darkestrellar

[darkestrellar]

materialises briefly from the depths of my hiatus to say: consider if svern's team dim sun identity was a girl actually

[darkestrellar]

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

[darkestrellar]

[darkestrellar]

what up everyone. I got my first job and an actual therapist and I'm fuckin pissed at my dad

[darkestrellar]

“It was just this big black mountain out in the ocean. I can see its eyes glittering up there in the dark, it was like looking into the eyes of God.” - Submitted by: fastman27

#060807 #0E0F0F #141617 #1C1F27 #212738 #293156

[darkestrellar]

there is no competition. respectfully, you could never be me. disrespectfully, i would never want to be you.

[darkestrellar]

[darkestrellar]

depression is over it’s done it is obliterated look at this fucking shirt i found at the thrift near my house

[darkestrellar]

[darkestrellar]

"When in doubt, fuck around and find out. That's how the saying goes, right?"

[darkestrellar]

CHARACTER HEADCANON GENERATOR MEME

Generate 10 headcanons and accept ✔ or reject ✖ them!

Svern is a very good singer. ( ✔ more or less, sure)

Svern likes being alone. ( ✔ )

Svern is the gay cousin. ( ✔ )

Svern would buy clothes from the soup store. ( ✔ )

Svern believes in Santa. ( ✖ ever since he was a small child he has been an unbeliever)

Svern has chronic nightmares. ( ✖ )

Svern instinctively cleans messes in their own house as well as other peoples. ( ✖ more chance of him making the messes)

Svern listens to 80s music. ( ✖ no that's Ice lol. unless we're talking about some kind of old synth instrumental stuff maybe)

Svern is a dog person. ( ✖ )

Svern sleeps in until noon. ( ✔ sometimes, when he does sleep)

Tagging: @vulpesly @twilighttheater @dynamoprotocol @noitxll @muses-inn @evoblue and anyone else who would like!

[darkestrellar]

what kind of touch do you possess?

STIMULATING TOUCH

you are an intense feeling that energizes others. you feel it throughout your body, oozing out of your fingertips. you're the bustling subway stations, the final goal that wins the game, and the tilting point of going down a rollercoaster. you're keep the group on their toes and always suggest new and exciting things to do. everyone loves the energy you bring and your eyes that seem to light up and brighten the room. you hate doing the same things everyday and completing monotonous chores. keeping moving and active is how you feel alive. after all, what's the point of living life if you cant enjoy it to its fullest?

[darkestrellar]

Steps on a landmine and you can clearly see my body get blown apart and launched into the air but you turn around and I'm right behind you cleaning my ears with a q-tip

[darkestrellar]

my favourite thing about svern and when he Does feel noteworthy emotions are that he typically either finds them completely overwhelming in a euphoric, "getting lost in them" kind of way, or he just finds them extremely confusing and/or distressing. or sometimes it's both. in fact if the source of the first one isn't the shadow crystal / smth equivalent then it's probably going to be both.

(the exception I think is anger, that doesn't usually distress him, although it originates from a place of distress. but it's also more familiar to him because it's the first notable emotion he had experience with, even at a low grade growing out of sight, and it usually functions to protect him)

the other thing is that emotions can't be the goal of his character, there isn't any theme of "unfeeling character starts Feeling Things and this makes them Better", because most of the time it's either linked to something causing him to become less like himself, or as I just mentioned, it's just outright distressing for him. (also because there's something to be said for how if he didn't experience various issues and trauma, his capacity for those emotions would also actually be less)

(it's not inherently bad for svern to have emotional development, in fact it is a good thing: but ONLY if it happens in his own way, at his own pace, and not compared to any standard of normality or humanness)

[darkestrellar]

…once again the ingrained habit of considering myself evil took command.

Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human

[darkestrellar]

OP says her rock climbing teammates are all bharal (blue sheep)

[darkestrellar]

WHAT AN ODD KID. Svern stares back at him at first, golden eyes equally unblinking in response; a placid but smileless expression on his face. Behind that mild and unassuming stare, he watches the boy scrutinise him. Oh yes, Svern knows when he's being examined, and is therefore doing the same back, though for all intents and purposes he's merely mirroring the boy's own expression. Likewise, when the boy demonstrates a change in that expression, he too lets a grin split his face — natural and easy.

"Well, I'd say I'm cheered up by your concern for me already! Not that I was terribly unhappy beforehand... you just happened to catch me with my mind wandering... but it's nice to see a stranger caring, yes."

Of course, coming from someone like Svern, both the friendly smile he now wears and the words he speaks are just fabrications. He's neither happy nor unhappy, nor does he care if some (seemingly) random passerby thinks he's happy or not... especially NOT someone who insists on a smile.

❝ why aren’t you smiling ? ❞ head tilts curiously , adding to the boy’s overall air of innocence as he urgently voices his inquiry with the same soft , hushed tone a mother might use on their infant child while attempting to lull them to sleep . rounded rubies stare long &. hard , unblinking , at the chosen one’s expression , like a street scanner attempting to grasp facial recognition . the dimensions of their face , the corners of their mouth that had yet to turn up into a bashful grin , their body temperature - it’s all analyzed &. committed to his database . for safe keeping , for future purposes . softly , he grins . if only to show the other that the expression is possible . ❝ i want you to smile . what do you need in order to be happy ? i’ll take care of it , so you can find happiness . please don’t worry anymore . ❞ or ever again , about anything . / open starter .