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Is McFly Album 6 Out Yet?

Day 1021: No.

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January 11th ‘16

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Dougie Poynter - Joshua Kane show (Backstage).

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Please fire me. I am the only female network engineer in my office so that time of the month tends to means me hiding tampons in my sleeves while heading to the bathroom. I use the extendable ones so they’re easier to hide. The other day I dropped it on the ground. My coworker saw it and demanded to know what it was. I was embarrassed, so I tried to laugh it off and said “Oh it’s just a lady thing.” He proceeded to tell me that was absolutely disgusting and this was an office and I didn’t need to be flaunting things like that. May I remind you, I accidentally dropped it - I wasn’t waving it around - and it was still in its wrapper. I got upset and told him it was NOT disgusting, it was a natural thing that I can’t help and turned to walk away. As I’m leaving, I hear himself say under his breath “Keep telling yourself that.”

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Please fire me. I work in a hotel in Kansas and the other day we had two women from Canada stay with us. We were sold out and I was working alone. They called every 10 minutes from their room to have me come up and explain how the TV, phone, ect. works. They would apologize and say “We’re just so far from home.”

I know there are televisions and telephones in Canada. I do not know if they were honestly that technologically deprived or just fucking with me.

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Please fire me. I work at a Subway. Four young children, none of them any older than seven, walked in and placed their orders for their kids meals, complete with toy bags, cookies, and milk. Their total came to about twenty dollars for the four kids meals altogether. That’s when grandma (presumably) wheeled in on her electric scooter, swiped her credit card, snatched up her receipt, and left. Not five minutes later did she scoot back in at high speed, hit the counter, and start yelling at me at the cost of four kids meals.

Now, our register is a POS system where you punch in the items and the computer knows the prices. I cannot override prices, as I’m not a manager, therefore, I don’t know the code to do so. The woman then proceeds to tell me that I take advantage of young children, and that my parents have raised me wrong and that my “ass needs to be whipped raw.” One of the managers offers to void her purchase to get her money back. The woman then demands cash back. We remind her that she paid with a card and cannot get paper money back. She then proceeds to hit our counter with her scooter, proceeding to call me a thief and that my parents were probably thieves, too. I responded with “Maybe your children should not have been sent to buy their own food just yet.” My manager voided her purchase, then told me that I was not allowed to defend myself in a customer complaint. She then made me hammer out the dents the woman made in our metal counter.

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Please fire me. I work in a small town funeral home. Occasionally I get called out in the middle of the night to assist the coroner with difficult situations. Got called to the local adult theater recently. This particular establishment had individual booths fully equipped with “glory holes.” Apparently a middle aged gentleman had passed while receiving oral pleasure at the glory hole from an anonymous man in the neighboring booth. He was a very large man and the door was locked. The paramedics had managed to break away part of the door; enough to determine this man was indeed dead. We had to dismantle the rest of the door to get him out. He was a VERY large man. His pants were off and he was covered in various bodily fluids and blood from a gash suffered when he fell, among “other” things. I had the pleasure of wearing most of these fluids, leaking from various openings in this fat rednecks body. Interesting evening to say the least. To top it off, I was charged with making the funeral arrangements the next day with his lovely wife.