darkhangels

[darkhangels]

wanted to let you all know I'm alive, and things will be coming soon...thank you so much for your patience and love, I am forever in your debt <3

enjoy the silence

masterlist 

morpheus x f! reader

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[darkhangels]

Hey I hope everything’s ok with you, if not I hope they get better soon. I just wanted to ask if enjoy the silence has been discontinued?

hello anon and hello to all my dear followers. words cannot describe how sorry I am for not posting and not letting you guys know what's going on with my fic. enjoy the silence has NOT been discontinued, I still have plans to post but life has unfortunately gotten in the way.

I'm juggling a lot atm I can't lie but mentally I am doing well and have been writing recently so I am hoping to get a new chapter to you guys soon!!

I also wanna maybe start working on other fics with other fandoms but I'm not gonna do that until we have gotten to a point in enjoy the silence where I feel good leaving it for a bit.

thank you to everyone for your continued support and your patience, it means the world to me. I hope you are all doing okay!

[darkhangels]

21. disintegration

enjoy the silence masterlist

morpheus x f!reader

A/N: we just hit 100k words! tysm for reading this far, i love you all endlessly (am feeling very insecure about this chapter for whatever reason)

words: 4936

warnings: heavy angst, kind of panic attack? 

As soon as you entered the apartment you started your research to little to no avail. You had spent hours upon hours googling ‘re-occurring nightmares and the fates’, ‘reoccurring raven nightmares’. And there was nothing, only a pitiful sense of Deja-vu from when you had first started having the nightmares, before meeting Morpheus.

Stress started to weigh down on you, as the pit in your stomach grew and grew making you more nauseous by the minute. Chewing on your lip, a frustrated hand knotted into your hair as you leant on the table, eyes scanning the hundredth google page. The impending sense of something not being quite right only worsened as the seconds flew by.

First the nightmares coming back, the less than satisfactory tarot reading (which you were casting out of your mind for the time being) and now something being wrong with The Dreaming. All at the same time?

Everything was all too coincidental. All too weird.

And you could deal with weird, after all if you couldn’t have you would have never had the guts to ever summon Dream of the Endless. But this? It wasn’t just weird, it was something else. Something you couldn’t quite pinpoint but made you anxiously chew at your nails nonetheless.

Your eyes grew heavier and heavier as your eyes flicked to the time on the computer. 1.38am.

You tried to fight off the wavering sleep. Which you knew was entirely dumb, you had another shift at the store tomorrow running on no sleep would do you no good. You had avoided sleep before, it does nothing but drive the brain to insanity. But if you did fall asleep, you would be forced to enter your nightmares once again.

You winced your eyes shut at the thought of your nightmares.

The tight grip of the cloaked men clenching against your skin.

The echoing of the sound of a raven's wing being ripped from its body

The nausea that crept up your throat as you screamed in horror.

The cold penetrating knife going into your body.

You shuddered in remembrance but your eyes grew heavier, a yawn escaping your lips. You had faced the nightmare many times before, you could face it one last time.

With a frustrated sigh you switched off the computer trudged to your bedroom.

--------------------------

Morpheus and Lucienne had been stressing and pacing in the library, looking for answers when Matthew finally asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

“So, boss” Matthew coughed awkwardly, drawing the attention of the librarian and the king. “When are you gonna, you know-” Matthew hesitated again. “Check in with your rogue dreamer”

Morpheus stilled upon hearing the old endearment he used to use for you, however he still turned to his raven with a stern look. “Matthew, It is still early on in the research processes, we may indeed find what we are looking for without having to involve humans”

Lucienne raised an eyebrow at his words. It was true that it was still early days for the research however she and Morpheus deep down knew that they were wasting their time, whatever was happening in the dreaming, they were not going to find their answers in the library.

“Yeah but she said she was doing research of her own, maybe she’s found something useful?”

Lucienne's forehead creased. “Research of her own?”

Morpheus’ eyebrows furrowed at the bird's words and Matthew anxiously shifted from foot to foot. “Yeah, well, after her whole nightmare thing I may have mentioned something about the dreaming not being right”

Morpheus resisted the urge to roll his eyes instead clenching his jaw. “Whatever she may think she is doing, it will not help us”

Matthew flapped his wings in agitation. “How can you be so sure?”

Morpheus turned to the raven, eyes widening slightly. “Because the answers to my realm would be here, not amongst humanity, she is wasting her time”

Matthew said nothing, choosing to instead fly away, making his disagreement with Morpheus’ words evident.

---------------------------

On the walk back from work that afternoon you were met with the flap of wings.

“Any news?” You said breathlessly to Matthew.

You had been anxious since last night, not only would humanity falter should the dreaming come to any harm but who knows what would happen to the beings who reside in it? In truth more than anything you were worried about your friends. Lucienne, Matthew, Merv, all of them. Without the Dreaming would they cease to exist? Would Morpheus cease to exist?

You tried not to dwell on that last thought too much, unwilling to think of such things.

“I told them, Lucienne and the boss about my theory and they are working hard to try and find answers” Matthew reported.

You frowned slightly. “But they haven’t found any solutions, any explanations yet?”

“I’m afraid not,” Matthew sighed. “And if you want my personal opinion, they are wasting their time”

“How so?”

“All they are doing is researching in the library, surely for something like this the answers wouldn’t be in a book”

Your frown deepened. “Morpheus isn’t doing any further research? Maybe asking his siblings?”

Matthew shook his head.

“Surely he knows what he’s doing, right?” You asked the raven.

“The boss isn’t used to not being in control, even after a century of confinement, though he is trying to be better, there’s only so much change he can go through,” Matthew waddled closer. “And this? Something in the dreaming that he can’t find, nightmares he can’t control. It’s like torture for the guy”

You gulped, staring into the bird's eyes. “You’re worried about him”

“Of course I am”

You licked your lips before kneeling down to get closer. “Matthew, Morpheus is immortal more than that. He can’t be hurt, he won’t”

Matthew looked up. “How can we be so sure?”

You swallowed. There was no way of being sure. But you would try your hardest. “Because I swear it”

Matthew cawed in confusion.

“I swear that Morpheus nor the dreaming will not come to harm, I’ll protect them, you have my word”

Matthew stared blankly at you.

You stood up and placed your hand on your heart. “I swear on my life”

Matthew shook his head and let out a chuckle. “You are a riot, kid”

You smirked ever so slightly at his words.

“So how is your research going anyways?”

You scratched the back of your head. “Pretty awfully, as to be expected”

Matthew huffed. “Nothing?”

“Nothing” You repeated.

Matthew sighed. “Alright, kid. I’ll come back tomorrow and update you”

“You better”

The two of you said your goodbyes before you continued your route home.

----------------

When Matthew returned to the dreaming he was almost instantly met with the narrowed eyes of his master.

“Boss?” Matthew cawed.

“Matthew, I must confess I do not remember asking you to visit the waking world or to inform any mortal about matters that do not concern them” Morpheus spoke slowly and in a tone so hushed it made Matthew's feathers rustle ever so slightly.

“She was worried about us, she wanted to be kept informed in case anything happened, and I wanted to check how her rese-”

“Did I ask you to do that, Matthew?” Morpheus cut the raven off.

“No but-”

Morpheus strode closer to the raven. “From now on you will only leave to the waking world by my admission”

“What! Boss-”

“The waking world is dangerous, you should not be there unless necessary”

And with that Morpheus walked away leaving Matthew stunned.

Lucienne looked at the raven after hearing the doors to the throne room shut. “I did warn you he wouldn’t take kindly to that, Matthew”

Matthew hopped up on the table closer to Lucienne. “I’m trying to help, Lucienne”

“I know you are, Matthew” Lucienne smiled faintly. “And if you’d ask me I think our rogue dreamer is important and should be here, but it's not as easy as that anymore”

Matthew grew quieter as the librarian went back to the book that laid on top of the table.

“Lucienne, what is happening?” Matthew asked quietly.

Lucienne snapped her eyes back to the raven. “With what?” She asked, though she knew what he was asking.

“The dreaming, the nightmares, all of it” Matthew answered.

Lucienne looked at the raven, sucking in a deep breath. “I do not know, Matthew”

“Will we be okay?”

A thin and weak smile grew on her face before it faltered as she blinked, eyes becoming ever so slightly watery. An expression Matthew had never seen from her before. “I do not know.” She cleared her throat ever so slightly, “But I have faith our King will figure this out”

--------------------------

Days passed and Matthew did not visit.

You had feared the worst.

What if something had happened to him? To the Dreaming? To Morpheus?

There were no reports of no dreams or no sleep. Humanity seemed just as it was, there was little to no evidence that something had happened in the dreaming apart from Matthew's absence but still your mind became restless.

You didn’t sleep. And when you did the nightmares continued as always. So you continued with your research which of course led you to nowhere, and you knew you were wasting your time, but it was better than nothing. Despite everything, you were desperate to do anything to aid Morpheus and the rest of the dreaming.

But you were human. And you had never felt quite as helpless as all you could do was chew your nails and hope and pray that everyone was alright.

You were huddled on the sofa, some irrelevant show playing on the TV though you weren’t watching, only appreciating the background noise, too anxious to sit in silence. It was 4AM, and you could not sleep, your stomach an anxious mess and your heartbeat echoing in your ears. Your eyes flicked to the ritual book laid on the shelf.

You had been contemplating doing the ritual again almost all night. It had nearly been a week since you saw Matthew last. It was unlike the raven to not stick to his words and worse with everything that had been going on with the Dreaming.

Your legs moved before you had properly reached your decision. Arms stretching out to the book before marching to your bedroom, where the feather from the last time you spoke the ritual still sat in your bedside drawers.

With a determined huff you snapped open the book to the right page.

So what if Morpheus insults you again? At least you would no for sure he and the dreaming were alive and alright, of course you didn’t have a plan for the alternative.

You licked your lips before reciting the ancient words again and crawling into your bed, it took moments of tossing and turning before you drifted into sleep.

A raven

A sacrifice

A death

You jolted awake the next morning, eyes burning as you clutched at your chest.

The ritual didn’t work.

You could not enter the dreaming.

A stray tear rolled down your face as you tried to regain your breath. Your heart was beating at a million miles per second.

Something was wrong.

What else would explain Matthews disappearance and now this?

You desperately tried to rationalise your thoughts but it grew increasingly more difficult as your mind screamed louder and louder that something was terribly wrong.

Had something happened? Something had to have happened.

Were they safe? Lucienne, Matthew and the rest of the inhabitants?

Was Morpheus alright? He couldn’t have been, otherwise why were you unable to enter the dreaming?

Your body started to flush and it was like everything suddenly became taller, louder, everything became intoxicatingly overwhelming. The sound of your shallow breaths echoed in your ears as you clutched at your chest as you winced your eyes shut.

You tried to take deep breaths, eventually calming down the thudding in your chest but the nausea and dizziness stayed as your mind raced through too many thoughts. Too many assumptions, fearing the worst.

Was the dreaming gone?

Was Morpheus gone?

------------------

It was two days later as you sat on the edge of your sofa, in complete silence, fiddling with your lip as red rimmed eyes stared forwards, your leg bouncing up and down in an anxious manner. You had called in sick from work today and the previous day, far too mentally busy to even contemplate dealing with snobby customers and irritating co-workers.

You had tried the ritual a further three times since the first failure, each to no avail. You were sleep deprived entirely too on edge to even consider sleeping. The ritual had never not worked before, let alone four times in a row. With all your nightmares coming back and something wrong with the dreaming, it was too well timed to be a coincidence.

You had spent the entire day pacing the apartment, thinking of reasons as to why the Dreaming wouldn’t be okay and your solutions to said problems. Morpheus once said the Dreaming, himself and his siblings solely existed to serve humanity and because humanity believed in them, deep down. If that were true then there would be no reason as to why the dreaming wouldn’t be okay. Humanity still stood, same as ever, dreaming at night and day dreaming through their everyday lives.

But The Endless were still entirely more powerful than humanity. If the Dreaming had been threatened by one of Morpheus’ siblings, perhaps desire, universal rules aside there were no promises that Morpheus would be safe.

Or god forbid if the very hordes of hell had ridden to the Dreaming following behind Lucifer with a vengeance, there was very little chance that your friends had survived. That Morpheus had survived.

Yes, Dream of the Endless was immortal. But not necessarily Morpheus.

He had told you, briefly once, about his sister Despair and how she had come into a new aspect of herself. She was still Despair of the Endless but she was…different, changed.

If he was somehow hurt, Dream of the Endless would survive but Morpheus may not.

You let out another shaky breath as your head fell into your hands, fingers massaging your aching temples.

You had dared to think about a world where Morpheus didn’t exist, but now you had. And the grip of despair and earth shattering loss pinched at your heart tightly. Your eyes watering again.

You had promised Matthew that nothing would happen to the Dreaming or Morpheus and yet here you were. Your friends were possibly dead, Morpheus too. And what did you do except for pacing around your apartment and crying like a child?

Morpheus couldn’t have been gone.

You still had so much more you wanted to say to him, despite your anger towards your last exchange, you did still love him.

God, you hoped, you prayed he knew that. At least then if he died, he died loved.

Would he have died alone? You wondered.

You tried to cast the cruel intrusive thoughts out but it didn’t work.

Did he suffer?

Did he have to watch as his kingdom, his subjects, his friends die helplessly?

You let out a sharp frustrated cry at the thoughts, begging them to leave.

Suddenly, you felt a slight prick of a hair at the back of your neck, the rest following in suit.

Your head shot up quickly, breathing becoming louder as the familiar feeling crept down your spine making you shiver.

You whipped around, only to be met with burning eyes like stars.

Morpheus stood still as he stared at you through his intoxicating gaze, his jaw hardened.

Your lip wobbled ever so slightly as a crushing feeling of relief descended down on you as you took in his features, Morpheus was okay and he was here.

Your legs moved before you even thought about it as you ran into him, arms wrapping around his torso, clinging to him tightly.

Morpheus did not move, he did not reciprocate the hug but he didn’t move away. He looked down at your figure clinging onto him. A certain warmth spread through Morpheus’ soul, but he did not allow himself to give in this time, only scowling in confusion as to your reaction.

“You’re okay” You said weakly against his chest, a tear of relief escaping your eye.

Morpheus furrowed his brows. “Do I have a reason not to be well?”

Hesitantly you pulled away from him, creasing your forehead as you looked up at him. “Matthew, He said he would come back and I haven’t seen him in days and then when I kept trying to do the summoning ritual I couldn’t enter the dreaming”

Realisation seeped into Morpheus’ eyes.

“Is Matthew okay? Is the Dreaming alright?” You asked frantically.

Morpheus regarded you for a moment before answering. “Matthew is well, so is my realm”

You let another sigh of relief as you nodded before biting your lip and squinting your eyes in confusion as you looked down. “Well then, why hasn’t Matthew come and spoken to me and why couldn’t I enter the dreaming?”

Morpheus remained silent, only watching you.

You looked up at him opening your mouth to ask another question before shutting it again, his eyes had a heavy truth to them, his gaze almost apologetic if it wasn’t for the cold front he so perfectly put up. You felt a stab at your heart, as you recoiled back ever so slightly, breath becoming quicker again. “Y-you did this” You hoarsely spoke. It wasn’t a question, nor was it an accusation. It was the truth.

Morpheus swallowed harshly, but his stern expression did not once falter.

Your lips trembled, no words able to form as you stared at him, heart breaking more as his starlit eyes scowled deep into your soul.

“Matthew should not have acted so recklessly” He finally spoke.

“I don’t believe it” You took a few steps backwards, unwilling to be near to him as bile rose up your throat. “Recklessly?” You repeated. “For doing what?”

“The waking world is dangerous, there is no need for him to be here if I had not asked him too” Morpheus said slowly.

You licked your lips, tasting metallic, as you narrowed your eyes. “Was it not you who sent him here in the first place? To spy on me?”

“Spy?” Morpheus’ eyes flashed. “I simply needed answers as to your nightmares, Matthew found none there was no need for him to talk to you”

You let out a laugh in disbelief. “He was doing what I asked him to, if you want someone to punish, punish me not him”

“You are not his master, you have no right to make requests of my raven” Morpheus reminded you.

“You’re right, I’m not” You nodded grimly. “But I am his friend and I care about him and what happens to his home, the place where many of the creatures I call friends, inhabit” You threw your hands into the air in a frustrated manner. “Which is why, I tried the ritual, because I needed to know the Dreaming was safe”

“It was unnecessary for you to come back after our last exchange” Morpheus spoke coldly.

Your eyes widened even more as the pin dropped, the knife twisting further in your heart. “You blocked me from the Dreaming?”

Morpheus stepped closer, his voice becoming darker. “The dreaming is not your concern, it never should have been”

“To hell it is” You barked back at him. “Maybe I never should have stayed in the dreaming the way I did, but it's too late, it’s already happened now. And besides I didn’t hear you try to kick me out of your bedroom quarters at the time”

Morpheus’ eyes darkened at your words and you knew you had angered him, but you didn’t care. “I denied you entry to my realm plenty of times before it was you that kept coming back, or do you not remember?”

“And this is solely my fault is it?” You challenged.

“Perhaps it is,” Morpheus answered coldly.

You shook your head in disbelief.

Morpheus let out a small breath of air, trying to regain his calm. “It is dangerous to involve you in this”

“And you couldn’t have just told me that?”

“Would you have listened?” Morpheus countered.

You simply glared at him, you both knew the answer was no. There was silence for a while before he spoke up again. “You will cease any kind of research you are doing which may interfere with my investigation”

Your eyes widened as you stared at him. “Oh will I?”

“Yes,” Morpheus rumbled.

“And what gives you the right to order me around?” You bit.

Morpheus stepped closer, eyes becoming dangerously darker and you swallowed slightly. “Because I am Dream of the Endless and you are interfering with matters that are mine”

“Morpheus, I can’t just not do anything about this” You sighed desperately. “Let me help from the waking world, who knows I might find something”

“No” Morpheus boomed.

You let out a frustrated cry. “Why the fuck did you even come here then, because you’re putting the both of us and both of our realms in danger just by being near me. Or did you just forget about the whole universal rules shit?”

Morpheus’ eyes narrowed, but they seemed deprived of any sort of emotion, except perhaps malice. “I doubt we need to worry about that anymore”

It was the final blow to your heart as you felt it seemingly shrivel inside of you at his words. You blinked slowly, tears gathering. You knew what he was implying. What he was saying.

He didn’t love you.

You nodded slowly, ducking down your head not daring to cry in front of the man in front of you, who was now a stranger.

Morpheus bit back the tears of his own as he watched you as he let out a small sigh stepping towards you but you jumped back from him. “Why can’t you just listen to me and stay out of this?”

You said nothing, looking up at him through an icy glare he had never seen before from you, a chill ran down his spine, and it was as if he was looking through a mirror. Your eyes looked impossibly tired and dull. Even more so than when you last saw one another. “When did you last sleep?”

“Oh my god” You muttered in disbelief to yourself, you looked back up at him. “Morpheus, I’m not having this discussion, just leave”

“When?” Morpheus repeated with a more dangerous tone, not moving anywhere.

“Two days or something like that, hell, I don’t know” You growled. “Get out of my apartment”

Morpheus opened his mouth but you cut him off. “If you’re going to give me a lecture on sleep you can stop now because I’m not interested, and why you even care is fucking beyond me”

He glared at you. “Why, then? Why have you not slept?”

You laughed in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?”

Morpheus’ expression remained and you shook your head. “Because of you”

“Me?” Morpheus’ eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t underst-”

“Because I thought you were dead!” You shouted.

Morpheus stilled, his face still etched in confusion.

“Matthew had gone and I couldn’t enter the Dreaming. And with all that had happened recently it all seemed to add up in my mind” You trembled ever so slightly. “I thought something had happened to the dreaming and that you were-”

You couldn’t even finish the sentence, warm tears started to stream down your cheek and you let them. Morpheus' gaze softened, all prior harshness had gone, his eyes widened in disbelief and compassion as he watched you.

“I thought you were gone, Morpheus. And I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know who to call, who to tell. I was lost. And I swear in those moments I had never felt more alone, more empty” You stepped closer to him. “Because even when I didn’t see you for all those months. I could feel you and I knew you were out there, I’ve known my whole life. And to be so uncertain for the first time in my life, it nearly destroyed me”

You prodded a finger into his chest angrily. “So don’t try to tell me that dreaming is none of my concern. Because it is. You are, whether you like it or not” You stepped backwards and let out a few more tears. “Just leave, Morpheus” You sighed.

The King took a few steps forwards towards you, slowly careful not to alarm you.

“You are right”

You remained silent, staring at the floor.

“I should have told you”

You looked up, your eyes momentarily met but you quickly looked away, the gaze too painful.

“But I kept my realm safe in doing so, so I cannot apologise”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, wiping the tears away.

“I did not ask for you to worry about me,” Morpheus said quietly.

“Well I did and I do, trust me if it were that easy I would’ve stopped months ago”

“I am not to blame simply because your mind made assumptions based on fear rather than logic” He said becoming defensive again.

You looked back up at him in disbelief, shaking your head not quite believing what you were hearing. “God, do you even hear yourself?”

And you started to feel like a fool, for ever falling for him, when he had been so cruel. How you had become so enraptured by someone's lies.

“I can’t believe I ever even-” You couldn’t finish your sentence and you stepped backwards again. “Who are you?” You asked rhetorically in disgust.

You took a moment and wiped at the tears calming yourself down. “I know you, Morpheus, I know you don’t mean what you are saying but fuck it hurts like hell”

“Someone such as you could never ‘know’ me” Morpheus coldly responded.

You bit back the pain. “Someone such as me? Someone unimportant perhaps?” You countered.

Morpheus blinked slowly and his eyes softened again

You glared up at him. “After everything we’ve been through I do know you”

“Then you should know my patience is wearing incredibly thin”

“So then why are you here Morpheus?” You asked coldly.

Morpheus let out a breath of air and hung his head ever so slightly, unwilling to meet his eyes. “Is there anything else about the nightmares you have not already told me?” He asked in a quiet tone.

Your eyes widened in disbelief, as you crossed your arms. “So, you do want my help?”

Morpheus remained silent.

You huffed again, shaking your head before quietly admitting. “No, there is nothing I haven’t already told you”

Morpheus nodded slightly and you dared to look up at him then, your eyes softening as you took him in and you sighed softly. “I’m sorry, Morpheus, I don’t know how to help”

He looked back up, his gaze becoming more intense. “Which is why you shouldn’t”

You silently shook your head, not giving up, not standing down.

“Unless,” Morpheus started looking off into the distance.

“Unless, what?” You prodded, looking at him frantically.

“When you first had the nightmares we stopped them when I caught the mare whilst you were in your nightmare, whilst you were sleeping” Morpheus started to explain.

“Yeah but it’s not a mare anymore, we think” You reminded him, eyes narrowed in confusion.

“But what if whatever it is is similar to the mare, I may still be able to catch it with the same method”

You nodded slowly. “Okay but wouldn’t you be going in with the disadvantage, I mean we knew we were dealing with a mare before we caught it. You’re not going to know what it is until you see it, it could be dangerous”

“I can handle it” Morpheus declared.

You rolled your eyes at his stubbornness but you knew fighting any further with him would get you nowhere.

“Okay, let’s do it now then, get it out of the way” You said as you walked past him, nudging into his side ever so slightly as you walked to your room.

“No” Morpheus grabbed your wrist gently.

Your brows furrowed as you turned around, pulling your wrist out of his grasp. Morpheus also turned to face you. “Tomorrow night,” He said.

“What's the difference?” You shrugged.

“I should go back to the dreaming and tell Lucienne my discoveries and you need to sleep, even with nightmares” Morpheus said, his eyes pleading with yours to listen to him.

