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TYRION LANNISTER QUOTES

Spoken by Tyrion

Tyrion Lannister: “Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.”

Jon Snow: “What the hell do you know about being a bastard?”

Tyrion Lannister: “All dwarfs are bastards in their father’s eyes.”

—Tyrion Lannister and Jon Snow.

Cersei Lannister: “I still can’t believe you’re going. It’s ridiculous, even for you.”

Tyrion Lannister: “Where’s your sense of wonder? The greatest structure ever built. The interpid men of the Night’s Watch. The wintry abode of White Walkers.”

—Tyrion and Cersei.

Jaime Lannister: “Tell me you’re not thinking of taking the black.”

Tyrion Lannister: “And go celibate? The whores would be begging from Dorne to Casterly Rock. No, I just want to stand on top of the Wall and piss off the edge of the world.”

—Tyrion and Jaime.

Jaime Lannister: “Even if the boy lives, he’d be a cripple. Grotesque. Give me a good, clean death anyway.”

Tyrion Lannister: “Speaking for the grotesques, I’d have to disagree. Death is so final, whereas life, ah, life is full of possibilities. I hope the boy does wake. I’d be very interested to hear what he has to say.”

Jaime Lannister: “My dear brother, at times you make me wonder whose side you’re on.”

Tyrion Lannister: “My dear brother, you wound me. You know how much I love my family.”

—Tyrion and Jaime discuss Bran Stark.

“Everything’s better with some wine in the belly.”

TYRION

“Yes. Until my brother killed him. Life is full of these little ironies. My sister married the new king, and my repulsive nephew will be king after him. I must do my part for the honor of my house; wouldn’t you agree? But how? Well, my brother has his sword, and I have my mind. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. That’s why I read so much, Jon Snow.”

TYRION TO JON SNOW

Robb Stark: “Is this some kind of trick? Why do you want to help him?”

Tyrion Lannister: “I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards, and broken things.”

—Tyrion to Robb Stark after presenting Bran Stark with his plans for a special saddle to help him ride again.

“When I was ten, I stuffed my uncle’s boots with goat shit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice. When I was twelve I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel…”

TYRION CONFESSES HIS “CRIMES” TO LYSA ARRYN AND CATELYN STARK AT THE EYRIE

Tyrion Lannister: “I am Tyrion, son of Tywin of Clan Lannister.”

Shagga: “How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin?”

Tyrion Lannister: “In my own bed, at the age of 80 with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my cock.”

—Tyrion uses his sense of humor to defuse another tense situation.

“We have our differences, Jaime and I. He’s braver. I’m better looking.”

TYRION TO TYWIN LANNISTER

“If I were capable of tricking Father, I’d be emperor of the world by now.”

TYRION TO CERSEI

“You might find it difficult to rule over millions who want you dead.”

TYRION TO CERSEI

Tyrion Lannister: “I don’t like threats.”

Varys: “Who threatened you?”

Tyrion Lannister: “I am not Ned Stark. I understand the way this game is played.”

Varys: “Ned Stark was a man of honor.”

Tyrion Lannister: “And I am not. Threaten me again, and I will have you thrown into the sea.”

—Tyrion to Varys.

Janos Slynt: “Are you drunk? I’ll not have my honor questioned by an imp!”

Tyrion Lannister: “I’m not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I’m denying it’s existence.”

Janos Slynt: “If you think I’ll stand here and take this from you, dwarf…”

Tyrion Lannister: “Dwarf? Mm, you should have stopped at imp. And, yes, you will stand here and take it from me, unless you’d like to take it from my friend here.”

—Tyrion and Janos Slynt.

“The King is a lost cause, it’s the rest of us I’m worried about now.”

TYRION ON JOFFREY

Joffrey Baratheon: “YOU’RE TALKING TO A KING!”

Tyrion Lannister: (slaps Joffrey) “And now I’ve struck a king! Did my hand fall from my wrist?”

—Tyrion reprimands Joffrey for inciting the riots in King’s Landing.

“The Lord of Light wants his enemies burned; the Drowned God wants them drowned; Why are all the Gods such vicious cunts? Where is the God of tits and wine?”

TYRION DISCUSSING RELIGION WITH VARYS

Tyrion Lannister: “I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you will know the debt is paid.”

Cersei Lannister: “Get out.”

—Tyrion and Cersei.

“I would kill for you. Do you know that? I expect I’ll have to before this is over. You’re mine.”

