dagonetsclippedthreads

[dagonetsclippedthreads]

Content warning for Dean (kingsman).

Dean was a ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’ type of bloke (except for the thank you part). which suited Michelle just fine. The sooner he got off her the better. She would do what she had to in order to keep a roof over her and her son’s heads.

Dean rolled off her once he was done and was soon snoring loudly.

Michelle put her hand between her legs and took care of herself with the help of Dean’s spend, making sure to be quiet so as not to wake him.

She missed Lee. And hated him for leaving her.

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Roxy had finally arrived home from her mission. Didn’t know the day or date. She just wanted her bed.

***

Roxy was going to murder whoever had rung her door bell and woken her up.

A tiny vampire stood on her doorstep.

“Trick or treat!”

Roxy hated children.

“Daisy, remember only knock on houses that are decorated. I’m so sorry.”

Hello!!!

Roxy hated children. But she loved mums…

“It’s no trouble,” she said sweetly, hoping she didn’t resemble a ghoul in front of this hot mama, considering how deathly tired she felt.

She went back inside to find something resembling lollies.

@noelaborate

(Thank god I’m working today so I don’t have to deal with any trick or treat madness. I’m a Halloween humbug!)

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“I have procured all the necessary ingredients for my spell.”

Daisy showed her cupped hands to Michelle. In them was a mixture of mud, foliage and some of JB’s dog treats.

Daisy held her hands up to the sky. “Oh, ancient keeper of paternity, I offer you this humble sacrifice in exchange for a dad.”

“Daise…” Michelle began, relieved everyday that daisy remembered nothing of her actual father.

Daisy buried her concoction by a tree and surveyed her work.

***

Roxy was being dragged through the park by her normally-obedient poodle. Victoria sniffed furiously at a tree and began to dig.

(Written for the @flufftober 2024 day 11 prompt: ingredients and spells)

Not quite a dad but close enough.

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Michelle was volunteering at the op shop when a beautiful dress resembling Sarah’s ball gown from her favourite film, Labyrinth, was found among a pile of clothes she was sorting.

She had found her Halloween costume.

With some red, striped pyjamas, Daisy could be Toby. JB had about as much courage as Ambrosius…

When would Michelle’s Jareth come along?

***

Roxy had found success with ladies of a certain… vintage while trick or treating wearing her Jareth costume. She rolled up a pair of socks and placed them down her pants to complete her look and went out into the night…

@noelaborate another mixy couple’s costume headcanon.

If anyone can photoshop Sophie’s head onto Jareth’s body I will cry tears of joy…

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Life in the Arctic Circle during winter was great for a vampire. The days were short, Tilde could be out more.

Summer, however… the palace had created a story that the princess had a rare skin disorder which made her particularly sensitive to sunlight and allergic to most sunscreens.

Swedes didn’t question it.

***

Tilde gave the best hickeys. Roxy had taken to wearing scarves.

One night Tilde was sucking particularly hard on Roxy’s groin.

“Easy. You’re going to draw blood.”

Tilde lifted her head, her eyes were red, teeth sharp.

Roxy entertained the idea that maybe she wanted her to…

(Written for the @sapphic-september 2024 day 26 prompt: vampire)

[dagonetsclippedthreads]

Summer meant being shuffled about between relatives because her parents were busy.

Roxy wondered why they ever had her in the first place.

***

Cousin Alastair Once Removed was weird. He had guns. Father had guns but he never allowed Roxy near them.

“See that fox?” Alastair pointed to the edge of the forest.

Roxy had to squint to see it.

“I want you to shoot it.”

Roxy gulped, aimed and pulled the trigger.

She missed miserably. The fox ran away spooked.

Alastair tutted. “You’ll need to know this one day.”

For what, Roxy didn’t know.

“We’ll practice more,” Alastair promised.

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Michelle thought she was resilient. Everyone else in history had done this, why couldn’t she?

She thought she knew what sleep deprivation was. She used to party all night and still go to work in the morning.

She thought she knew how to look after babies. She used to babysit her little cousins all the time.

Lee couldn’t come home from the army. Michelle was all alone.

Baby Gary barely slept for more than an hour at a time.

The nurse said he was thriving, meeting his expected milestones.

She would get through it. She just had to stay awake.

(Written for whumptober 2024 day 8 prompt: sleep deprivation, forced to stay awake)

Don’t tell me this isn’t whump. The early days of caring for a newborn was some of the biggest whump ever

[dagonetsclippedthreads]

Everyone needed a hobby. Something to help them wind down and relax from the stress of adult life. Especially working in the spy business.

Eggsy’s hobby was a little unorthodox. He weren’t embarrassed about it. But some people just didn’t understand.

“Is it a sex thing?”

Well, sometimes it was. But he made sure he evened it out with some fluff.

“Is it for catharsis?”

It was certainly cheaper than therapy.

Other times he’d get an idea that wouldn’t leave him alone until he put it on ‘paper’.

Such was the life of a Jack Bauer x Reader fanfic writer.

[dagonetsclippedthreads]

Binding of Driving the Nail by and for the sensational @zebraljb!