You sighed, but you knew he was right. You nodded in agreement and you heard Morpheus let out a slight breath of air.

You gave him a small awkward nod. “I’ll see you tomorrow then”

“Tomorrow” Morpheus confirmed just as awkwardly.

You turned around on your heel and walked to your room, trusting Morpheus would find his way out with the door (or his sand). You let your door slam with a deafening thud.

You fell against the door sliding down it until your knees crumpled to your chest as you sat in the floor, your head laying on your knees as you let the pain take you, you would let it out now then it wouldn’t explode into another argument tomorrow.

It took a couple of hours but you managed to fall asleep into a nightmare ridden sleep.

[darkhangels]

OMG you updated!! You made my day, thank you thank you!! ❤️❤️

thank YOU for reading!!! I'm so glad I'm able to make your day!! <3

[darkhangels]

20. strangers again

morpheus x f! reader

words: 6385

warnings: swearing

A/N: I am alive and back! Hope you all had a wonderful holiday and a happy new year!

It had been a particularly trying day for Morpheus. He couldn’t pinpoint it but something just wasn’t quite right in the dreaming. It wasn’t exactly a threat and nor was it making any difference in his realm but he could feel it. And for almost once in his entire existence he felt…beneath it. Whatever this feeling was, the strange sensation of something just being a tad off, he felt he had little control over. Like it was above him. Which was impossible.

He had asked Lucienne if she felt anything to which she reluctantly said Yes and had hoped Morpheus knew what it was, but he didn’t. And so he decided to venture into the dreaming to see if he could find any answers to which of course he couldn’t. Frustration grit at his jaw.

He was Dream of the endless and how could he be dream of the endless if he felt like someone else more powerful than him was controlling his realm.

As if his already rotten mood wasn’t bad enough there was of course the ever reminder of you in the back of his head, your voice nagging and nagging him. Telling him what to do, scolding him for his bad decisions. It made him feel all too pathetic. A powerful being such as him, hurt by a mere mortal. Yet you were more than a mere mortal to him. And what was worse was knowing you had still not come back into his realm.

Morpheus finally retired himself to the throne room, declaring not to be disturbed unless absolutely necessary. He slumped himself not on the throne but instead the steps that wound their way up to the large chair. He let out a long huff of air, as he rested his arms on top of his knees.

A faint whisper caught his attention as his ears practically pricked up.

‘Morpheus’

His name was being called all the way in the waking world, so quietly he thought he might’ve hallucinated it which is why he simply furrowed his eyebrows for a second before shutting his eyelids.

Except only ten minutes later, he felt a familiar sensation. He hadn’t hallucinated anything, someone had called for an audience.

And not just anyone, he snapped his head up instantly as his widened eyes cast their gaze over to where you stood in the middle of his throne room.

--------------------

You had thought about this moment in the nights before you drifted into a fitful sleep. As you ran through a million possible scenarios where you would see Morpheus again, and you could only imagine what you would have done if you had seen him again.

In some scenarios you ran into his arms, pulled his lips against yours instantly. In some you quickly pulled him into his bed, wasting no time to argue as you shared a night of sweet and sentimental sex. In some you thought you would have broken down crying right there on the spot. Of course you had never expected you would have actually been in the scenario itself.

But now you were.

The ritual had worked.

You were back in the dreaming.

In the throne room, opposite him.

And all you could do was freeze on the spot.

There he sat as mystical and ethereal as ever.

Staring at you with wide eyes, like a deer caught in the headlights.

And your breath had hitched the second you laid eyes on him. The familiar raven hair, his eyes shining like stars. It was him. He was real.

And he was in front of you.

Your mouth ran dry as the pit in your stomach dropped. Both nervousness and relief ebbing through your soul.

A deep jab to the gut as you took in his beauty. Your memory hadn’t quite done justice to just how gorgeous he was, all the more ethereal inside his throne room.

And you were relieved.

So relieved, after all these months of hardships and pain, to see such a familiar and comforting figure. You blinked slowly as your eyes started to burn.

Slowly, oh so slowly he stood up, on top of the steps, never once breaking the intense eye contact you were both holding.

And then, his voice just above a whisper croaked your name in disbelief.

And suddenly a wave of nostalgia from the winter hit you like an unforgiving wave. All the times you had shared together, all the touches, the hushed whispers suddenly swimming back, as if they were only yesterday.

You swallowed harshly, opening your mouth, desperate to find your voice but too scared that the second your tongue would move that you would instead burst into tears.

What you would have given to run into his arms, to let him hold you once again. As he would stroke away the tears, let all the problems of the waking world dissipate into nothing but a bad memory.

But those days were over.

You were here to get answers.

Nothing more.

You let out a shuddering breath, anxiously flexing your hands at your sides. “I- um” You shook your head trying to straighten your posture.

Morpheus’ forehead creased ever so slightly as he took you in, how he had desired this moment, yearned for it in the deepest crevices of his mind. It took him all his strength not to take you into his arms and let you know just how much he had craved for you.

But he knew this was no social call. And an ice cold feeling of dread and concern washed over him. You looked…different.

Eyes more sunken in, dark bags weighing underneath your eyes. You looked…tired. Incredibly tired.

You sighed as your eyes casted down to the floor, “I know I shouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t be here unless it was absolutely necessary”

Hesitantly you looked up at him. “But I need answers”

Morpheus’ Adam apple bobbed as he nodded, urging you to go on.

You took another breath before biting your lip, willing away the tears that were gathering at your eyes. “Is it you?”

Morpheus’ eyebrows furrowed as his head tilted in confusion.

You fidgeted again trying to shake the trembling feeling crawling across your skin. “Are you the one making them come back?”

“I do not follow” He croaked, stepping down the steps, towards you.

You sighed again looking down, wanting this to be over with, unwanting to talk about your nightmares and unwanting to speak to him, knowing the pain it was already bringing back. You swallowed anxiously. “The nightmares, did you bring them back?”

Morpheus’ eyes widened again as he stopped in his tracks at least a metre between the two of you.

He remained silent and you dared to look up at him.

“They are back?” He asked, voice soft as ever yet with a hint of something dark laced through his silk tongue.

You nodded.

“For how long?” He asked again, his eyes never once leaving your face.

“Two weeks”

Eventually two weeks passed, with no visits to the dreaming and he was particularly irritated. Why were you avoiding sleep? You knew better than to deprive yourself of basic human necessities.

He let out a breath of air at the realisation.

“So is it?” You asked again, looking up, desperation seeping into your voice.

Morpheus’ forehead creased.

You fought the urge to lose your temper. You weren’t mad at him, well perhaps for making you fall in love with him. But aside from that you were mad at the universe. Upset that you had to be here, again, in the first place. When you had only just begun to somewhat heal. You licked your lips. “It’s not the mares this time and the only other thing that I could have thought to of caused it, would be you”

Morpheus recoiled ever so slightly, feeling as if you had struck him as his lips parted, his voice slightly raised. “You think I would be so cruel?”

You reluctantly flicked your gaze to his hurt ridden face, he could be cruel, god you knew he could be cruel. And yet he had always been so gentle with you, even when he had raised his voice or insulted you, you knew he could be far worse than he was showing you.

Ashamedly you threw your gaze to the floor, “No, I don’t” You admitted quietly.

Morpheus’ remained hurt as he scowled coldly at you.

Silence crept into the halls of the throne room as you both stared at each other.

It was strange.

More than strange.

How the two of you had once been so close, held each other, seduced each other, loved each other. And now? Saying more than one word to him was proving to be a difficult task you were not prepared for. You might've well just have been strangers again.

I mean how much had you changed in the last months? Not just physically but mentally. It had only been four months but his absence had changed you. For the better or worse you were unsure.

And him? Well of course he looked exactly like he always had.

But how much had he changed mentally? Had he become meaner? Softer? Had he even change at all?

Did he still love you as you loved him?

Your treacherous thoughts struck your heart and made your knees begin to tremble.

“Fuck. I hate this” You whispered weakly, mainly to yourself. “I’m sorry, this is so fucking hard” You admitted as your shoulders dropped. “I don’t have any other options”

Morpheus’ eyes unwillingly softened and he felt the slight feelings of betrayal leave his body. “It is not me,” He gently answered. He reached out to your dreaming mind and could sense, nothing. It was just like when you had both met for the first time. And a surge of irritation made the dream king clench his jaw.

You bit your lip, searching his eyes feeling the incredible sense of homeliness and your lip wobbled, eyebrows scrunching up, you looked down avoiding his gaze again, the intensity too much to bear. You wanted to leave, needed to leave, before you would say or do something stupid that would undo months of necessary absence and pain.

Slowly you nodded and forced a smile onto your face. “Thank you, that’s all I needed to know”

You turned to wake yourself up only to-

You felt a soft yet strong grip on your wrist, you looked down to find his pale white hand snaked around your wrist. Your breath hitched at the feeling of his silk skin against yours. It was better than how you remembered, so much smoother.

You turned back to him, slowly blinking as you found his eyes. His starlit eyes searched yours intensely and you felt your lips part without even thinking about it as you both locked in a stare. Your heart began to speed up and you swore Morpheus’ eyes flicked down to your lips only for a second.

Almost all of your inner turmoil slowly melted away. And suddenly it was just you and him.

Like it was.

The two of you, side by side, next to Lucienne and Matthew in the library, researching rogue dreamers and recurring nightmares, yet you couldn’t take your eyes off of the endless beside you.

The two of you dancing in an empty ballroom, music echoing in your ears as you fell under the enrapture of his touch.

The two of you side by side in bed, saying both nothing and everything at the same time.

The two of you underneath the stars.

The two of you saying goodbye.

Morpheus tore his eyes away and pulled his touch from yours, looking down for a moment as he stepped away from you. You swallowed harshly, already missing his touch, and straightened your posture.

“How are you confident it is not a mare?” He asked, looking down.

You cleared your throat, trying to find your voice again. “Both an exorcist and a witch told me so”

Morpheus raised a brow.

You let out a breathy chuckle. “Yeah I know”

Upon hearing your laugh he felt a slight jab at his heart. Oh how he had missed your laugh. He had missed your smile, your voice. Your soul.

And that need, that want, to wrap you up and protect you from everything the world threw in your face, to keep you by his side, always, suddenly came crashing back. Despite his mind screaming at him not to, he treaded closer, peering down at you slowly. “Let me help you” He softly lulled.

“No” You took a step back away from him.

Morpheus’ forehead creased, hurt seeping through his heart.

You shook your head vehemently. “Morpheus, I can’t and I won’t ask you of that”

“It’s not a good idea for either of us” You wrapped your arms around yourself. “I just needed an answer so I could go from here”

“And where will you go from here?” Morpheus challenged, eyes darkening.

You looked up at him considering your options, you hadn’t quite thought about what you were going to do had he said no, though you knew it was the answer. “I haven’t the faintest clue”

Morpheus tensed, taking you in, his voice softening. “Why didn’t you come sooner?”

You let out a huff and stared at him incredulously. “How could I have? Knowing what I would risk, knowing what I am risking?”

“And what made you decide to take the risk?” Morpheus questioned, an unreadable expression on his face. “Knowing the danger it would bring”

It's a question you had ultimately asked yourself.

Curiosity, perhaps? Curiosity did kill the cat, but no it was not that.

It was Hope.

Hope that despite the strange life you had lived that there is still time for the life you had always craved.

“Because I deserve to have a life too, Morpheus” You declared. “A life free of nightmares, a life free of demons”

Morpheus’ gaze softened ever so slightly.

“Besides, I took the necessary precautions. My friends and my family are safe” You continued, scowling at him. “I would not risk them so carelessly”

“And what about you?”

You looked up at him hesitantly, your silence speaking volumes. And Morpheus’ gaze hardened again. “I told you to stay out of harm's way”

You shook your head in disbelief. “What other choice do I have? Just continue with the nightmares every night?”

“Your waking life would be safe” Morpheus argued back, eyes narrowing. “And so would my realm, or have you already forgotten the risk you are putting on the dreaming simply by being here?”

You flared your nostrils in irritation. “Firstly, my waking life would be useless, simply worrying about my sleep every single night, waking up traumatised. My life has been consumed by dreams for more than enough”

“Secondly, of course I thought of the dreaming, I do have friends here, in case you have forgotten” You scoffed, and narrowed your eyes back at him. “And Your realm, wouldn’t be in such danger if its ruler had actual control over it so that I and who knows how many other people wouldn’t have to put up with these god awful nightmares”

Morpheus stood still but his jaw flexed. “You dare?” He growled in a tone so deep you could feel his voice reverberate through your body, sending chills to every stretch of skin on your body.

You swallowed harshly, unwavering but not saying a single word.

Morpheus stepped closer. “You forget yourself”

“It’s a valid theory” You looked up at him defiantly. “I mean how many other people are struggling the way I am? Who's to say I’m the only one having these nightmares?”

“You believe this is my fault”

It wasn’t a question. More of an accusation.

Your eyes unwillingly softened as you took him in and you cursed yourself for missing him so much. For loving him so much, even at his worst.

“No, I don’t. But if it's not you, then these nightmares could mean something more”

Morpheus furrowed his eyebrows but kept his scowl.

“You said, remember, that the fates had occasionally stepped into your realm. What if this is that?” You ran a frustrated hand through your hair. “If it's not you, and it's not a mare, then what else?”

“No, it is not that” Morpheus coldly shut you down.

You looked up at him with wild eyes. “But how can you be so sure?”

Morpheus swallowed harshly, staring at you with an iciness you had never seen before. “You are unimportant, why would the fates give you those gifts?”

You flinched back at his words. Slowly blinking in horror at him, wondering if you had misheard him. But the disdain in his eyes told you everything you had needed to know.

You grimaced, pushing the pain down, trying to find your voice before letting out a humourless laugh. “I’m wasting my time, I knew this was a mistake”

“Then why are you here?” Morpheus asked coldly, in a tone that almost sounded like he was mocking you.

You glared up at him, hands becoming hot as anger started to get the best of you. Morpheus did nothing to remove the harsh expression from his face, his glare penetrating you.

He had never looked quite so…angry.

He was angry.

And it sent shivers down your spine.

“I have my answer and that is all” You glared up at him. “Goodbye, Morpheus”

You turned to wake yourself up again but hesitated as you turned back to look at him your lips still trembled as you struggled for your composure, wet eyes boring into his. “I hope you are well, despite it all”

His gleaming eyes became softer again as he tensed his jaw before you disappeared back into the waking world.

---------------------

You woke up and fought the urge to crawl back into your dreams

Quickly, you swiped at the tears that escaped the corners of your eyes.

You sat up slowly, peering off into the distance desperately trying to fight back the claw of despair desperately pulling at your heart. All the pain, the anguish from January coming back and hitting you.

A painful reminder of what you would never have again. The way his skin felt against yours, the soft rumbles of his voice against your ears, his love .

You pulled your knees to your chest and layed your forehead against them, letting out a long shaky breath as you tried to repress the memories that came back.

It was just a blip.

A quick five minute summoning. It meant nothing more.

And yet, you knew this was going to plague your mind again. You would undoubtedly dissect his every word, his every movement from your dream. The wound callously reopening as if you had said goodbye only yesterday.

And for him? Did he still love you? The other answer you so desperately yearned to know the answer to that it burned on the tip of your tongue. A part of you wanted to say yes. But his cold words said otherwise.

“You are unimportant, why would the fates give you those gifts?”

You knew you weren’t important in the overall grand scheme of things. You were just a human, accidentally wrapped up in a mess of cosmos and dreams. You knew that. You didn’t need him to tell you that.

For someone who had always made you feel so comforted and so at home, to say the most cruel things, it stung.

God, did it sting.

You had hoped that maybe you would have gotten even more closure so that you could finally put Morpheus, the nightmares, all of it behind you. Instead of still being hung up on it, like a child unwilling and unable to let go of the past as you desperately cling to what was.

But you were wrong. It had only made it all that much worse.

Despite it all you tried to look on the bright side of things, you at least knew for sure the nightmares weren’t being caused by him. Or a mare.

Which left you with…nothing.

So maybe the bright side wasn’t all that bright after all.

Your phone buzzed and you instantly grabbed it. Lorna, Veronica and your mother you had to make sure they were safe.

You called Veronica, anxiously and with waited breath, knowing Lorna would still not pick up if you had been called. The phone rang several times, the beeps mocking your panicked state.

Until finally.

“Hello?”

“Veronica, is everything okay?” You speedily asked.

“Uh, yeah” You heard the shifting of bed sheets and Veronica's voice was strained and dry, like she had just woken up. “Everything is fine, why wouldn’t it be?”

“And Lorna? You’re both safe, nothing has happened?”

“What?” Her voice became higher as she sighed tiredly.

“Veronica, please, answer me!” You desperately pleaded.

“Yes everything's fine, I’m fine and so is Lorna, why?”

You breathed a sigh of relief.

“Fucks sake, why are you calling me at four in the morning asking if we are okay?” Veronica asked, concern threading into her now more awake voice.

You paled and looked at the clock, you hadn’t even realised it was only four in the morning. “Sorry, M’sorry. I’ll talk to you later, Veronica”

You hung up instantly not letting Veronica say anymore as you quickly called your mum. She picked up faster than Veronica, she had always been a rather light sleeper.

“Darling?”

“Hi Mum, are you okay? Are you safe?”

You heard a breathy chuckle. “What?”

“Just, please, are you okay?”

“Of course I am, are you alright?”

You breathed another sigh of relief throwing your head up as you closed your eyes. “Yeah I’m fine, sorry, just bad dreams”

You heard silence and the rustling of sheets. “It’s not the nightmares again?”

You bit your lip. “No, don’t worry, I’m sorry to wake you, I’ll talk to you later”

You hung up again and put down your phone.

Lorna and Veronica were safe. Your mum was safe. And so were you.

Which meant that the universe felt no need to punish you.

Maybe Morpheus truly didn’t love you anymore.

You let one defeated sob escape your lips before angrily swiping at the tears.

What had you expected? He wasn’t human, you were foolish to believe he would still hold those sentiments for you.

It was over. And it was time to move on.

But how were you supposed to do that with the nightmares?

---------------------

Morpheus stood still in the throne room for a very long time. A million thoughts going through his head. A million questions.

How did you get back into the throne room?

How were the nightmares back?

Why were they back?

Was this why he had felt disturbance in his realm?

Were you safe?

Did you still love him?

One thing was certain, you were right. Something was wrong in the dreaming. And another being was controlling the dreams, controlling yours nonetheless. Whether he liked it or not this was not something he could just ignore, it could be a danger to his realm. Again.

He found himself in the library, searching for Lucienne.

---------------------

Your work shift was going horribly.

Not enough sleep, a rotten mood and it being a busy day was not a good mix as it turns out.

Of course your mind was very much not on work but instead cruelly fixating and replaying last nights dream in your head.

You were only slightly wallowing in your own self pity, mostly you were infuriated and you had only hoped that didn’t rub off on any customers you were speaking to.

When you finally finished your shift and exited the shop you were met with two beady eyes looking up at you from the floor.

“Matthew?”

“Hey, kid”

You instantly picked up the bird and gently wrapped him in a tight embrace.

“Woah, woah. Nice to see you too” He chuckled.

Tears stung at your eyes at the relief of hearing your friend's voice. “Jesus, I missed you, birdie”

“Missed you too” He cawed.

You finally pulled away and regarded him as you leant down on the floor onto his level. “Why are you here?”

Matthew cocked his head to the side. “The boss sent me here to watch over you”

Typical.

You rolled your eyes and let out a less than amused huff. “Matthew, as glad as I am to see you, you should go back to the dreaming and tell your king I don’t need looking after”

“Yeahhh” Matthew drew out. “He said you would say that”

You flexed your hands. “Did he now?”

“Yeah, sorry kid. You’re stuck with me”

You let a smirk grow on your face. “Well there are certainly worse birds to be stuck with”

Matthew cawed in response and you stood back to full height. “Come on then, you can walk me home”

Evening was starting to descend but the light was still strong. The two of you strode through the streets, passing by blooming trees as Matthew sat perched on top of your shoulder, gaining a few strange glances from strangers but you paid them little to no attention.

“So, kid, Uh- how have you been?”

You smiled to yourself.

What a loaded question.

And how had you been?

Tired, emotional, drained. Feeling like a pathetic teenager hung up on their one month relationship with a boy? All of the above.

“Fine” You nodded.

Matthew chuckled. “That bad huh?”

A small smile crept onto your face that didn’t quite meet your eyes. “I’ve been fine, all things considered”

“All things being?” Matthew probed.

Your eyebrows furrowed and you turned to him. “He didn’t tell you?”

Matthew flapped his wings. “Ah, no, nothing. Me and Lucienne had our theories though”

You smiled to yourself again. How you missed Lucienne. “Of course you did”

Silence grew over the two of you again.

“So” Matthew coughed. “What did happen, exactly?”

You sucked in a slight breath. “Y’know, the old universe”

Matthew stared blankly at you and you sighed. “I fell in love with him, the universe threatened to take away someone very close to me and so we had to say goodbye”

You bit on your lip at the harsh memories.

“Shit, that must’ve hurt” Matthew shook his head.

You nodded. “It fucking hurt like hell, it still does”

“That's love for you kid, I did warn you” Matthew said.

You rolled your eyes. “I didn’t fall in love on purpose, I tried not to”

And you did. You had spent so long trying to repress the feelings you had for him. But how could you have? When loving him felt so right.

“And I was stupid, all things considered, looking back I think I was a pretty bad girlfriend” You quietly admitted.

There was silence for a second.

“Why?” Matthew asked quietly.

“Because, I was so wrapped up in my stupid human insecurities I didn’t see that he did actually love me back and when I did realise, it was too late because the universe had already ripped us apart”

“Did you tell him that?”

“Yeah, I did. But I haven’t forgiven myself yet” You scoffed. “And that’s not to say that he was the perfect boyfriend either, but-” You licked your lips, willing away the tears that grew in your eyes. “He felt perfect to me, despite everything, I loved him so much”

Matthew was quiet again before speaking up. “And do you still love him now?”

You looked up at the sky and bit your lip. “Yes, more than ever” You quickly shook your head. “It doesn’t matter though, it’s too late and he doesn’t love me anymore”

“How are you so sure he’s moved on?”

You swallowed harshly before turning to the bird. “Matthew, would you tell the one you loved that they were unimportant, even if it was technically kinda true?”

“What? No, of course not” Matthew huffed.

“Then there you go” You shrugged.

Matthew flapped his wings in disbelief, his voice becoming higher. “Wait, he said that to you?”

You nodded slowly. “He sure did”

There was silence for a couple of moments.

“I would never call someone I loved unimportant”

“I know you wouldn’t, Birdie” You softly smiled at him.

“No, I would never and nor would you. But he is not like us. He’s not human and he never has been, nor has he ever been particularly skilled when it comes to voicing his feelings”

“What are you saying, Matthew?”

Matthew fidgeted. “Just you know, don’t be so sure he has moved on”

Your cheeks lightly blushed at the thought of it. And you knew Matthew was right. Morpheus had never been good with his words when it came to expressing emotions. Hell, you figured that out very early on. But he had never been that cruel to you before.

Maybe it was just a defence mechanism.

Or maybe it wasn’t, but it didn’t matter.

“Doesn’t matter either way, we can’t be together whether I like it or not”, You huffed. “I just need this nightmare bullshit to go away, so I can go back to life before this”

Matthew hung his head quietly and you felt slight guilt at raising your voice. “Sorry, Matthew, I didn’t mean to get aggressive”

Matthew chuckled then. “Aggressive? Please I’ve heard toddlers sound more menacing than you”

You smiled and rolled your eyes at him.

The two of you continued in content silence for a while.

