darkcomedies

[darkcomedies]

somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

[darkcomedies]

This is who is leading the NYC mayoral democratic primary rn

[darkcomedies]

if i ever got good at flirting people would die

[darkcomedies]

i will be j chilling and suddenly my veins are filled with fire

[darkcomedies]

what super expensive indulgence would u get for urself if u suddenly came into a bunch of money?? assume all bills/mortgages paid, all friends helped: what treat are u buying just for u?? for me it would be a quilted lambskin chanel bag in iridescent pink

[darkcomedies]

permission to lib out?

[darkcomedies]

YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

[darkcomedies]

collect my flop posts

[darkcomedies]

[darkcomedies]

??????????

[darkcomedies]

take me out back and shoot me Tuesday

[darkcomedies]

you cannot headcanon your way out of overt thematic structures on which the entire narrative is built

[darkcomedies]

do NOT talk to your normal ass coworker about Dinner in America (2020)

[darkcomedies]

moodboard for when you and your homie fuse into one entity

[darkcomedies]

I don't know how long this will last, but all I hear is: Iran, Israel, America... as if Gaza doesn't exist, as if the world has forgotten the people suffering there.

[darkcomedies]

when the scheming advisor is exposed and detained and yells at the guards to unhand him thats actually a pretty reasonable response. up until like two minutes ago that wouldve just worked.

[darkcomedies]

having something wrong with your reproductive system is literally so funny when you think about it #MyEvilWomb