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i enjoy going outside, ironically expressed by an agoraphobic. but it's the way it makes me feel grounded, connected to reality, rather than removed from everything. outside is where i should be, not in here... i enjoy seeing people and how human they are. it's the way people trip on the cracked sidewalk, with no one correcting them as their friends ask whether they're all right. as they tell their friends to look for a table while waiting in line. a mother holds her child's hand so that they do not get lost. students went home together. couples explore antique shops. people snap images to preserve memories. all of this can be me, experienced by me but all of me is trapped inside this toilet cubicle. waiting for the worst to happen and then it happens — i vomit, and vomit, and vomit. what am i? what if i am incapable of having human experiences?

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words by me

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The Incredulity of Saint Thomas by Caravaggio † Prose by @bebx (♡)

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Suzanne Collins has me deranged.

We know from the Ballad of Song Birds and Snakes that many of the features of the modern Hunger Games are Snow's invention, including those that motivate the districts, like prizes. It's fair to assume he likely came up with the idea for tesserae, it's an easy way to keep the districts well fed while encouraging/forcing participation and general involvement in the games. It's a great reminder, even the food you eat is linked to the games themselves. Tesserae is a type of tile work commonly associated with Romans which Collins draws a lot of inspiration from in her depiction of the Capital. It has also in the past been used as a token. In this case, you take the token of food in exchange for extra names in the bowl. Now that's fucking excellent on it's own, real neat bit of linguistic worldbuilding.

BUT what really gets me, what truly fucks me up is that Snow didn't name it that because he's like a language nerd. Tigris had to use tile buttons, tesserae buttons on his shirt during songbirds because they couldn't afford anything else. Snow inherently associates that material with poverty, specifically with the lack of food he had during that time. As a result tesserae represents poverty starvation and desperation to everyone in the districts. Snow is so god dam self obsessed he imbedded ,intentionally or not , personal fucking references to himself within the districts.

AND THAT is why Collins is so crazy to me that detail is tiny, you truly would not notice and in the grand scheme it's not that important but that's woman is on her shit and she's fucking thinking her thoughts and its genius. HER MIND UGH. truly has me messed.

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Human beings b like. *sits and stares peacefully at a fire* *sits and stares peacefully at the ocean* *sits and stares peacefully at a sleeping animal*

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SEVEN Recording Film

↳ JUNGKOOK

+ bonus koochella 🥰

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Sue zhao/Ryan O'Connell

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⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚. Margot Robbie .˚୨୧⋆˚｡⋆

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Lucie Brock-Broido, Trouble In Mind; from 'Dire Wolf'

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[ID: A page of a play. It reads as follows, "Theseus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. / Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. / Theseus: Stain them, I don't care." End text.]

Herakles - Euripides (Tr. Anne Carson)

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Here's a tweet from twitter user@/teasized that I saved in my notes a few months ago because I thought it was too beautiful to forget.

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“Close the door. Remove the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.”

— Paulo Coelho

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"I thought you wanted to live with me forever..."

"Moving away for studies doesn't mean I won't live with you

I'll live with you in the mornings as we wake up with the same Sun

I'll live with you as we hum to the same melody

I'll live with you when you'll step on a dry leaf here, when I'll caress a Lily in bloom there

I'll live with you as I turn every page, as you make long notes in your notebooks, as I float with the Dandelions, as you trot with your companions

I'll live with you as I light candles in the evening, as you steep sweet tea

I'll live with you in the comfort of my dreams and perhaps yours too

I'll live with you as I live, I'll live with you as you live."

I'd love to connect on Instagram too- @dishigoyal_

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Margaret Atwood, from The Blind Assassin