“So, Matthew, how have you been? How’s Lucienne?”

“I'm the same as ever, kid. So is Lucienne” Matthew said. “We have missed having you about though even if Lucienne won’t admit it, it’s not as fun when all we have is Merv and Dream”

You smirked at that. “Yeah I bet and how’s The Dreaming?”

Matthew was silent for a moment before he hesitated. “The Dreaming is fine”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Fine?”

“Yeah, you know,” Matthew shrugged, trying to play it off.

You stopped walking and turned to Matthew with a curious and concerned look.

The raven very quickly sighed. “The Dreaming is fine. It’s just been different recently, we can all feel it, especially Dream”

“Different how?” You probed.

“It's only been for a week or two but, I don’t know it’s like something is controlling the dreams”

You nodded slowly though your eyes narrowed in confusion. “But Morpheus controls all the dreams, he is the dreaming, how is that possible?”

Matthew flapped his wings. “How come he can’t control your nightmares?”

You stared at the bird before your eyes widened in realisation. “You think they’re connected?”

Matthew hesitated for a moment. “The timing is too coincidental. Don’t you think? We all start to feel a presence above us and suddenly your nightmares are back without a mare causing it”

“Have you told Morpheus about this?” You asked.

Matthew shook his head. “No, not yet”

If these were connected, then there’s a good chance this ‘difference’ was out to get Morpheus for whatever reason. Possibly dethrone him, even end him.

You sucked in a shaky breath. “Matthew listen to me”

Matthew hopped down to the floor as the two of you stood outside your apartment complex. Quickly you scanned around checking for anybody nearby before you leant down to the floor. “You have to tell Morpheus about your theory. Then from there he can try and weave out the problem and end this”

“Yeah, ok, why are you so worried though?”

You bit your lip. “Just a gut feeling”

“Ok, so, should we tell him tonight when you visit the dreaming?”

Swallowing harshly you slowly blinked at the raven. “Matthew” You started slowly. “I’m not coming back to the dreaming”

“What?!” Matthew cawed.

You sighed. “How can I? It's just better for the both of us to stay away, especially after last night”

“Then what will you do?”

You thought for a moment. “I’ll do my own research, here in the waking world and see if there’s anything I can do from here”

“Research? How?” Matthew chuckled in disbelief.

You shrugged. “I have Google”

Matthew scoffed. “Yeah because Google is definitely going to have the answers to this”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Well, it’s a start”

Matthew considered you for a moment. “Kid, what if you’re in danger?”

“I don’t think it’s me that’s in danger, Matthew”

Matthew hopped closer and cocked his head to the side. “Wait. Do you think Dream is-”

Matthew didn’t dare finish the sentence but you knew what he was asking. You stared down at him, your eyes becoming glassy for a moment.

“I only have a feeling” You reassured him. “But this is why it is important that you tell him about this as soon as possible. Even if he is stubborn and keep shutting you down, you have to make sure he looks into it and Lucienne as well”

Matthew nodded and you stood up and brushed down your knees. “I’ll be in contact, somehow, if I find anything”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you in the loop” Matthew said.

You smiled softly. “Thank you, Matthew. I’ll see you later”

Matthew cawed in response before spreading his wings and ascending into the clouds, as you watched slowly before creeping into your apartment complex.

-----------------

Matthew arrived in the dreaming and instantly flew into the library, only to be met with Lucienne and Morpheus talking in a rather stressed manner. They both quietened down and turned to the Raven, a dark glare forming on the King of Dreams’ face.

Matthew fidgeted before anxiously looking up at Morpheus. “Listen, Boss before you start I have to tell you something-”

“No,” Morpheus boomed, shutting him down.

Lucienne's eyebrows furrowed as she looked between the two of them, confused as to where her Lord’s anger was coming from.

Matthew stayed quiet. He knew he had this coming from the moment he felt Morpheus watching the two of you through Matthews eyes, feeling him exit Matthews mind swiftly after your conversation about your relationship.

“I told you to watch over her, not speak to her”

“Ok, but Boss, if you’d just listen-”

“I know you are fond of her, but it is not her place to know nor be a part of anything to do with the dreaming” Morpheus slowly explained, still glaring down at the bird.

Matthew knew Morpheus wasn’t mad about the fact that Matthew had spoken to you, more so the things he did speak about with you. He had heard it all.

And it only made him hurt even more.

“Yeah I get that, but-”

“Not only did you disobey me but you put her and yourself in danger-”

“Boss! Would you just listen to me?”

Morpheus finally stopped speaking, still regarding the bird with a scowl.

Matthew let out a small breath of air before looking between Lucienne and Morpheus. “I have a theory regarding the nightmares and the other thing”

Lucienne's forehead creased. “‘Other thing’?”

“Come on! We can all feel it, something is different in The Dreaming whether we like it or not”

Lucienne and the Dream king shared a concerned glance before turning back to the Raven.

“Go on,” Morpheus instructed.

Matthew flapped his wings and waddled closer. “This weird thing, we’ve all felt, started like two weeks ago, right?”

Lucienne nodded.

“Well, so did the nightmares”

Morpheus’ eyes widened slightly in realisation, his previous coldness dissipating as concern crept into his body.

Lucienne took off her glasses, rubbing them on her sleeve. “The timing is rather well for it to be a coincidence”

“Exactly! What if they are connected? It means when we figure out what one of them is we’d be killing two birds with one stone” Matthew responded.

Whatever this thing was that made the dreaming feel…off, if it was also controlling your nightmares, it meant that Morpheus truly had no control over your sleeping mind. Meaning something more powerful than him was controlling your dreams.

Morpheus tensed his jaw, his gaze darkening. “Lucienne, research anything and everything about what this could be”

“Of course, my lord” Lucienne ducked her head, walking into the labyrinth of books.

Morpheus instantly started striding to the throne room, his black coat rushing behind him. Matthew started to hobble next to him. “Boss, are you gonna go speak to her?”

“Why would I do that?” Morpheus asked.

“Uh, because they are her nightmares”

The doors to the throne room slammed shut as Matthew followed after Morpheus. “She has told me everything I need to know already”

“You can’t seriously believe that,” Matthew scoffed. “I mean, how can you expect to fix this if you guys won’t even speak to each other?”

Morpheus stopped and slowly turned around. “I thought you said I am not particularly skilled when it comes to voicing my emotions, Matthew”

Matthew ducked his head. “Listen, I’m sorry I said that, but someone has to make you guys at least civil again if we want any chance of fixing this”

“There is no need for her, here” Morpheus scowled at him. “She stays in the waking world, where she should have been all along”

“Now I know you’re lying, you’ve missed her more than anything, I know you still lov-”

“Enough” Morpheus ordered. “Stay out of my personal affairs, Matthew”

Matthew sighed. “All I’m saying is, if it’s the universe you’re worried about, surely it wouldn’t be so cruel as to punish a Dream King for doing his job”

Morpheus remained silent as Matthew flew away and out of the throne room. The raven haired king stood still for a moment, basking in the thoughts that ran around his head.

Matthew was right, He had to protect his realm.

No matter the consequences.

[darkhangels]

can you give me a good reason to keep living?

I can try. Because the moment you stop living you don't get a chance to fix anything any more, because the sun can never come out, because nobody can smile at you and you can't smile at them. Because deciding to stop living is a very permanent solution to what are sometimes, especially in retrospect, very temporary problems. Because, often, time heals and things get better.

[darkhangels]

AUTHORS NOTE ABOUT ENJOY THE SILENCE :

Hello all! I would like to apologise for taking SO long with the next chapter. Life became, and still is, pretty busy. Firstly I was recovering from a gig I went to (The Cure - they were amazing one of my fave bands of all time). Then I became sick, which wiped me out for a good week or so. And now it's Christmas week which means I have absolutely zero free time.

The fic is still my number one priority, don't worry, I'm just using this time to take a small break honestly because I don't want to give yall a rushed and bad chapter. So please bear with me lmao.

Thank you so much for your support and your lovely words about my work. I am so thankful for you all <3

[darkhangels]

It’s so hard to find good writers when it comes to fanfiction. The search for well written, creative, and captivating fanfiction is a tireless one. Which is why I’m so glad I found your work.

You are an amazing writer. I truly believe that you could have published books/stories. Please keep writing. This app needs more talented writers like you.

AHHH ANON U HAVE ME CRYING SO HARD RN. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UR KIND WORDS <333.

Thank you so much for showing my little story sm love. I love you all!!!

[darkhangels]

You’re telling we are ONLY HALFWAY!? Girl you like Hamilton, writing like you’re running out of time! Keep it up your work is amazing!

LMAOOOO this made me audibly chuckle so thank you for that. yes I know its crazy to think we are only halfway through but oh boy you guys are gonna have to strap yourselves in for the second half... thank you so much for your support!!

[darkhangels]

Hi!!! You have no idea how much I love your Sandman fic, I'm so obsessed I get so happy when I get a notification!! It's one of the best fics I've ever read, thank you so much for taking the time to write these long chapters!! ❤️❤️ Do you know how much chapters you plan?? I need to prepare myself in advance lol

thank you so SO much!!! your beyond kind words are making me blush. right now I have planned for 40 chapters (give or take) overall. so we have just kind of reached pretty much the half way point in the story!! thank you for your ask anon <3

[darkhangels]

I just wanna say that I just discovered your work, "enjoy the silence", read it within the day, and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! It's really good and each chapter got me either giggling, tearing up a bit, or very curious what's gonna happen next (it can be all of the above)

I'm so excited and looking forward to the next chapter 💖 Thank you so much for this!

this is so very kind, thank you for the sweet words and thank you so much for reading and I'm so glad you're enjoying it!!! <3

[darkhangels]

19. one more time

enjoy the silence masterlist

morpheus x f!reader

words: 5815

warnings: swearing

Morpheus had somewhat felt you enter his realm every night, they may have been extremely late and often short visits, but he could still feel you. He knew you weren’t sleeping well, something he was entirely disapproving of and wanted nothing more than to scold you about. He tried not to take notice of your arrival and departures in and out of his realm but it was impossible, he was the dreaming after all and could sense every being there, especially you.

So when he didn’t feel you enter his realm the first night he simply decided to shrug it off as best as he could. But then he couldn’t sense you the night after, or the night after that. Eventually two weeks passed, with no visits to the dreaming and he was particularly irritated. Why were you avoiding sleep? You knew better than to deprive yourself of basic human necessities. Still he cast the thoughts out, it didn’t matter anymore. You were supposed to be just another mortal to him, nothing more.

Despite him knowing this it didn't change the fact that it bothered him quite a bit, more than a bit. But all he could do was tense his jaw and brood, only hoping you would come to your senses rather soon.

Morpheus found him thinking about you more and more as the time since your goodbye went on and on. After the first night he hadn’t even allowed your name to come into his thoughts. Instead he distracted himself with his duties.

At least he was being attentive to the realm, Matthew told Lucienne, and Lucienne gave him a weak smile. In truth she worried for her Lord, so did Matthew. And they missed you, they missed you dearly.

Eventually you did worm your way into his mind, of course you would. Every time he felt your presence in the dreaming it was a painful jab to the heart, a reminder of what he could never have.

It will pass, he told himself.

It will pass and you will be no more than a mere memory to him, and he could continue with his existence the way he had before he met you. Before you so carelessly wound your way into thoughts, his soul, his very being.

It will pass and in time he would not ever feel you come to the dreaming again. The thoughts set a harsh lump in the back of his throat. Yes, the pain he truthfully felt whenever you entered his realm when he was unable to see you was hard to bear, but it would be so much worse when he eventually would not feel you any longer. In a mere amount of decades, when a lifetime had passed and his sister would come for you, would he grieve? Would he still love, would he still care?

He wished not, he dearly wished not.

And so he told himself yet again, it will pass, it always does.

Doesn’t it?

-------------------

It had been a week of nightmares and you were at your tether. Despite the terror that seized your heart you had the upper hand of knowing exactly what was causing the nightmares this time. So, the mare was back, that frightened you to your very core, knowing it was lurking in your apartment waiting for you to fall asleep so it could prey on your mind.

Still despite the fear you were not going to just sit back and take it like last time. You had to take a stand

After the first night you considered the options you had. Try and cast it out yourself, get an exorcist, try a witch.

All three didn’t seem entirely too enjoyable, but nor was being plagued with nightmares every time you so much as thought about sleep for the rest of your life.

Of course, a certain someone's voice was echoing in your ears.

Morpheus’ voice croaked seemingly out of nowhere. “If the nightmares ever start again, you come straight to me” He hoarsely whispered.

Your forehead creased in confusion as you looked back up at him. His face was etched deep in something. “I will,” You nodded.

His eyes flew down to yours, gleaming like stars only for a second before returning to the icey blue. “Swear it”

You were taken aback by his sincerity and you swallowed slightly as your lips parted taking in his face. “I swear it” You softly answered.

You had sworn it, under the intense gaze of your lover, laying in the King of Dreams’ bed, you had sworn it.

But that was then and this was now.

Even if you did want to, knowing all the damage and destruction it would’ve brought, you would have no way of getting to him, the necklace no longer worked after all and he had told you only powerful beings could just dream themselves into the heart of the dreaming. And you were not that.

No, no Morpheus. It was up to you now.

You set out to do your research. You were more mindful than last time of course, you most certainly did not go back to that bookshop. Instead you took to Google, looking for ways to get rid of mares.

When Morpheus had gotten rid of them the first time all he had really done was recited some Latin, something you could’ve easily done yourself if you had just known what it was he had said.

Wikipedia suggested drinking coffee before sleep, which was great because it meant you didn’t fall asleep but when you eventually did have to succumb to slumber, the nightmares were still there. Then it suggested sleeping with leather, that did nothing. Nor did inviting the mare to breakfast (that was a strange one, but honestly not a lot shocked you anymore), or leaving a bundle of hay in your bed and sleeping on your sofa instead (the hay stayed in your bed for a good couple of days after that, making sleep all the more worse)

You even started to recite a prayer to god.

None of it worked.

And an irritating wave of Deja-vu hit you.

How, nearly seven months later, when so much had changed in that time, were you nearly at the exact same place in which you started?

You had been so naïve then.

Knew nothing of the world you knew of today.

Which meant that if you from then could’ve done it, without the knowledge you had now then so could you.

Of course then you had Morpheus but that was no longer an option.

-----------------------

So you set out to find an exorcist. Finding one that seemed actually legit was difficult. You had scoured the internet for a while before deciding to go old school and pay a visit to the local church instead.

It was one of those moments that caused you to think about all the things in your life that had led you to this very moment right there as you walked through the dimly lit church, candles lit and hymns softly playing in the background.

You had asked a kind clergy worker if they knew anyone who could perform an exorcism or banishment on demons. Of course he had stared at you with wide eyes before rushing you into one of the backrooms, introducing you to a frail man, in his early seventies at the least.

He was called Father Harry and when you told him about the mare he seemed somewhat familiar with the demons and knew the Latin to get rid of them. His gaze bored into you and you found yourself fidgeting and gulping under his intense, narrowed eyes. He had those eyes, the ones where you just know he’d seen things you wouldn’t believe, well you supposed you would believe it now. After all you believed in demons, you had seen one with your own eyes after all. Its face haunting you everywhere you went. Particularly now, now that you knew it was back.

Which raised an entirely important question of why and how had it returned?

Morpheus had insisted the nightmares would not come back, and insisted that the mare was definitely gone. But he never stated how he knew that exactly, nor did he say if there were any other stray mares ready and awaiting to feast on you or the rest of humanity’s vulnerable mind. And he wouldn’t have lied to you, surely not.

You thanked the father repeatedly as you led him into your apartment the next day and into your bedroom, he walked around for a while, eyes surveying the environment. You only grew anxious by the second when he didn’t say a single thing for the longest time.

“Is something the matter?” You asked, trying to not let your voice expose your fear.

He stopped in his tracks and sighed, in one swift notion he took off his glasses and turned to you apprehensively. “I’m feeling nothing”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Pardon?”

He licked his lips coming closer. “I cannot sense a mare”

“But trust me this has to be the cause, I dealt with it a couple of months ago and my friend banished them and just like that the nightmares went away” You stuttered, lips parting in confusion.

The man stood in front of you, nodding. “I believe you, but I do not sense a single malicious spirit near you or this home”

Your forehead creased in confusion, eyes darting to the floor as disappointment crawled into your heart.

The man studied you again, before rubbing his eyes. “I will perform the banishment for you still, but I can’t say for sure it will get rid of your nightmares” Your face somewhat lit up in at least a semblance of hope as you thanked him again, a weak smile stretching on your lips.

He surveyed you with a critical eye. “But if you want my opinion? Whoever your friend was, who got rid of them last time, you should enlist their help”

Your smile faltered. “Not an option, I’m afraid” You swallowed harshly before looking up at him. “All I’ve got is me”

He peered at you contemplatively before nodding, a pitying smile pulling on his thin lips.

He performed the banishment ritual. But that night you still dreamt of a raven, a sacrifice and a death.

------------------

Next and last on the (very short) list was a witch. You had never believed in witches before but after meeting demons, dreams and an endless, witches were suddenly a very real and very believable notion to you. It wasn’t particularly hard to find a respectable practitioner online with extremely good reviews, named Tara. When you messaged her about the mares she said she had never been in close contact with one but would be happy to help you out.

A few days later she came to your apartment and upon first glance she was extremely interested in, you.

It started when you had led her to your bedroom and immediately her focus was drawn not on the environment, but instead your anxious figure waiting in the doorway. She studied you with beady eyes making you fidget uncomfortably. “Is everything okay?” You nervously chuckled.

Her eyes were still narrowed in concentration. “Yes, I’m sorry for staring it’s just, you have an extremely interesting aura”

“Aura?” You responded in disbelief. Here we go.

Tara shook herself out of her trance. “Sorry, It's just you feel so-”

“So?” You urged, growing slightly impatient.

“So different” She stepped closer. “This is going to sound crazy but sometimes I can just get a sense about where people are going in life, and you?” She laughed, in disbelief. “You are very important to something ”

You smirked in amusement. “Important?”

“Incredibly so”

You nodded slowly, mindlessly though extremely confused.

She shook her head again. “I’m sorry, I’ve weirded you out haven’t I?”

“No, actually yes but trust me, it’s welcome” You huffed. “I’ve been weirded out by a lot of stuff”

Tara furrowed her eyebrows before realisation seeped into her facial expression. "Of course, that’s why you feel different” A faint smile played on her lips. “You know more than you’re letting on”

Your forehead creased. “More than I’m letting on?”

“About what’s out there” She jerked her head to your window.

‘Out there’ being the world, the universe.

You bit your lip, unsure how much you should have said. “I know some things about the universe, yes”

She nodded, giving you a knowing smirk. “Makes sense”

She turned back around looking back at the rest of your room and you let out a breath of air, maybe this woman really was crazy? Or maybe you were Important. The notion was ridiculous, I mean yes of course you were important, wasn’t everyone? Important to select individuals, maybe that's what she meant, nothing more.

You watched curiously as the woman walked around your room. “What’s this?” She asked, creeping over to your bed, as she slowly started to pull out a long black coat.

You instantly rushed to her side. “Please, be careful with it”

She gave you a trusting glance as she handed it to you, you took Morpheus’ coat in your hands and stroked the fabric. “It belonged to someone important to you” She gently stated.

Your eyes snatched up to hers. “How did you know that?”

“I just get a sense” She shrugged, an amused smirk on her lips as she repeated her earlier words.

You searched her eyes and let your guard down only by a bit as you stared at the coat in your arms, thumb brushing against the soft fabric. “Despite it all I like to believe it helps me sleep better”

Tara gave you an understanding smile, before turning her glance to the rest of the room

“Well, I’m sorry I hate to admit it but I think your exorcist was right, I’m not sensing anything strange either” She turned to you. “Whatever it is you’re dealing with its not a mare or any kind of demon”

You let out a frustrated sigh as you placed the coat back on the bed. Before dragging your hands down your face. “How is that possible?”

She shrugged. “I’m sorry, maybe your nightmares aren’t being supernaturally influenced this time”

You turned to scowl at her. “You think this is my mind doing this, purposefully giving me these nightmares?”

Tara let out a huff of air. “I don’t know, whatever it is it's clearly affecting you”

You narrowed your eyes, silently challenging her before she sighed. “Look, I know we just met and I’m completely out of line, but you look like you haven’t slept in years”

You let out a sharp laugh. Normally you might’ve been offended, but she was right after all. You were all too aware of the massive eye bags that had slumped around your eyes, making you look half dead, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, you just assumed when you had started sleeping normally again they would eventually disappear. You had said that several months ago now though, before the nightmares came back.

You turned to her. “Yeah, I know, truth is I haven’t been sleeping well for months even before the nightmares started”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” She studied you for a second. “Maybe it's a force bigger than demons”

“Like who?” You exasperated.

“Someone more relevant to your issues” She responded.

You slowly blinked, your amusement fading away. “Like someone who controls sleep?” You tensed as your figure became slightly more rigid. “Someone who controls dreams?”

Her gaze was on your bed, on his coat before she looked back up at you carefully, eyes boring into you. “If such being exists then yes I would suggest they were the cause of your troubles or would at least know the cause of your troubles”

Your face faltered as you winced your eyes shut. You knew who would exactly give you your answers. But you had no way of getting to him.

And even if you could, if he still loved you the way you loved him, then you were putting Lorna at risk, and whilst you may be not on the best terms with her, you still loved her and could not lose her, or Veronica or anyone else important in your life.

But then again who's to say he still loved you? It had been four months, meaning you two had been further apart than you had ever even known each other. Maybe his feelings had slowly dissipated the way you had hoped yours had. And whilst the thought hurt like hell, maybe just maybe it was true.

There was only one way to find out.

You could’ve just given up, resign yourself to the clutches of insanity. But no. You wanted more for yourself than that. Despite all the pain you had endured you still wanted to live somewhat of a life, and you couldn’t do that with the nightmares terrorizing and traumatising you every night.

But how were you even supposed to get to Morpheus when the necklace no longer worked and-

Oh.

The book.

You never got rid of the book, nor did Morpheus take it. It was still sitting on your bookshelf collecting dust. If you did the ritual again, ask for an audience, it would take you straight to the throne room.

But was it worth it? Was it worth the risk?

And not just Lorna.

But was it worth the risk of seeing him again, was it worth the risk of knowing if he still loved you? And all the pain it would inevitably cause you when you would leave him again.

You thought back to your nightmares, waking up every night, every morning in a panicked haze, feeling the overbearing grief of losing whatever that raven is.

Universe and Morpheus be fucked you had to try.

“Fuck” You whispered to yourself, knowing you had your answer.

Tara slowly turned to her, eyebrows furrowed. “You okay?”

You peeled your eyes open, cursing yourself. “Do you do protection spells?”

Her forehead creased as she nodded. “I do”

You tiredly turned your gaze to her before you let out a shaky breath. “I have some people I need to know will be safe”

------------------------

“So just again for me, Lorna Richards, Veronica Parker and your mother?” Tara said as she stood in your doorway, scribbling down the names on a piece of paper.

“Yes, that’s it” You nodded.

She looked up at you and nodded, “I’ll do them this afternoon and text you when they have been casted.”

You licked your lips. “And how powerful are the spells?”

“They will be protected against any witchcraft, supernatural creature or powers”

You looked up at her cautiously. “What about the universe?”

She raised her eyebrows. “The universe?”

You fiddled with your fingers. “Yeah, well you know, the universe likes to take action sometimes”

Tara stared at you, her expression unreadable, before she sighed. “I can’t say for sure they will be protected from that, but what I can do is do some divination work and let you know if they are in danger, before you do whatever it is you’re going to do”

“You would?” You asked, eyes snapping up to hers.

