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Phil Noto study / Nirami Emotion Challenge with my favorite Real Boy™️

Larger versions under the cut:

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A Dream (that can’t come true) [Daredevil fic]

Or, Milla Donovan’s perspective in Daredevil vol. 3 #18

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Time slips through her fingers, it’s hard to keep track.  She knows she’s been sick for a long time.  She knows she’s done things.  Bad things.

No, don’t gloss over it.

She knows she’s killed people.

She knows she knows, but she can’t be sure, can’t be sure of anything.

It’s not her house.  It’s not the house she had with Matt.  It’s not the home they built for themselves.  She’s not supposed to be in any house at all. 

She gets up to look around, awkward, stumbling, like that girl she’d gone to classes with.  She’d been losing her sight progressively for about a year, and her parents were always hovering.  She cried, twice where Milla could hear, and Milla had laughed at her once, when she tripped over her desk.  She feels bad about it now.  She understands better, what it must have been like, to lose something you counted on all your life, to feel weak and helpless for the first time.

Why can she remember that when she can’t remember—

Time slips through her fingers.  She slips through the fingers of time.  She remembers she can’t remember.  It’s jumbled and soft, indistinct, muffled.  She’s not sure whether it’s her sickness that makes it that way, or the drugs they gave her.  She doesn’t know how she got here.

She feels around the… room?   It’s not familiar.  She doesn’t remember it at all.  She was in a hospital.  There were nurses, and soft voices, condescending.  Her legs are weak, wobbling.  They kept her arms strapped to her chest and rolled her in a wheelchair.  She doesn’t remember how often she’s allowed to walk on her own.  They used to let her do it more, she thinks.  They used to use less medicine.  They underestimated her, even with all the people she killed just at first.  They didn’t think a blind woman could be dangerous.  But Matt taught her, for her protection, for fun, and the sickness made her fast and vicious. 

She doesn’t remember how many incidents there were.  She doesn’t know how many people she hurt, or if she killed anyone else.  But they stopped underestimating her eventually.

She’s in a room.  She doesn’t know how she got here.  It doesn’t sound like the hospital, it doesn’t smell like the hospital.  She’s in a room and there are things in it and she’s alone.  She thinks maybe she should be afraid, but she thinks she doesn’t know how to anymore.  It doesn’t make sense, but nothing has for a while.

There isn’t a straight jacket and there isn’t a wheelchair and her head feels like it’s spinning and she’s stumbling over herself.   She realizes she has her arms crossed in front of her chest out of habit.  She reaches out.   She finds a wall and leans against it.  She breathes the way Matt used to, slow and steady.  He used to sit cross legged on the floor or on their bed.  She used to come up behind him sometimes, and hook her chin over his shoulder and wrap her arms around him.  He would pretend to be annoyed at being interrupted but she knew he wasn’t really.  And they would sit together like that and she would feel him breathe and breathe.

It helps, the breathing.  She feels steadier after, like she knows how to walk again.

She follows the wall until she finds a closet.  Matt’s clothes are inside.  She finds the tags with the colors written out in braille. It’s been a long time since she had any reason to care about colors, a long time since she was able to dress herself.  She used to like clothes, was proud of having a strong fashion sense.  It fascinated her, the way she was able to create an image for herself and project it out into the world.  She misses it, that sense of power, any sense of power at all, really.

She was never too interested in color, even back then, and she’s forgotten now, everything she knew about them.  But red, she knows, was Matt’s favorite.  Matt cared about colors, a little desperately.  She thinks he would have been louder with them, more expressive, emphatic, if he wasn’t so afraid of messing up.

Why is she thinking of him in past tense? He isn’t dead.  She’s the one who went away.

But his clothes are here, in this room.  And she doesn’t know how she got here, but she’s here now, and that must mean, that must mean she’s where she’s supposed to be.  She’s with Matt.  Of course she’s where she’s supposed to be.

She manages to walk back to the bed without falling over anything, and she lies down again.  She’s so tired just from walking, but it feels so good just to be able to walk again on her own, to be on her own with no one watching.  She misses Matt, though.

He’ll be home soon.

She realizes what this means.  Things slip past her, the passage of time, memories.  But she is in a new place and it has Matt’s things, and she can put two and two together.  She got better.  Or she’s getting better, anyway.  The hospital let her out and she’s with Matt again.

”I’m home,” She says, “I’m home with Matt.  I’m home.”