TYRION TO SHAE

Tyrion Lannister: “You’re an intelligent man. I like to think I’m an intelligent man.”

Varys: “Oh, no on disputes that, not even the multitudes that despise you.”

Tyrion Lannister: “I wish we could converse as two honest intelligent men.”

Varys: “I wish we could too.”

—Tyrion conversing with Varys.

“I chopped wood once. No, I watched my brother chopping wood.”

TYRION TO BRONN

“These bad people are what I’m good at. Out-talking them, out-thinking them— it’s what I am. And I like it. I like it more than anything I’ve ever done.”

TYRION TALKING TO SHAE WHILE RECOVERING FROM THE INJURIES HE SUFFERED DURING THE BATTLE OF THE BLACKWATER

Cersei Lannister: “You’re a clever man. But you’re not half as clever as you think you are.”

Tyrion Lannister: “Still makes me more clever than you.”

—Tyrion and Cersei.

“It’s hard to say which of the four of us is getting the worst of the arrangement. Probably Sansa. Though Loras will certainly come to know a deep and singular misery.”

TYRION

Tyrion Lannister: “What did you once call me? A drunken little lust-filled beast?”

Tywin Lannister: (almost laughing) “More than once.”

Tyrion Lannister: “There you have it. Nothing to worry about. Drinking and lust, no man can match me in these things. I am the god of tits and wine. I shall build a shrine to myself at the next brothel I visit.”

Tywin Lannister: (losing his temper) “You can drink, you can joke, you can engage in juvenile attempts to make your father uncomfortable, but you will do your duty.”

—Tyrion gets drunk at his wedding to Sansa.

“Then you’ll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock!”

TYRION TO KING JOFFREY

Tyrion Lannister: “She is no longer yours to torment!”

Joffrey Baratheon: “Everyone is mine to torment! You’ll do well to remember that, you little monster!”

Tyrion Lannister: “Oh, I’m a monster? Perhaps you should speak to me more softly, then. Monsters are dangerous and just now kings are dying like flies.”

—Tyrion spars with Joffrey.

Tyrion Lannister: “You just sent the most powerful man in Westeros to bed without his supper.”

Tywin Lannister: “You’re a fool if you think he’s the most powerful man in Westeros.”

Tyrion Lannister: “A treasonous statement; Joffrey is King.”

Tywin Lannister: “Do you really think a crown gives you power?”

Tyrion Lannister: “No, I think armies give you power. Robb Stark had an army, and you defeated him all the same.”

—Tyrion and Tywin discuss power.

Tyrion Lannister: “The Northerners will never forget.”

Tywin Lannister: “Good. Let them remember what happens when they march on the South.”

—Tyrion warns Tywin about the possible consequences of the Red Wedding.

Tyrion Lannister: “Do you think she’ll open her legs for me when I tell her we murdered her mother and brother?”

Tywin Lannister: “One way or another you will get that girl pregnant.”

Tyrion Lannister: “I will NOT rape her!”

—Tyrion spars with Tywin.

Sansa Stark: “I lie awake all night, staring at the canopy, thinking of how they died.”

Tyrion Lannister: “I could get essence of nightshade to help you sleep.”

Sansa Stark: “Do you know what they did to my brother? How they sewed his direwolf’s head onto his body? And my mother? They say they cut her throat to the bone and threw her body in the river.”

Tyrion Lannister: “What happened to your family was a terrible crime. I didn’t know your brother; he seemed like a good man but I didn’t know him. Your mother, on the other hand, I admired her. She wanted to have me executed but I admired her. She was a strong woman, and she was fierce when it came to protecting her children. Sansa, your mother would want you to carry on. You know it’s true.”

—Tyrion tries to comfort Sansa after the deaths of her mother and brother.

“I saved you. I saved this city… and all your worthless lives! I should have let Stannis kill you all!”

TYRION LASHES OUT AT THE POPULACE IN KING’S LANDING FOR TURNING ON HIM AFTER ALL HE DID FOR THEM

Tyrion Lannister: “I did not do it. I did not kill Joffrey, but I wish that I had! Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores! I wish I was the monster you think I am! I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack for you! I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it!”

Tywin Lannister: “Ser Meryn! Ser Meryn, escort the prisoner back to his cell!”

Tyrion Lannister: “I will NOT give my life for Joffrey’s murder, and I know I’ll get no justice here, so I will let the gods decide my fate! I demand a trial by combat.”

—Tyrion at his trial.