She softly smiled at you before nodding. Without thinking about it you enveloped her in a hug, she was taken aback for a second before she wrapped her arms around you. You shut your eyes, grasping onto her and you soon realised that Lorna, Veronica and your mother may soon be protected, but you weren’t.

There was no promise that the universe wouldn’t take action against you instead this time. And if Lorna had been a warning. Then whatever it would do to you, would be the final judgement, the final punishment.

You winced your eyes shut, fear clutching at your breath.

But it had to have been worth it, right?

You had taken the gamble before, on a brisk October night staring at the large book pondering whether the ritual was worth it or not.

And well, if the universe truly didn’t want you doing this, it would have never given you the option to go to Morpheus, just for one last time.

It was it’s own fault, really.

You pulled away from her and awkwardly laughed. “Sorry, I really needed that”

“Not to worry” She gave you a kind smile “I’ll keep you updated”

You nodded as you waved goodbye as she disappeared out of your sight.

You shut your door and the bang echoed in your ears as nausea crept up your throat. She had given you so much to think about, and yet, your mind seemed to focus on one thing, Morpheus.

If there truly was no mare. Then the only other cause would have been him .

Was it him, causing the nightmares this time?

Was he punishing you?

He wouldn’t.

Surely not?

One thing for sure despite your still ever growing love for him, if it was him who was causing them. You would not be going down without a fight.

--------------------

Whilst you waited with anxious breath for Tara to arrive home and do her bits you decided to instead wait around the apartment you would go for a walk.

After all, if you were going to do the ritual, you were going to need a feather.

Since it had started to get lighter in the evenings, it allowed the sun to beam longer in the sky meaning the twilight lasted longer. The air felt refreshing against your tense body as you stumbled past the trees that were growing evergreen and getting ready to bloom for summer as it was just around the corner.

How fast the seasons had come and gone.

Each season bled into one another, passing by silently as the year turned every corner.

Autumn and Winter felt like a lifetime ago, the memory entirely unreal. And you hated to admit that those months were starting to become hazy and you soon found it harder and harder to picture Morpheus’ face. Of course, you hadn’t forgotten yet. It just took you a while sometimes.

Had he remembered your face?

You cast the thoughts out as you walked along the path.

You couldn’t help the anxious nausea that crept up your body.

If you were to do the ritual, there was a good chance you may not ever return back to life. The universe may in fact kill you right there and then. Tears bit at your eyes, you didn’t want to die. Obviously, you didn’t want to die. But living in this constant state of paranoia wasn’t much living either.

You had faith in yourself and despite everything it had put you through, you did have faith in the universe.

Still, you had to take precautions. You would write a couple of letters. Just in case. To Lorna, To Veronica and to your mother.

Just to say goodbye.

God, it was so dramatic but it was the absolute worst case scenario.

You knew that there was a chance nothing would happen, which would mean Morpheus did not love you anymore.

But maybe that was for the best after all. Maybe that would be the closure that would help you finally move on, still a harsh lump in the back of your throat made your eyes sting at the thoughts.

The sound of your phone ringing caught you off guard.

“Hello?”

“It’s done, your friends and your mum are protected”

You breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh thank you so much, Tara”

“It’s my honour” Tara beamed through the phone.

“So how long should the spell last?”

“It's very dependent on how much something wants to harm them, but I’d say, two weeks”

You nodded, at least that gave you time to think this over, not having to rush into anything. “Okay good, two weeks, again thank you so much”

“No problem but listen I did the divination” Tara started after hesitating for a while.

“And?” You urged, breath caught in your throat.

“Well, it seems as though your friends and your mother will be okay-”

You winced your eyes shut, an immense amount of pressure lifting from your body. “Oh thank the heavens above”

“Wait, there’s more,” She said quietly.

You furrowed your eyebrows, turning your gaze to the sky as it was casted in red and orange hues. “Go on”

“I know you didn’t ask but, I pulled three tarot cards for you and I think you may want to hear what they had to say”

“Tarot?”

“You familiar?” She asked.

“No, not really” You shook your head. “You’re gonna have to explain what the cards mean to me”

“Of course,” Tara responded. “But before that I just wanted to say that, my readings are up for interpretation and if you don’t resonate with them then that’s totally fine”

You noticed her apprehensive tone and instantly dread grew in the pit of your stomach. “Why, is it bad?” You licked your lips.

There was more hesitation.

“Tara?” You asked, amusement far gone.

“Well it’s certainly something” She chuckled humourlessly.

“Go on” You urged.

There was a sigh before she started to speak. “First card I pulled was the tower, the tower represents sudden upheaval, in other words disaster”

You gulped, palms suddenly becoming sweaty. “Ok, got it disaster, what then?”

“Next was the hanged man”

“Hanged man?”

“Hanged man represents sacrifice and martyrdom” She continued.

A sacrifice.

You felt a harsh ringing in your ear.

You swallowed, voice no more than a whisper. “And the last?”

Silence.

“Tara?”

You heard a deep sigh. “Just before I tell you and you jump to conclusions, let me explain”

“Just what is it?” You exasperated, anticipation and nausea clawing at your throat.

“Death”

A death.

A chill crept down your spine.

“Death hardly ever means you are going to actually die, it simply means a cycle is ending and a new one is beginning, I would argue that it’s a very positive card”

You gulped, mind becoming fuzzy. “Ok, Tara, but where does all this fit in with me and my life?”

It was silent for a while before she answered. “It’s all very much based on your intuition like I said if it doesn’t resonate then just leave it”

Oh it resonated alright. It resonated big time.

“So you can’t be more detailed about it?” You asked, rubbing your tired eyes with your hands. “Can’t tell me what exactly this disaster is going to be?”

“I’ve tried but..” She trailed off.

“But what?”

She hesitated for a while. “It's a strange sensation that I’ve never felt before, It’s like somethings blocking me from knowing, from seeing your future”

You let out a humourless, tired laugh. “Look, Tara, I’m not trying to doubt your abilities but you have to see this from my point of view”

“I know, I know and I’m sorry but trust me my intuition is telling me this is right, I just can’t seem to pinpoint what this is about specifically”

Disaster, sacrifice, death.

If your friends and your mum were protected.

And let's say that you were protected too then, the only other person to worry about would be… him.

You swallowed harshly. “But this is definitely about me, no one else right, no one else in my life?”

She scoffed then. “Oh yeah, it’s got your interesting aura all over it”

You nodded trying to take everything in. “Okay, thank you Tara, listen when I get home I’ll send you the money I owe you for the spells and readings”

“Actually hon, I did the readings for free, they are my gift to you”

You went to thank her profusely and tell her that wasn’t necessary until…you remembered the last time a stranger had been so kind to you.

The keeper stored all of your books into a paper bag.

"How much do I owe you?" You smile at the man as you reach for the purse in your pocket.

"Thirty" He responded.

"Thirty? for all this?" Your eyebrows furrowed.

"I like to throw in a discount for customers who I like," He gave a cheeky smile.

It was when the keeper of the bookstore who wasn’t actually the keeper of the bookstore gave you a book forged in the flames of hellfire. Of course, there is still no reason as to why the demons had done that. Did Morpheus even ever ask Lucifer about it? But you had no doubt it was with malicious intent, a great big scheme to mess up Morpheus’ realm, you had just been the unlucky soul to have walked into it.

You swallowed. “Thank you, Tara, goodbye” Before hanging up the phone.

With a frustrated growl you threw your phone into your pocket. You wanted to believe everything Tara had said but still your trust was indefinitely wavering after remembering that this could simply be another demon trying to mess with you.

And of course if Tara could be a demon then so could the exorcist. Maybe the mare was actually back; they just wanted you to believe it was Morpheus. The conflict in your mind brought you no closer to a resolve as you ran a frustrated hand through your hair letting out another growl.

It was such a fucking mess.

And you found yourself agitated that you had ever been caught up in whatever game this was in the first place. The mares, Lucifer and Morpheus, all of it.

God, maybe your life might’ve been better if you had just never met him.

There were too many ‘What if’s?’ to the whole situation and you felt a headache coming on as tears bit at your eyes, you threw your head up to the sky casting a gaze on the darkening sky

“Please universe, whatever power you are, if you wish to rule my life so much then please tell me what to do now”

You weren’t expecting an answer though you had surely hoped for one, you didn’t truly believe someone or something was listening to you. That was of course until the park you had been walking in seemed to grow silent and a soft rustle of wind brought a thick, black feather to your feet.

With furrowed eyebrows you bent down to pick it up so you could inspect it further. It was an extremely large feather, a rich midnight silk black. A raven’s feather.

You narrowed your eyes.

Something had answered you.

It was a clear as day answer.

“Fuck it” You sighed, again, wincing your eyes shut as you tiredly rubbed at them.

You looked back down at the feather in your grip and your heart skipped a beat.

You were going to see him again.

You were going to see Morpheus.

-------------------------------------

After the day with Tara you decided to wait yet another week before doing the ritual.

You gave the nightmares one last chance to disappear before that was it. Of course, they did not leave, nor did they change or become any easier.

And so that is why you found yourself on a Friday night sat on the edge of your bed, staring and gripping onto the feather for the last hour, anxiety churning in your stomach. Three letters sat on top of your dining table addressed to Lorna, Veronica and Your Mother. Just in case of the worst.

It would be one time. You decided. One visit. You would simply ask him if it had been him giving you the nightmares. If he says yes, you would give him a piece of your mind which would inevitably end up in more nightmares for you. If he says no, you would say thank you and goodbye. How hard could it be?

But still. Even without the impending doom that might be heading your way from the universe. Were you ready to see him?

I mean you were exes now.

It would be awkward. And painful.

And you knew all too well how scary Morpheus could be had you got on the wrong side of him.

But no. You had faith in him. All those nights, touches and words shared he would not cast you out the second you appeared in his throne room.

Still that didn’t mean he would still love you.

And knowing he didn’t love you anymore would crush you. But this wasn’t about you and him anymore. It was about you figuring out how to get rid of these nightmares, going right back to square one.

With jittery legs you walked over to where the thick red book laid on top of your bookshelf, collecting dust. Slowly your arms reached out, and pulled it off of the fine wooden surface. Your eyes swept over the golden words on the scarlet material. Harshly you swallowed as your thumb gently stroked the cover. ‘Crafted in the very depths of hellfire’

You bit the inside of your cheek as you brought it back to your room. Cracking it open at the same page that was dog tagged. With the ritual inscribed at the bottom.

Shaking your head and letting out a shuddering breath as you felt the nausea grow, you grabbed the feather, your head growing fuzzy as you started to read the words.

“I stand here among the waking world seeking an audience with the God Of Dreams, Prince of Stories, Third child of the endless. I stand here in utter devotion and in utter desperation invoking The King Of Dreams. Speak to me now in tongues of Dreams and Nightmares alike. Let me into your realm and you into mine. Speak to me, Dream of the Endless. Speak to me, Lord Morpheus!”

You gulped, tears piercing at your eyes. “Please Morpheus, hear my call” You whispered after the words were recited.

Slowly you put the book back, setting the feather down trudging to your bathroom to get ready to sleep. You started to feel slightly self conscious. Had you changed since the last time you had seen him? Apart from the shrunken in and heavy eyebags, had your hair grown longer?

Anxiously you climbed into bed half of you praying the ritual had worked. The other half hoped it hadn’t so you wouldn’t have to see him and be hit with the overbearing pain all over again.

Before you could be weighed down with anymore treacherous thoughts, your eyelids fluttered shut as you succumbed to sleep.

[darkhangels]

18. the ghost of you

enjoy the silence masterlist

morpheus x f!reader

words: 4188

warnings: emetophobia, swearing

January

January was always a hard month, no matter the circumstance. A cold, gruelling, grey month that dragged on and on, prolonging the misery. This year of course was only worse. The cold had become excruciating, making going outside all that much harder.

Lorna had gotten out of the hospital after new years, making a smooth recovery. You tried to visit her as often as possible but it was growing increasingly difficult as the guilt for the accident still plagued you. Still, you buried it and tried to unknowingly make it up to her. She knew something was up, and she knew with who. But she didn’t ask, knowing you didn’t want to talk. She spent her days watching tv, playing video games, board games with you and Veronica as she tried to use her leg as little as possible, to speed up the healing process.

And though it was difficult seeing Lorna’s face, a harsh reminder of what you had done to her and what you had consequently given up to save her. You still loved her company, always would. It was just slightly more bittersweet now, your smile faltering every time she complained about her leg hurting or mention anything of the accident, anything about that day.

And it was unfair, you knew it was unfair, after all she was the one who had a building land down on her, not you. You had no right to be moping and acting like the traumatised one, so you covered it up in smiles and laughs unwilling to dampen Lorna’s life anymore.

Your boss and owner of the coffee shop had sent all the employers remaining wages to carry you all through until you found a new job. You knew you had to start looking but it was difficult to try and sell yourself to employers when you were going through perhaps the worst emotional turmoil of your life. The wages would do for now.

If nothing else, your relationship with your mother has in fact gotten better. She had become much warmer towards you, incredibly more caring, like how she should’ve been in the first place. She knew something had happened with you but she knew you wouldn’t budge when asked about it so she instead checked up on you regularly, bringing you food, talking about nonsense and still reeling from her Norwegian honeymoon.

You actually enjoyed her visits, grateful for the mindless conversations that came with them. You felt at least that side of you finally begin to heal.

Your sleeping schedule was perhaps the worst it had been for a very long time. Sleeping became hard. Really hard. You had practically gone straight from having nightmares every night to having dates with your (ex) boyfriend in your dreams every night, so you hadn’t particularly been used to normal sleeping. Getting to sleep was the worst part, you would lie awake trying to distract yourself from your mind wandering to him. Reading a book, watching a film or television series, anything that meant your brain didn’t go wandering, you would be okay with it.

And when you finally did get to sleep at around 3 am or 4 am your dreams were normal. And maybe that’s what had freaked you out the most, you had been so used to your dreams being manipulated by demons and then him that the last time you had dreamt normally was in the beginning of September, nearly five months ago.

And somehow something about having normal dreams felt wrong. It felt even weirder when you knew that in some way or another you were still visiting the dreaming every night, just not in the way you had been. How many times had you entered his kingdom upon sleeping? Gotten so close to being together you could practically taste him on your tongue and yet- you never saw him, never heard him, never felt him.

It was how it had to be of course but it was going to take some getting used to. A lot of getting used to .

And then when you woke it was way past noon and getting out of bed was a task proving to become increasingly difficult as the days passed.

You were beginning to think you would never have a normal relationship with sleep no matter how hard you tried to. After all, how could you? When your sleep would almost always remind you of him.

You had repressed and hidden all reminders of him. You had tucked away the necklace in a jewellery box you had kept out of site. The coat went back into the wardrobe. You hadn’t touched it since New Years, too scared to lose it or damage it in some way.

Sometimes you could almost feel him there, in your bedroom staring at you with those twinkling eyes. But you knew he wasn’t. It was like a ghost haunting you wherever you went. His words echoing in his ears telling you you shouldn’t do that, guiding you, mocking you sometimes as well. You knew it wasn’t actually him and it was just your brain trying to cope in the strangest ways.

His absence had left you with a permanent heartache that paralyzed you at the randomest of times. It felt like a crushing weight being dropped like a stack of bricks on your soul. Everything reminded you of him. And that was the problem.

Still, you continued on, despite your harrowing loneliness. Pushing through each day and mentally preparing for the next, one day at a time.

After all, it would get better.

It had to get better.

------------------------

Matthew had sidled up beside Morpheus one day, asking him if you were ever coming back. The rain that had plagued the dreaming had slowly and slowly dissipated but the clouds were still there, grey clouds that covered every inch of the dreaming, closing them in.

Lucienne and Matthew had figured out what had happened, it had been on her mind since she saw the way her lord had looked at you for the first time, she knew mortals and the endless could not be together like the way you had.

She had warned him, and had expected him to attempt to put her in her place but he only solemnly nodded, muttering out an “I know”.

Why he didn’t stop wasn't beyond Lucienne, she had seen him in love before, as rare as it was, she had seen it. And she had to admit to even herself you had fit in extraordinarily well in the dreaming, Lucienne even calling you a friend. She missed you.

And Matthew missed you.

But most of all her Lord missed you not that he would ever show it. He had gone back to his default cold exterior, telling her all she had needed to know.

“She is mortal, she should never have been here in the first place” Morpheus rather coldly spoke, not looking up from the reading on his lap.

Matthew cawed. “Yeah but you two were-” Matthew stopped, looking down.

His master's eyes drew down to the raven, narrowing and challenging the bird. “We were what?”

Matthew stared back into his master's eyes and stumbled on his words, and with a sigh let out a melancholy “Doesn’t matter,” before flying back to the library.

Morpheus watched as his raven disappeared from out of sight. His jaw hardened as he slowly blinked, your face cruelly creeping its way into his thoughts. He swallowed harshly going back to his duties, plastering a scowl on his face.

---------------------

February

Money was getting low, you had to find a job. Of course there were still no careers suddenly calling to you, so you found an easy retail job at the local store. Retail was somehow worse than hospitality. Customers were mean, real mean. You had dealt with a plethora of old ladies yelling at you because the store was out of a specific food brand. Then of course there were sniggering teenagers who just loved to push all of your buttons, as if you weren’t already on the brink of your breaking point. Still, it paid pretty much the same as the coffee shop and would do, for now.

Sleeping schedule was still bad, getting to sleep was perhaps the most challenging point of your day. And your mind cruelly suggested that maybe this was his doing, maybe he was punishing you for falling in love with him. But you knew that was untrue, once again this was just your mind doing what it did best, fucking you over.

Lorna’s leg was getting better, you hardly saw her less this month than you did in January, work was busy or so you told her. The overwhelming guilt was only getting worse and you couldn’t help but worry about her, worry for her. What if the universe was still going to punish you for loving him from afar? So you distanced yourself. For her safety.

She said she understood that you had to take a lot of shifts at the store so that you would get the money flowing back in, but she knew you were distancing yourself, for whatever reason you may have had, she knew.

Corey had come into your work, the familiar face gave you a breath of relief except he looked…weird. His face seemed a tad sunken in and he looked tired, hell, even as tired as you. You asked him if he was okay. He said not to worry and that everything would make sense soon enough.

You were weirded out for the rest of the day, deciding he was just on drugs or maybe even something else, he continued to visit you over the course of the month, thankfully he didn’t say anything strange like before.

He asked about Murphy.

You told him you had broken up.

Valentine's day came and passed with a harsh heart ache.

You wanted to believe that you had hardly thought about him, but you did. Of course you did. All the time something would remind you of him and you’d start smiling to yourself only to then be hit with the painstaking reminder of what you could never have again.

You missed his touch, his voice, his presence.

God, you missed him so much. It felt like a deadweight on your heart, your soul whenever you thought about him, craving and aching for him once more.

You still loved him, that was undeniable.

You would find yourself going about your day, wondering what he would be doing at this exact moment. Probably brooding on his throne, creating new dreams perhaps?

You wondered if he missed you too.

A cruel voice in your brain told you he had already moved on, already forgotten about you as the time passed.

You had seen a raven the other day and you wondered how Lucienne and Matthew were, wondered if they had forgotten about you, wondered if they spoke about you. If he had told them about what had happened and why you could no longer visit, though the two weren’t dumb, they would’ve figured it out sooner or later.

-------------------

March

Spring was finally unravelling as the cold air started to warm ever so slightly, grass growing greener and the sun's power starting to wax, readying itself for the coming months.

Work was fine, you had made some casual friends with your co-workers, no one special, just small talk and smiles to get you through your shifts.

You missed the coffee shop, it was almost like a second home to you, the rubble had been completely cleared from the street a while ago now. Your boss sold the land to someone else, deciding there was just not enough money to rebuild it.

You hadn’t seen Lorna in an incredibly long time.

And you had never felt so lonely in perhaps your entire life.

You pulled yourself up one weekend, promising yourself you would see Lorna and Veronica today. You had gotten to their apartment, only for Lorna to glare at you as soon as her eyes landed on you.

“Are you okay?” You asked furrowing your eyebrows in the doorway.

“Yeah, not that you would know” She bit at you.

You flinched and swallowed. “Look I know I haven’t been around for a while but work has been busy and-”

“Cut the crap” Lorna huffed.

Your gaze turned to behind Lorna as Veronica appeared, wincing her eyes shut. “Come on in” She said to you.

Lorna turned around giving her girlfriend a look of disbelief before rolling her eyes and allowing you to walk in. Hesitantly and awkwardly you stumbled in, hearing the door slam behind you. Lorna slowly walked in front of you, her face full with disdain. She had finally gotten her cast off, you realised.

“What's up with you?” You asked knowing fully well what was wrong.

“You don’t call, you don’t come and see us, what is up with you?” She hissed.

You gulped, you had hardly ever seen Lorna mad, especially with you. It happened on a very rare occurrence when you actually fucked up.

“I’m sorry but trust me I had good reasons” You said apologetically sighing at her.

Lorna's forehead creased, crossing her arms. “Good reasons? Please enlighten us”

You opened your lips to argue but nothing came out. How could you tell her that all you were trying to do was protect her? You looked away, ashamedly closing your mouth.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought” Lorna scoffed. “Look I know your emo boyfriend left you or whatever-”

Your eyes snatched up to hers, a jab of pain searing through you.

“Lorna,” Veronica warned eyes going back between the two of you sensing where the conversation was going to go.

Lorna turned to her girlfriend. “No! She needs to hear this”

Veronica shook her head with a deep sigh passing through her lips.

Lorna turned back to you a new kind of anger in her eyes. “I have been patient, I didn’t push, I was expecting that eventually you would talk about it” She walked closer to you. “But no, nothing, you’ve just said nothing”

“Lorna, come on, can we not do this now?” You said your voice only just above a whisper, eyes pleading for her to change the subject.

“And honestly I don’t care what happened anymore” She said, ignoring your pleas. “What? You know the guy for like two months and he leaves and then you just disappear?” She searched for her words.

“Disappear?” You growled, hurt turning to anger. “I know I have not been around this month but I was there for you, I was there for you as much as I could be”

“Really?” She huffed. “Thank you so much for gracing us with your presence, your excellency”

You let out a humourless laugh and rolled your eyes and Veronica shook her head again at her girlfriend's words.

Lorna's eyes softened then only a bit. “I have seen you sad and defeated before but this?” She stopped, her eyes watering. “This is something different, it’s like you’re not even sad you’re just gone”

Your lip trembled, as you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Gone?”

“And worst of all you won’t even talk to me about it” She added. “Is that not what friends are for?”

“Look, I’m just not ready yet-”

“It's been three months!” She shouted. You flinched at her loud tone, blinking in shock. “You were fine for a while and then you just shut off” A tear dripped down her face and Veronica placed a hand on her shoulder.

“What did we do?” Lorna asked.

“Nothing, you did nothing! I just needed space. I needed to deal with it on my own, I still am” You pleaded looking between the two of them.

“To deal with what!” She shouted. “What could’ve possibly happened that fucked you up this much?”

You stumbled back.

“God, it just feels like you’re fucking addicted to your own pain sometimes” Lorna stressed rushing a frustrated hand through her hair. “It's like the nightmares all over again”

Your mouth hung open in shock, her words hitting you like a train before your jaw tightened, eyes narrowing. “And I dealt with it, by myself, got rid of them, by myself”

Lorna scoffed “Yeah after a month of suffering, when you could’ve easily have gone to a psychiatrist and told them the truth and gotten the actual mental help you so clearly need”

“Lorna!” Veronica barked in surprise at her cruel words.

You shook your head, unwilling to believe the words coming out of her mouth.

Lorna ignored her girlfriend. She chuckled humourlessly. “Did you do the same thing to Morpheus? Shut him off too?”

