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Writing #2

So I have recently been working on my general introduction and researching some different adaptations of The Bell Jar. One thing that I found while researching is that there was a movie made after the book. I was immediately intrigued because I love a good book to movie adaptation but I thought it was a little weird that I couldn’t find the movie anywhere. It was not on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, or Xfinity which is unusual. I did some more looking and noticed that it had terrible reviews. People were complaining that the movie was nothing like the book and went against all the themes in the book. I went onto youtube and found the trailer for the movie and let me just say, they were right. Based on the trailer alone the movie is just using the books title to get people to watch it. After watching that I read some comments on the video and it turns out that there is a remake set out for this year. People were expressing how excited they were that the book would finally get the movie that it deserved. So naturally I had to look it up and see if it was true. Turn out, the people were right but there is something interesting about the movies listed genre.

 It’s listed as a comedy.

 This book is far from being a comedy, it’s practically the opposite. I don’t understand how that is what it is being advertised as. The movie hasn’t had an official release or trailer so I’m hoping that what it is listed as currently will change. It just got me thinking about how readers see things in different ways. Some people might think something is more funny while others might find it sad and haunting. It’s actually crazy how everyone thinks so different but we can, for the most part, live peacefully.

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The Paper

So haven't really been keeping up with the Tumblr posts so here we go. Let’s just say that I was going to do one over the weekend but was scrolling through Tumblr and was sooooooo close to getting a spoiler for Infinity War, so I logged off and had a little freak out after that.

After seeing the movie I am back so I am basically getting closer to the end of my paper. I have a rough draft and an idea of what I am saying but I am going to need to edit it a lot! Some parts I can tell are just all over the place, while others actually make a bit of sense but I think I just need to elaborate on them a bit more. I was honestly so worried about this project and how I was going to have so many pages but at the moment I’m at 10 pages and haven't even finished or edited some of the sections. I might be stressing out or overthinking this whole project but oh well. I think once I start editing I won’t overerthink everything I write because once I start fixing some things I will realize that everything isn't perfect the first time that you write it. It takes time for things to be even moderately good so I don’t know why I keep thinking that it needs to be perfect in my current pre-editing stage. 

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Reasearch is tiring

My research journey has been interesting. I think that the essays have given me an insight in things that I didn’t think of when I was reading the book, but in 2/3 of my criticisms they keep mentioning one thing that I don’t agree with. They both mention that this book should be read along side with a famous Sylvia Plath poem called, Ariel. They keep mentioning that the only way to fully understand The Bell Jar is to read this poem. I thought that I understood and enjoyed the book without reading this poem before or during reading the book. Maybe I can’t comment on this because I have not read the poem but it just doesn’t make that much sense to me how you would have to read a poem go understand the whole book. I think that it might provide more insight but it shouldn’t been seen as a requirement like these authors are suggesting. I don’t really know maybe I will end up reading the poem and agreeing with them but right now I don’t think my views align with them on this part.

One thing that I have loved about my criticisms are that they all talk about feminism and the double standard between men and women during this time period. One thing that they all have mentioned is the idea of virginity. Virginity is something that is still taboo today and is very similar to the ideas back then. Women have to wait until marriage or else they are a slut but when men have sex with a lot of women they are praised for it. This idea has shown in up in all of the critical essays and is a topic that is still relevant today and I would like to explore it more.

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Well the library was probably the most frustrating thing in the world. Let’s just say that the librarians didn’t even know how to use the copiers so how would we know??? At least this librarian let us take a picture with her even though she was very weirded out by us.

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My Final Thought

I just finished The Bell Jar and the ending is not one that I was expecting. I didn’t think that Sylvia Plath would end it with Esther completely back to normal living an amazing life, but I also didn't think that she would end it on what seems to be a cliffhanger. In the end Esther is sitting in the waiting room to attend an interview that could possibly send her our of the mental hospital. The story ends with Esther walking into the interview. At first I was a bit upset that it ended this way. I wanted a solid conclusion and I wanted to know if they let her out that day or if it would take more time, but after some realization I have come to my own conclusion. Throughout most of the novel Esther talks about how she was unable to write when she was sick, but to write this book she had to get better. This book is also based on Sylvia Plath’s life so I am assuming that by her being alive after writing the book, even though it wasn't for long, we can assume that Esther was able to leave that day and write this book. So the more I think about it, the more I like the way this book ended. 

