darkacademiaarchivist - Tumblr blog

[darkacademiaarchivist]

Multiple Swords of Damocles hanging over someone's head in the shape of a halo

10 of swords prequel

[darkacademiaarchivist]

[darkacademiaarchivist]

[darkacademiaarchivist]

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

[darkacademiaarchivist]

[darkacademiaarchivist]

I do not want my fantasy media to be realistic. I want my fantasy media to be convincing.

[darkacademiaarchivist]

gwen when she first finds out that lena didn’t succeed in murdering someone: pathetic. embarrassing. you can’t even kill a man with your bare hands? couldn’t be me.

gwen after finding out that she may have inadvertently caused the death of a few people:

[darkacademiaarchivist]

theory: with the way crosslinked categories seem to be the theme of each episode description, and the way TMAGP case-files have been theorized to be hunger or desire-based rather than fear-based, AND the fact that purely fear-based monsters do appear to still exist (while being portrayed as inadequate and underwhelming...)

i wonder if this is another hint that the TMA fear entities arrived as an invasive species in a completely different magipsychological system, and the two different sets are combining almost like pokemon types, creating infinite variations of horror.

[darkacademiaarchivist]

if a supervillain said "you wont kill me thatd make you just like me" i would simply say "no it wouldnt id be saving millions of people" and the villain would say "but youd be dooming yourself. could you really live knowing youre a killer" and id say "well id certainly have trouble. ill probably be very sad about it. definitely a lot to unpack" and theyd say "so you wont do it" and id say "oh no im still gonna" and theyd say "what" and id say "youre a supervillain responsible for countless deaths and yet here you are desperately trying to bargain for your life. you want to live. which means you can easily live with yourself after being responsible for countless deaths. i, on the other hand, will at the very least have tremendous difficulty with even killing just one person and at worst might just jump out a window right after i do it. the very nature of this whole conversation about whether we are the same has proven to me we are very much not the same and i am certain killing you to save millions is the morally correct decision here" and theyd say "what" and id say "get killed idiot"

[darkacademiaarchivist]

here's how agnes montague can still wi-

[darkacademiaarchivist]

I see where you're coming from but like.. you can't cut long live it's like The swifties anthem... And you can't cut the archer or cardigan wither they're my babies.

What if the songs that were cut from the Eras movie are what will be cut to make room for the tpd set???

[darkacademiaarchivist]

the joys of a keychain (wow! little object) vs the fears of a keychain (What If It Vanishes)

[darkacademiaarchivist]

Fascinated by stories of the - I guess you'd call it the "stolen identity" genre, like, of the Anastasia Romanov variety. But - from both sides.

Your husband has been at war for thirty years. You married when you were teenagers. The man who returns bearing his name looks... plausible, you don't remember his eyes being quite so blue, but it's been thirty years and it's not like you could ever afford to have a portrait painted. He knows your name and the names of your children and your parents, but there are curious gaps in what he remembers. But war does things to the mind. And if he's kinder than you remember? Kind enough that, maybe, you let yourself believe...

No one has ever looked twice at you, since you're just the maid, until the day a revolutionary bomb goes off, blowing a crater in the summer palace. The famously reclusive duchess and the rest of her household lie dead in the rubble. You know that you and she were the same dress size. You know where her jewels are kept. Most importantly, you know the location of the secret tunnel that leads down to the docks, and to a life overseas that would be torturously hard going for a poor maid, especially one suspected as a thief, but a lot more comfortable for a royal in exile...

The old king's most faithful retainer swears this is the heir to the throne, raised in secret and trained to one day step into his father's shoes. As the usurper as dragged off the throne, she screams that the old king's children are all dead, she made sure of it; no one pays her any heed. (Maybe they should have...)

The man in the tavern is buying drinks for the whole bar before he sets sail tomorrow for the far side of the world. He's got it all figured out - a ship of his own, retirement to a tropical paradise when he gets sick of the pirating life. His lip curls as he talks about the stultifying boredom of the aristocratic world he's already left behind. You find out that his parents recently died, and the estate is in the care of his younger sister, who was only six when her brother first left home two decades since. Between the lines, they sound like a good family; they sound like they love him, the way your family never did. Your heart aches. He shows you portraits, letters, before shoving them carelessly back in his coat pocket. They would be so easy to lift...

It's a surprisingly common concept and I just love it. It's The Return of Martin Guerre; it's multiple 90s romcoms; Agatha Christie pulls it half a dozen times. Sooner or later, it crops up in fanfic for just about any fandom with a royal or aristocratic main character.

And I can see why, because there's so much richness to it. From the outside, it can be anything from a horror story to an unlikely love story; from the perspective of the person pulling off the con, a heist movie or a tragedy or a heartwarming tale of found family. And then there are the longer-term implications: What happens if you wear a mask so long that it becomes who you are? What happens if you come to love the "replacement" to the point where you don't want to find out the truth? What is it like to uncover such a deception a century down the line, to find out that your great-grandfather... wasn't?

Just. Identity stories, man. <3

[darkacademiaarchivist]

The default length of pasta is designed to fit on a supermarket shelf, not to be the best length for cooking/eating.

Feel free to break it to any length you want (don't let the Italians know I said this)

[darkacademiaarchivist]

deleting files makes me so scared what if i Needed That

[darkacademiaarchivist]

i'm sorry but this is the only submission to this trend that i'll consider giving any thought to

[darkacademiaarchivist]

I think if I could be the kind stranger in someone’s memory, that’d be enough.