, at this point, does not want a father figure. that opportunity is long gone.

scout/spy: they actually hate each other. like actually, genuinely hate each other. the quiet burn of disappointment they feel for each other. and neither of them hold pity. they wouldn’t piss on each other to douse a fire. every horrible thing that has happened to them has been deserved, if you ask the other. they wished it was enough to kill them. and they are both grossly vocal about their distaste for the other. it makes their teammates defensive. it has been their utter distaste for the other that has led their scout and spy to bond closer out of this feeling of being collateral damage for an event they don’t even remember happening. and they don’t explain their distaste. its just there, and they sit in it. wallow in it together, like miserable pigs in a slaughterhouse. and they take it out on each other, and they take it out on their teammates.

[cychas]

[cychas]

Various gifs of how I think the mercs smile (Defense ver!) ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

RED Demo - He's quite cheery! He's always in high spirits (just like the gibs he blows up) and his smile is just as happy. Physical embodiment of this here :D

BLU Demo - Has a bad case of RBF (he is often thinking about the kills he whiffed) but he's a charmerrr <3 his smiles are s-m-o-o-t-h

RED Heavy - Big, BIG smile - he often gives this smile before mowing a person down or giving them a big hug. Hope it's the latter!

BLU Heavy - More quiet and reserved and more likely to frown, but he's always happy to pass a small, quick smile to let you know, you're doing good

RED Engineer - Usually he's milling about with a tune on his lips, but once he sees you, he'll give a sweet, if a bit shy (if a bit embarrassed), smile

BLU Engineer - Big thinker whenever he's not running around moving his buildings. His smile's always a little off-guard but never unwelcoming (unless you're a spy)

[cychas]

gosh i love him. I think i cooked

[cychas]

And when I finally see your eyes, I know you are not my friend or anyone at all.

[cychas]

hii...leaving these husbands here..

[cychas]

why do i hear boss music

[cychas]

[cychas]

i feel like tumblr would enjoy this (subs by me)

[cychas]

these guys

[cychas]

[cychas]

A nonmagical summoner who "summons" mercenaries by hiring them to kick the shit out of people

"Powerful wizard" who's actually just really rich

[cychas]

I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A BEACH. LAKE EPISODE WITH THE MERCS

scout: scout has become the de facto leader of the offense classes when near bodies of water during daylight. he is laying on the banks, failing to tan. he’s doing a great job burning, though! he takes maybe two hours to cook himself before he gets in. and when he gets in, he wants to play games. sharks and minnows, marco polo, the likes. he’ll go to the store and get pool games so that they always have something to do. the team will indulge him in this for a few hours, depending on what he brings. then he’s tired and ready to get out and burn some more. wears basic red swim shorts.

scout: scout has become, via being volun-told, that he is the nightfall leader of the offense classes. scout does not know how he got this job, scout was born in urban boston. until then, however, scout gets the day to himself. this is spent drinking, and tagging along with the offense classes on whatever hijinks they’re getting up to. scout is a bigger “hiker”. he wants to walk the woods, it’s unfamiliar, but with the offense classes, he’s got the numbers. this is normally something done at night, with the snipers leading the group. he thinks it’s kinda cool how much they know about wildlife, don’t tell them that, though. and it’s weird for it to be so loud outside, but they are so quiet. its different for him. he kinda likes it! wears basic blue swim shorts.

soldier: soldier is all in on whatever scout wants to do and will go until failure. when near bodies of water, soldier is acutely aware of the feeling that he is out of his element. granted, soldier is always out of his element in a domestic situation; but specifically water is more scout’s thing, or sniper’s, not his. and hanging out with sniper is like, an invite thing. he can only go hang out with sniper if scout hangs out with sniper. and when they all get together, normally sniper has brought some form of boat. usually a canoe, if sniper is given enough warning. then they go around the bank and down whatever creeks they may find. used to wear american flag boxers until the blu soldier told him that was against flag code. now he wears nothing.

soldier: jane doe enjoys a good trip to the banks of a body of water. he will immediately strip. if you don’t like it, don’t look. this is the peak male physical condition. learn it live it love it. he is usually one of the first in the water, and he just swims. he doesn’t stop. breaststroke, backstroke, his butterfly is nothing to sneeze at. and he swims. if able, he’s gonna go noodling. for those who don’t know, noodling is when you go fishing but your arm is the bait. it’s how you get the biggest fish. this is usually for bottom feeding fish, like catfish. he frightens the team. he stays underwater for up to seven minutes before he emerges victorious with a fish up to his shoulder. if some of the team, of either color, takes a canoe or a couple kayaks out he will swim behind them. oddly enough, he’s a great scout for beautiful scenery, and places to take breaks. everyone is thankful for this until he actually gets out of the water. come nightfall, he is thoroughly worked and starved. very grateful for whoever is on the grill. he does not go on the night hike with the rest of the offense classes.