She repeats it to herself until knowledge solidifies inside her, impervious to all confusion and forgetting.  This is the one thing that matters, and she remembers so little, but she knows what’s important.  The joy of it fills her up until she feels as though she could float away.

But she can’t do that, of course.  Matt will be home soon.

The door opens, and it’s Matt.  She doesn’t know how she’s certain, but she is.  He’s her husband, she’ll always recognize him.

He doesn’t say anything.

”Matt?” She says, “Matt, is that you?”

He still doesn’t say anything.  Is he hurt?  Is something wrong?  Can he tell, somehow, that she’s forgotten?

She needs to be very normal and very calm.  Especially if there’s something wrong, she needs to be alright so she can help him, so he doesn’t have to be worried about her.

“Matt, you’re scaring me.  What’s wrong?” She says, urgent but not frantic.

He’s still just quiet.  She‘s always hated that, the way he gets quiet sometimes, and he can observe her, down to hearing her very cells multiply it seems like sometimes, and she can get nothing from him in return.  He always gets quiet when he wants not to upset her, and it always has the opposite effect.

“Matt, say something,” she says. 

”Stop.  Just… stop,” he says, and he sounds… he sounds… “Milla, how did you get in this apartment?”

(She doesn’t know how she got here)

That doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t. He’s here and she’s home, that’s the only thing that matters.  She knows that.   She’s sure.

“How… I live here, Sweetheart,” She says.  Matt gets confused too, sometimes.  It’s fine.  She is calm and normal, and she can be sure of it for both of them.  It has to be fine.

”Matt, you’re frightening me.  Come here, put your arms around me.  Please,” she says, because she needs him to.  He needs him to hold her, at least once, just in case it’s not fine.  But he just backs away from her, back to not saying anything but at least he’s letting her hear him move, “Why won’t you?”

“Milla… Honey…,” he says, and his voice is horribly, awfully gentle, “You can’t be here.  They’ll think I took you.  I could be disbarred.  I could go to jail.”

No no no no no no no no.

She’s here.  She’s here. She’s supposed to be here.  She’s with Matt, in Matt’s home.  That makes it her home.

What, does he think she walked here by herself?  She can barely walk across the room.  The hospital was full of nurses, full of doctors.  He couldn’t take her.  No one could take her.

She was wrong before.  She can be afraid.

It’s fine.

Maybe if she pretends hard enough, it will be fine.

“Took me,” she says, “You’re making no sense.  This is our home, Sweetheart!”  He’s here and she’s here, and that makes it home.  That’s the only thing that matters.

She can feel the sickness coming.  She can, sometimes.  She’s scared, and being scared is dangerous.  Matt’s here.  Everything is alright.  She’s getting better, she has to be.  She needs to be calm.

”You’re right, Milla,” He says, “Never mind.  I’ve just…  I’ve got a headache.”

Does that mean concussed?  He’d better not be brain damaged.  One of them needs to be  able to think straight in this relationship.  Still, the relief washes through her.  She was right.  She’s home, and everything will be okay.

“Let me make some tea,” he says, “I’ll be right there, and everything will be just fine.”

She believes him.

He hands her a mug of tea and sits next to her in the bed with all his clothes still on.  The tea is hot, just under a boil, and the mug is ceramic.  She could burn someone with the tea, she could break the mug and use the shards as weapons.  But it’s alright.  She’s allowed to have real tea in a real mug because she’s getting better, and she’s home.

She can taste the medicine in the tea, but that’s alright.  She trusts Matt.

She’s not afraid, as consciousness leaves her, because she’s in bed next to her husband, and everything is as it should be.

She wakes up and she’s in the hospital.

Of course she is.  None of it was real.  Of course it was all a dream.  She is never getting better, she knows, she knows.  But it’s hard to remember.  She doesn’t want to.

She cries and cries until the nurses come.

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Daredevil vol. 2 #74 by Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev, Dave Stewart, and Cory Petit

This issue of the "Decalogue" story arc introduces Lynn, one of Milla's coworkers at the Hell's Kitchen Housing Commission and the Maid of Honor at her and Matt's wedding. "Decalogue" is framed as a conversation between ordinary citizens whose lives have all been affected, in one way or another, by Daredevil; in Lynn's case, she lost her daughter to a horrific encounter with supernatural forces from which Daredevil couldn't save her. That is the focus of the issue, but Bendis also takes time to weave in some wonderful scenes with Milla, including the one above.

