dans1earring

[dans1earring]

Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.

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i love that dan and phil are really private about their relationship except when they’re playing card games on their gaming channel

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We used to have goth girls in every animated show. They wouldn't let you make a cartoon from 90-00s without at least one goth chick.

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“laughter is the best medicine” WRONG. hormone replacement therapy.

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something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch

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i'm trying to flirt with this noblewoman but she keeps asking me to demonstrate my flawless sword technique and i don't think she realizes how much effort i'm putting in to make my tits bounce while doing so

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A panda sitting in a pool twiddling its legs 

(Source)

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apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

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yeah I have a slur to say

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Today a very friendly Golden Retriever came up to me and I said "hey buddy :D" and the owner asked "do you know each other?" like his dog had a social life he didn't know about

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pj & phil's doppelgangers (2025 // 2023 // 2021)

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tongue thing

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Horrible thumbnail guys <3 fucking made me jump

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what if we were the hottest internet duo of 2009... and we were both girls...??

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shoutout to flags that look like landscapes fr gotta be one of my favorite genders

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you are so annoying (affectionate)