dailymanners - Tumblr blog

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honestly, being rude in general (especially if the other person didn’t do anything wrong or they didn’t intentionally want to piss you) is a no no

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I don’t usually do autobio comics but lately some difficult things have been on my mind that I felt like I should share.

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Some of y’all act like basic manners, general human decency, and kindness to others is SO MUCH emotional labor. I don’t like that shit.

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Wait your turn, respect the queue, don't cut in line or in any way shove past those already waiting before you.

People started queuing based on the order of who arrived first for a reason, and that's because it's a lot safer than having a system where people just shove and fight to be first. But the safer system only works if everyone (or almost everyone) agrees to respect it and abide by it. If enough people just cut in line or shove past those already waiting before them we risk adopting a more dangerous system of just shoving or fighting to be first. This would be especially bad for children, elderly people, disabled people, and anyone else who could stand to lose out more on a system of shoving and fighting instead of a fair system of waiting your turn based on the order of who arrived first.

*the exception to respecting the queue being of course severe medical emergencies, especially if it's a matter of life or death. Anything short of someone's health or safety being on the line, respect the queue, let those who were there first go first.

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If you go to the gym, wipe down your equipment after using it and always return weights or any other equipment back to their designated spot after using it.

Not only is it unhygienic and unsanitary to leave your sweat on public equipment that others are going to be using, nobody likes sitting or laying on a gym bench that's sticky from other people's sweat, and it's only worse if you have sensory issues. As far as putting the gym equipment back to its proper designated spot, a lot of the weights are heavy making them difficult to move, which makes for an extra difficult and strenuous cleaning up for the staff at the end of the day if there are a lot of weights and other pieces of equipment they have to move back to their proper spot. Additionally leaving weights laying about on the ground is a tripping hazard.

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‘Don’t be like that!’

Poster reminding people to give up their seats to the elderly or other passengers in need (1957). Artwork by K. Ivanov.

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Always use your turn signal

Cars are several tons of metal moving at very high speeds, even though they're such a normal part of every day life they can be very dangerous or deadly when not used consciously. When you have several tons of metal moving at high speeds it makes it safer for everyone if we know which direction it's about to go, as being aware where the car is about to go reduces accidents and pedestrian/cyclist getting struck by cars.

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Of course good queuing etiquette isn't just for gentlemen, good queuing etiquette is for everyone ;)

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It's especially important when using shared public spaces to tidy up after yourself. Wash your own dishes in the work kitchen instead of leaving them for someone else to wash. Don't litter or just leave your trash sitting somewhere.

Sure, a lot of these shared public spaces usually have staff designated with keeping them clean. But not all public spaces have staff designated for cleaning and tidying it up, and even if they do the staff designated for keeping the area clean and tidy are almost always going to have too many duties to have the time to follow everyone cleaning up after them like a personal maid or a butler. When these areas stay clean it makes it better and easier for everyone to use. On the other hand if a lot of people are making a mess in these shared public spaces and few to none of them are picking up after themselves it makes it worse and more annoying for everyone to use or even renders them completely unusable.

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Gauge your audiences when bringing up a new topic. Avoid bringing up sensitive/NSFW topics unless you know someone well enough to know that they would be okay with you bringing up these subjects in conversation.

Certain topics like drugs, sex, and violence weren't just deemed sensitive/NSFW topics all willy-nilly. These are common topics for people to have trauma around or to be currently having personal struggles with. If you don't know someone well enough to have an idea of their personal struggles and/or what they're comfortable talking about, it's best to avoid bringing up subjects that are common to have trauma or personal struggles with. No need to unnecessarily make other people upset and uncomfortable in what could have just been a lighthearted conversation with a co-worker or classmate.

*the exception being if it's a specific setting that calls for it, such as a sex ed or health class. But in these cases people are warned well ahead of time that these subjects are going to come up, instead of just having these subjects unexpectedly sprung on them by someone who they don't feel fully comfortable around yet, such as a classmate or co-worker.

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Always ask permission before posting a picture of someone else online or just generally posting about them.

Some people don't like having their image or their business all over social media, or they're very cautious or particular about what they want to have on social media. They also might have more serious and personal reasons for wanting to keep their social media presence minimal such as having someone who's been tracking or monitoring them too much who they're trying to avoid giving too much information to.

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When in public areas such as public transportation avoid playing music and videos out loud. If there's a song you really want to listen to or a video you really want to watch but you don't have headphones, it can wait until you get somewhere private.

Phone and tablet speakers aren't exactly the best quality speakers which makes the sounds played out loud on them anywhere from unpleasant to painful to listen to, and this only gets worse if someone has sensory issues. When sharing public areas you need to be mindful that not everyone wants to listen to the same videos or music you do and it's unfair for you to impose your music and videos on strangers in public.

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If you're invited to any sort of social gathering or a get-together, always ask before bringing someone else along with you unless it's already been clearly stated that the invitation is a plus one or that you're free to bring along whoever you want.

If it's a small private gathering of just a few people, then the host might have wanted it to stay small or only have it be the specific people they invited and unexpectedly adding more people can be emotionally straining and exhausting or disrupt what they had planned. For both large and small get togethers there can be limited space and when more people show up than expected this can put a strain on space and resources like food and drinks.

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Respect other people's personal space in public. This includes not standing or sitting too close to strangers when it's not too crowded and you have space to give them a personal bubble, as well as apologizing if you accidentally bump into someone or in any other way accidentally violate their personal space.

Nobody likes feeling like their personal space isn't being respected, and often feeling like your personal space isn't being respected by a stranger can set off warning bells for people and make them feel anywhere from uncomfortable to frightened, because sometimes not respecting personal space can be a red flag that someone has hostile intentions. Of course accidents happen, like accidentally bumping into someone, but apologizing is a good way to show you don't have hostile intentions and that you do respect their personal boundaries.

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Put your groceries with the barcode all facing the same direction when placing them on the conveyor belt at checkouts.

Cashiers will spend most of their working day lifting and turning items of various weights just to find the side where the bar code is located. This can in the long term cause arthritis and other injuries for their arms and wrists. In some grocery stores there are even signs that tell you which direction you should place the barcode.

Many grocery stores have a scanner either in front of the cashier or on the conveyor belt itself, and some use a hand held scanner. If you are unsure just ask them which direction is best, because this can vary between stores.

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Please try and be conscious and aware of where you stand and move in areas with high foot traffic—and, if possible and applicable, please walk in line with whichever side of the path your country is accustomed to driving on. Please also be conscious of your belongings in areas of high foot traffic (umbrellas, luggage, props), as they might hit other pedestrians.

Sidewalk/foot traffic etiquette varies greatly depending on where you are, but generally speaking, it is good to adhere to "lanes", and to keep with the flow of traffic (usually in single file. I've noticed a lot of groups do not file to the side when there is no space to pass, and it forces people to walk off of the foot path, stop walking entirely, or get squished to the side).

This prevents pileups, frustration over being ignored/hit/staggered, and is generally a kind thing to do, especially if there is ample room and someone behind you wants to pass you. It also makes high traffic spaces far more accessible.

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“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”

— Emily Post (1872-1960) American author, columnist