pyro: if scout can convince pyro to get in the water, scout will do whatever pyro wants to do, then pyro will do whatever scout wants to do, and will go until they can’t stand to be in the water. pyro has a love/hate relationship with water. pyro likes a good swim. they like to take a few laps, reluctantly pyro does not like the rain. pyro prefers when they all hang out with sniper. sniper, to pyro, has found the perfect balance of water and being dry. they really like getting in the canoe! they’ll take a kayak, if that’s all sniper brought. but by about hour four, they’re ready to get out. they’ll find a nice place in the shade until nightfall, when their talents are requested. they do not change out of their suit.

pyro: not the biggest fan of water, pyro usually waits around until they’re needed. its normally pretty soon that a flame is wanted. for the grill, for a small trash fire, a lighter to burn any ticks found, it’s an easy job and they feel appreciated when they do it. they’ll help demo set up their camp. and the red team finds the blu pyro easier to contend with, and keep track of. the blu team would agree. they generally stay pretty close to base, but they keep a close eye on pyro, in general. come nightfall, pyro has generally earned enough trust from their teammates to get to go on the night hike with the rest of the offense classes. they also do not change out of their suit, but they put on a floatie for the aesthetic.

demo: tavish does not rawdog public bodies of water. demo will station himself at the grill for when engineer is ready to cool himself off. what demo does do is set up the best temporary camp on the land imaginable. it’s damn near the travel base. a large canopy, fifteen chairs, enough towels for both teams, a small station of sunscreen and aloe vera and sunhats near the dispenser (“thank ya, dell!” “anytime, tav!”), packaged snacks laid out and coolers filled to the brim with drinks of any kind. then he sits in the shade and drinks. has a good time heckling from the banks! by the afternoon, he has taken over on the grill. he’s best at kebabs, but can cook any meat you put in front of him. screeches when the blu soldier has a successful fishing session. everyone’s eating good tonight! wears a black wife beater and black swim shorts with purple swirl patterns.

demo: tavish is a little more willing to rawdog a public body of water. but he’s not gonna do it in the day. he helps his counterpart set up first, but he starts with tents. he laughs when the teams ask why he’s setting them up. prefers to take a kayak out at nightfall. he glides quietly through the water, and listens to the sounds of nature. it’s not home. he doesn’t remember what home sounds like, but it’s not this. this isn’t too bad, however. its peaceful. unless others join him, he doesn’t go very far from their camp. he’s usually the one who stays out the longest, and returns to maybe a few scattered teammates still awake, and embers slowly burning out. depending on how refreshed he feels after his time in the water, he might keep those teammates up for a few hours past his arrival! quiet snickers, and dirty jokes, and a couple drinks, and one of the pyros are roused to stoke another flame. wears plum purple swim shorts with a sky blue stripe down the leg.

heavy: heavy would really like to see what this noodling business is the blu soldier gets into. it is an odd moment of bonding between the two of them. misha finds he appreciates the blu soldier somewhat more than his own teammate at the lake. he’s quieter, more contemplative, less outwardly patriotic and more generally paranoid. those are all things he can contend with. as they spend the day catching fish after fish, and hauling them to shore, the blu soldier will look over and ask, point blank if he is a communist. misha will respond with a resounding “no”. jane will hear this, and nod, and say he believes him, but he’s still going to call him a commie bastard on the field. heavy is not pleased, but respects the man’s honesty. wears red shorts with a white stripe down the leg.

heavy: he’s not getting in that water. he’s gonna help demo put up those tents and then open the mesh openings and nap. water based activities are not this heavy’s thing. but if someone wants to go on a walk, wake him up. he’s happy to go on a stroll. one of the few times mikhail’s easygoing manner can be described as genuine. if this man isn’t on the field, or getting paid in any sense to be where he is, it’s a little easier to take him at face value because he’s not doing anything he doesn’t want to do. and nobody can make him. he will nap until he feels ready to engage, and when he does, he’s quite the socialite! major gossip when given the opportunity and a few drinks, under the “promise” that it’s not used at work. this is actually generally respected. what happens at the lake stays at the lake. wears a loose blue tshirt and navy blue swim shorts.

