darciacus - Tumblr blog

[darciacus]

Fucking Good Omens fanfic cooded!!!!

[darciacus]

when the human 2.0 patch rolls out i think people with uvulas should lay eggs rather than keeping them up in there

[darciacus]

Dear Chuck, do you have any DM tips for a fellow world's greatest author, who is pretty new to DMing Dungeons and/or Dragons?

sure buckaroo as buckaroo DM for 33 years i have a few tips here you go

instead of obvious 'have fun' that everyone says (which is very important too) i will opt for this: make sure every encounter especially trot of combat is more than just ONE thing. if it is a battle against a flying manticore then put it on moving train. if it is chase put it during the town parade

sometimes combat is random but with an encounter that is more DESIGNED i always think of them as SET PIECES like from film. so maybe there is an underground lava temple but combat happens in room with levers that need to be held down to keep lava from rising, do players attack or hold lever? does each lever have a different lava speed value? does each lever have a lock with a different puzzle or key? trots like that

this also EVEN goes for just standard talks with characters they encounter. if talking to suspicious barkeep, give the barkeep TWO secrets but only one pertains to parties interests

so that is my advice, create encounters with at least two unique elements that create an unexpected cocktail for players

[darciacus]

my kuchipatchi plush comes to life to help me

[darciacus]

I drew the gang,

[darciacus]

[darciacus]

[darciacus]

There's no fucking way they just named their new sonic game "Sonic X Shadow". They're literally making me type "sonic x shadow" into the steam search bar to see this game I literally can't even comprehend this. Mom can I get the new sonic game for christmas sure little timmy whats it called? Okay let me just type "sonic x shadow" into the google search- . . . timmy . . .

[darciacus]

Shout out to the ten primate species, four bat species, elephant shrews, and the Cairo spiny mouse. Nobody else gets it

[darciacus]

[darciacus]

Shoutout to the toxic yuri going on in House where a patient let her girlfriend give her part of her liver despite the fact that she was planning to leave her because "she got bored of her," and the girlfriend knew the patient was planning to leave her but gave her the liver anyway so that she'd be trapped in the relationship out of guilt

[darciacus]

i live in the most haunted house in the northern hemisphere because i keep buying cursed dolls and cracking them open like pistachios to release the ghosts inside em. see i've got this business idea and it's to unethically harvest their ectoplasm and sell it in little jars like honey. unfortunately i've hit a snag, namely that ectoplasm tastes like shit and also if you ingest it you permanently lose the capacity to feel joy. so now i've got a bunch of unsatisfied customers who are literally impossible to please banging on my door at all hours. it doesn't really matter though because the ghosts are already constantly slamming all my doors and cabinets so it's just a wall of sound in here at all times anyway. i'm pretty sure i've got tinnitus now but on the upside i've got this new business idea where i repair old dolls with kintsugi and sell them at a ridiculous markup to etsy women in cuffed corduroy pants.

[darciacus]

why is deciding what to eat so exhausting. I JUST figured that out several hours ago and now I have to do it again?? why can’t I be like a gila monster and eat a large meal and be good for a few months

[darciacus]

[darciacus]

adjacent advice: if you need more confidence, get a cool jacket or a haircut or something and think about how cool it makes you. this is loser advice, but we're all losers here. swallow your pride and roleplay as a cool guy and you'll become a cool guy.

[darciacus]

"what do I do if I have theories" will always be the fucking funniest reddit post