Milla is not a superhero in the traditional sense, but her introductory run places great emphasis on her power as a quieter form of hero: someone who cares deeply about the people around her and works within her own abilities to make the world a better place. Her job at the Hell's Kitchen Housing Commission is front and center to her character; we are shown again and again that she knows the neighborhood intimately and is passionate about helping its most vulnerable residents get the resources they need. And this scene is another, smaller extension of that aspect of her character. It is neat to see her operating, as it were, as a member of Team Daredevil: hearing a cry for help and quietly calling her superhero partner to come do his thing. But I also love that we then get this quiet page of Milla taking Lynn home, holding her hand while she cries, performing this equally important, human side of superhero work while Matt is out doing the rescuing.

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Daredevil Vol. 2 Issue 41 (2003) Bendis/Maleev

Milla Donovan's first appearance, just before she nearly gets hit by a truck and is saved by Daredevil.

There are a handful of blind characters in Daredevil - of course including Matt himself - but most of them have some supernatural means of navigating the world. Matt has his super senses, Stick has training that seems to give him similar abilities, Blindspot regains some level of vision via a sacrifice to the Beast. This doesn't necessarily negate their disability, at least not when written well, but it can easily fall into the trope of 'the magical cure': writing off a disability as not mattering due to a fantasy environment, advanced science, magic, etc. This is usually done as a 'happy ending' for the character - because, apparently, disabled people cannot be happy while still being disabled. In Matt's case, his enhanced senses and especially his radar sense are used more as a plot device to explain how he can be a typical superhero character. This is not inherently a bad thing, especially when writers make it clear that Matt is still disabled, but the history of Daredevil is rife with ableism, so Milla is in many ways a breath of fresh air.

Milla is, at her core, a normal person. She's an excellent character, who is defined as her own person before she even interacts with Matt - and, crucially, is immediately characterised as a strong, independent blind person. She has none of Matt's superpowers, but she is a capable, happy and captivating person. This provides an excellent additional viewpoint for the reader to see that disabled people are perfectly able to live fulfilled lives even without the 'magic cure' or superpowers.

The realistic, casual dialogue in Bendis' run also helps define Milla as a well-rounded character who has depth outside of being just Matt's love interest or just a disabled character. In her first appearance we see her discussing housing for the homeless, already emphasising a personal life and her own political views before we even know that she's going to be a love interest for Matt. This is refreshing compared to many of his previous love interests, who are often initially defined solely by Matt's attraction to them.

Daredevil Vol. 2 Issue 43 (2003) Bendis/Maleev

Milla stands up for herself when Matt tries to turn her down, according to him for her own safety.

Since Milla's debut is soon after Matt's identity has been leaked to newspaper tabloids, she is in the unique (at this point) position of knowing he is Daredevil before they even have a first date. This puts her on a much more even playing field compared to his past love interests, where his secret identity tends to be a cause of tension and drama within the relationship. This is emphasised by Milla immediately standing up for herself when Matt tries to tell her that she'll be in danger if they're together. Although Milla does become a victim many times over the course of her storylines (something I wish would've happened significantly less) this being one of her first conversations with Matt - and the first when he isn't in the middle of saving her life - shows that she is not going to let Matt have all the power. From the very start, Milla has autonomy in their relationship, which is excellent considering both women and disabled people are often denied this both in real life and in fiction.

Daredevil Vol. 2 Issue 46 (2003) Bendis/Maleev

Milla and her friend Lori debate the pros and cons of dating Matt.

Having prior knowledge of Matt being Daredevil gives Milla the chance to make a full, informed choice on if she wants to date him. This scene is after their first date, which is interrupted when Matt is taken in for questioning about a murder case. At this point, Milla is notably unsure about whether a relationship with Daredevil is a good idea - and understandably so, considering that they've barely met and she's already engulfed in the drama of being a superhero - and all of this makes her choice to stick with it have additional weight and meaning behind it.

Although the way she was overly victimised by Daredevil's villains and then written out of the story in an unpleasant way is extremely frustrating to me, I still find Milla to be a wonderful character, especially during Bendis' run on Daredevil. I strongly believe that Daredevil overall should have more disabled characters that aren't super powered, or at least not in a way that allows writers to depict them as essentially fully abled, and Milla is a great example of how that could be done. I hope she comes back eventually, even in just a small way that can provide closure and a better ending to her story.