engineer: grill duty in the morning. well, “grill duty”. he’s doing a lot of prepping for lunch and he’s making small finger foods throughout the day for everyone until the sun is beating down on him. but he’s not on that grill long enough to break a sweat from it before he’s getting in the water. he’s at least wading in it. you can’t show him a lake and not expect him to get his feet wet, come on. that’s like asking a bird to not sing. and come the afternoon, tavish is ready to relieve him from the grill, since he doesn’t want to get in the water anyway. then engie gets to actually relax. has a floatie with a matching floatie for his beer. never removes his goggles. they’re even better than sunglasses. wears brown swim shorts with pockets.

engineer: his counterpart really pisses him off, why did they get matching swim shorts? generally keeping an eye on all of the vehicles, engineer is also designated DJ. he’s normally bouncing from vehicle to vehicle, tapping on the undersides to make sure no rodents make their way into the hood. it happened to him once and it severed a wire and now he checks every time. he’s also the one who brings a speaker to hook up to a radio. eventually he will also go wade in the water, stand there with his hands on his hips, he might even venture out with soldier and heavy to do some noodling! but he’s not staying out in the water long. he prefers to wait for it to get dark and a fire be made. when the chill wafting off the water has to battle to make contact through the rising heat. he almost gets why pyro likes the stuff so much at the lake.

medic: the doctor doesn’t get into the water until the sun goes down. he does it this way because he likes to skinny dip. it feels less embarrassing to do it at night when you’re a grown ass man. he doesn’t even like to admit that he feels embarrassment, it’s not embarrassment, he’s… particular about fabrics and whatever swim fabrics are made of didn’t make the cut, and society(okay now he’s getting somewhere), society has shamed each other into being embarrassed of their own bodies. all of this to say, the doctor is quite unassuming until nightfall with a book and a beer under the canopy, and when the offense classes are out on their night hike and the defense classes are winding down, he quietly undresses and slips into the water.

medic: this doctor is going to come with a book and not a single page of it will get read. he is going to wait patiently in the company car until everything is set up, he brought his own chair, he is going to set it up, sit down, lean back, open the book…. and promptly set it on his face. lights out. night night. do not wake this man until nightfall. he gets incredibly grouchy when roused before his nap is fully complete. the red team is marginally concerned, the blu teams laughs as they respond he doesn’t sleep often. luckily, this man could sleep through a gunshot at point blank range. when he is up, which will be sometime during dinner, he will slowly shuffle to the grill, nibble on whatever is left, and take stock of who is around. anyone he can’t immediately located is asked about, and when everyone has been accounted for, he feels a little more willing to be a part of the festivities. inadvertently turns the moonwashed lake into skinny dip city in his bid to not be outdone by his counterpart. they float in the middle of the lake, and quietly discuss what it means to be them to each other and the moon.

sniper: sniper will usually bring a canoe. it took him a while to find one he liked and was willing to add to his small inventory of items. it fits about six people, he’s very pleased with it, it sees use when he’s around large bodies of water. he also has a few floaties if anyone wanted to join the boat but couldn’t call a seat fast enough, he is willing to tow a few, A FEW, people. this is normally something that is reserved for the team, but he opens it to the blus if he’s feeling nice. normally the sniper willing to play with the offense classes in the daylight. he’s got enough energy to spare to them, but come dusk he’s gone. off on his own in the woods surrounding the area. if he’s lucky, he might return with more meat, and it’ll be round two of dinner. and if sniper is getting in the water, he strips. if you don’t like it, don’t look. only the soldiers find this admirable in the day. might end with a night swim, if he’s really up for it and they’re willing to keep pyro up a little longer to keep the flame going.

sniper: also a napper during the day, but he’s up by the afternoon. sniper will spend most, if not all of his time in the water. he will avoid wherever the soldier and the heavy are noodling, he’s excited for that meat. otherwise, he is swimming laps around the lake. back and forth and back and forth… he’s not even fancy with it, he’s just swimming. one of those freaks who keeps his eyes open underwater. and always very excited to take the offense classes out on a night hike. he can keep them out well past midnight walking three miles because everywhere they look is something sniper knows about, and physically cannot stop himself from sharing on. he just thinks wildlife is cool. he thinks everyone should think it’s cool. wears his clothes until he gets in and out of the water. he will then change into a simple tshirt and black, nondescript shorts.