Jaime Lannister: “I made a deal for you to keep your ungrateful head on your ungrateful neck a little while longer.”

Tyrion Lannister: “I’m sorry, what am I grateful for? The opportunity to live and die at the Wall as punishment for a crime I did not commit?”

Jaime Lannister: “You threw your life away! You threw it away! It’s not a joke. You understand that, don’t you?”

Tyrion Lannister: “Of course, it’s a joke! Just not a very funny one.”

—Tyrion defends his actions at the trial.

Tyrion Lannister: “That deal you made, it was everything father wanted. You do see that? He gets you back as his heir. The future Lord of the Rock. And he ships me off to Castle Black, out of sight at last. All so perfect. I’m innocent and he’s willing to sacrifice me anyway.”

Jaime Lannister: “He’s willing to sacrifice any of us.”

Tyrion Lannister: “Not you! You’re the golden son! You could kill a king, lose a hand, fuck your own sister, you’ll always be the golden son!”

Jaime Lannister: “Careful! I’m the last friend you’ve got.”

—Tyrion to Jaime.

Tyrion Lannister: “What’s the punishment for regicide? Drawing and quartering? Hanging? Breaking at the wheel?”

Jaime Lannister: “Beheading.”

Tyrion Lannister: “Seems rather ordinary. And he was my nephew as well, so what’s that? Fratricide is brothers, filicide is sons. Nepoticide! That’s the one. Matricide, patricide, infanticide, suicide. There’s no kind of killing that doesn’t have its own word.”

Jaime Lannister: “Cousins.”

Tyrion Lannister: “Cousins? You’re right. There is no word for cousin-killing! Well done.”

—Tyrion and Jaime before his second trial by combat

Tywin Lannister: “You shot me! You’re no son of mine!”

Tyrion Lannister: “I am your son. I have always been your son.”

—Tyrion kills Tywin.

“The future is shit, just like the past.”

TYRION TO VARYS

Varys: “Cersei has offered a lordship to the man who brings her your head.”

Tyrion Lannister: “She ought to offer her cunt; best part of her for the best part of me. Well, I suppose a box is as good a place for me as anywhere.”

Varys: “Are we really going to spend the entire road to Volantis talking about the futility of everything?”

Tyrion Lannister: “You’re right, no point.”

—Tyrion and Varys.

Daenerys Targaryen: “If you are Tyrion Lannister, why shouldn’t I kill you to pay your family back, for what it did to mine?”

Tyrion Lannister: “You want revenge against the Lannisters? I killed my mother, Joanna Lannister, on the day I was born. I killed my father, Tywin Lannister, with a bolt to the heart. I am the greatest Lannister killer of our time.”

Daenerys Targaryen: “So I should welcome you into my service because you murdered members of your own family?”

Tyrion Lannister: “Into your service? Your Grace, we have only just met. It’s too soon to know if you deserve my service.”

—Tyrion speaks with Daenerys Targaryen.

“House Targaryen is gone. Not a single person who shares your blood is alive to support you. The Starks are gone as well, our two terrible fathers saw to that. The remaining members of House Lannister will never back you, not ever. Stannis Baratheon won’t back you either. His entire claim to the throne rests on the illegitimacy of yours. That leaves the Tyrells… not impossible, but not enough.”

TYRION TO DAENERYS TARGARYEN

Daario Naharis: “So mainly, you talk.”

Tyrion Lannister: “And drink… I’ve survived so far!”

—Tyrion and Daario Naharis on Tyrion’s physical limitations.

“That’s what I do: I drink and I know things.”

TYRION LANNISTER

“I’m here to help. Please don’t eat the help.”

TYRION ATTEMPTS TO PACIFY VISERION AND RHAEGAL

Tyrion: “A wise man once said that the history of the world is the history of great conversations in elegant rooms.”

Missandei: “Who said this?”

Tyrion: “Me. Just now.”

—Tyrion and Missandei.

“Let us sail to the tide of freedom instead of being drowned by it.”

TYRION NEGOTIATES WITH THE GOOD MASTERS OF ASTAPOR

“Are you afraid? You should be. You’re in the great game now, and the great game’s terrifying.”

TYRION LANNISTER

“For what it’s worth, I’ve been a cynic for as long as I can remember. Everyone’s always asking me to believe in things; family, gods, kings, myself. It was often tempting, until I saw where belief got people. So I said ‘no thank you’ to belief; yet, here I am… I believe in you.”

TYRION TO DAENERYS

“Welcome home, Your Grace.”

