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the box says “four servings” but my heart says one
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I thought of texting you “good morning, I can’t sleep” and then I remembered that you are on a journey which I am not a part of and that’s okay but good morning I can’t sleep
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Conversation
someone else: *makes a mistake*
me: don't worry buddy! it is not a big deal! we can fix this! we'll figure it out!!
me: *makes a mistake*
me: i am irredeemable worthless garbage and i want to die
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Sorry I was speeding, officer. I was listening to Mumford and Sons and the banjo solo came on.
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I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms
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