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sir you dont understand. if i dont take off my pants & put on an incredibly large sweater when i get home i’ll die

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I’m very pro-rereading books you loved as a child at different stages in your life

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The other day a man signed up for our advantage card and I asked for his “email” and he looked at me and goes “No?? I have a gmail, I don’t even know what an email is.” And I was just so in awe for a moment and I just smiled and enthusiastically replied “It’s okay that works!” Meanwhile internally screaming.

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A get-rich slow scheme

$10 in quarters for $9.80 with free shipping.

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Today I learned that Van Halen have that rider in their contract about “a bowl of M&Ms with all the brown ones removed” in order to know at a glance if the promoter read the entire contract.  And the reason they do THAT is because they once had a stage collapse because a promoter hadn’t read the proper way to set up all the specific technical stuff.

So if the band goes in the dressing room or catering and sees brown M&Ms, they know they have to double-check the stage setup for safety.

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Dominos with playing cards. (1Italianlurker)

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porno doctor: *trips, breaks hand* AAAAAHHHH!!!!! I JUST BROKE MY HAND!!!!! FUCK!!!!! Guess the only way we can do this prostate exam is if I use my dick

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LGBTQ

Let’s Guillotine the Bourgeoisie Tonight, Qomrades!

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I love images… Sometimes I think I hate them, but then I realize I love hating images too.

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It’s what you do with it.

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Arguing with an Aries

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me after a quiet day in: Time for a quiet night in

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everyone needs to see this

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this is so fucking funny to me (credit @havocs)