spy: spy is not getting into water he cannot see through unless there is something between him and whatever could possibly be touching him. this means he either has to wear a full body wetsuit, or get a floatie with a mesh center, so nasty water can still come through. he will opt for the wetsuit. he can make a wetsuit look sexy. spy is also more of a land bound daytime hiker. it is not his favorite thing either, but it beats getting into water he cannot see through. he is one of the few bold enough to rouse the heavy in the tent and notify him he’s going on a walk. he is marginally shocked when he agrees and gets up. they walk and talk, and find themselves to enjoy each other’s company! can get pretty nasty when talking about the other teammates.

spy: spy is only getting into the water if someone is drowning. and he did not bring a spare change of clothes. so please don’t drown. he is very much a roamer and general vibe checker. he makes sure everyone is enjoying themselves, he makes sure the pyros are still in eyesight, and then he finds somewhere a little more secluded and tans. it isn’t the most fun or excitement he could have, but it works for him and that’s all he really needs at that point. also more of a night swimmer, by the time the sun begins to fall, spy gets more willing to interact with both teams. and, being notably kinder than his counterparts, gets quite a good reaction when he decides to socialize! gasps when clothes start coming off. also one of the few times he’ll grab a beer. wears a navy blue speedo.

[cychas]

A CALL TO ARMS!

hello all!

i do not normally come to you in such a manner, but i want us to have a chat.

tf2 fans, new and experienced, young and old, im not sure if you’ve heard the news.

but ShorK is making a Meet The Real Medic.

with robin.

and gary.

and sports fans, projects like these need money. bucks. dabloons. clams. and i have put forth all i can to this project.

and we have reached the bare minimum goal!

but sports fans; all masterpieces require a little more support. wink.

now, max, i hear you say. max, if the goal has been met, and you’ve already pledged, why are you bringing this to us? what are we supposed to do with this information? and to that, i say… i want the live orchestral remake of a little heart to heart and medic.

i NEED it, sports fans. i need it like i need air. and we need 120 thousand bones to do that.

so i’m gonna propose something. a little additional incentive to our sports fans. and i’m gonna be honest, i don’t know if this is legal? like i don’t know if this counts as a giveaway? and if it’s not someone PLEASE tell me so i can Not Break The Law.

for everyone who backs the kickstarter on ANY TIER and can DM me proof you backed the kickstarter, i’ll put you in a name picker and pick one person to buy a signed bonesaw off of robins etsy, free of charge.

that’s right. EVERYONE WHO CAN DM ME PROOF THEY BACKED THE KICKSTARTER AT ANY TIER. no following, no liking, no sharing required. and it will be 100% free. you will not even be charged shipping. i will have it mailed directly to your house from the etsy, red or blu, your choice, if your name is picked on the generator. granted, you do have to have your messages open so i can contact you, and failure to do so within 24 hours will result in someone else being chosen. im trying to think of everything i have to say legally about this. you also have to be cool with me knowing your address momentarily, and i will literally give you daily shipping updates when it is purchased, and when a tracking number comes in i’ll send that to you, as well. to sweeten the deal, at least for those who enjoy my writing, you will get a request of any kind that i will write for YOU, and send personally to YOU via the internet. all yours. nobody else will have a copy except me and you.

and that’s not all sports fans.

not only will that one person get a written request of their choice, so will FIVE OTHER BACKERS WHO GET RANDOMLY CHOSEN. THATS RIGHT, SIX OF YOU TOTAL WILL GET ONE WRITING REQUEST OF ANYTHING TF2 RELATED YOUR MIND CAN PONDER. AND IT WILL BE NOBODY ELSE’S BUT YOURS. and mine.

THAT is how badly i want that live orchestral soundtrack.

we are just shy of 70k. and i don’t want to get my hopes too high, because i know if we don’t make it i will be even more crushed than if i didn’t care.

but it’s not gonna stop me from hoping! and every dollar counts! so if you’ve got something to give, even a pound, you should give it! if not for me, for the love of the sport! and hey, one of you will get a signed bonesaw, and five others a grossly indulgent fic out of it, EVEN IF we don’t make the goal!

this giveaway will close when the kickstarter campaign ends, and a winner will be chosen the next day!

but max! max! i hear you cry. max, i really don’t give a shit about this. and i work for a living. i ain’t got it in me. and when’s your post coming out? and to that i say, twelve hours from now!

see you then, dolls!

[cychas]

[cychas]

And of course, Administration:

Remember the naked version I drew as a body ref? Well I decided to dress them up for a uniform ref lol Headshots below