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Milla Donovan (and a Natasha) by Chris Samnee and Javier Rodriguez

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This upcoming Saturday is Free Comic Book Day! It’s a great opportunity to visit your local comic book store, pick up some free comics, and attend any events they might be holding (many stores have book signings and sales). Please also consider making a purchase or two, as this tends to be a very expensive day for comics shops. For more information, and to find a shop near you, visit the Free Comic Book Day website!

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Stupid question but how do the volumes in comics connect? I normally jump around a lot between arcs so I just assumed each volume is like a reboot. But, starting Zdarsky's run I realised that's not true as it continues on with a lot of previous plot points. So, is it each comic like a super long linear story, designed so you can still start reading at any point but it's still chronological?

Following on from that; what's the best way to read the comics? Cuz reading all Deadpool media is pretty ambitious (tho I wanna try [over the next eternity]). So, how can you stay on top of previous influential plot points, without having a thousand-issue-long reading list?

Currently I'm reading both Volume's 6+1 at the same time as I'm already hooked in Zdarsky's but wanna experience the whole story (baby-steps haha. There's sm to read but I don't just wanna look up a summary, cuz the nuances, writing and art are all just so good!!). Just wondering how people typically navigate reading comics? Idk if that makes any sense, I'm just used to picking issues based on screenshots I see online. So trying to read a whole character is pretty different, if that makes sense.

Thanks for your help and have a nice day!!

Not a stupid question at all! A lot of the process of getting into Big Two superhero comics is non-intuitive (this barrier to entry is an issue that the industry has been trying to solve for a while now), so I'm really glad you're asking.

Marvel doesn't tend to do total reboots the way that, for instance, DC does. There will be occasional retcons of details about a character's past or the events of previous runs (a Daredevil example: Matt's mentor, Stick, was not originally part of his origin story. He was retconned in several decades later, as a way to explain Matt's extreme martial arts skills. One of my other big favorites, Iron Fist, has a lot of lore tied to his backstory, and big chunks of that lore have been altered by various creative teams over the years), but in a very general sense, nothing is erased and everything is in-continuity. The Matt Murdock wearing the "I'm Not Daredevil" shirt in volume 3 is the same Matt Murdock who had his secret identity outed in the press in volume 2, etc. A new volume begins every time the comic gets a new #1 (which has begun happening more and more frequently; Daredevil volume 1 lasted thirty years, but we've gone from volume 3 to volume 8 in just over a decade), and a new creative team might take an approach to the characters/stories that differs greatly from previous runs/volumes, but it is all building on what came before, rather than over-writing it. "Each comic is like a super long linear story, designed so you can start reading at any point but it's still chronological" is a perfect way of putting it.

But, as you said, you can start reading at any point. This is one of the reasons Marvel re-launches their comics with a new #1 occasionally: to give new readers a clear on-ramp to the series (one of the efforts to lower the barrier to entry that I mentioned above). My very first issue of Daredevil was actually #500. I had not a goddamn clue what was going on. But I still had a great time, and it prompted me to seek out more Daredevil comics, which eventually led me to hop onto the current run at the time, and then to back-read all of the previous runs, and the rest is history. The important thing to keep in mind is that there is no wrong way to read a long-running Big Two comic. As you mention, we're talking about a massive number of issues, here, and every fan you ask is going to tell you a different story about where they started and what order they read things in and why. You can start at the very beginning and read all the way through. You can also hop around and read whatever runs look/sound cool to you. It is perfectly normal—and, in fact, I encourage this!—to jump into a more recent run that looks fun, the way you're doing with volume 6, with the understanding that you might not know everything that has happened before and that that's okay. Reading random issues based on screenshots you see online is fantastic (that is, in fact, why people post screenshots of their favorite comics online. Or at least, that's why I do it), and if something comes up that you don't understand, or a character appears who you've never heard of, don't be afraid of looking them up, if only to identify the comic where they originated so you can read it for yourself if you'd like.

I tend to be someone who gets really deeply into the characters/media that I like and so will read/watch everything I can get my hands on about them. When it comes to superhero comics, this means I enjoy going through and reading every single issue. Please note: you don't need to have read every single issue of Daredevil, or of Deadpool, etc. to be a fan! But if you're interested in doing it, I personally think it's a really neat experience to immerse yourself so deeply in the world of a character. One of the things that's incredibly cool to me about Big Two comics is how long they've been around and the fact that you can follow these characters through DECADES of development, watch the world change around them, see how different creative teams added to and reconsidered them...it's great. But it doesn't need to be done in order, and most importantly, it should be fun. If you're reading a run and find you aren't that into it, move to a different one. You'll discover which ones are your favorites, and you'll find what approaches to the characters speak to you the most, and no matter what order you go in, as long as you're having a good time, you're doing it right.