A binding for a work about the metamorphosis of hunters. Dove pleather cover, marbled endpapers, blue metallic titling. Endpaper print of Gaston-Casimir Saint Pierre's Diana and Actaeon. All to fit themes in the work.

[dagonetsclippedthreads]

Binding of Patience and Sheer Determination by the magnificent @blacktofade, featuring art commissioned from the superlative @mcworm!

A binding for a story about devotion and service. Green cloth and champagne metallic titling. A simple binding to highlight the work and art commissioned of Yvain, The Knight of the Lion. All to fit themes in the work.

I’m really enjoying binding as a method of celebrating and validating transformative works as well as a pro-community gesture. In keeping with that idea, I’m happy to make the author a copy at no cost for themselves if they’d like one. Thanks!

[dagonetsclippedthreads]

Of all the places Merlin was expecting Harry to take him for their first date, a MacDonald’s was somewhere near the very bottom of the list.

But Harry was full of surprises.

He noticed Harry looking longingly at the pickles Merlin had pulled out of his Big Mac so he slid the burger wrapper over. “Be my guest.”

Harry picked up the neat pile of green grossness and put the lot in this mouth. Merlin shuddered.

Full of surprises.

***

Later that night Harry presented him with a plate of Twinkies and a 1937 Château d'Yquem for pudding.

Full of surprises.

(May you find the person who will eat your pickles)

[dagonetsclippedthreads]

Merlin hadn’t missed Pride since he moved to London. It was always fun, often solemn. They’d lost so many friends over the years.

Merlin’s grief had been weighing heavily on him. It was always there in the background, like a dull ache most of the time. But this was his first Pride without Harry and he was taking it pretty hard.

There was a part of him that wanted to stay home.

Harry would tell him to stop being so dramatic, drama was Harry’s job.

Merlin straightened his rainbow kilt, Harry’s favourite, and made his way to Oxford Street alone.

[dagonetsclippedthreads]

(Based on real life events 🦷)

Michelle came home from her late shift to find Eggsy finishing off the dishes. He looked a little harried.

“Everything okay?”

“You might wanna go kiss Daise good night.”

Daisy always waited for mum to tuck her in.

“Thought you was the tooth fairy.”

“Aw, babe, you lost your first tooth?!”

It was a big moment in Daisy’s little life. Michelle thought back to when Eggsy lost his first tooth, it wasn’t long after Lee had died.

Michelle did a quick mental inventory of her purse contents, she was pretty sure she had a penny.

Nobody carried cash these days.

[dagonetsclippedthreads]

Sequel to this

Paging @noelaborate

“Wanna come back to my place?” Rachelle asked. “It’s a bit cramped in here.”

***

“It’s Rachelle, by the way,” Rachelle said, then sucked a bruise on Roxy’s inner thigh as she recovered from her orgasm.

“Huh?” Roxy asked dumbly, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on Rachelle’s ceiling.

“You called me Michelle just now. You did it at the club earlier, too.”

Oops. “Oh. Sorry about that.”

Roxy felt Rachelle shrug. “I’m used to it by now. People are always getting my name mixed up. Im either Michelle or Rachel. Rarely get Rachelle.”

***

Roxy really needed to get her shit together.

[dagonetsclippedthreads]

Inspired by this. For @noelaborate

(Shhh It’s never too early for Halloween)

Undercover at a Halloween school event was one of Roxy’s weirder missions. The theme was Addams family so she went in her best pinstripe suit, slicked up hair and drawn on eyeliner pencil moustache.

the mission was at Daisy’s school which meant that Eggsy’s family was there.

She should’ve known Eggsy’s mum (whom she’d never met despite having spoken to her on the phone on V-Day) would be dressed as Morticia. And that she’d be hot as hell.

Staying true to character, Roxy kissed Michelle’s hand. “I’m blinded by such beauty…”

“You should see me in my Grease costume.”

Michelle’s Grease costume:

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Michelle was always singing. In the shower, in the car, when she was washing dishes. Roxy had gotten to know almost every Roxette, Bangles, Spandau Ballet, 80s Gen X banger thanks to her girlfriend’s humming.

There was one tune she didn’t recognise.

“What’s that you’re singing?” Roxy asked, snuggling Michelle from behind while she was ironing Daisy’s school dresses.

“Oh, just a little ditty I used to do back in the day,” Michelle answered. Thankfully she had the good sense to turn the iron off before Roxy’s snuggling became too distracting. Metaphorical fires were fun. Real ones? Not so much.

@noelaborate

(The song Michelle was singing. She’s so cute here I can’t deal 😭)

[dagonetsclippedthreads]

Goes with this

@noelaborate

Anyone wanna fan cast Rachelle? I was kinda picturing Sarah Snook.

“you’re fucking insane.”

***

Roxy thought if she met the person to go with the voice she obsessed over then she might calm down.

Unfortunately, Roxy was sure the word milf was invented solely for Michelle.

***

Roxy’s self-delegated mission was simple: find a tall, blonde woman in her early-forties (give or take), bed them. Then she might calm down.

***

Rachelle (ha) wasn’t tall or blonde enough and five years too young.

With her skirt hiked up, in the club’s loos and Rachelle’s hand in her knickers, if she closed her eyes, Roxy could almost pretend it was Michelle.