Overall I really enjoyed this book, and I think I learned a lot from it. It was the first book that I have read that dealt with mental health. I have not experienced anything that Esther went through but I can say I got a glimpse into her world and what it must have been like. The book was also very difficult to read at times. I had to keep putting it down when she would constantly talk about suicide and how she just wants to die. It was also hard to read about how they treat people in mental hospitals by giving them shock therapy and the nurses being rude to her. But through all of these dark parts of the book, something always made me want to read more. I got attached to the character of Esther because I kept thinking that I was reading about the author Sylvia Plath. I know that this book is a fictionalized version of what happened to her but certain parts you can tell that this was something that she experienced because of the way that she wrote. I hope to find out if my predictions are correct. 

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My Thoughts #6

I am about to finish the book and one thing that I have noticed is how much of a feminist Esther Greenwood is! It’s something that has come up constantly and it just showed up again so I thought that I should talk about it. So here are some of my favorite quotes that express the idea of feminism. 

“The trouble was, I hated the idea of serving men in any way. I wanted to dictate my own thrilling letters.”

“I was my own woman.” 

“That’s one of the reasons I never wanted to get married. The last thing I wanted was infinite security and to be the place an arrow shoots off from. I wanted to change and excitement and to shoot off in all directions myself, like the colored arrows from a Fourth of July rocket.” 

This book was written in a time when the idea of being an independent woman wasn't as common as it is today. Back in the fifties a woman had only one job, to get married and have kids. There wasn't this idea that you didn’t have to get married. She also talks about the idea that she doesn't want to serve men, she wants to do her own thing. I just love that this was being talked about during this time period. Today we see independent woman as being normal and nothing out of the ordinary. We see strong woman standing up for themselves with the current “Me Too” movement but that wasn't happening during this time period. While reading this book I had to put myself in that time period and realize that these thoughts were not common and Esther is going against society by talking about this. It’s just crazy to think that not too long ago woman were only valued for their ability to have kids and become a housewife. Let me just say I am glad that times have changed. 

Also I just had a thought that this might be influenced by the rosie the riveter movement during world war II, which happened a little bit before this book was written. This might have shown the author that woman can be more than just wives, they can be hard working woman just like men. 

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My Thoughts #5

The title is finally mentioned in the book! Honestly this is one of my favorite parts in reading any work, so I guess this is a post all about the title. 

A bell jar is a type of laboratory equipment used for creating a vacuum and its shape is similar to a bell, hence its name. Sylvia Plath first mentions the title in the last 50 pages of the book when the main character is being sent to a new private mental hospital. She says,”I knew I should be grateful Mrs. Guinea, only I couldn’t feel a thing. If Mrs. Guinea had given me a ticket to Europe, or a round-the-world cruise, it wouldn’t have made one scrap of a difference to me, because wherever I sat-on the deck of a ship or at a street cafe in Paris or Bangkok- I would be sitting under the same glass bell jar, stewing in my own sour air.” The bell jar is being used to represent her feeling of being trapped and not being able to escape her illness. It can also go further than that I think. It doesn't matter is she gets better, she will always be known to others as the girl that tried to kill herself and ended up in a mental hospital. She will always be confined to what other people think of her and everything that she has gone through. She also mentions that it is a glass bell jar which I think is important to her metaphor. Glass allows you to see everything happening on the outside but you are distanced from all of it, it’s holding you back. The main character will see opportunities in her future but will not be able to take part in, only see, because she is trapped in the bell jar of her mental illness, which society usually shuns upon. 