I hope this helps!

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which DD comic run is your favorite and why?

I've answered this before, but the more time goes on, the more I can confirm that the Waid/Rivera/Samnee/etc. (the whole team. All of them) run is my personal ideal take on Daredevil, at least so far. It's the run that got me into Daredevil, so that's definitely a factor in my ongoing fondness for it, but it's also just a really, really good comic. I love how Mark Waid writes Matt. The whole creative team was innovating, from Waid's unique approach to Matt's mental health and introduction of paradigm-shifting new characters like Kirsten McDuffie, to Paolo Rivera's redesign of Matt's cane/billy club and new look for the radar sense, to Samnee's extraordinary fight scenes. The stories are gripping, fun, and meaningful. The action is eye candy, in the best possible way (Waid made himself a goal of having at least one mind-blowingly risky daredevil moment per issue, and it shows.) This is a creative team where you could feel their passion for the comic and characters coming through on every single page. It was an extremely exciting time to be a Daredevil fan, and it has remained a comfort read and one of my go-to recommendations for new fans.

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Daredevil #41 / Guardian Devil pt. 5 : Devil's Despair

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NEXT WEEK!

Milla Appreciation Day 2025

Another year without her means it's time for another Milla Appreciation Day! For anyone new, every May 4th I take a day to celebrate/discuss/geek out about Milla Donovan, who has been trapped in comic book purgatory since 2008. I love when other people participate too (though no pressure, of course!). Please be sure to use the tag #Milla Appreciation Day.

A few things worth checking out in the meantime:

This Milla Donovan reading guide, for anyone who hasn't had the pleasure of meeting her yet or would like a refresher.

The #Milla Appreciation Day tag! I've been holding this event for a number of years now, so there's a lot of wonderful stuff in there, including art, fan fiction, etc.

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PRETENDING TO BE BLIND! PRETENDING TO BE A HERO!

devil's reign (2021) #5

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What do you think about Daredevil: Redemption?

I really like Daredevil: Redemption. It's one of the darkest Daredevil stories out there and is based on a real murder case, which makes it extra haunting to me. Beyond being a tense, gripping legal drama, it is also a powerful examination of Matt's moral code, legal skills, and the delicate balance he tries (and often fails) to maintain between working within the system as a lawyer and circumnavigating the system as a superhero. We see in this story, depicted in meticulous detail, Matt's process of building a case—in this instance, a case in which the odds are stacked against him, the evidence is flimsy and biased, the system is corrupt, and he needs to question and re-litigate everything. In this regard, it's a really compelling look at Matt's skill and persistence as a lawyer, and I love Daredevil stories that focus on that aspect of his character. Yet, Daredevil still appears in this comic, because Matt can't help trying to find that extra-legal solution. He is frustrated by the ways the system is failing his client, and so he puts on the tights. And it doesn't always help. In fact, at one point, it backfires spectacularly, damaging the hard work he has been doing in civvies. And yet, despite throwing every legal trick and tactic he has at this case, his lawyer identity cannot win either. It's a painful comic to read because—just as it so often is in real life—justice isn't guaranteed. Sometimes it comes too late. Sometimes it doesn't come at all.

Daredevil: Redemption #6 by David Hine, Michael Gaydos, Lee Loughridge, and Cory Petit

Matt's primary legal support in this comic is, interestingly, not Foggy, but instead a new character: an intern named Constance, who is a skilled up-and-coming lawyer in her own right but also represents the system as it's meant to be. She has several conversations with Matt about her disapproval of superheroes like Daredevil. She says at one point, "If the justice system is flawed, you don't ignore it, you fix it." And the justice system is flawed—that's what Redemption is all about. In the end (spoilers), a man is executed by the state for a murder he did not commit. He begs Matt to save him, and Matt imagines himself doing it—smashing his way into the room as Daredevil, rescuing his client, fighting his way to freedom. But he doesn't. Is it the right choice, to let the system operate uninterrupted even if it results in a terrible and unjust outcome? The comic doesn't give us an answer, of course, but we're made to think about it, and—more importantly—to see Matt grappling with it. It's one of the defining questions of his life, after all, and I love seeing it explored in such a brutal, urgent way in this comic.

