darkfaegaming

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on the topic of humans being the intergalactic “hold my beer” species: imagine an alien stepping onto a human starship and seeing a space roomba™ with a knife duct taped onto it, just wandering around the ship

it doesn’t have any special intelligence. it’s just a normal space roomba. there are other space roombas on the ship and they don’t have knives. it’s just this one. knife space roomba has full clearance to every room in the ship. occasionally crew members will be talking and then suddenly swear and clutch their ankle. knife space roomba putters off, leaving them to their mild stab wounds.

“what is the point?” asks the alien as another crew member casually steps over the knife-wielding robot. “is it to test your speed and agility?”

“no it doesn’t really go that fast,” replies the captain.

“does it teach you to stay ever-vigilant?”

“I mean I guess so but that’s more of a side effect.”

“does it weed out the weak? does it protect you from invaders? do repeated stabbings let your species heal more quickly in the future?”

“it doesn’t stab very hard, it gets us more than it gets our enemies, and no, but that sounds cool — someone write that down.”

“but then what is its purpose?”

“I don’t know,” the captain says, leaning down to give the space roomba an affectionate pat. “it just seemed cool”

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I love that leverage not only doesn't write the leader of the team as a person great at hiding all their problems, it does the exact opposite. Between Nate and Parker, there is a 100% rate of "oh, this is a weird little freak" whenever anyone interacts with them when they aren't in disguise. Nate may be trying, but no one is falling for it.

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"You should break up with your fake high-school girlfriend."

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i’ve always loved how alec looks and smiles at parker when she’s not paying attention. he’s so in love with her that i just love it!

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SPELLBOUND 1945 — dir. Alfred Hitchcock

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Man I just got a hand it to Leverage for being the best possible vehicle for explaining the evils of the world to a kid. My ten year old is currently deeply into Leverage, and we watch an episode together maybe three or four nights a week. Initially the draw was the heist (she saw Ocean's 8 and was delighted and wanted more), now she's hooked on the characters like we all are.

But man like. The kid learned tonight what child abuse was because she watched Eliot threaten to throw an abused down a stairwell and then make real damn sure the marshalls found that kid and helped him. Later while we're picking berries she says "hey mom, why do you think Eliot figured that out? Nobody else noticed that kid was in trouble."

"Huh yeah, that's a great question."

"is it just because he likes to hit people? But probably not, remember when Sophie said Eliot fights to survive."

Ten minutes later she says, "maybe he knows about that because it happened to him."

Five minutes later, "so maybe now he knows how to look out for other kids."

And then we talked about how teachers and doctors are mandatory reporters and what that means but like, her budding knowledge of adult life is couched in how people fight the bad shit and I fucking love it

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“Bro where u at we not supposed to be in heree”

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just saw a post about how magpies in australia will swoop down and attack people and are general menaces

and honestly now i want to see a paleo doc that shows an archaeopteryx or a microraptor just harassing the fuck out of a big theropod dinosaur that wandered too close to its nest. like seriously, let the little guys be the menaces and dive bomb a confused and slightly terrified predator like the ancient magpies they are

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Ironically, hard light is bad for recording sexy time.

It will highlight every pore, every vein, every wrinkle on your nutsack.

One day I will end this ring light fad. It is my ultimate side quest.

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how to train your dragon (2010)

dir. Chris Sanders & Dean DeBlois

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How to Train Your Dragon (2010) dir. Chris Sanders, Dean DeBlois

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we recently rewatched the Big Bang/San Lorenzo Jobs and one of my favorite things about Nate v Damien Moreau is that Moreau is always going "in a fair fight I'd crush you" and Nate keeps responding "probably, which is why I cheated like hell" and it works every time

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There are actual warlords terrified of meeting Eliot Spencer and he lets Parker (tiny, bouncy) and Hardison (world’s biggest nerd) walk all over him and I think that’s so sweet <3

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Error 404: Brain cell not found

Peek-a-boo

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"I NOM!"

mean as fuck why is he doing that

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unhealthy codependency is really a top tier dynamic. like they need each other to survive but god. should they.