TYRION TO DAENERYS

Sandor: “Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it.”

Tyrion: “And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through.”

—Tyrion and the Hound.

“If it weren’t for me, you’d have a mother. If it weren’t for me, you’d have a father. If it weren’t for me, you’d have two beautiful children. I’ve thought about killing you more times than I can count! DO IT! Say the word!”

TYRION GOADS CERSEI TO KILL HIM

Spoken about Tyrion

Catelyn Stark: “We’ll need plenty of candles for Lord Tyrion’s chamber. I’m told he reads all night.”

Maester Luwin: “I’m told he drinks all night.”

Catelyn Stark: “But how much could he possibly drink? A man of his… stature.”

Maester Luwin: “We’ve brought out eight barrels of ale from the cellar. Perhaps we’ll find out.”

—Catelyn Stark and Maester Luwin about Tyrion.

Theon Greyjoy: “What’s a dwarf like down below? I’ve always wondered.”

Ros: “Mmm, might surprise you.”

Theon Greyjoy: “Mmm?”

Ros: “He’s good with his fingers, too. And his tongue.”

—Ros towards Theon Greyjoy about Tyrion’s qualities as a lover.

Jaime Lannister: “I didn’t realize you placed such a high value on my brother’s life.”

Tywin Lannister: “He’s a Lannister. He might be the lowest of the Lannisters, but he’s one of us, and every day that he remains a prisoner, the less our names command respect.”

—Tywin Lannister explains that he is laying siege to the Riverlands in response to Catelyn Stark’s capture of Tyrion.

“The whole way from Dorne all anyone talked about was the monster that had been born to Tywin Lannister. A head twice the size of his body, a tail between his legs, claws, one red eye, the privates of both a girl and a boy. When we met your sister, she promised she would show you to us. Every day we would ask. Every day she would say, ‘Soon.’ Then she and your brother took us to your nursery and… she unveiled the freak. Your head was a bit large. Your arms and legs were a bit small, but no claw. No red eye. No tail between your legs. Just a tiny pink cock. We didn’t try to hide our disappointment. ‘That’s not a monster,’ I told Cersei ‘That’s just a baby’.”

OBERYN MARTELL

“He murdered my father. If I ever see him, I’ll split him in two. Then I’ll give him your regards.”

JAIME LANNISTER TO BRONN

Daario Naharis: “The dwarf told you to do this?”

Daenerys Targaryen: “No one tells me to do anything.”

Daario Naharis: “Clever fellow. Can’t argue with his logic.”

—Daario realizes Tyrion advised Daenerys to break up with him.

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daboyz79 · 2 months ago

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EDDARD STARK

Quotes

masterlist

Spoken by Eddard

EDDARD STARK: “The Mad King is dead, Rhaegar lies beneath the ground. Why aren’t you there to protect your prince?”

ARTHUR DAYNE: “Our prince wanted us here.”

EDDARD STARK: “Where’s my sister?”

ARTHUR DAYNE: “I wish you good fortune in the wars to come. And now it begins.”

EDDARD STARK: “No. Now it ends.”

—Eddard Stark and Arthur Dayne before the Skirmish at the Tower of Joy.

“And which one of you was a marksman at the?”

EDDARD TO ROBB AND JON WHEN THEY LAUGH AT BRAN.

“The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword.”

EDDARD TO BRAN.

JAIME LANNISTER: “I’m sure we’ll have a tournament to celebrate the new title, if you accept. It would be good to have you in the field, the competition has become a bit stale.”

EDDARD STARK: “I don’t fight in tournaments.”

JAIME LANNISTER: “No? Getting a little old for it?”

EDDARD STARK: “I don’t fight in tournaments because when I fight a man for real, I don’t want him to know what I can do.”

JAIME LANNISTER: “Well said.”

—Eddard to Ser Jaime Lannister.

“The wolf is of the North. She deserves better than a butcher.”

EDDARD VOLUNTEERS TO PUT DOWN LADY.

CERSEI LANNISTER: “You’re just a soldier, aren’t you? You take your orders and you carry on. I suppose it makes sense. Your older brother was trained to lead, and you were trained to follow.”

EDDARD STARK: “I was also trained to kill my enemies, Your Grace.”

CERSEI LANNISTER: “As was I.”

—Exchange between Eddard and Cersei Lannister.

EDDARD STARK: “I followed you into war. Twice. Without doubts, without second thoughts. But I will not follow you now. The Robert I grew up with didn’t tremble at the shadow of an unborn child.”