My one complaint about Redemption is the depiction of Jack Murdock as an abusive parent. I know why it's there, it is thematic and ties Matt more personally to issues brought up in the case, but it's a reductive take on Jack and I'm just not a fan.

Thanks for the question!

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Slight spoilers for Born Again (the show)

I hate that they had at least two spots in the show that could've included the other Defenders. The Hector case if they went more comic accurate and the finale, where we see the cast come together to prepare to go againts Fisk in season 2, yet there's no Luke, Danny or Jess, even Melvin would make sense, yet...nothing.

SIGH. Welp, I'm disappointed but not surprised. They have had opportunities for years to include these characters in other MCU projects, and yet here we are. And I do want to be clear—while Luke, Danny, and Jessica in particular are very dear to me (as I said in this post, I've loved these guys in the comics since before these shows were a twinkle in Jeph Loeb's eye, and Iron Fist is my favorite/second favorite Marvel superhero depending on my mood), this is true for pretty much ALL of Marvel television: Agents of SHIELD, Runaways, Cloak and Dagger, Inhumans, The Gifted, Legion... The MCU is so vast at this point that I know, logistically, it is a lot of characters to juggle, but the fact remains that they could easily fit many of them into other shows/movies, or (god forbid!) give them their own damn shows back, but for some inexplicable reason, the only one they've bothered to do this with is Daredevil. Why? Luke Cage and Iron Fist only got two seasons and were cancelled on CLIFFHANGERS, never mind the Heroes for Hire/Nightwing Restorations spin-off show they kept teasing (which would have been freaking amazing). But who cares, right? Instead of dwelling on that, let's stick our special boy Daredevil in a big movie. Let's give him a random romance with She-Hulk, instead of perhaps giving that cameo slot to Hellcat, Jen's close friend from the comics, or to Luke Cage, one of Jen's actual exes. Let's get him an entire new show that's...apparently twice as long as any of the other Disney+ Marvel shows, for some reason?

And look, I shouldn't complain. It's gotten more people to care about a character I love, which is exciting! And I'm very happy for the MCU Daredevil fans. It's just the fact that when it comes to any other characters or shows Marvel seemingly cannot be bothered to make even a fraction of the same effort that is so deeply frustrating.

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Another data point! I just re-read Elektra Lives Again, and I'd forgotten all about this:

Elektra Lives Again by Frank Miller, Lynn Varley, Jim Novak, Steve Miller, and Bob Chapman

(The "I keep my wits about me and stay clean" phrasing almost makes it seem like he's referring to recreational drugs as opposed to medication. It's not entirely clear from the context, and anyway, I think it's still relevant. Here he is taking some valium to de-stress.)

So I think we can conclude, in summary: Matt doesn't like taking drugs, for sensory reasons, but he'll still use them when he needs to.

i’ve read so many daredevil fics, from multiple different authors, that include matt being averse to taking painkillers. it’s so prevalent that it makes me wonder if this is something in canon that i’m unaware of, or just a fanon that lots of people accept. do you know of anything in the comics that indicates this?

Interesting! I can't think where that might have come from. This could just be a memory gap on my part, but I can't recall any instances of Matt mentioning an aversion to taking painkillers, in the comics or elsewhere (it's true that we don't tend to see him use them much on-panel, but we also don't tend to see him brush his teeth or do his laundry, and that doesn't mean he isn't doing it, it just means it isn't narratively interesting). The movie, in fact, was very explicit about the fact that Matt does take painkillers, and here are a few recent examples from the comics as well:

Daredevil vol. 3 #26 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, Javier Rodriguez, and Joe Caramagna

Daredevil vol. 6 #5 by Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto, Sunny Gho, and Clayton Cowles

I think I can see the train of thought, though: maybe Matt would want to avoid medication because he doesn't like what the side effects do to his senses. Or maybe he wants to feel the pain, as a test for himself. Fan fiction is all about exploring fun little questions like that, and I'm happy people are letting their imaginations run free in this way.

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Daredevil vol. 1 #192 by Alan Brennert, Klaus Janson, and Joe Rosen

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“She is ninja. She is death itself”

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Outside of Saint Death (possibly), do we know of any possible future/alternative reality cildren of Matt?

Yes, there are a few! Daredevil: End of Days presented a future in which Matt had children with all of his surviving exes (including, most notably, the one mentioned in this post). And the story "The King in Red" in the 50th anniversary issue introduced Jonathan Franklin Murdock, Matt's shy little hypothetical son with wonky senses and an unspecified mother.