czar-of-lit

[czar-of-lit]

GOLF

It was at dawn. The sun was already shining, but it was still cool. The wind blew with the new American dream and heralded great changes. The freshness and coolness gave a new breath of air, and a rare bird flew in the sky. The shadows of the large tree crowns fell on the green grass, which grew around the large and blue lakes. Through the leaves of the trees, breaking the shadows of the trees, the sun's rays penetrated all living things, giving hope for a new bright day. Seven o'clock in the morning, dear United States. Wake up, America!

On the freshly mown lawn stood a little white bug-eyed car. With big headlights, two-seater, with beige leather seats and the smell of newness and expensiveness. Next to it stood a tall man, a blond with a big head of hair, blue eyes, not without a belly, but that was enough to be liked by girls. Or rather women, or maybe even grandmothers. Our hero was already in his eighties. In general – a golden oldie. Golden watches, expensive clothes, women in awe.

But even such a person has his problems. Playing golf alone is not quite proper, so our golden grandfather was waiting for his golf partner. The duty of every social person is to discuss politics and the pressing issues of the country and the world. But something delayed the interlocutor. 7.01, and he's not on the field… The blond looked at his watch, then around. Ahead, running, let me clarify, comically running, waddling from foot to foot, was another grandfather. Without a belly. Lean and slightly less golden: in a cap, in a polo, in mini shorts, he rushed to his friend with a club slung over his shoulder.

Still rushing…

Still…

Finally, they met and shook hands and greeted each other kindly.

Hello, old man! – exclaimed the blond.

And you stay healthy, dandy, how are we going to get to the place?

I have a brand new golf cart, I bought it recently, it's the coolest in the world!

Oh, how clean! What's the name of this stallion? Our enterprising Americans sure know how to make cars!

No, the name of this car is 美国的超级电动车吸上.

Alright, let's get started already! – said the grandpa in shorts with enthusiasm.

Take my clubs and jump in the car.

And you, what?

I can't… - the golden "lad" replied with a heavy sigh. The grandpas silently climbed into the car and quietly drove off. The breeze nicely cooled the legs of the old grandpa, and the blond worried that his wig might be blown off. And here they are already in place and preparing for the first serve (or whatever it is they have, something rich. I don't understand golf and their rich trinkets at all, I can't even take a proper shower, my bathtub is leaking, I can't understand them, sorry (like a sad smiley)). It was time to raise important social and political issues. Wake up, America!

So, what did you think of the recent debates? – said the golden boy.

What debates? – the interlocutor asked.

The ones that took place on June 27th.

Remind me who against whom?

Trump against Biden?

Or maybe Biden against Trump?

What's the difference?

Biden is always first! – the gruff one triumphantly replied.

Your Biden is just an old man who should have been on pension long ago! How old is he? Eighty-one. He's already shriveled up like a raisin!

Biden has a lot of experience in American political life, it only plays into his hands! Not like Trump, he's a complete newbie in politics, the conservatives would be better off without him. Why do they need him?

What? It's absolutely the other way around! Democrats are in shock from Biden! What he said at the recent debates… it's just awful. His speech was the worst in American history!

Maybe he's not the best…

Well. Who? – the blondie eagerly awaited the answer.

I forgot the word, - mumbled the old man – orator! – Suddenly remembered, - Maybe he's not the best orator, but his term as president wasn't bad, unlike Trump's. His was the worst in American history!

What nonsense are you talking?

I bring joy.

Biden's term will be remembered for billions poured into Ukraine, into Israel, impoverishing the American people! And all for nothing!

Russia attacked Ukraine. We had to help the Ukrainians! Ukrainians and Americans – two fraternal peoples!

If Russia respected the current president of America, it would not have attacked Ukraine! And if Trump comes to power, he will solve all the issues in 1 day!

Only if one day has 365 days! – parried the old man.

I've had enough, I'm tired of this farce. My knee joints hurt, so expect bad weather. We need to finish.

Oh right, I need to be at the hospital at eight in the morning. I have a superman test there. I think I'll win!

Alright, buddy, goodbye, just take my clubs, please.

No problem. They shook hands tenderly and said goodbye with a playful note in their voice: "Goodbye Joe," "See you Donald." The tree crowns added coolness to this enchanting day, the sun rose even higher, and the birds sang the anthem of the glorious United States! It's time to reveal the score of the golf game, you've been waiting for this the whole story. Score: 0 0 0 0 21 959. Zero for Trump, zero for Biden, zero goals scored, zero hits, twenty-one and nine hundred fifty-nine billion dollars of US national debt. Seven thirty in the morning. Wake up, America!

P.S: Hi from Russia! This is my first satire, especially for a foreign audience, if you liked it or did not like it, leave your review, and if it went into your soul and amused you, you can send me a small gift IBAN: RU7204452597440817810200057282915

(remember: for you it's one dollar and for me a whole big mac)