Everyone has their own type of bell jar that they are born into. We are all confined in some type of way to what society thinks of us and no matter how hard we try the bell jar will always hang over us. It might provide us with some air but it will always hang above our heads. 

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My Thoughts #4

I am nearing the end of my book and near the end of the chapter that I am on this paragraph stood out to me. 

“I wanted to tell her that if only something were wrong with my body it would be fine, I would rather have anything wrong with my body than something wrong with my head, but the idea seemed so involved and wearisome that I didn’t say anything. I only burrowed down further in the bed.” 

When we think of an illness we always think of it as something that we can just go to the doctor for get easily diagnosed and given medicine which would help cure the illness after a week. Mental illness is not like that, from what I know. There are so many different forms of it and is not entirely easy to diagnose since it shows up differently in each patient. With it being so hard to diagnose it leads to mistreatment and can result into the patient having more troubles than when they came to the doctor for help. The character seems to have recognized this. She wishes that she was like all the people that she has known that have only had problems with there body, not with their mental state. It’s a cry for help. I know I seem to think that everything in this book is related to Sylvia Plath’s life, but I felt like this was a cry for help from her. She expresses her feelings but directly pushes back on it by saying, “but the idea seemed so involved and wearisome that I didn’t say anything.” It’s sad to think that she wishes that she would give anything and take another condition so that she doesn’t have to go through what she is going through now. 

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My thoughts #3

These last couple chapters have been extremely hard to read. Throughout these last chapters the main character Esther has been attempting many suicides. The thing is that she doesn't just mention that she attempts a suicide she tells the reader exactly what she is doing. She also just kind of blurts it out like it’s nothing to her. She just says, “That morning I had tried to hand myself”, and proceeds to give every detail of how she did it. By providing all of these details it’s allowing us, the readers, to know that this is something that she will never forget. She can picture this day perfectly like it happened only a couple of hours ago. The part that is the most haunting is that this might be something that Sylvia Plath attempted. These details might be from her own suicide attempts, which makes it even more heartbreaking. 

One of her suicide attempts really stuck with me. It was one of Esther’s first attempts and she starts it off by saying, “That morning I had made my start”, and since this was one of her first attempts it was a foreshadow that there will be more attempts in her life. She then goes into extensive detail about how she started the attempt and her feelings throughout the whole thing. The part that stuck out for me was near the end of this passage when she says, “I thought of getting into the tub then, but I realized my dallying had used up the better part of the morning, and that my mother would probably come home and find me before was done”. This is what stopped her, the thought of the heartbreak that her mom would endure was what stopped her. The way it ends devastates me when she says, “...that my mother would probably come home and find me before was done”. I can just picture this all in my head and how hard that must be for any parent especially in today’s society when suicides are a real problem. It also stuck with me because Esther realized that not only would this hurt her, this would hurt others in her family, it was a problem that was greater than her.  But this idea seemed to wear off because there are plenty more attempts throughout the next couple of chapters but there is always something stopping her and this is one of the only times that she mentions it. It’s hard to read these parts of the book to say the least. 

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Taking a turn

About halfway through the book, it takes a dark turn. Esther has gone downhill and is now receiving shock theory due to doctor recommendation. It’s so crazy to me that this was considered treatment during the time that the book was written in. I just don’t understand how that was known as “treatment” even though it just hurts the patient more. The character has also mentioned suicide many times and it’s so painful to read a character that is suicidial but what makes this even more painful is that this is based on the authors life who died from a suicide. It’s so heartbreaking that people hit such a low that they decide to end their life. It hurts my heart to say the least. At least this book is giving me insight into the mind of someone who is suffering with mental health problems so I can educate myself on what it’s like since I have not experienced it.