ROBERT BARATHEON: “She dies.”

EDDARD STARK: “I will have no part in it.”

ROBERT BARATHEON: “You’re the King’s Hand, Lord Stark. You’ll do as I command, or I’ll find me a Hand who will!”

EDDARD STARK: “And good luck to him. I thought you were a better man.”

—Eddard refuses to take part in killing Daenerys Targaryen and her unborn child.

“I grew up with soldiers. I learned how to die a long time ago.”

EDDARD TO VARYS.

“You think my life is such a precious thing to me, that I would trade my honor for a few more years… Of what?”

EDDARD TO VARYS.

“I am Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell and Hand of the King. I come before you to confess my treason, in the sight of Gods and men. I betrayed the faith of my King, and the trust of my friend, Robert. I swore to defend and protect his children, but before his blood was cold I plotted to murder his son, and seize the throne for myself. Let the High Septon and Baelor the Blessed bear witness to what I say. Joffrey Baratheon is the one true heir to the Iron Throne. By the grace of all the Gods, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm.”

EDDARD’S LAST WORDS.

Spoken about Eddard

MAESTER AEMON: “If the day should ever come when your lord father was forced to choose between honor on the one hand those he loves on the other, what would he do?”

JON SNOW: “He would do whatever was right, no matter what.”

MAESTER AEMON: “Then Lord Stark is one man in ten thousand. Most of us are not so strong.”

—Maester Aemon and Jon Snow discuss Ned Stark.

“You were right about Eddard Stark. If he were alive, we could’ve used him to broker a peace with Winterfell and Riverrun, which would have given us more time to deal with Robert’s brothers, but now? Madness! Madness and stupidity!”

TYWIN LANNISTER TO TYRION LANNISTER.

CERSEI LANNISTER: “I’ve done nothing.”

TYRION LANNISTER: “Quite right. You did nothing when your son called for Ned Stark’s head. Now the entire North has risen up against us.”

CERSEI LANNISTER: “I tried to stop it.”

TYRION LANNISTER: “Did you? You failed. That bit of theater will haunt our family for a generation.”

—Tyrion reprimands his sister for failing to prevent Ned’s death.

“You think the piece of paper father gave you keeps you safe? Ned Stark had a piece of paper too.”

CERSEI LANNISTER TO TYRION LANNISTER.

CATELYN STARK: “How dare you?”

PETYR BAELISH: “You may have heard false reports.”

CATELYN STARK: “You betrayed Ned.”

PETYR BAELISH: “Betrayed? I wanted him to serve as Protector of the Realm. I begged him to seize the moment—”

CATELYN STARK: “I trusted you, my husband trusted you. And you repaid our faith with treason.”

—Catelyn Stark accusing Petyr Baelish of betraying Eddard Stark.

“My husband was an honorable man. He should reat beside his family in the crypts beneath Winterfell.”

PETYR BAELISH BRINGS BACK EDDARD’S CORPSE TO CATELYN.

“It is strange to find you beside my father, Lady Stark. Your husband was a supporter of my claim. Lord Eddard’s integrity cost him his head, and you sit beside this pretender and chastise me?”

STANNIS BARATHEON REMEMBERS EDDARD STARK.

“Ned Stark had many admirers. And how many stepped forward when the executioner came for his head?”

OLENNA TYRELL’S THOUGHTS ON EDDARD STARK’S DEATH.

BERIC DONDARRION: “He was a good man, Ned Stark. He’s at rest now, somewhere. I would never wish my life upon him.”

ARYA STARK: “I would. You’re alive.”

—Beric Dondarrion and Arya Stark talk about Eddard.

“You think the honorable Ned Stark wanted to hear my side? He judged me guilty the moment he set eyes on me. By what right does the wolf judge the lion? By what right!?”

SER JAIME LANNISTER TO BRIENNE OF TARTH.

“Your father grew up right here in these halls. We hunted together many times. He was a fine man.”

YOHN ROYCE REMEMBERS EDDARD STARK.

“You have to be smarter than father. You need to be smarter than Robb. I loved them, I miss them, but they mad stupid mistakes and they both lost their heads for it.”

SANSA TO JON SNOW.

ARYA STARK: “In winter we must protect ourselves. Look after one another.”

SANSA STARK: “Father. “When the snows fall and white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives.””

ARYA STARK: “I miss him.”

SANSA STARK: “Me too.”

—Arya and Sansa remember their father.

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