daemonicblackcat - Tumblr blog

[daemonicblackcat]

If you're lamenting the fact that you used to be able to shoot through a 500-page novel in like a day when you were in middle school and now you can't, it's worth bearing in mind that a big part of that is because when you were in middle school, your reading comprehension sucked. Yes, mental health and the stresses of adult life can definitely be factors, but it's also the case that reading is typically more effortful as an adult because you've learned to Ponder The Implications. The material isn't just skimming over the surface of your brain anymore, and some of the spoons you used to spend on maximising your daily page count are now spent on actually thinking about what you're reading!

[daemonicblackcat]

the way this kitten meow

(Source)

[daemonicblackcat]

Brother Gregor never spoke and often spooked the neophytes with his appearance, but he was a gentle soul and a phenomenal cook and knew more ways to prepare a fish than the abbot knew hymns

[daemonicblackcat]

do you ever hear people talking about something and you’re like. fuck. let me be real for a second. i’m too much of a commie to have this conversation

[daemonicblackcat]

[daemonicblackcat]

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[daemonicblackcat]

ثنائيات

Adam Styka (1890-1959)

[daemonicblackcat]

the 50$ sword i got from a shady flea market was diagnosed to be a wall-hanger rather than a prop so i spent today making it the prettiest wall-hanger in the land

[daemonicblackcat]

Guy who has heard other guys refer to their wives as "ball and chain" and "battle-axe" and wrongfully assumed you can refer to your wife as any medieval weapon: oh there's my beautiful Lucerne hammer

[daemonicblackcat]

[No]Pocket Lighter

[daemonicblackcat]

A bat and his bird collection

[daemonicblackcat]

He actually needs to go as well..

[daemonicblackcat]

Damian: I trust the judgement of cats where it comes to character. Alfred the cat has never steered me wrong with the lick test of integrity.

Duke: Do you trust the judgement of bees?

Damian:… What does that have to do with anything I am currently talking about?

Duke: I had a bee lick me once and I’m wondering if it counts.

Damian: …

Duke: … felt like a little straw on my finger lol

Damian:…

Duke: … uh-

Damian: how did you get the bee to lick you?

Duke: what?

Damian: how did you get the bee to lick you?

Duke: oh! I was eating strawberries on patrol and the juice attracted it.

Later

Jason: gross dude! Why are your hands sticky?!?

Damian: bee licks.

Jason: wha?

Damian: bee licks.

[daemonicblackcat]

Leverage + Textposts 2

[daemonicblackcat]

When people get a little too gung-ho about-

wait. cancel post. gung-ho cannot be English. where did that phrase come from? China?

ok, yes. gōnghé, which is…an abbreviation for “industrial cooperative”? Like it was just a term for a worker-run organization? A specific U.S. marine stationed in China interpreted it as a motivational slogan about teamwork, and as a commander he got his whole battalion using it, and other U.S. marines found those guys so exhausting that it migrated into English slang with the meaning “overly enthusiastic”.

That’s…wild. What was I talking about?

[daemonicblackcat]

some loser: humans are innately selfish creatures

my psych book:

[daemonicblackcat]

cats when they put the weight of a thousand men into the paw stepping on your boob