dareeta-crillark-blog

[dareeta-crillark-blog]

hiatus.

yup.

i'm not sure whether to call this a hiatus or a permanent leave, but eh.

i haven't blogged here since july.

and this might just be goodbye.

i used to love being in the fandom. one or two years ago. everyone got along. i actually brought my joy. it was home. i loved it so much, i really did.

now everything has changed.

when i was still active in the fandom, i already thought about leaving. the glee fandom was slowly beginning to become torture for me. i had to keep my opinions to myself since you'll get attacked if you state yours. people keep getting attacked even if they did nothing wrong, they just became themselves. i kept wondering if i would be next. i have a huge fear of rejection, and the thought of getting hate scares me like no other.

everyone was whiny and they keep hating on RIB or each other. i became more and more uncomfortable while tweeting. some people even changed so everyone will accept them. the ship wars were getting crazier. everyone only thought about their otps. it made me sicker and sicker.

it doesn't feel like home. my home was ripped apart. it's gone.

watching glee is not fun anymore. fandom ruined season 3 for me because every time i finish an episode and then i go to twitter, my mood keeps getting ruined with hating. i want to watch glee like i used to. when i actually had fun watching it, and i anxiously wait for the next episode every week, wondering about what will happen to everyone. i miss it when i was a normal viewer, just a huge fan of glee, not a part of the fandom where i have to care about my otp and the actor i stan. when i was a gleek and not a klainer.

it seems like that's what the fandom is about now, otp and favorite character and favorite cast. it's not about glee anymore.

i saw one of my favorite fanartists even stopped to create glee art because of the fandom. you know leeminkyo? i used to check her tumblr evey few days, and now she doesn't want to draw klaine anymore. because of the fandom.

one day, after something happened, i finally clicked and deleted my twitter without notice. life went on as usual. i keep tweeting from my personal twitter instead.

and then i noticed, after i deleted my twitter i'm not as angry as i used to be. when i had my fan twitter, i keep getting angry at people and get depressed, now not so much.

i joined another fandom which is the owl city fandom, and life has been good. over there is quite peaceful and quiet and there's not much hating. i feel more comfortable there without any restraints to be myself. i found my home again.

i'm almost 100% sure i'm not going back, although i do log into twitter every few weeks to not let my account permanently delete. maybe i won't use twitter anymore but i will still use tumblr. i won't delete this tumblr, i'm just going to leave it like this. i can't bring myself to delete it.

i am thankful for everyone who knew me, talked to me, and were friends with me. thank you. i'll never forget you. i can never mention all of your names, but you know who you are. especially people who followed me from when i was hikarinanao and hikari_nanao on twitter. you guys rocked my world. thank you so much for the memories, bitter or sweet.i love you. please take care of yourself.

if any of you still wants to contact me though, go to my owl city tumblr bomb-shell-brunette or my personal tumblr chocohika. i'm more often on my oc tumblr, so you know which one to contact. my ask box is always open. leave me an ask and tell me you're a gleek from this blog. if you are indonesian you can mention me at abigailrldn_s. if i knew you from the fandom i'll definitely respond back.

i don't know if i'll ever change my mind. maybe someday. i honestly don't know.

until then, farewell.

xoxo

-hika

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aka

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aka

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Darren discussing the 50 Shades of Grey quote “never trust a man who can dance”.

(x)

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Japanese shoot with the watermark photoshopped out. (x)

Remember not to mention the photographer or any of them could be taken down due to legal notice.

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“Writing this novel was a promise I made to myself when I was ten years-old.”

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Have your daily laugh-gasm here!

[dareeta-crillark-blog]

BABY kfjsjdjajsahdjadksj

i wuvv you so mwuuuucchh ok you're one of the few people at school who are "one of my kind" (iykwim) and i just realized that gonna miss you so much omfg

YOU MUST TWEET ME AT LEAST ONCE PER THREE DAYS OR I WILL SPAM YOU WITH LITERALLY GRAPHIC PORN. NO KIDDING. I WILL TWEET YOU LINES FROM THE KINKIEST KLAINE SMUT THERE IS (aka mine) UNTIL YOU REPLY ME K

take care at gonz and you are now obligated to tweet or bbm me a picture of your next boyfriend just because. you're always welcome to talk to me if you need anything k!! if you don't talk to me or sth if we meet somewhere coincidentally or not i'm going to slap your ass and pour melted chocolate over your precious hair.

and that "HP ended and Glee will eventually come to an end" part actually made me want to cry wow I have no life

oh and yaaay thank heavens you liked the gift!! i was kinda scared when i bought it because i was afraid you already had one but i'm glad you liked it. think of it as something you can remember me by or sorts :')

bottom line i know we don't talk much irl but i value our conversations on twitter a lotttt ok you're one of the few who actually understand what i talk about and you're just skjshgkjaslgjhf you're juST SO SPeCIAL IN MY HEArT K AND I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING LIFE AHEAD

anyways i'll see you around :)))))))

-h <3

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