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My first thoughts

Nothing has really happened in the bell jar so far, it has mainly just been getting to know the character of Esther. She moved to New York and doesn’t really feel at home. She distances herself from many of the other girls that she is living with and almost puts away her dislike for New York. Many times she has stated that she doesn’t like it and feels uncomfortable there but she puts those feelings away because she knows that people would kill for the position that she is in. I was reading something the other day about a trauma doctor that said that this is one of the main things that trauma victims do. They come in and say, “well someone has it worse than me so I can’t complain” or “this isn’t that bad. People have it way worse”. Esther is doing this exact thing. She is disregarding her feelings just because she has it good. Just because you are in a position that many other people would love doesn’t mean that you can’t feel uncomfortable and don’t want to go through with your work. From the books description it is about her downfall into insanity so I am wondering if this is the start or if this is just a small factor.

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The Bell Jar

When I was looking for a book I knew that I wanted to read something that not many people might think of reading. I was searching for a long time and compiled a list that was way to long of books that might interest me. When I went back on that list I really never found one that stood out to me, until I saw The Bell Jar. I was interesting in a book that was about something that I know little about, so I could gain a better understanding of the topic explored, in this book that is mental illness. After talking to people about it and realizing that we had read a Sylvia Plath poem before, which was my favorite poem that we read, I knew that this was the book for me. I know that this book is going to be difficult to read due to the hard topics that the character explores, but I still know that in the end I will have a better understanding of someones thoughts and feelings that are going through all of this. I am also interested in how this relates to Sylvia Plath life and am excited to explore this since I find it interesting when authors use their real life as inspiration for fictional stories. 

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Indie write #5- observation #5

Natural history museum

On the first floor of the museum is the marine life floor. There are so many things to look at. The room is packed and all around are different skeletons and preserved marine animals. Kids are going crazy, but a particular corner catches my eye. What catches my eye is an aquarium. It looks normal at first, but once you look closer at it it's an aquarium that is full of plastic that looks like coral reef. Everyone is walking past it like it's nothing, but I can't help and stare at it. This is what we have come to, a world where plastic is going to ruin our oceans and no one seems to care. It makes me sad to think about this.

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Indie write #5- observation #4

Washington memorial

Okay first of all, this monument is huge! Around the monument stands a bunch of American Flags. People are taking pictures all around, and it smells like freshly cut grass. Behind the monument are a bunch of people playing various sports or having a picnic. This is a very inviting area, and I think that's what the builders intended. George Washington wanted America to be an inviting place. It's also very interesting that his monument isn't a statue of him, but instead is a giant building. You would think that him being a founding father and true first president they would have a statue of him, right?

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Indie write #5-observation #3

The national archives

Walking around looking at the declaration and the constitution is kind of crazy. When you walk in, it's a dark room with lights only over the different documents. When you finally are able to see them people are helping each other figure out the words and whose signature is whose, since it's very hard to read. But what really weirded me out is that these two documents drastically changed our lives and it was only because of a group of people. Looking at these documents it's hard to read but looking at them you just realize that these documents are the reason that we are here in this country today.

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Indie write #5- observation #2

Lincoln memorial

On the outside the memorial is huge. It's lined with marble columns all around, but on the inside is a statue. A statue with a president that changed the course of history, Abraham Lincoln. He is sitting in a chair face outward. People are taking pictures and are very nice about letting everyone have a turn at taking them. On the sides of the memorial is the Gettysburg address. When you look in the direction that Lincoln is pointed at you see the reflecting pool and on the other side is the Washington monument. People are sitting on the stairs just taking it all in. It's a beautiful site, especially at night. In the water you can see a reflection in the Washington monument and just behind us you is the Lincoln memorial. D.C. is just truly breathtaking.

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Indie write #5- observation #1

Air and space museum

People are taking pictures everywhere, and it's hard to move around. There is a smell of popcorn from the stand right outside of the entrance. Looking around all you see are planes, and ships. All different sizing and colors, from different time periods, but they all have one thing in common. History. Everything in here has made an impact on our lives. John Glen, the Wright Brothers, Amelia Earhart, all impacting our lives and are now on display at the museum. I always wonder what will be put in next? First mission to mars, or maybe even the planes that we fly in today. It's weird to think that one day all o the things that are normal to us might be put on display for others to look back on.