da-mous

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SpongeBob and Patrick discover that the mise en scènce of squidward’s house is so alluring that they start hooking up on the down low there. When Squidward discovers this he completely trashes his place so they’ll stop, but when he finds out that they started fucking at Squilliam’s house, he gets jealous and overcompensates by turning his house into a love hotel: The Sinful Cephalopod

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broooo did you seriously disturb my eternal rest & bring me back to this mortal coil just because my ancient enemy the eternal night has returned? after i sealed it away and everything? which one of you tampered with my binding runes 🙄

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next time youre hurling abuse into your headset playign video game.. think.... you never know who could be on the other side of the screan

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the whole "lipstick on a pig" thing makes no sense because the second we gave a pig access to makeup she became god's cuntiest soldier

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not sure I've ever read something nearly this pathetic

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oh…….i had a dream that a religious cult had taken over the city and was hunting me, but I had a little dog I found in the trash named BATHMAT and he looked like a USED MOP and I miss him so much. I want to go back to sleep

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if you call me mtf or amab i will devour your fucking soul and turn your empty flesh into an unfashionable wallet that i will donate to the thrift store, where it will sit dusty on the shelf for eternity, because nobody wants you.

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I'm too autistic to bear the sensory experience of Putting Thing On Face on a daily basis

forever grateful i was simply too lazy to let the makeup industrial complex get its hooks in me. I was just like im not doing all of that. in fact. im doing none of that

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she uses me to travel between home and work!

call her neopussy the flintstones car the way being inside makes me kick my legs

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goes to loves you island and eats the cherishberry that grows natively there

[da-mous]

Rend the Flesh: a short story

text version: x

content warnings: x

sources: x

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When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M

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I don't have to wear a bra and you get to see nipples. everyone wins

giving back to the community by being a woman with nipples visible through my shirt

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I get to be more free as an adult than I ever did as a child and I think more kids need to know that. as a high schooler part of what made my depression so bad was being told over and over again that it was the most carefree time of my life. while I was trapped in an abusive home + amongst bullies at school + in a body that wasn’t right for me. opportunities to be carefree don’t end when you turn 18. you can be more you than ever as an adult and that’s such a gift. I know ‘it can get better’ is an annoying thing to see over and over when you’re as trapped as I was back then. and I know that if you’re still a kid you deserve to be free right this second. but it can and will get better and this is not where life stops being interesting. promise