daraamsel

[daraamsel]

high asf off these delicate wind chimes

[daraamsel]

one william dollars isnt even that much money anymore due to the flation

[daraamsel]

“does this character eat pussy” poll and it’s your full name first middle and last under an unflattering candid picture of you having a bad experience at the grocery store

[daraamsel]

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

[daraamsel]

Ever since I was a little girl I always wanted to get hit by a car in a way that would make me a lot of money

[daraamsel]

honestly i never thought the phrase “i want that twink obliterated” was like a sexual thing. like when i read the phrase i imagine “a meteor like the one that killed the dinosaurs is summoned from the heavens and hits the twink in question” type situation

[daraamsel]

[daraamsel]

You may think it cruel but when a white witch pisses me off I go through her etsy listings for native bird feathers and forward it to fish and wildlife services

[daraamsel]

Mutuals line up I'm giving you all one of these bad boys

[daraamsel]

im gods weakest faggot

[daraamsel]

I say "oh don't worry he doesn't bite" and you're confused because you don't see any dog but then you notice a single inchworm moving purposefully across the floor towards you at an alarming pace

[daraamsel]

notice how it's "with mama" and not "with papa". even in a fake cutesy tumblr scenario, she took the fucking kids. <- what I imagine i'd be posting as a divorced dad on tumblr

[daraamsel]

It’s funny how sacabambaspis is like the funniest looking animal in every hypothetical except for that one picture that makes me feel like I’m about to be killed

[daraamsel]

dino saurs were not scary monsters they were mamas with eggs and when they drank water they were like fuckk yessss waterrrr

[daraamsel]

ok so being a parent IS really hard but not the way you think. well its probably hard the way you think but its ALSO really hard because my toddler pronounces peanut butter like "peepee yaya". and see, because he learns from me, i can't say "peepee yaya", no matter how much i want to, because i have to teach him that it is actually pronounced "peanut butter". and dont even get me started on how he pronounces "shaun the sheep" (shit the shit)

[daraamsel]

the biggest epistemological gap between me & 95% the rest of the world is literally just how much i love to look things up on the internet and how much it baffles me when other people don't like to do this. we live in the information age. like i'll google anything i'll read this bmj paper on the toilet i'll look up words i don't know i'll append pdf free to any possible phrase. i don't know how anybody is voluntarily turning this down. sometimes i get so tired of searchinf for something physically inside a store i pull out my phone and google like silken tofu aldi what fucking aisle while im standing right there. otherwise what is even the point

[daraamsel]

staying warm and dry on mama