“Lorns, please” Veronica begged.

Your face paled, you had dared to speak his name. It was the first time you had heard it in three months. Nausea crept up your throat and your patience was starting to wear thin.

“Look, I know I’ve been a bad friend and I’m so fucking sorry about that, I want to make it up to you guys as much as possible” Your mouth became dry. “But quite frankly, what happened is none of your business and if I don’t want to share that, I don’t have to”

Lorna looked taken aback for a second before her gaze hardened, she slowly nodded. “You know what, you want to be alone so badly, then just go”

You shook your head. “No Lorna, please let's talk about this”

Lorna crossed her arms with a cold resolve on her face. “Well I don’t and you’re right its none of my business, so get out of our fucking house”

Veronica turned to Lorna. “Lorna, come on, this is stupid”

“No, Lorna, I’m not leaving” You stood your ground. “Let's talk about this like adults”

Lorna just continued to glare before walking away. “I need space,” She growled.

Veronica sent an apologetic look your way. “Maybe come back tomorrow?”

You nodded weakly before leaving, tears clouding your vision.

Lorna's words struck you in a place you didn’t even know existed. You were second guessing your every action, all this time and you had thought that considering everything you were dealing pretty well with at least hiding it.

But no, in your persistence to not trouble or worry your friends you had done exactly that.

You had caused Lorna pain in one way or another.

How many times were you going to hurt those around you because of your incapability to get over your emotions?

You came back the next day. Lorna didn’t want to speak to you, or the day after that, or the day after that.

You had sent her texts, voice messages, tried calling her. All sent through but none opened.

Veronica kept in contact, letting you know that they were at least ok and safe.

----------------------

April

A week later since the ‘intervention’ and still no contact from Lorna, you wished to simply evaporate away, hide away for a couple of months until the heartbreak finally would dissipate. You had rather foolishly thought that with time the pain would get easier. In some ways it did, but not enough. He still consumed your mind like a disease.

You were all too aware that the two of you had now nearly been apart for just as long as you had known each other.

Time was passing and your heartache was not.

Would it ever go away?

Despair clawed at your throat practically every waking moment and ironically you thought how much Morpheus’ younger sister must’ve been enjoying your pain.

You crept into your apartment after a particularly trying day at work left you completely defeated, you didn’t even bother with dinner, too fed up, only wanting to disappear into your bed.

Walking into your bedroom and throwing off your work clothes and slipping into your pyjamas, and in an act of weakness walked to the wardrobe. Your eyes instantly fell on the coat that had not been touched in four months. You sucked in a breath as your fingertips softly danced along the soft material as tears bit at your eyes. The comforting and familiar fabric of the coat gave you a warmth sense of relief that you so desperately needed at the moment, a flash of memories from November and December rushing through your brain.

To think that Morpheus had once owned it, wore it and now it was in your wardrobe. You considered the coat slowly, you had done so well to remove all reminders of him from your life in a desperate attempt to get over him, if such a thing was possible. But it had been four months and you needed some sense of familiarity, some comfort. You needed home . And seeming as you couldn't see him, your home. This would be the next best thing. You deserved at least some kind of warmth no matter how pathetic you had felt about it.

With a defeated sigh you pulled the coat off of the hanger and wrapped yourself in the black material. Cautiously you pulled the collar to your nose and as if you had been preserved in glass all this time, a scent of sandalwood and fresh winter air hit your nose. And suddenly it was an October night begging the King of Dreams to let you help him figure out what was causing the disturbance in your dreams and in his realm. All at once it felt like you were in his arms again, you felt safe and loved. Treasured. Your eyes watered and you bit back a sob.

You softly meandered over to your bedroom window, craning your neck to look into the black inky sky. A few stars spotted and gleamed at you, and you felt a pull on your heart strings, and for the first time in a long time you allowed a tear to escape your eyes.

Ripping yourself away from the window you climbed into bed, the coat still engulfing your body and for the first time in a long time you fell asleep almost instantly.

A raven.

A sacrifice.

A death.

You are tied up, held back by three men wearing sanguine velvet cloaks, opposite you more men in cloaks crowd around a podium. The man in the middle has a horrid scar running down his face, slashing over his eyes and ending just before his chin.

Strapped to the podium is a raven, helplessly squirming against the tight binds holding it down. The scarred man looks up at you with a sinister smile and all the air seemingly exits your lungs. Heartbeat echoing in your ears and bile rising up your throat, you could do nothing but watch.

The man's smile turned into a manic chuckle as he looked down at the creature before him, grabbing one of the raven's wings and in one mighty pull, tore the wing straight out of its delicate body. An agonising shrill scream left your throat as you thrashed against the cloaked men.

The piercing sound of more ripping came from the podium as more sobs racketed through your body as you continued to scream out, pleading, begging. The raven's croak became desperate as it wailed in pain.

The raven still somewhat alive slowly turned its head to you, its eyes boring into yours, painfully tugging on every single emotion you had left and the most insidious heart dropping feeling plummeted through you making you fall to the stony cold floor.

God, its eyes. Deep vast black spheres that reflected the entire cosmos back at you. Your sobbing ceased for just that moment as you stared at each other.

Endlessly.

And somehow, something within you had changed. A greater feeling of understanding and bittersweet relief. With a shaky breath and the last of all of your strength you barged into the cloaked figure on your right. In a swift movement you grabbed the silver dagger that had been settled in the belt of his robe.

With one last glance at the raven, who let out a haunting screech at the site of the dagger in your hand, you plunged the object into your chest.

You jumped up, breath heaving as you clutched at your chest desperately trying to get your breathing back, terror seized at your heart. As dread seeped through your body, your head rushed. Eyes widened in fear and shock.

“No, no,” You whispered to yourself. “Not now, please”

Tears stung at your eyes and you felt bile rising up your throat as you ran to the bathroom, emptying your guts as you vomited. You sat back against your sink, your skin clammy and sweaty as you desperately tried to get your breathing back to some kind of normal state. Your eyes winced shut, head in your hands, knees tucked to your chest. Body trembling and shaking.

They were back.

The nightmares were back.

[darkhangels]

17. happy new year

enjoy the silence masterlist

morpheus x f!reader

A/N:  Double update for today! Second chapter is shorter than usual...you'll see why ;). Just wanted to let you guys know that if updates are slowing down its because I'm writing way more words in a chapter than I used to and also I'm at a stage where I'm very insecure about my writing atm. Don't worry, I'm still always writing for this fic, just be gentle with me lmao. Also December is a very busy month for me so it may slow down due to that as well. Anyways, as always thank you so much for reading and for the likes, reblogs and comments, you all mean the world to me <3

words: 7598

warnings: brief injury description, swearing, angst

Morpheus stood as still as ever outside of the now destroyed coffee shop that you had worked at. Firefighters and numerous policemen way out of their league swarmed the ruins as they taped up the destruction, not allowing the crowd of reporters and concerned citizens to go any further.

The ground had cracked open rather violently, making sure the building would never see the light of day again.

He watched mortals run around unknowing what to do in light of the strange event. This would make international news, conspiracy theorists already piling up with insane hoaxes about the event.

His Jaw was tightened as he stood rigid, his hands inside his pockets.

It was clearly no accident.

The universe had a way of working and this was one of them. The universe was punishing you by taking away your work, your livelihood and hurting your friend.

It was a threat, a promise of what to come if the two of you continued to be with one another.

Despite it all, a part of him was relieved. Relieved that this was the warning, and that no physical harm had come to you.

But it served as a painful reminder for the both of you.

He felt a familiar presence walk beside him, he didn’t bother looking up at her as she stood beside him, watching the ruin.

“Was anyone killed?” He muttered out.

Death turned to her brother with a sad smile haunting her lips. “No, her friend will be okay”

Morpheus nodded, his gaze still on the scene in front of him.

“This wasn’t an accident” She said while studying him. “Though you knew that already, didn’t you”

Morpheus turned to peer at her, her kind eyes boring into him. “You knew the rules” She shrugged.

Morpheus slowly looked down at the floor, swallowing harshly. “I’ve been foolish”

Death had that effect on him. He was always so unwilling to speak his mind, ever the private anthropomorphic personification he was but around his elder sister? Much to his annoyance she always saw straight through him.

Death scoffed. “You think? Did you even consider the danger you’d be putting her in?”

He scowled at her but he knew she was only telling the truth. “I did,” He muttered.

“Evidently not enough” Death scolded her brother before sighing at his miserable figure. “You can be incredibly selfish at times, you know that?”

Morpheus glared at her his gaze hardening as he opened his lips to argue. “Selfish?” He argued. “I tried to keep her at bay despite my affections”

Death scoffed again, a look of disbelief searing onto her face. “Are you listening to yourself? You ‘tried’ ” She air quoted the word as she shook her head. “You are one of the most powerful beings in existence, if you had truly tried this wouldn’t of happened”

Morpheus scowled at his sister, his eyebrows brooding over his eyes but he knew she was right, he had been selfish. Ultimately he had put you in danger simply because of the feelings he felt for you.

And though you weren’t physically hurt, your friend had been harmed and Morpheus knew you would not shake that off so easily.

In one way or another he had hurt you. Again.

And Morpheus cursed himself. How many more times was he going to cause the ones he loved suffering because of his selfishness?

Death studied her brother slowly, sensing the emotional turmoil. “What were you thinking, Morpheus?” She said softer this time.

He remained silent but Death knew his answer, he didn’t think. He cared far too much to think.

Death smirked. “Always was the hopeless romantic of the family”

Morpheus looked down, ignoring her statements.

Death's smile faded as she watched Morpheus’ sombre expression. “The universe is being kind” She spoke quietly.

His eyes snatched up to hers. “Kind?” He repeated angrily.

“Yes, kind,” Death affirmed. “It could’ve just taken her away from you instead its giving you a warning, a chance to keep her safe”

Morpheus’ expression melted into a contemplative one. He supposed his sister was right. But the universe was far from kind. If the universe was so kind it wouldn’t have let the two of you have ever crossed paths knowing what would become of it.

Death studied Morpheus’ expression. “Do you love her?” She asked gently.

Morpheus looked up at her, eyes burning with unshed tears, unspoken words lingering.

More than she knows. He silently answered in his head, just to himself. More than I am willing to admit to even myself.

He swallowed harshly and Death could read her brother like an open book, her heart melting at the sight of his melancholy. Death sadly smiled, placing a hand on her brother's shoulder. “Then you have to let her go, or next time the universe won’t be so kind”

Morpheus nodded slowly, his Adam apple bobbing up and down so slightly. He knew what he had to do.

Death pulled her brother into a hug. For once Morpheus greatly welcomed the feeling of comfort from his elder sister and he was overcome with a great sense of gratitude for her, she always said what he needed to hear.

The two pulled away and Death's face fell into one of shock before a slight grave smile landed on her lips, peering gently at Morpheus. “She must’ve really pulled a number on you, you nearly hugged me back for once”

Morpheus allowed his lip to twitch up at that before he watched his sister walk away with a wave goodbye. Leaving him to brew in his thoughts and prepare himself for what must be done.

He was an endless.

He was not meant for love.

He was meant to fulfil his function, nothing more.

Except he was realising it all too late.

----------------

When you arrived at the hospital you swiftly spoke to the nurse over the counter who told you she would be notifying Veronica that you had arrived. With a nod you drifted to the waiting room.

No one likes hospitals. They were claustrophobic and anxiety inducing. Except for perhaps birth there was almost no happy reason for being there. The stretching winding corridors and harsh lights cause you to nervously bite at your lips, fearing the worst.

Your eyes drifted around to the people around you, elderly and young alike sitting miserably in the dull grey seats, some had red rimmed eyes and held on to tissues they nervously pulled apart in between their nimble fingers. Maybe they had lost a loved one or were going to, maybe it was the dreadful reminder of morality and the fragileness of life that haunted the walls of the hospital getting to them. It was surely getting to you after all.

Life was so short, a fleeting blink of an eye, you had already wasted so much of it, how could you waste anymore? And suddenly all your insecurities from the night before with Morpheus dwindled into a past memory, a childish notion. He loved you. And you see it now. Of course he had, in every moment you felt his love and yet your inability to see it caused this.

You had practically forced him to say the words, if he hadn’t, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. More guilt crashed into you then.

How childish you had been? Crying over problems your mind created for you when everything you had ever wanted was right in front of you.

And now it would be ripped away.

You needed to apologise to Morpheus.

If you ever saw him again that was.

You drew your attention to the tiny TV playing a live news report from outside what was the coffee shop. And your heart sank.

It was completely gone, melted into nothing more than a pile of stone and dust on the street. You bit back the tears as you watched the police officers and firefighters helplessly scratch their head at the mess, not knowing what to do.

Your tiny little coffee shop had made international news, headlines everywhere on the ‘strange new years eve earthquake taking down beloved café’. You supposed you were unemployed now. How long had you worked there for, how many shifts with Lorna spent giggling over the stupidest things.

All gone.

Because of you.

You felt a hand on your shoulder causing you to jump out of your thoughts and you swiftly turned to find Veronica behind you. Almost instantly she threw you into a hug and you reciprocated, holding her tightly.

She pulled away and you noticed her red rimmed eyes, not used to seeing her so flat and dejected. You swallowed harshly, trying to find your voice.

“How is she?” You whispered.

Veronica bit on her lip and nodded. “She’s awake and she’ll be fine, she has a broken leg but she’ll be fine”

You breathed a long sigh of relief.

Veronica shook her head furiously. “She was the only one hurt, everyone else managed to escape without so much of a scratch on them, it was just her” Her voice was just above a whisper.

More guilt crept up your throat and you chewed at your lip before placing a hand on Veronica's shoulder. “She will be fine, you can rest, get something to eat or drink” You softly smiled at your friend. “I will stay with her while you go freshen up”

Veronica nodded with a sincere look of gratitude on her face, a few tears spilling out of her eyes. “Thank you”

You considered her, giving her another smile before pulling her into another hug.

God knew she needed it.

If something had happened to Morpheus you would’ve been-.

You pushed the thoughts out of your head, unwilling to think about him. The pain too much to bear.

A kind nurse led you to the room Lorna was currently staying in. Your heart instantly jumped at the sight of your friend in the cold, surgical hospital room. Her skin felt paler than usual, as bruises scattered her body. Your eyes followed her body down to the end of the bed, her leg was propped up on in a bulky cast that she was no doubt going to complain about for weeks to come.

Lorna's eyes snapped up to yours and a bright grin grew on her face.

You practically ran to her and engulfed her in a gentle but warm embrace. She giggled against you as a few tears left your eyes.

“I knew you loved me really” She dramatically cried and you laughed as a few more tears left your eyes and you pulled away from her.

“Are you okay?”

It was a stupid question really, she had had a building crash down on her and ended with a broken leg. Of course she wasn’t okay.

“Me?” Lorna scoffed. “I’ll be fine, the only thing that is hurt is my leg and my ego” She chuckled.

In the hospital and she was still cracking jokes, typical Lorna.

You weakly smiled as you turned your gaze to her arms littered in bruises and cuts, you sucked in a breath, eyes ripping away from her injuries, unable to take it. “Lorns, I’m so sorry” You whispered, biting back the tears.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Why? Not your fault we had an earthquake” She laughed.

You smiled weakly but bit on your tongue as you grabbed her hand, warmly squeezing it.

This was your fault though.

All of it.

You had been willing to risk your life for Morpheus, willing to ruin yourself. It hadn’t even crossed your mind that the universe would try and take the one other thing you truly unconditionally loved away from you.

And you couldn’t risk that.

You couldn’t risk losing Lorna.

She was already hurt because of you. Probably fucking traumatised as well.

More tears fell.

You knew what you had to do and, god, was it going to destroy you.

“Jesus, are you okay?” Lorna said slightly more seriously watching your expression.

“Why are you asking me? You’re the one in the hospital bed” You huffed, a few more tears escaping your eyes, guilt paralysing you.

Lorna studied you for a second as you clutched onto her hand.

Your eyes snatched up to hers. “I thought I lost you, Lorns”

Lorna smiled sadly at your words.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done without you” You admitted.

And it’s true. The only constant you have had through practically your entire life was Lorna. Taking her away would’ve been like stripping a part of yourself away. She made you smile in times you found the hardest, when you could feel yourself drowning under the pressure of the weight of the world she was there to pull you up when no other would, when no other could. She had seen the best and the worst of you and she still stayed by your side. A world without her would be mundane and not worth living.

“But I’m fine” Lorna whispered, placing her other hand on your hand, clutching you in a warm embrace. “I’ll be fine”

You nodded slowly though the lump in your throat did not disappear. “Did they say when they’re letting you out?”

“Well, they want to keep me here overnight just for tonight, something about my lungs and breathing-” She parted her chapped lips trying to think back. “I don’t know I wasn’t really listening but they just want to check for tonight and then tomorrow I’ll be a free woman”

You nodded quietly.

“Guess I won’t be going to any New Years Eve parties though” She snorted. “You’ll have to go for me”

“Absolutely not” You chuckled. “I don’t think I’ll be going to another party ever again after Halloween”

Lorna's eyes fell from yours then her face melting into a more mournful expression. “I never should have left you at that party”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

Lorna looked back up at you, her eyes full with a kind of sincerity you almost never saw from her. “Me and Veronica, we should’ve stayed with you, made sure you were okay and got you home safely” Lorna winced her eyes shut. “God knows what could’ve happened to you”

Your mouth curved into a small smile as you peered down at your friend. “But nothing did happen, that was ages ago and I’m fine”

“Still” She shrugged. “I’m sorry”

More guilt crashed over you. If she knew you were the reason why she was in hospital she wouldn’t be apologising. Surely not, she would’ve casted you out in seconds, promising to never speak to you again and wishing you were the one bruised and battered in the hospital bed instead.

Except she wouldn’t.

Lorna would never.

And that's what made it so much worse.

You gave her another weak smile. “You don’t need to apologise, but I forgive you nonetheless”

Lorna gave you a grateful smile before it curved into a smirk. “Not exactly the best New years then?”

You shrugged, a playful smile on your face. “I don’t know, maybe we’ll get Veronica to sneak you in some champagne”

“Please” Lorna sighed. “I could do with a drink, had a building fall on me and now being unemployed”

You flinched slightly at her words, the lump in your throat only growing. “We’re gonna have to find real jobs now I guess, like actual adults”

Lorna grinned at you. “Like what?”

“Well,” You said contemplatively. “A lawyer, a doctor. I don’t know, something that pays incredibly well”

Lorna nodded before cheekily smirking at you. “I’ve already been offered a job”

“How?” You huffed. “You were unconscious until like twenty minutes ago”

A great big smile landed on her face then. “The company where Veronica works, they need a secretary,” She looked down then smiling softly at the thought of her girlfriend. “She said that after this she’s never letting me out of her sight again so she’s practically begging me to take this job”

You beamed at your friends happiness. “And will you take the job?”

Lorna considered you for a second with a look of disbelief on her face. “I think I might”

You chuckled. “Of course you will, you two are truly going to be connected by the hip now”

Lorna smiled to herself before turning to you. “What about you? What will you do?”

You stared at her like a deer caught in headlights. It was a question that had plagued you for a while now. What would you do after the coffee shop? You had always thought that a job would just pop up, or you would suddenly find something interesting and leave to pursue it. You thought that when the time was right you’d leave by your own accords, when you were ready. Not literally forced into unemployment.

“I don’t know” You smiled weakly, telling the truth.

Lorna sensed your apprehension and nodded slowly. “Something will come along, it always does, you’ll be fine”

You smirked at your friend. “I know I will”

The door to the room opened and Veronica came walking in greeting the both of you, she looked slightly better, slightly less panicked, more like herself.

She crept over the other side of the bed, peering down at Lorna like she was her whole world. She started stroking Lorna’s hair out of her face so delicately like she was scared to hurt her. “They said I can stay the night with you, so you won’t be alone,” Veronica smiled.

“You don’t have to do that, Ronnie,” Lorna said, staring up at her.

“Nonsense” Veronica waved it off. “Besides I won’t be able to sleep unless I’m beside you knowing you’re alright” She admitted.

Lorna took Veronica's hand and kissed it gently, peering up at her.

A soft smile appeared on your face. It was more than comforting to know that no matter what happened Lorna would always have Veronica. And Veronica would always have Lorna.

You cursed yourself as your mind flicked back to Morpheus.

You were going to have to say goodbye to him today.

Your lip trembled at the thought.

Both Lorna and Veronica threw their gaze behind you. And you felt the familiar pricking sensation at the back of your neck as nausea crept up your throat, your legs turning to nothing but jelly.

Speak of the devil.

You knew who was behind you and you knew what he had come to say.

But you didn’t turn around, you wanted to put this off for as long as possible.

Lorna smirked at you. “I think your boyfriends here”

You nodded and bit your lip, your palms feeling sweaty as you shakily stood up. “I’m gonna take a walk but I’ll be back you guys” You smiled weakly at them.

Veronica smiled. “Of course, take as much time as you want”

Swallowing another harsh lump you slowly turned around and met his eyes on the other side of the window. There he stood in the hospital corridor, the dark brooding figure, with a look just as grave as yours staring back at you.

Your eyebrows scrunched up as you fought back the tears. His head jerked to the side, gesturing you to follow him and you slowly, oh so slowly walked to the doors.

When you faced him, you saw the unshed tears in his eyes and your face blanched, mouth having gone dry.

You were not ready. You had only just admitted your love. Did the universe truly leave no time for the two of you to even try and exist?

You followed him into one of the empty hospital rooms, the sterile atmosphere only adding to the dread seeping through your body.

The doors closed with a thud and you flinched ever so slightly as the creeping silence drifted over the two of you, both unwilling and unwanting to speak.

You simply peered at him taking in all his features as you knew this would be the last time. You peered into those starlit eyes that dissolved into a blue so brilliant you might’ve passed out. His messy hair falling onto his forehead ever so slightly as his jaw hardened, the gentle yet harsh curve of his nose. His figure, tall and rigid.

Morpheus knew that you were going to say the exact same thing as he. He could see it in the way your breathing trembled through you, in the way you were desperately clinging onto those tears.

“I, um” You stuttered, your voice no more than a mere whisper. “You know what I’m going to say, don’t you?”

“I do” He quietly responded. “It is the same reason I am here”

You nodded, biting on your lip. How were you supposed to do this?

The only person you had ever loved, and you had to say goodbye.

For forever.

“I am willing to put myself at risk, I do not care what happens to me” You started, deciding to just tell him the utter truth. “But I could never risk her” Your lip trembled. He knew who ‘her’ was.

Morpheus strode closer. “And I would never ask you to, Nor would I allow you to put yourself at risk”

You nodded at his words, swallowing the lump. Both of you grew quiet and you realised this would be the last time you spoke to him, and you would not let unsaid words haunt you for the rest of your life.

“Morpheus, I want to apologise” You announced, stepping closer to him.

His eyebrows furrowed.

“Looking back now, I see it, all the times we shared with one another, all the gifts, every word” You looked up at him rather shyly. “Every touch, all of it. You were telling me all along and yet I was so blinded by my insecurities that like a child, I didn’t hear it”

Morpheus’ lips parted as an unreadable expression grew on his face. You stepped even closer. “And I know I apologised last night, but it’s not enough. Because I was too late”

One hot wet steaming tear fell out of your eye and you rather quickly swiped it away. “Maybe if I had noticed it sooner, if I hadn't have forced you to say the words, this wouldn’t have happened” You shook your head, angered by yourself. “I was so caught up in my own selfish needs I didn’t see what was right in front of me”

You went to fiddle with your finger anxiously as you always did but thought better of yourself, not wanting to shy away from this moment. “And in doing so, I caused all this,” You threw your hands around gesturing to the hospital room. “This is my doing because I didn’t see it”

“And I want you to know that its my fault for not seeing it, not yours” You bit your lip. "And I need you to know that”

You stepped further, peering up into his soft gaze. “Because Morpheus, despite what I know you believe you are simply the most caring and passionate lover”

His eyes flashed with something, as he was rendered silent.

