damianian

[damianian]

The headless turtle: Now, I'm not going to say how much of this actually happened and how much didn't, because this is a memory from when I was a small kid, like 5 or 6, and most of my memories often prove to be just pure imagination or dreams that seemed real, so bare with me. Anyways, as I remember it...my dad used to find snapping turtles on the side of the road, pick them up, put them into a trash can that he kept in his car at all times for that specific reason, brought them home, chopped off their heads, and eventually took them apart and cooked them. Well, one time when I was out playing in the backyard, my dad brought one home, no big deal since I was used to this by now. Sidenote, I remember being afraid of them, but also wanting to name them Bowser and ride them into battle, but sadly, my dad wanted a snack more lol. So he chopped off it's head. It laid in the yard for a bit on it's back. And I'm not for sure if I saw the movement out of peripheral, or I just sensed the mf, but I ended up looking at it. It started moving, first time that's happened in my experience, so naturally all those years of potty training were about to go out the window, as I was about to shit all over myself. It started moving so much to where it FLIPPED back over on all fours. And I just remember it standing there for a second, and the neck moved up, almost like the head was staring at me, but there was just this bloody hole/nub/neck thing, but I like...felt it fucking staring at me regardless. And then it started to chase after me, now whether it was moving really fast, or I was moving really slow, the bitch was catching up to me. I remember even changing directions on the headless mutant snapping turtle, and it was still keeping up! So, I climbed up in my little tree house jungle gym thing, and this little shit was still trying to get a piece! Was even trying to get up the ladder at me, even though it couldn't climb but it definitely was still looking at me and trying to get up at me. My dad, fucking APPEARS out of nowhere like Zues or some shit with an axe and chops it in the neck hole and it FINALLY stops moving. Freaky shit. I still don't trust anything dead. Like meat and shit obviously, but dead animals or people? Go fuck yourself. No. Anyways, I asked my dad if that really happened, and he said it did. Maybe not all the details that I remember, he hadn't confirmed all of that, but he also wasn't there for all of it, but he definitely remembers the headless snapper chasing me lol. Fucked up.

[damianian]

List of people that I will always love, even if I never showed it. They all mean something to me, they are special and dear to me. I will always cherish them. I would fight for any of them. I would die for any of them. Maybe I love too easy they might think, but I don't, they deserve my love and so much more. They have done so much for me, even if they don't think so. They are all amazing in their own ways, and honestly if you get the chance, you would be lucky to know them. They are the reasons behind countless smiles. They are different forms of love. They are puzzle pieces to my life. They are the family I chose. Also, I removed their last names for their privacy. (in no particular order btw)

Beverly P

Clint P

Marilyn P

George Y

Beverly Y

Amelia P

Rick P

Chuck P

Mary Ann S

Jerry S

Mitchell S

Nick S

Jack S

Carmen G

Dwayne G

Danielle G

Seth G

Toni B

Stacy B

Brittany B

Marissa B

Cadence M

Bryar M

Amy S

Trent S

Tana S

Peyton P

Trey P

Roselind R

Brady R

Zack R

Alice M

Chandi M

James L

Michelle L

Mac

Scott W

Moana G

Chris W

Estelle B

Miles B

Spencer B

Ben S

Mayur P

Zach B

Luke J

Karma M

Miles W

Whitni W

Ron H

Craig O

Eric F

Josh K

Mandy K

Carol K

Sarah B

Lauren B

Evan B

Trevor R

Nikolai M

Steve M

Brittani S

Courtney M

Buddy R

Matt B

Brandy T

Trish P

Debbie W

Mark J

Sheila J

Brianna W

Gunnar W

Jeremy M

Jesse M

Jay S

Jeremiah E

Ryan K

Matt R

Cody S

Jeremy McG

Chris O

Tim W

Alex V

Brandon C

Travis C

Stephanie C

Dale

Megan C

Justin G

Nick W

Mikey P

Erica G

Josh R

Josh L

Michael C

Kyd S

Jessica S

Saxston VC

Bruce

Sarah B

Wendy F

Zach R

[damianian]

Random memory: This one time when I was living with my buddy during high school, because I left my dad's house because I was being a dramatic little bitch 🤷. ANYWAYS, I woke up after having a weird fucking LUCID-ass dream about being a wolf or something, and running super fast in the woods at night, and eventually chasing a rabbit. So I woke up from that trippy dream, in my buddy's room on the floor(I could have slept in the basement, but fuck that cave of horrors and unknown sounds). I woke up to hearing his handles on his dresser jiggling barely. Now mind you, we're on the 2nd floor, so if you move even a bit, the whole 2nd floor knows it. So I hear this shit, thinking since it's so faint yet frequent, maybe my buddy was polishing the sausage or some weird shit. So to freak him out, but also confirm my theory I said "Josh?" To which as if I made this shit happen by saying that, the faint shake, became a real shake, then within seconds the whole house was shaking, and I was like "JOSH!?" For some reason still thinking he's behind all this shit! Then out of nowhere, he pops up like that Don't Wake Daddy game, straight undertaker style, and runs out of the room, in a flash of white privilege and tighty whities. And as the house is still shaking and I'm just pretty much accepting the end at this point, the house then returns to normal, and his parents walk in the room scared as hell and ask "are you guys ok?? Wait... where's Josh?" to where I didn't honestly have a fucking answer. At that point, a crack in the earth might have taken him, the giant that created those shakes peeled him like a banana, idfk Carol. But then we look outside, and there he fucking is. Standing in the front yard. In the blue moonlight. Alone. In nothing but tighty whities. Looking like a psychopath. Honestly, great times ❤️😂🤣

[damianian]

The reason for the name: I was adopted, my first full name(before I was adopted) was Ian Thomas Buhr, which lasted a couple of months, before I was adopted. When I was adopted, my mom originally wanted to name me Damian, but then decided to name me after my PaPa (grandpa) George, which is my name now. Well, that, or Jorge', or G. T., Or sometimes just fucking G lol. The blog name though, is just a mixture of the first 2 names that this weird life was proposed with. I just can't help but wonder sometimes, how different my life would have been under different circumstances, even with something as simple as a different name.

Oh, and...

The reason for this blog: It's really just a personal recap of my life. Never had a journal, so fuck it, why not now? If you want to read it, that's on you. It's really just, proof I suppose, that I existed. Whether if this is read by you before or after my death, is all just a matter of fate. Seriously, main reason, I constantly think about death, not only mine, but other's as well, I've been somewhat obsessed with it ever since I was a kid. So, with that being said, I just want to try to get my story out there. Originally thought about doing a youtube, but fuck all that. I'm not seeking attention here, really just want this for whoever ends up coming across it, and for friends and family after I pass. I mean, I may live to be 2,000 years old, or I might die in a few minutes from now, who fucking knows? I just always expect myself to die, so I'm pretty much always ready.

BUT ANYWAYS, enough of that darkness lol. I do dig the simplicity of just writing it all down. It feels almost like my own book, idk. However the reason, since you're reading this, we are now connected. Weird, right? So sit back, and get to know Ian Damian George...