“Like you said, you didn’t have to say the words. It was there in your actions, your gifts, your touch” You peered up at him. “It was everywhere, and you made me feel so cared for, and though I didn’t recognise it you made me feel so loved”

“And you were so good to me” You whispered, and you realised he needed to hear this, the being who had been touch starved for so long, who shied away from others embrace, he needed to hear this. “You are Dream of the Endless and you deserve to love and to be loved”

His eyebrows scrunched up as your kind words hit him like bricks.

Your eyes flickered down to the floor, a few tears delicately escaping down your cheeks. “And I wish it was me, I wish it could be me to fulfil that for you”

Morpheus’ eyes started to burn as he felt his throat start to restrict.

“But I can’t, Morpheus, I am ‘just a mortal’ and I see that now” A sad accepting smile plastered on your face.

“You are ‘just a mortal’, aren’t you?” His lip twitched up into a humourless smirk as he talked slowly. “I see it now”

You were unsure where all this new sense of understanding was coming from, when only last night you were crying at those very words. Maybe it was Lorna's brush with death reminding you of your mortality? Making you look through the lens in a different perspective.

In a matter of hours you had grown up like never before.

“And though I doubt I’ll ever love like this again”

You doubted you’d ever even love again, a part of you most likely always waiting for him to come back to you.

But you wouldn’t tell him that, he didn’t need that burden.

He was immortal, more than that.

Soon you will become a hazy memory, all the time you spent together will be no more than a mere blink of an eye for him. He would love again.

And he would forget you.

More tears fell and the words became harder to say.

“We can’t” You trembled. “We just can’t”

Morpheus was silent for a long time. Taking in your words, he had never felt quite so…understood.

Yes that was the word, he had lived for years beyond human comprehension and met almost every being in existence and yet he finally felt understood.

He felt loved.

So loved.

It was a very alien feeling to him. No one had ever said the exact words he needed to hear, like his soul was open and calling to you, telling you everything he needed to hear.

You understood him better than perhaps anyone had, and now he had to let you go.

Morpheus stepped forward.

“You did not force me to say it” He said softly. “I said it because I needed you to know and I needed to say it, to admit it to even myself”

You smiled gently at his words though the tears didn’t stop.

The two of you stood so close together, taking in one another's presence for the last time. You had to crane your head slightly to peer into his eyes.

“I have never…” The sentence trailed off, he was unable to speak the words. He bit down on his tongue harshly, eyes falling to the floor. “No matter now” He muttered.

“You’re not to blame, the universe would’ve punished us regardless if we had said the words” He affirmed.

You nodded sadly, letting the tears fall.

“Thank you, Morpheus” You whispered “Despite it all I don’t regret ever meeting you”

Morpheus’ eyes became glossy and he swallowed harshly.

“No matter what I have said, I don’t regret a single second of the time we ever shared” You breathed.

He nodded. “As I with you”

His gaze wandered down to your neck. Slowly he grazed his fingertips over the necklace he had gifted you. “For your safety, I will no longer hear should you use the necklace to call me”

You bit back the sob and nodded in understanding.

Morpheus peered down at you, his soft eyes searching your face as he considered all the words he wanted to say. He grabbed both of your hands and intertwined them with his. You shuddered under his touch but it was more than welcome.

“I want you to live your life how you wish” Morpheus' voice lulled in your ear. “To explore the wonders humanity has to offer, I want you to love again”

The words tasted so bitter on his tongue, the thought of you beside anyone else other than him making him nauseous but he rose above it. All he wanted was to see you shine the way you did for him, even if he wasn’t around to see it.

You winced your eyes shut at his words, the pain becoming too much as more tears fell.

“I just have one request,” He said.

You peeled your eyes open and watched his pale blue eyes bore into you. “Stay out of harm's way”

Your eyebrows furrowed for a second as you looked up at him.

His gaze hardened as his eyes glistened under the harsh hospital room lights. “I do not know what I would do if something were to happen to you” He admitted, his voice dangerously quiet.

Your heart melted and a slight sob escaped your lips.

“I want you to swear it” He declared, eyes full with something. “Please”

You bit your lip. “I swear it”

“Will you tell Lucienne and Matthew that I said goodbye and that their friendship has meant more to me then they know” Your lip trembled at the thought of your friends you were never able to say goodbye to.

“Of course,” He answered, the ghost of a smile on his face. “I fear that though Lucienne will never admit it they have both become quite attached to you”

You huffed a laugh as a few tears fell.

Morpheus stared down at you, seriousness back in his tone. “Your dreams shall go back to the way mortals were meant to dream, they way they were before the nightmares”

“I understand” A sad smile graced your face. “Thank you, Dream King, for ever helping me in the first place”

He nodded. “You are quite welcome, little one”

You blushed at the endearment as silence engulfed the room. Your heart, beating at an insane rate. Mouth dry with dread.

“I must leave” His voice, no more than a mere whisper.

“I know”

Slowly he leant down and brushed his lips against yours. You winced your eyes shut again, tasting him for the last time as you both hungrily clashed against one another, drinking in the last touch. He could taste the salty tears on your lips and wanted nothing more than to kiss away every single tear that had ever fallen from your eyes.

Time moved slowly in the moment but not as slow as you had wanted, as you had needed. Eventually you had both slowly pulled away. Your forehead clashed into his as you both stood still in the white room. Eyes closed, hands intertwined, foreheads resting on top of one anothers.

And you had never known the meaning of bittersweet before this, with his presence a soothing calm had always washed over you and it was nonetheless this time, it just wasn’t enough to dull the heartbreak.

“I love you, Morpheus” You whispered against the tears.

“I know” He spoke in that gravelly tortured tone, it was his own way of saying it, he pushed his forehead further against yours, his raven hair tickling against your skin as he winced his eyes. “Goodbye, My rogue dreamer”

“Goodbye, Dream of the endless”

And then you felt his touch slip through your fingers like sand and could no longer feel his hot breath on your skin, no longer feel his soft silk skin against your forehead

You slowly opened your eyes and he was gone.

The hospital room remained painfully quiet as you stared where he had been in front of you only seconds earlier, his presence echoing around you like a ghost.

A crawling sensation drifted back into your heart, something you hadn’t felt in a long time. It clawed at your throat making your eyes water.

Loneliness.

Your lip trembled again and it hit you like a ton of bricks.

You were never going to see him again. He had exited your life just as quickly as he had entered.

Those midnight eyes, his translucent skin, wild raven hair all just a memory now.

You would never be able to hold him again, never able to touch, hear his voice.

A sob ripped through your throat and you covered your hand with your mouth, trying to muffle the crying.

You loved him so fucking much.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and angrily swiped at the hot tears, there was a time and place.

“Not now” You muttered to yourself.

You would have plenty of time to cry later, but Lorna needed you, so you had to be brave.

Morpheus would want you to be brave.

Straightening yourself up and plastering a pitiful smile on you marched out of the room and went back to Lorna’s room.

---------------

The two of them greeted as you walked back in slowly.

“Where’d he go?” Veronica questioned looking behind you with her forehead creased.

You swallowed the pain. “He had to go,” You said. “He wishes you well though” You added looking back at Lorna who surveyed you with a quizzical look.

“Are yo-”

“So what did I miss?” You grinned, cutting Lorna off, choosing to avoid it at all costs and to just be there for her.

Thankfully she didn’t push as the three of you drifted into mindless light-hearted conversation, all of you needing it.

-----------------

Time dwindled on and the dread to go home to your empty apartment for the rest of the night and eventually face your emotions only multiplied throughout the day.

“Please! Go home, we will be fine” Lorna begged after you had asked, ‘Are you sure?’ For the fiftieth time.

Veronica placed a soothing hand on your shoulder. “Its ok, we are fine, go home and make most of the rest of the night left before the new year”

You smiled weakly at them, momentarily forgetting the night's traditions. “Ok, fine but please keep in touch and if you need anything call me, even if it's in the middle of the night” You stammered.

The two giggled before waving goodbye. Reluctantly you left the hospital, the sensations from before coming back tenfold. More loneliness.

You took a long shaky breath, as you exited the doors. The cold December air hitting you almost knocks your breath out under the gruelling pressure. It was late and in a mere couple of hours the year would have drawn to a final close and the You cast your gaze up into the sky only for the stars to be twinkling above you, a silent hello. The lump in the back of your throat became extremely large and unavoidable. Your eyes glistening under the moonlight.

All you had ever had was the stars.

And now even they reminded you of him.

You ripped your gaze from the sky and stumbled to the nearby bus stop. Arms wrapped around yourself, protecting you from the cold that gripped at your skin.

----------------

Home had never felt quite so uncomforting before. The door slammed shut and you slowly meandered through the halls. Slowly you switched on the lights, finding yourself in the bathroom. Hesitantly you made your way to the sink, gripping with white knuckles before you looked up at your reflection.

You were still wearing his coat and the necklace. Your hand ghosted over the sigil of his helm hanging from the silver chain as your lip trembled.

At least Lorna was safe.

That was the mantra you repeated to yourself.

And it was the mantra you would keep repeating to yourself, no matter how hard it got.

You brought the coat up to your face, testing to see if it had retained some of him.

A rush of sandalwood and fresh air like the winter night hit you, and your eyes watered. After all this time it still remained his scent. Delicately you reluctantly removed the coat from your body, not wanting it to find anymore than it already had.

Morpheus was gone, all traces aside from the gifts completely eradicated. He would no longer be there to seduce you into a deep slumber, you would no longer feel his touch, the skin like soft silk against your touch, his deep yet gentle voice purring in your ear.

Never lightly bantering with Lucienne, Matthew and Merv in the library again. No more stolen glances and feathering kisses. No more stargazing and watching the dreaming.

You would never see his starlit eyes again. Never to see those twitches of his lips again. Never to hear him speak about his countless aeons and aeons of stories.

No more Morpheus.

The lump at the back of your throat only grew and grew but you casted it out. Splashing cold water on your face.

Morpheus wouldn’t have wanted you to be sad.

You drifted to your room, throwing his coat onto your bed as you took your shoes off. Upon your bed laid Matthew 2.0 and your lip trembled again at the thought of Matthew. A soft thudding hitting against the windows drew your attention from the bed, you peered into the dark reflection to see highlighted raindrops softly falling. Your gaze moved to something tucked away in the corner, you furrowed your eyebrows upon realisation.

It was the Christmas present Lorna had gifted you, that you never opened. Setting aside your emotions you grabbed it as you sat upon the bed regarding the box with curiosity. You grabbed the tag on the bright red wrapping paper. It read.

Thought a special someone might enjoy this ;)

Merry Christmas

- Love Lorna

With a creased forehead you tore into the paper to find a rather flat cardboard box, grabbing the lid you opened it, setting it aside the card written for you with Lorna’s handwriting on it before your eyes landed on the gift.

Your mouth hung open in shock. As you slowly lifted the thin material up.

It was a lingerie set.

A lace black lingerie set.

You regarded the material with your mouth parted. It was beautiful, actually. Proper lingerie, not the cheap stuff. Slowly setting it down you picked up the card on top.

Thought you would need something that matched with your boyfriends gothic fashion. You can thank me later.

You let a chuckle escape you then, of course Lorna would have done something like this, what else had you expected? You licked your lips, would Morpheus have liked something like this?

There would of course only have been one way to find out.

Only it was too late now.

You bit back the tears, you were not about to cry over lingerie, tucking the box away under your bed.

The sound of the rain filled the painfully empty apartment as you travelled to the kitchen, deciding it was way more than past dinner time and you needed to eat.

Morpheus would have wanted you to look after yourself.

Switching the TV on so you could listen to the New Year's eve countdown while cooking. And what a year it had been, if you had told January you where you would be now? Well maybe you would have given up right then and there. You opened the fridge and grabbed some vegetables, deciding to throw them in with some pasta. You grabbed a tomato and started slicing it. The sounds of the knife hitting the chopping board echoing against the desolate air.

Your mind cruelly betrayed you as memories of him played in your head.

A new sense of dread collapsed onto you and you clambered to your feet. As your heartbeat echoed in your ears. “Who are you?” You stuttered shielding yourself by crossing your arms over your chest as if they would protect you from whomever was in front of you.

“Who am I?” The deep voice practically purred as he stood up and started descending down the steps. “I am Dream of the Endless and you requested an audience with me, so you shall state your matters at once” He said coldly as his eyes studied you.

The chopping sped up.

You looked back up to Dream noticing his silence, and he looked back into your red rimmed eyes as he slowly and carefully leant down in front of you. You turned away still trying to slow the crying down before you felt the soft brush of Dreams thumb on your cheek drying your tears. Looking back in confusion as his thumb, still on your cheek, swiped over your soft skin ever so slightly, you looked into his eyes. They were soft and all the more piercing, earlier cruelty nowhere to be found.

The proximity between the two of you was still overpowering but yet you had felt the most calm, the most safe you had been in an excruciatingly long time.

You didn’t feel so alone.

You bit your lip, furiously slamming the knife further down into the vegetable.

“Morpheus”

Your forehead creased in confusion.

“Call me Morpheus” He rasped.

Your heart leapt in your chest and you brushed your nose with his. “Morphe-”

You were cut off by Morpheus gently brushing his lips against yours and you instantly melted under the touch. His hand slid around your lower back, pulling you into him. You began to lose yourself in his hold as your hand crept up behind his head, fingers tousling his messy raven hair. Your lips parted slightly against his as his tongue slipped into your mouth and you feverishly whimpered at the all too welcome feeling.

You threw another tomato onto the chopping board, whacking it a ridiculous amount.

The already thick atmosphere tripled by tenfold as the air cracked under the pressure as you held in your breaths. His expression became apprehensive, nervous almost as he looked up at you through his lashes, his face etched in a new kind of vulnerability you had never seen from him before.

“I’ve fallen in love with you”

A tear escaped your eye as your breath hitched, your head suddenly becoming fuzzy. Your gaze softened and you felt a warmth spread through your body.

Your wrist started to ache as the ripples of pressure from the knife hitting the wooden chopping board started to burn through you, but you did not stop. The booming, hitting your ears making you flinch.

“I love you, Morpheus” You whispered against the tears.

“I know” He spoke in that gravelly tortured tone, it was his own way of saying it, he pushed his forehead further against yours, his raven hair tickling against your skin as he winced his eyes. “Goodbye, My rogue dreamer”

“Goodbye, Dream of the endless”

And then you felt his touch slip through your fingers like sand and could no longer feel his hot breath on your skin, no longer feel his soft silk skin against your forehead

You slowly opened your eyes and he was gone.

The knife clattered out of your hand, the piercing and blaring sound of it hitting your kitchen counter echoing around the walls but you did not care. You winced your eyes shut as the sobs started to escape your lips.

You wanted so badly to continue with life the way you had.

But how could you?

How could you just move on from a love like that?

With the most beautiful lover?

You couldn’t.

And you wouldn’t.

Not for a long time at least.

You fell back against the kitchen counter with a defeated whimper. Pain clawing through your heart and your soul.

Oh what you would’ve given for him to swoop into your apartment now and whisk you away to the dreaming.

But you couldn’t.

Couldn’t risk Lorna or anyone else you had cared for in your life.

You just couldn’t.

The TV started counting down and you looked up with glassy eyes realising the time.

"3,2,1 and…Happy New Years!"

You stood silently staring at the TV. This wasn’t exactly how you had planned to bring in the new year. You cast your blurred gaze back to the tomatoes you rather violently destroyed before sighing and throwing them into the pot of pasta cooking on the stove. Wiping at the tears though you knew they would undoubtedly continue you meandered over to the window, from here you could see a few fireworks going off.

Taking a shuddering breath you allowed yourself a moment, staring into the sky, it wasn’t exactly the view from the dreaming. But it mattered not, it was all you had now. Morpheus was gone and now you had to move on, without him.

The reflections of the bright fireworks glistened in your eyes, at least you would remember him.

And no one could take that away from you.

--------------

As soon as he arrived in the dreaming it clouded over, rain pouring down on the inhabitants of his kingdom. Lucienne and Matthew knew right away what it had meant as he strode past them, with a look so devastatingly defeated they shared a knowing glance. The king murmured something about throne room and not be disturbed unless necessary, leaving the two to only theorise on what had happened.

They had put one and one together when you didn’t arrive in the dreaming that night, disappointment clawing at the both of them, only hoping this wouldn’t last.

Morpheus didn’t go to his throne room.

Instead he found himself by a lake, underneath the stars, rain only softly hitting him, dampening his hair as he stood silently his jaw tensed.

He had a duty to carry out, and he would, he always would. But for tonight?

Tonight he would simply let himself be.

Letting the King of Dreams wish that he could, like the guests in his kingdom, dream. So at least maybe then he could dream of you.

[darkhangels]

16. all I ever wanted, all I ever needed

enjoy the silence masterlist

morpheus x f!reader

warnings: smut, minors DNI, p in v, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving)

Five days later you woke up to one or two missed calls from Lorna. Not thinking too much of it you grinned as you remembered the previous nights before and your heart fluttered in pure happiness as you stretched against your soft bed sheets. Christmas may just be your new favourite holiday if they were all like they had been over the last couple of days.

Your heart ached and throbbed as you smiled like a madman into the pillows thinking of your nights underneath the stars.

He had gifted you a whole part of the dreaming, his realm, his very livelihood, his own reason for existing. His gift was the single most romantic gesture he had ever done for you. It was the most romantic gesture anyone had ever done for you.

So why did a feeling of dread crawl up your spine, making your smile fade almost instantly.

Guilt gripped at your throat, despite all he had done for you, you were torn up inside because you knew deep down that he did not care for you the way you cared for him.

Cared? You didn’t just care for him anymore.

Your Mum had told you on Christmas Eve what it was but you angrily pushed the thoughts out of your head.

But you couldn’t hide it anymore, especially after last night.

You loved him.

And the realisation came crashing down on you like a ton of bricks.

And what was worse is you knew you did. You knew you did when you saw him at the wedding, when the two of you danced in your dream. Because of course you did. How could you not?

You loved Morpheus.

And no matter how much you tried to repress it, and condemn yourself for your emotions, they would not fade.

You promised yourself you wouldn’t have fallen in love after he had told you how forbidden it was.

But you had. You had been so foolish, thought with your heart not your head.

And he was making it worse every time you saw him.

A slight jab of anger stabbed you then, he had told you it was forbidden and yet made you fall in love with him knowing he didn’t love you back and knowing that even if he had it would have been cursed.

Your phone rang again ripping you out of your thoughts and you answered with a slight monotone voice. “Oh good, you’re finally awake” Lorna’s voice echoed through the phone.

“Yeah sorry, weekend lay in and all that'' You weakly laughed through the phone.

“So you weren’t woken up last night?” Lorna asked, curiosity threaded through her voice.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “No, why would I have been?”

“The tremors” Lorna started, “Me and Veronica were woken up at like one in the morning by them, a bunch of us were”

Your forehead creased in confusion as you sat up in bed. “Tremors, what tremors?”

There was a pause. “Have you looked at the news, your social media, anything this morning?”

“No, I literally just woke up” You licked your lips, a gut feeling that something was wrong. “Lorna what’s going on?”

“Oh, Ok wow, we had a mini earthquake”

Your eyes almost bulged out of your skull. “Earthquake?”

“Yeah” Lorna laughed. “Our town is on the news and everything, it was only a level 3 so no one was hurt or anything but how freaky is that?”

Your breathing started to get heavier and heavier. “Super freaky considering we don’t get earthquakes in this country” You murmured.

“Yeah I know and get this they have all the experts out and about trying to measure whatever the hell it was and they’re saying how weird and random it was”

“That is weird” You breathed.

“Listen, I’ve got to go, but I’ll talk later” She continued.

“Yeah ok, see you later” You absentmindedly said before hanging up.

You put your phone down as your eyebrows scrunched up, deep in thought as your stomach started to churn and do flips. A terrible feeling, sinking through your bones.

You were just overthinking and being anxious in no way has this got anything to do with you, the world was just…weird sometimes. Still you anxiously bit at your lip before deciding to get in the shower and wash off your anxious thoughts.

The day turned into a quiet mournful one as you sat silently mulling over your thoughts, hands picking at the skin on your lips.

So you could finally admit that you love him.

Where did you go from there?

There was no way in hell you would simply be able to go back to the way you were. Even thinking of his name made you feel sick with pure yearning and heartthrob. You couldn’t bear to look at him, be with him, even know him, knowing that you loved him. And he did not reciprocate.

Your options were: Firstly, break up with him (you were avoiding this one at all costs). Secondly, you tell him how you felt and the rest was up to him and fate. And finally, you say nothing and let it slowly consume you like a virus.

As far as options went they weren’t exactly what you had hoped for.

With a sigh you placed your heavy head in your hands. “Fuck” You whispered to yourself, as a tear fell down your cheek.

God you loved him. So much so it hurt.

Why had no one warned you of this? Told you how much love hurts?

Though you supposed not a lot of people had fallen in love with Dream of the Endless. That was a cross you had to bear by yourself.

The silence of your apartment crept by as the hours slowly, slowly dwindled and you had spent the entire day inside your own head. Overthinking yourself into a depressive state.

Before slowly and slowly you fell asleep.

---------------------

When you arrived in the dreaming you were informed that Morpheus was busy and would most likely not show for a while so you made your way back to the lake as you did every night.

Despite the rest of the dreaming being engulfed in the bright blue sky as soon as you stepped onto the hill, the sky slowly melted into an inky black as the stars shone and hung far in the sky. Eternally night.

It would never cease to amaze you, the view from up here. It's how you knew that the dreaming was in fact real and that you weren’t just going literally insane, because your mind could never be able to create such a beautiful and detailed image.

And though you had gotten used to the dreaming you couldn’t help but admire it at any chance you could. And it was all his.

He melded it all with his own hands, his own magic and his own mind.

You took your seat next to the lake and stared into the deep water, your mind couldn’t help but wander back into the mess that was your thoughts.

A mere three months ago you were plagued with nightmares every single night. You were tired, defeated and depressed. It all felt like a lifetime ago now. When you had so recklessly meddled in affairs that were not yours to know of, nor interfere. When you had expected nothing to happen when you called his name for the first time.

And now you were in love with the King of Dreams and nightmares, spending every night in his realm, in his bed.

It was all incredibly ironic.

And though you were incredibly happy (despite what your overthinking liked to tell you) you couldn’t help but hear the ticking of the doomsday clock.

How much longer would Morpheus keep you around before he became bored?

Matthew had filled you in on his previous lovers. Muses, witches and goddesses.

And what were you? A mortal.

Nothing special, just a plain old mortal.

And he would see that soon enough, will grow tired of you and would no longer want your body.

A treacherous tear fell down your cheek and you wiped angrily at it.

Unrequited love.

What a fucking joke.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up and you realised you were being watched. You wiped at the tears again and did your best to cover it up with a smile.

Slowly he came and sat beside you. “Enjoying your gift, I see”

You looked at him quickly avoiding eye contact, afraid he would see your tears before smiling. “How could I not when it’s so beautiful”

You looked down back at the water. “Thank you” It had to have been the 500th time you had thanked him at this point.

His lip twitched up ever so slightly as he turned to you. “You need not keep thanking me, it was a gift”

You smiled softly still looking at the water, too anxious to turn to him. “I’m just very thankful”

Morpheus' lips fell as he watched your expression, your unwillingness to look at him. He knew something was wrong. “Is something on your mind?” He asked slowly.

Damn. How did he always see right through you?

You turned to him quickly, still plastering that smile and not quite meeting his eyes. “Of course not, I’m fine”

Morpheus studied your expression anxiously.

“Do not lie to me” He said softly.

You gulped and looked down anxiously picking at the skin around your fingernails. A silent tear falling down your cheek yet again, unable to hide your emotions under his intense gaze. “Are you growing tired of me?” You quietly whispered.

Morpheus eyes’ widened ever so slightly at the question. Where was this coming from? He remained painfully silent.

“Because if you are, I’d rather you do it now” You sniffed ever so slightly. “Just rip off the Band-Aid before it gets worse”

Morpheus’ eyebrows furrowed. “I do not understand, before what gets worse?”

You remained quiet still swallowing the big fat lump in your throat despite the small tears falling from your eyes.

“Look at me,” Morpheus gently whispered.

And you shuddered at his soft voice, shaking your head refusing and unable to look into the eyes of the man you had so stupidly fallen in love with.

He took your chin softly in his thumb and index finger, turning you towards him and you reluctantly met his eyes and he almost recoiled at the sight of the tear streaks on your face. “What is it?” He asked again the soft expression in his eyes making your heart ache and throb.

You winced your eyes shut, unable to look at him any longer. “I just can’t help but wonder, if you are starting to grow tired of me?”

Morpheus’ lips parted in confusion. “Tired of you?” He repeated.

Your lip trembled. “Yeah well you know. I know you’ve had ‘affairs’ with Goddesses and Witches, creatures beyond my comprehension” You swallowed harshly. “And yet I am just a mortal, nothing more” You looked back up to him. “So I can’t help but wonder if you are starting to grow tired or bored of me yet”

He flinched at your words, his hand leaving your chin slowly. “Have I not given you enough to show my compassion for you?” He asked coldly, standing up and looking down at you.

Your eyes snatched up to him as they widened in shock at his cold tone, you climbed to your feet, standing up and grabbing his hands. “No that’s not what I meant”

He pulled his hands away from your grasp. “I’m quite sure I know what you meant”

Another tear fell from your eyes, and you took a breath. It was time to make your choice, what you were going to say to him. Whether you would end it now, protecting yourself from more heartbreak despite knowing it was too late, would you tell him your feelings? Or perhaps simply ignore them and derail the conversation now. “Morpheus, please, you have given me so much and yet-”

“Yet, its not enough?” He growled. “I have gifted you a part of my realm, shaped in the image of you, for you. I give you my time despite having an entire realm to rule and watch over and it is still not enough for you?” His voice became dangerously low as his jaw tightened in anger.

You felt like he had stabbed you in the ribs, his words making you feel like you were just a burden to him. “What? No! Morpheus that’s not what I said you’re twisting my words” You shouted in disbelief.

He had a habit for that. In the very few fleeting arguments you had with him he almost never actually listened, instead drawing conclusions off of your own words and passing it off as facts. It irritated you to no end.

Morpheus ignored your words and only continued to glare at you with an Icey horrifying disdain in his dark eyes. “And as for my ‘affairs’, I choose with whom I wish to court. I owe you no explanation for that”

Your forehead creased as your mouth hung open, his words stabbing deep. “I never said you owed me an explanation. What I was trying to say was though you give me so much there is only one thing I want from you and you can’t give it to me” Your lip trembled and more tears started to fall from your eyes and you realised that it had started to rain, big fat drops of water hitting your head. You looked up at the sky briefly as it occurred to you that it had never once rained in the dreaming while you had been here before.

“And what’s that?” Morpheus slowly spoke, so low and so tauntingly. “Power, perhaps? I wouldn’t put it past you, you are ‘just a mortal’ after all” He said wickedly, using your words from earlier.

A humourless huff came from your mouth as your eyebrows scrunched up in horror at his words, you fought the urge to collapse into sobs, and instead stood your ground. “Not power, we are not all Roderick Burgess despite what you may like to think” You growled at him, the rain starting to come down harder on the both of you, dark clouds shrouding the starry night sky.

He flinched when you said his name. He had spoken about his confinement briefly with you as he would try to avoid the topic at all costs and yet here you were throwing it right back in his face. He recoiled slightly, his eyes widening in disgust. “You are ‘just a mortal’, aren’t you?” His lip twitched up into a humourless smirk as he talked slowly. “I see it now”

You shook your head in disbelief. How could he be so cruel? “Fuck you” You spat at him, your voice full of malice.

“Then what, rogue dreamer?” He snarled, his cool tone slowly dissipating as he started to step closer to you, the use of the endearment making you flinch in his resentful tone. “What is the one thing you want from me? Even after I have given you so much, more than any other mortal could dream of”

He continued to stalk forwards until he was right in front of you, your heaving chest mere inches away from his. “What more could you possibly want from me?” He growled.

You swallowed and nodded slowly as tears cascaded down your cheeks, your heart rapidly beating, the rain starting to make you shiver though you couldn’t have cared less if you had tried.

“Hm?” He hummed mockingly in response to your silence.

“God knows I promised myself I wouldn’t but I did” You cursed yourself as you looked down at the wet grass.

Choice two it was then.

Morpheus’ eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

You bit your lip looking up at him. “All I want, Morpheus” You took one last shaky breath. “Is your love”

Morpheus flinched at your words as a bolt of lightning so strong jolted through the air of the dreaming, a loud thunder clap soon following behind. Though neither of you were fazed as you stared at each other as the aftermath of your words racketed through the both of you.

“I tried so hard not to fall but I did, I said I wouldn’t but I have” Your voice was a high whisper as it threatened to break from a sob at any second. “And you made it so much harder not to”

You looked up at him. “Because you gave me everything, and I’m not just talking about gifts. I’m talking about you”

Morpheus’ gaze had gone past the point of softness as he stared at you, his eyes becoming glassy, no words able to form in his mouth.

“You make me feel like the best version of myself” You whispered as you licked your lips. “And no one has ever done that for me”

You shook your head as your voice started to waver. “And to be honest I hate you for it”

Morpheus slowly blinked, his eyes burning as his Adam apple bobbed up and down.

“Because I know you don’t feel the same way” Your mouth became dry and you knew you weren’t thinking straight but the burning inside you simply begged to be let out.

“And though I desperately wish I hated you, I don’t” You swallowed. “I can’t”

You looked up at him, his eyes burning like stars only for a second before returning to their usual shade, the rain started to dampen his hair as it clung to his forehead and you cursed yourself for feeling so weak in the knees at how ethereal he was even in a moment such as this.

Your eyes met and it was like seeing him for the first time all over again.

Your head snapped up to the quiet yet commanding voice. In front of you laid a narrow throne perched on top of a plethora of steps fit to make any monarch of the waking world jealous. On top of the throne sat a man.

No. He was not a man and describing him as such would do an injustice to the being before you.

He wore a long black coat, long enough to be a cloak, with matching black shirt and trousers all which draped around his thin yet tall build and clashed against his white silk skin. His midnight hair messily framed his forehead in an elegant way. His face was nothing short of art, so beautiful and yet so alien with a crushingly sharp jawline and matching cheekbones.

And his eyes?

God, his eyes. Two twin stars shimmering at you, slowly dissolving into a pale iced blue the longer you stared into them.

The memory seized at your heart. How far you have come since then. How hard you had fallen for him.

You bit on your cheek, more tears escaping as you let out a shuddering breath. “I can’t hate you” You stepped closer then, the proximity between the two of you feeling just like a dream three moons ago.

You glared up at him heavily breathing as you clenched your fists at your side. Why did he have to be so beautiful?

You searched his eyes, silently challenging him, but his stare was overwhelming and made you feel so small. The atmosphere around you cracked and bent under the excruciating pressure of the two of you's proximity. Your mouth dried and heartbeat hammered in your chest as your eyes betrayed you as you looked down to his lips only for a fraction of a second. The man clenched his jaw as he watched you and you could have swore his lip upturned only for a second.

You peered deep into his eyes as they shone against the stars as he regarded you with an almost scared look. His mouth hung agape only a bit as he was completely entranced by your words. Your eyes searched his, and with one faltering breath the words fell off of your lips.

“Because I love you”

Morpheus’ face paled.

Paralyzed by your words as he watched your face, finding nothing but sincerity. And he held his breath, feeling a ripple of so many emotions at once go through him.

“And sometimes I wish I had just never met you” You confessed looking into his burning eyes, Morpheus wanted to flinch but could still not say a thing, still not move.

Neither of you had noticed that the rain had stopped.

“Because then I wouldn’t have to carry around this burden, this thing that feels like a fucking disease” You gritted through the tears, your voice breaking, making Morpheus flinch ever so slightly.

Your voice wavered again, making your tone quieter. “I know you don’t love me, Morpheus” You whispered. “And even if you did, I know we couldn’t” Your eyes cast back down to the ground as silence filled the air around you suffocating the both of you.

And he just stood there, saying nothing. Standing as still as a fucking statue. In fairness to him you were unsure of what he could have said to you to make you feel better.

It was a helpless and hopeless situation for the both of you.

Stumbling back slightly and recomposing yourself with a couple of heavy breaths you glared back up at him. “So there, that is what I wanted to say to you, you asshole” You hissed angrily before waking yourself up, drifting from his realm and leaving the Dream King alone and paralyzed.

-------------------------

You woke up with a jolt, sticky tears clinging to your face as you grabbed your bedside lamp switch, illuminating your otherwise dark room. You sat up and pulled your knees to your chest before a sob ripped through your throat, his words haunting you like a vengeful song.

‘You are just another mortal, aren’t you?’

Another sob and tears started to fall.

You were mad, beyond mad, you were fucking livid.

You were pissed at Morpheus. How he had turned your words into something else entirely and thrown wicked words into your face with not so much of a second thought. You loathed him for the fact that he could not love you.

You were angry with the universe. For making this even harder than it already was. For not even allowing the two of you to have so much of a chance at love.

But worst of all you resented yourself. You resented yourself for getting yourself into all of this in the first place, for ever calling upon him. For falling in love with the fucking Sandman.

You wanted to blame Morpheus so badly.

And yet you knew that ultimately this was your doing.

It was all your fault.

With no one to blame but yourself.

The tears wouldn’t stop and you couldn’t remember the last time you had cried like this.

You felt the familiar creeping on the back of your neck and you didn’t need to look up to see who it was.

“Get out” You spoke quietly but loud enough for him to hear you.

Morpheus stood opposite your bed, staring at you with an apprehensive expression on his face. His jaw hardened at the sight of you, his gaze softening as tears of his own stung his eyeballs.

He had been wrong.

He knew that. He had been cruel to have said what he did, if he could take it back he would do it in the blink of an eye.

You felt his eyes on you still and you sniffed slightly. “Morpheus, I’m not kidding”

He remained as still and silent as ever.

Reluctantly your eyes snatched up to his. “Please, just leave” You whispered, afraid your voice would give in under the pressure of the saw lump at the back of your neck.

Morpheus swallowed harshly at the sight of your red rimmed eyes and his heart tugged as a wave of guilt crashed into him, this was his doing. All he had ever wanted was to protect you, keep you safe and happy. And yet the thing that hurt you the most was him.

He should’ve known better. As passionate as he was he knew he wasn’t ever good at showing it. His previous lovers could’ve told you that.

He thought maybe with his gifts, his actions you would’ve maybe gotten the message without the words necessarily having left his mouth.

Or maybe he had hoped if he didn’t say the words it wouldn’t have been true. That maybe his mind had just made it up and it was all in his head.

Maybe all along he had simply been protecting himself.

Morpheus blinked slowly considering his actions carefully, not wanting to upset you anymore than he already had.

He started to slowly creep round the side of your bed and you felt the bed dip with his weight but you still refused to speak to him, say any words.

What could you have said?

You had said everything you had wanted or needed to say.

The silence of the room was interrupted by your soft crying, muffled as you clutched your head to your knees. And you almost wished that you were dreaming. That this was just some nightmare. Though you supposed with Morpheus it didn’t really make a difference did it?

You could feel his gaze boring into you as you tried to muffle your crying. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing this, seeing you completely beside yourself because of him. Because of what he had done to you, because of the words he said. And because you were in love with him.

Morpheus had never felt so helpless before, unsure of what to do.

Well, that wasn’t quite true.

He knew what he had to say. It was just saying it that he struggled with.

Slowly you felt his fingertips swoop a messy piece of hair behind your ear and you flinched at his touch. Unwanting him near you, you could barely stand the sight of him let alone feel his oh so gentle touch against you.

Your heart couldn’t take much more from him.

Morpheus recoiled his hand at the sight of your flinching and his jaw tightened, blinking slowly. He cast his gaze down to his hand he had pulled away from you as he flexed it ever so slightly. You left him no choice.

You had unknowingly cornered him into admitting that of which he had not even admitted to himself yet, he licked his lips cautiously, looking back up at your figure, still not looking up at him. The soft echoes of your cries made his heart drop and his eyes burnt with unshed tears.

What was worse however was your complete unwillingness to look at him. You had robbed him of even that. Your eyes, your face. You.

He felt shunned and rejected.

You felt shunned and rejected. Humiliated and embarrassed almost. You loved him. But he didn’t love you back and now he was watching you break down. He remained silent and you wondered if he felt just as helpless as you did. The both of you were unsure of what to do as you could not stop the fat tears falling from your eyes, dampening your cheeks and wetting your knees.

Last night the two of you had been underneath the stars in one another's arms and you had not a single complaint, your happiness infecting Morpheus as he smiled up at the soft sapphires and amethysts that danced in the inky sky of the dreaming.

And now you were crying like a child with him beside you saying nothing.

How had you gotten here in a matter of hours?

Morpheus let out a long breath through his nose, knowing what he had to do.

“Will you look at me?” He quietly asked.

You ignored his words. A silent no.

“Please, look at me,” He repeated.

You lifted your head up from your knees ever so slightly, not enough to meet his eyes but enough so your words wouldn't be mumbles. “Why? So you can insult me more? Remind me of how I am ‘just a mortal’ again?”

Morpheus' eyes winced shut. “I was wrong to have said that” He muttered quietly.

You looked up a bit so you could measure his reaction, still glaring at him, unwilling to let him off the hook so easily. Making sure to put your walls up, staying silent.

He looked back at you with a shuddering breath leaving him as he met your eyes. “I apologise”

You nodded slowly, unsure if you would accept it or not. Morpheus’ shoulders tensed when he realised that you were still remaining silent, not giving him anything. He swallowed his pride. “I apologise for saying the words that have hurt you”

You looked up again. “Do you understand why I’m upset?”

He peered deeply into your eyes though he remained silent.

You took a breath. “Because you always just jump to conclusions or twist my words”

His gaze hardened slightly and you almost expected him to start arguing again, before he slowly blinked, taking a second and nodding towards you, urging you to continue.

You sighed. “You always assume the worst in me, and I don’t know what I did to make you do that” Another tear rolled down your cheek.

He was quick to respond this time. “You have done nothing”

“Then why?” Your eyes pleaded as your eyebrows scrunched up.

Morpheus looked down and swallowed. God how he hated this, How he wished you would just understand without him having to say it all out loud. Without him having to be vulnerable.

But looking at you now. With your tear stricken face and your melancholy eyes he knew that it was worth it. It was worth the uncomfortableness of it all.

“I assume the worst because I’d like to believe that you are that person”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I like to believe that you are power hungry, selfish and callous” He continued, “I like to believe you are the very worst of humanity, though I know that’s not who you are, not in the slightest”

You remained silent, your lips parting in confusion.

He looked down, unable to meet your eyes as his eyes burned. “I try to believe it because it makes it easier”

“Makes what easier, Morpheus?”

His jaw tensed as he was still unable to look into your eyes.

“Morpheus?” You repeated softly, the light reflecting the tears in his eyes.

He took a breath before looking up at you. “You have completely entranced me”

You swallowed, your mouth suddenly becoming dry.

“You made your place in my realm, in my heart, so effortlessly, My rogue dreamer”

Your heart sped up.

“So much so I feared for myself, for my sanity” His eyes bore into you as you listened to his every word, staring back into the depths of his soul.

“I thought with my gifts and my touch that I could tell you what I needed to say without the words having to leave my lips”

Both of your hearts were beating at a ridiculous rate.

You hadn’t even noticed that you had inched closer to him.

His lip twitched up for a second. “Evidently, I was wrong”

The already thick atmosphere tripled by tenfold as the air cracked under the pressure as you held in your breaths. His expression became apprehensive, nervous almost as he looked up at you through his lashes, his face etched in a new kind of vulnerability you had never seen from him before.

“I’ve fallen in love with you”

A tear escaped your eye as your breath hitched, your head suddenly becoming fuzzy. Your gaze softened and you felt a warmth spread through your body.

You blinked slowly, only one word coming to mind. “Why?” you breathed.

Morpheus’ forehead creased. “Why?” He repeated. “Because I believe you complete me like no other has before”

You flushed under his words, hearing your heartbeat thud in your ears.

“You said it was forbidden?” You breathed in disbelief.

“It is” He responded softly with a sombreness in his eyes.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Then how-” The rest of your sentence trailed off but Morpheus knew what you were asking.

How come you were perfectly fine and safe if the two of you were in love?

Morpheus shook his head slowly. “I confess I do not know”

You stared at him.

You had believed this was unrequited.

And how wrong you had been.

His fingers found your hand slowly bringing it up to his lips. Your breath became louder under the gentle brush of his lips against your soft skin. “Forgive me” He said slowly, ducking his head and casting his eyes down. “For hurting you and making you believe I did not reciprocate”

You considered him, watched the sorrowful expression on his face and you let out a small breath.

He had hurt you but what was love without forgiveness?

Your other hand slowly drifted to Morpheus’ cheek, lifting his face up so his eyes would meet yours. You gave him a small soft smile before leaning forward and brushing your lips against his.

You could feel him untense as he relaxed into the kiss, his arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you onto his lap.

The two of you pulled apart and his thumb delicately stroked away the tears that were on your cheek.

“To answer your question,” He mumbled dangerously quietly. “No I have not grown tired of you, and I don’t believe I ever will”

His reassuring words lifted a weight off of your shoulders and you let out a small breath as you slowly nodded, looking down then, a wave of guilt crashing over you. “I’m sorry, for being needy” You started to anxiously pick at the skin around your fingers again. “It’s so easy to just get lost in my thoughts sometimes and it's hard to figure out what is real and what is my mind just being cruel”

Morpheus looked down at you softly, you still on his lap as he slowly nodded, accepting your apology. Slowly his fingers engulfed yours, pulling them away from doing anymore damage with your nails before bringing them up to his mouth and gently kissing them, you let out a shuddering breath under his gentle touch. “You are human, it is only natural, I should’ve made my love more apparent”

A warm blush spread across your face as a smile slowly appeared when he said the word ‘love’ again.

The King of Dreams had fallen in love with you.

And suddenly you were overcome with bliss. “So, you love me?”

Morpheus’ eyes shone as he peered deeply at you, pure passion jolting behind his eyes. “I do” He affirmed.

You grinned, unable to contain your excitement as you looked down again.

Morpheus watched your expression, feeling his own heart melt into a kind of warmth he hadn’t felt in years. And oh my, did he love you.

He could quite easily spend an eternity right here. With you in his arms forever.

In fact he was unsure if he could ever leave your side again, too frightful that you would come to harm and he would lose you.

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear and this time you didn’t recoil. He muttered your name, calling your attention as you looked up at him again.

“I love you”

The words had never quite come easy to him, nor did any words pertaining to his emotions quite frankly.

But with you?

It's almost like now that the dam had been opened he was unsure he would ever stop telling you, not when he saw the way you blushed and grinned everytime the words left his lips. And for you he would bear through any uncomfortableness, any pain. Just to see you happy.

Your eyes watered again and you wondered when had you ever become so emotional at three words before.

But they weren’t just words.

Not to you.

And not to him.

You collided your lips against his, knowing not what else to do with all the emotions you felt for him.

Passionately he leant into the kiss, matching your want. Your need.

You suddenly started to feel a tight coil in your lower stomach as the kiss deepened, tongues and teeth clashing. The kind of kiss, so rare, that seemingly tells both of you every unsaid word without anything being vocalised.

The atmosphere changed into a desperate need almost instantly.

Your legs parted as you moved to straddle him. He bundled your hair into his hand softly, gently tugging you into him as his other hand roamed down your back landing on your lower back, pulling you even further in. One of your hands travelled up his shirt feeling his soft muscles.

Swiftly getting the message he pulled away from you to shrug his coat off and quickly pull his shirt over his head. You admired his pale figure only for a second before you were back on him in the blink of an eye, your mouths colliding yet again with a new kind of hunger neither of you had ever tasted before.

His hand travelled from your lower back, slowly snaking up your thin sleeping shirt, his large hand roaming your stomach before finding his target. You mewled as you threw your head back, removing yourself from the kiss, as his thumb swiped against your nipple so slowly. He looked at you with his hazy eyes and you felt your head start to spin with anticipation. His lips found your jaw, and travelled to your ear lobe, his teeth nibbling as he sucked at every bit of skin he could before he stopped at the collar of your shirt.

With an annoyed grunt he reached for the hem of the material and you threw your arms up as he guided it over your head. Leaving you topless and bare for him. His eyes travelled down your chest and his gaze darkened before he slowly dipped his head down, his mouth flying to your nipple sucking as electric shocks flew through you, kneading your other breast with his hands.

You threw your head back again as your hands crept their way into his messy hair, clutching for support as soft purrs and feathery whispers tumbled off of your lips and echoed into the darkness of the dimly lit room.

Slowly he pulled away and the two of you lowered yourself onto the bed slowly, his hand wrapped around your head cradling you softly before you hit the soft pillows of your bed. He crashed into your lips again, sloppy and fast, his tongue exploring every inch of you. Slowly his lips made their journey right from your lips, your neck, down the passageway between your breasts hindering just before the waistband of your sleeping shorts. He tugged them down quickly and you yelled out a yelp as he discarded them to the floor, leaving you naked.

His lips made sloppy movements against your thighs and you fluttered your eyelashes at the feeling. Slowly his hands engulfed your thighs, pulling your legs apart, leaving him with a direct view of your aching core. His teeth started to graze the soft skin of your inner thigh and your breathing sped up. “Morpheus,” You begged with deep and sinful desperation.

“Shh” He hushed gently against your skin. “Let me finish my apology”

His lips were on your clit in a matter of seconds and you threw your head against the pillows, a shuddering moan leaving your body as your fingers eagerly found your bedsheets, gripping them tightly.

His tongue knew every sweet spot that made you sing so beautifully for him as you writhed in the late hours of the night, your moans becoming a higher octave each time he sucked and stroked.

Your hips buckled forwards and you felt his nose bump against you and you thought you were ascending as he worked and crafted his magic so wonderfully.

He knew your body well at this point, it made sex all that more enjoyable when you had that trust and that love now you supposed.

You blushed and flushed all that more as he sped up and one of your hands flew into his hair. “Morpheus!” You gasped and moaned, feeling that coil in your stomach tightening and tightening, as you came closer to your undoing. You could barely even moan his name without it fading off unsaid as you lost your voice against his touch.

“Please, Morpheus” You pleaded. “I’m going to-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence, it was useless. He was doing this on purpose.

“You’re going to what, My love?” He smirked against your skin before he found your clit again, lapping like a madman.

And that was it.

His voice tended to be the thing that sent you over the edge, and though you hadn’t told him that you knew that he was aware, there was no way it was a coincidence that everytime you were nearing your ending he always had to open his smart mouth, a cocky sentence leaving his lips, making you shake like a virgin.

Slowly he pulled away from between your thighs and your lazy eyes met his lustful gaze and you clenched, knowing and needing what was going to come next. He took off his trousers before he crawled on top of you again. Kissing you as you could taste yourself on his sweet lips. You moaned into the kiss as his hand slowly and gently covered your neck, his thumb gingerly swiping against your skin.

Your hand nested its way into those raven locks yet again, pulling you into him, wanting to taste his lips, his tongue. All of him.

A low groan rumbled through his neck as your hand tenderly swiped over his chest, your nails dragging against his skin in a way that you knew made him lose his mind every time. You clutched at his bicep then, the feeling of his white silk skin always making you purr.

Morpheus pulled away from your lips. As he studied you, his pupils enlarging, taking in your sweaty and flushed face. You were so full of life, so responsive.

So real.

And all his.

The hand that wasn’t gently holding your neck cradled against your cheek then. An action so tender and sweet you thought you might’ve started crying again.

“Such a beautiful creature” He rasped into your ear.

You blushed as you peered into his starlit eyes.

“And all mine” He whispered against your cheek as he kissed it softly.

Your eyes rolled back at the words alone and slowly he entered you and your mouth parted into an O shape as you felt him all consuming against you.

He waited a moment as he always did, before thrusting, to allow you to get used to him.

Slowly he started to move against you and you threw your head back against the pillows. “Fuck” You moaned as you stared at the ceiling.

This was how it should be.

This is why you were alive, to be by his side. To be with him. The only thing you’ve ever felt sure of your whole entire existence.

Him.

Morpheus planted kisses on your face, your neck, your chest. Anywhere he could and your fingers slowly massaged his hair.

Your moans kept coming as he hit exactly where you needed him to. Every. Single. Time.

He started to speed up and you swore you saw stores as he messily kissed you again. Over and over until the two of you reached your climax. Your foreheads clashing together as your heavy breaths echoed against one and other. His eyes peeled open and you peered into them, overcome with bliss.

“Apology accepted” You muttered to him.

His lip twitched up as he leant in to kiss you again, gently this time before pressing a kiss to your forehead and removing himself from you. You fell into the warmth of your bed before Morpheus appeared next to you, and your head fell against his shoulder.

No words needed to be spoken as your hand drifted to his chest as you mindlessly traced your fingers along his soft skin, just enjoying his presence.

You wondered if it would be like this forever now. If this was your life.

And how lucky you would have been.

But you knew that was a lie, a mere fantasy. Sooner or later something will take this away from you. The only true happiness you had ever felt.

How you wished you could just close your eyes and stay in this moment forever.

Here where it was safe, where you felt like home.

Morpheus was home now and you couldn’t afford to lose him.

Slowly you tugged yourself closer to him, a hand draping around him as you pressed your face against his chest, holding him in a close embrace.

Morpheus looked down at your figure clutching onto him and he didn’t have to ask what was going through your mind as it was the very same thoughts that plagued him.

The universe was bound to punish the both of you, some way at some point.

And he had done the very thing he tried not to. He had fallen for you and become attached. And now everyday he would live the fear of losing you.

He brought his arms around you, cradling you softly in a tight embrace, placing his lips against your hair.

Morpheus doubted his skin would ever stop buzzing against your touch. It was just the effect you had on him.

Softly and slowly you fell into a deep sleep and dreamt of a lake by the stars beside Morpheus, only this time with no arguing, no pain. Only love.

--------------------

You woke up rather violently to your phone ringing, with a groan you picked up your phone, eyes narrowing to read who was calling you. It was Veronica, who you also had a shocking amount of missed calls from.

Something dropped in your stomach and you swiftly and anxiously answered the phone.

“Oh thank god! You’re okay” A strained but relieved voice spoke through the phone.

“Yeah I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be? What's going on?” You said quickly.

“It’s Lorna she was right in the middle of it-” Her voice became panicked and shaky and you stood out of bed at the words.

“Hey Veronica, calm down, take a second, what’s happening?” You said in your calmest tone possible despite the anxiety brewing inside of you.

You heard a couple of shaky breaths. “The earthquake, The coffee shop was right at the centre of it while Lorna was doing her shift”

Your mind was moving at an inhumane pace but only one question fell off your lips. Your breath hitched. “Is she-?” You could barely get the words out.

“She’s alive but she’s unconscious right now, we’re heading to the hospital in the ambulance” A few more heavy breaths. “Can you meet us there?”

You breathed in relief as a stray tear left your eye. “Of course, yeah I should be there in twenty”

“Thank you” Veronica weakly whispered.

Your heart tugged for your friend, unknowing and unable to imagine how she felt, If something had happened to Morpheus you would’ve been-

“Veronica, take a couple of minutes and just breathe. She will be okay” You spoke into the phone.

“Yeah I know” She breathed. “Thank you”

“Ok I’ll see you when I get there”

You hung up and instantly ran to put some clothes on.

You wanted to believe that you were simply overthinking just being a human as Morpheus would say.

But sometimes your intuition just has a way of knowing things. And this? You knew.

You knew this wasn’t just a weird random earthquake. You knew exactly what this was.

It was the universe.

Punishing you.

Punishing you for loving Morpheus.

And threatening to take away the ones nearest to you.

Guilt crawled up your throat as a few panicked sobs left your lips.

Quickly you threw on Morpheus’ coat and hurriedly left your apartment. Leaving you to only pray to the universe to spare her and to punish you instead.

All because you had fallen in love.

Fallen in love with Dream of the Endless.

[darkhangels]

15. silent night

enjoy the silence masterlist

morpheus x f!reader

warnings: smut, minors DNI, P in V, oral sex (male recieving)

words: 8117

A/N:  Ok so firstly I would like to say I am so sorry to admit but yes this is a Christmas chapter...I know, I know its way too early but I've been writing at a way faster pace than I expected so unfortunately you may just have to cope with it. This is the longest chapter yet and one of the first chapters that came to my mind when I started toying with the idea of writing this fic. I hope yall enjoy!

It was Christmas Eve.

And you were late, very late to the dreaming.

You would normally be in bed by now if not already in the dreaming. First you closed the coffee shop extremely late due to the mass amount of last minute shoppers needing caffeine, then you missed your bus and ran into Veronica. And then of course you had to go get food for dinner, which was also very late. Now you were walking the dark cobbled streets home, something you rarely did at Morpheus’ request but you had no other choice, Uber and taxis' way too busy taking people to and from parties and pubs to celebrate Christmas Eve.

The run up to Christmas left the weather glacial and bitter as the nights only seemed to grow darker and darker. Everywhere you went the same Christmas songs haunted you, despite the fact that they had been overplayed for weeks now. You shrugged your hands into the pockets of Morpheus’ long coat that you so proudly wore practically everywhere you went.

The streets were getting busier and busier as people rushed to get their last minute gifts and food for the big day, practically a stampede of forgetful boyfriends and stressed mothers flocking to every single shop in hopes to find the perfect present to gift their loved ones.

Despite your aversion to Christmas, this year you were in at least a bit more of a festive mood. After all, everything in life had been so perfect recently you couldn’t help but smile at all the festive cheer going on, but that doesn’t mean you were still Christmas’ number one fan.

You did however love the gift giving, this year you had brought Lorna a massive stack of books (not from the same bookshop you brought that book from obviously) that you knew she’d love as she was an avid reader, fantasy books, romance books you name it, you knew her favourites and knew she would adore these too. For Veronica, you had brought countless vintage perfumes, Veronica loved to collect anything vintage that was to do with cosmetics: Makeup, hair, you name it! So imagine your luck when you had walked into a particularly fancy antique shop only for there to be a whole collection of 60s perfume waiting just there for you.

Morpheus had crossed your mind, obviously, Lucienne and Matthew too! But you were unsure that they even celebrated Christmas, was there even a point in buying them gifts? Were you even in that kind of a relationship with Morpheus yet, bringing each other presents? Though you might’ve doubted it, you would’ve loved to have gotten him a present. There is nothing more satisfying than buying someone the perfect gift and watching their face light up and you wanted nothing more than to do that for Morpheus.

But what the fuck do you get Dream of the Endless?

You shoved your guilt for not getting him anything down, it was stupid. Did he even know what Christmas was? Surely so.

It's fine. You were overrthinking.

Normally you’d also have your Mum to think about but it wasn’t looking like you were going to see her anytime soon so you just didn’t bother. And so Christmas shopping was incredibly easy this year, and though you were still not fully welcoming of the holiday season, you were kind of looking forward to this Christmas.

Spending it with Lorna, Veronica and mutual friends would be a thousand times better than having to go to your Mum's place. Of course, there would always be one person missing, making it perfect for you. But you were lucky enough to even spend time with him in the dreaming, let alone in the waking world, so you were not entirely too fussed about that. Besides he’d probably go on a massive rant about how he actually inspired Christmas and religion and blah, blah with his all too big ego.

You smirked at the thought of him, as the two of you had gotten closer you found him winding into your thoughts like that. And your heart softly ached at the thought of his face, the way he touched you, his voice. Everything about him.

And yet you also started to fear.

You had cared for him.

You told him that you had cared for him.

But you knew you were past that point now.

You didn’t know what you specifically felt for him, but it was far more than you had ever felt before, and it was far too all consuming to not notice.

You pushed the grim thoughts down as you always did, choosing to simply live in the moment and enjoy the present instead.

Finally arriving home and shutting the door you arrived home with a huff as you collapsed onto your sofa, just about ready to fall asleep and finally see Morpheus. Of course that was until there was a knock at the door you groaned, stumbling away from your comfort and opening the door tiredly.

“Mum?” You almost shouted, dumbfounded at the sight of the woman in front of you.

She was rather uncomfortable, you noticed, fidgeting where she stood and plastering a nervous expression on her face. “Hello, dear” She chirped quite quickly.

You looked around her for Mark or maybe for a person holding a gun to her head, that would explain her strange expression and the fact that she was here at all, she hadn’t visited your apartment in years, she’d always pass judgemental comments on the way you and Lorna had decorated. “Are you okay?” You slowly asked, your forehead creasing in confusion.

She nodded firmly. “Quite well”

And she just stood there staring at you, a nervous smile on her face waiting for something.

You sighed before mentally cursing yourself. “Would you like to come in?” You hesitantly asked.

She nodded and you opened the door gesturing for her to come in as she hurriedly stumbled through the doorway.

You shut the door as she looked about, peering awkwardly. It had been years since she had been here. “Does Lorna not live here anymore?”

You shook your head. “No, she moved out a couple of months back”

Your mother nodded before she turned back to you with an apprehensive expression. “Here's your gift” She held out a messily wrapped present.

Your mouth parted in confusion and you wondered if maybe you were being set up, anxiously you took it from her before slowly muttering, “Thanks Mum”

Your eyes snatched up to hers. “I didn’t get you a present, I assumed you wouldn’t get me one” You said slightly coldly.

Her smile faulted and she swatted her hand in the air, shaking her head before plastering the smile back on. “Don’t worry, open it”

With a slight humourless chuckle you shook your head in disbelief before turning your attention to the present in your hand. It was extremely light, and soft. You pulled at the wrapping paper, slowly revealing the contents inside.

Your eyes widened before you swallowed and looked up to her with a glare.

She had bought you a toy raven.

A stuffed child's toy raven.

The irony was astounding.

She chuckled nervously. “I thought it was funny because of your nightmares”

Funny. You tried to see the humour in the situation, of course she had no idea of the levels of irony behind the gift, if she had maybe it would’ve been funny.

In fact if she had been there and supported you whilst you were waking up every morning with a tear stricken face and clutching onto your chest for dear life then maybe, just maybe, It would’ve been funny.

But she hadn’t been there.

She didn’t know.

And she had no right to be making jokes about such things like you were old friends.

You bit back tears. “Funny?” You repeated.

She paled at the expression on your face.

You stared at the toy in hand, it was kind of cute. Would definitely make Matthew mad and in turn make you laugh. But that's besides the point.

You slowly looked up to her again. “Mum, did you know I had that nightmare every night for almost forty nights?” You muttered.

Your Mum stiffened.

“I went to the doctor, a psychiatrist, I thought they were going to lock me away” You whispered. “Do you know what it's like to fear going to sleep every single night?”

She remained quiet, her gaze turned to the floor.

“Because I do, I still do”

She flinched ever so slightly. “How did you make them stop?” She asked quietly.

You bit your lip. “By doing something really stupid, but it worked”

“What was i-”

“It doesn’t matter” You quickly interrupted.

You had never seen your mum so quiet before.

“And this?” You motioned to the toy raven. “Is exactly the kind of stuff I’m talking about, my life may be just one big joke to you but it's my life”

“And it’s not your fucking entertainment” You glared.

Your mother looked up at you slowly, “I had no idea”

“Because you never ask”

She flinched again and you sighed, swallowing down the lump in your throat. The two of you stood silently as you rested against the kitchen counter chewing on your lip.

“I came here to apologise and now more than ever I realise just how wrong I am, how wrong I have been” She swallowed. “I’m sorry”

Your eyes snatched up to hers, wondering if you had misheard her. Her eyes were glassy and you soon realised she was tearing up. “I’m so sorry”

She quickly ran to you and engulfed you in a warm hug. And you stiffened.

For how many years had you waited to hear those words?

It would’ve been so much easier to throw her off of you, tell her to get out and that you never wanted to see her again.

But your mother had never apologised to you before.

And she was not one for giving hugs either.

You sighed and threw your arms around her, taking in the rare but enjoyable moment.

“Will you forgive me?” She quietly muttered.

You winced your eyes shut, Well, Christmas spirit and all that , swallowing your pride. “Yes”

You heard a sigh of relief come from your Mothers lips before you stiffened again. “But if you do this again, I will cut you off” You spoke harshly but sincerely.

“Of course,” She nodded.

Silence grew over the apartment and it was peaceful, oh so peaceful.

Your Mother and peace were hardly a thing that went hand in hand, but you let a sliver of happiness and forgiveness draw into your heart.

She pulled away and drew her attention back to the stuffed animal in your hand. “I’ll take it” She sombrely muttered, reaching for it before you moved it out of her reach.

She looked up at you, her eyebrows furrowed.

And you nervously chuckled. “Well I never said I didn’t like it”

Your Mum let out a chuffed smile for only a second before making her way to the door, you following soon behind her. She stopped in the doorway turning slowly to you, before hugging you again. “Merry Christmas”

“Merry Christmas, Mum” You smiled softly into her hair.

And for a second you felt like a carefree child again.

She pulled away and considered you for a moment. “You seem different, dear, happier. You’re glowing almost”

You blushed and let out a laugh. “That’s what everyone keeps telling me”

She gave you a knowing smirk, studying your face with full eyes. “Seems like love to me”

You blanched ever so slightly at the word.

Love.

Was that what it was?

“Whoever he is, I’d love to meet him one day” She continued.

You nodded weakly at her with one last goodbye before she left, leaving you to ponder whatever the fuck just happened?

And yet you were too tired to even think about it, instead you trudged to bed welcoming the warm embrace of sleep.

-------------------------

“She’s here, My Lord!” Lucienne called out as she was the first that spotted you.

You creased your forehead in confusion, as you walked towards Lucienne as she fiddled with her glasses in relief.

“Kid, we were starting to get worried!” Matthew croaked.

They were all gathered in the library staring at you with unreadable expressions though you noticed Morpheus’ posture soften as you arrived. You realised that the only other time you had been late to the dreaming was Halloween night, which might’ve raised concerns but you assumed that Morpheus would’ve just figured you were running late.

“Sorry I know, I’m late but I had to close the shop late and then I missed my bus, ran into my friend, had to find something to eat, then walk home and then my Mother paid me a visit” You spoke at an ungodly speed as the three watched you with furrowed eyebrows trying to take in everything you were saying.

You missed the way Morpheus’ jaw tightened at the mention of your mother.

“And Y’know it's really busy on the streets tonight seeming as it's Christmas Eve-”

Matthew cawed, interrupting you. “Wait, it's Christmas Eve?”

You threw your gaze to the bird. “Yeah” Before turning back to Morpheus with a nervous sigh. “So, I’m sorry for being late”

He nodded slowly in understanding as he walked to stand beside you, a silent hello that made your stomach flutter with butterflies and you had to bite your cheek from letting the massive smile that wanted so desperately to grow on your face from showing.

Matthew flew up to your shoulder. “Kid, how did you completely forget to tell me it was Christmas tomorrow?”

You shook your head and looked at Lucienne and Morpheus. “Well I mean I just assumed you didn’t celebrate Christmas here, I mean you do have a walking-talking pumpkin for a groundskeeper but I thought that was as far as holidays went around here”

Lucienne smiled. “We don’t celebrate particularly though it is hard to not feel the festive spirit of humans in the dreaming when we have children dreaming of Saint Nick tonight of all nights”

You smiled warmly at her, “Yeah I bet”

“When I was alive Christmas was my favourite time of the year, presents, big dinners, family get-togethers, it was the best” Matthew Chirped. “What about you, Kid, surely you have some big plans right?”

You smirked at Matthew, you always loved when he spoke about his human life, he was really the only creature in the dreaming that knew what it was like to actually live a mortal life, not just base assumptions on what they had seen. “Nothing too crazy, just hanging out with friends, not really that big of a fan of Christmas”

“Why not?” A curious deep voice came from beside you, you turned your gaze up to Morpheus.

“Well, y’know family Christmases aren’t always very smooth sailing and so I’m afraid I have more bad memories from this time of year than good ones”

Morpheus nodded slowly in understanding.

“Never thought you’d be a Scrooge, Kid” Matthew chuckled.

“Hey, I’m not a Scrooge, besides I’m actually in the festive mood this year” You grinned at him.

The conversation died and after helping Lucienne with some books Morpheus eventually whisked you, stealing you for himself as he pleasured you in the secret halls and nooks and crannies of the Palace making you giggle and hold your breath at the danger of it all, any moment one of his subjects could’ve easily walked past and heard the two of you. You were doing so well to have hidden your affairs with the King you didn’t want to blow it just because you moaned too loudly.

Morpheus on the other hand seemed as though he almost wanted to be caught, not caring if he heard footsteps drawing near or what not. It was his realm after all, and he was their King he could do exactly what he wanted to in his own palace and what he wanted was to hear you scream so prettily for him.

It didn’t really matter anyway, the final destination at the end always stayed the same. His bed.

Which is where you found yourself now. You were laying on his lap, silk sheets draping over both of your naked bodies, enjoying the peaceful calm that washed over you whilst in his hold, the post orgasm euphoria radiating off of the two of you in waves.

The smell of sex drifted through the air and your breathing had slowed down back to a normal rate after the world-ending orgasm you had minutes ago.

Morpheus sat up right against the pillows, his hair even messier than usual and his posture all the more ethereal as his white skin clashed against the dark sheets of the bed.

You doubted you would ever get over just how beautiful he was, every time you saw him you blushed and struggled to find your words. His gaze could make you feel so small and yet so seen at the same time, you wished only to be by his side every moment of every second.

You were getting far more than attached by this point, you felt extremely clingy though it seemed Morpheus didn’t mind or rather he didn’t particularly notice.

Morpheus however went about his business in the realm only waiting for the hour you would return back to him. He wasn’t quite sure what it was but a strange feeling would crawl up his spine when you weren’t there.

You would wind your way into his thoughts and he would smile softly to himself before feeling a painful tug on his heart, he soon realised what it was.

He would miss you.

And it made him feel like a fool. You were there with him for twelve hours at a time, more than enough surely to satisfy and yet he always yearned for more.

Not just sex either, though that was something that burned within his body like a treacherous disease clinging to him.

No, but the softer moments like this very one. Just drinking in your presence, you on his lap beside him.

How it should’ve been.

So when you were late to the Dreaming not only was Morpheus concerned as to your whereabouts but he was impatient.

He had spent every hour since you had left him last, counting down to this second.

And you were late.

He thought he’d be angry with you, perhaps he’d start to draw away from you again. But the second you arrived all of his anger just dissipated into nothing but a mere memory.

You had him wrapped around your finger and yet you had no idea.

“You mentioned your Mother?” Morpheus whispered.

You hummed.

“Before, in the library”

Your lips parted. “Oh yeah, it was strange, actually, really strange”

His silence probed you to continue.

“Well, she came to my apartment which she never does and she handed me a Christmas present so I opened it” You licked your lips. “And it was a toy Raven”

Your eyes flew to Morpheus as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I know, I know. I panicked for a second thinking maybe somehow she knew about you or Matthew but no” You scoffed. “She said she saw it and thought it was funny because it was like my nightmares”

Morpheus stiffened and he looked down at you, his lips parting in surprise as his eyes darkened.

“Yeah, I told her the truth about the nightmares, how I had them for so long and how,” You swallowed. “Not funny they were”

You shook your head still in disbelief as Morpheus watched your every movement. “And that’s when the strangest thing happened, she apologised”

You looked up at him. “Like actually said sorry, I thought I was going mad”

“And then we hugged, said Merry Christmas”

And she told me I was in love.

You flinched at the memory before swallowing slowly. “And then said Goodbye”

Silence fell as you thought about the conversation with her.

“All I’ve ever wanted was for her to apologise and she finally did and yet I thought it’d feel more,” You searched for the right word.

“Satisfying,” Morpheus croaked.

You nodded and bit your lip. “Yeah, more satisfying” You chuckled in disbelief. “Family, so confusing”

Morpheus hummed in agreement, mind casting back to his countless family dinners. “On that I can agree with you”

He hardly spoke about his siblings, nor his parents for that matter but from the limited information you had been told you realised that he was closest with his elder sister Death and has a rather conflicted relationship with his younger sibling Desire.

You couldn’t imagine Morpheus as a brother nor the fact that he had two elder siblings, you wondered if you would ever meet them though you doubted you would want to meet Despair or Desire after the stories he had told and well Death was inevitable, after all.

You thought back to the interaction with your mother, your lip curling up at the thought of the toy raven. “The toy raven is quite cute actually, I may name him Matthew 2.0”

Morpheus' lip quirked up. “He may have something to say about that”

You shrugged. “Not if he doesn’t know”

Morpheus looked down at you, a mischievous glint in his eye. “And you have that much trust in me that I won’t tell him myself”

You smirked. “Well I think Dream of the Endless probably has more pressing matters to concern himself with, don’t you?”

“Maybe so” He smirked back.

Silence ensued with the two of you again.

“I may be late to the dreaming again tomorrow night, I’m going to Lorna's for Christmas so I can’t say for sure” You said.

He nodded slowly in understanding, “Do you truly dislike it?”

It, you realised being Christmas.

You chuckled, your laugh reverberating on Morpheus’ lap, unsure why he cared. “I don’t dislike it, I like giving presents and seeing people happy but it's just a bittersweet time of the year” You explained. “Always has been, maybe that’ll change after this year”

He remained quiet before he leant down and softly kissed your temple.

You beamed up at him before shutting your eyes transcending into the bliss of the moment.

-------------------------

The streets were uncharacteristically quiet as everyone had locked themselves in for the day, the winter sun casting a mystical glow onto the world as if it almost knew what day it was.

With a slow stretch you got out of bed making your way to the bathroom to begin getting ready for the festive day ahead.

When you got to the house you were extremely impressed. Lorna and Veronica had decorated to the nines. Lights hung in almost every room, garlands streaming around the perimeter. The Christmas tree had been decorated to perfection, no doubt Veronicas work not Lorna's.

They welcomed you in with a hug and a Merry Christmas as you placed a present under the Christmas tree and said your hellos to the other guests. You knew a few mutual friends and Lorna's sister and her boyfriend of course as you beamed at them wrapping them in warm hugs. The smell of cinnamon and roast chicken wandered through the air from the kitchen as faint Christmas music could be heard over the echoes of laughter and joyous voices.

You had already felt so much lighter and in better spirits than you would normally have been if you were with your family.

Sat on the sofa you gladly took a drink of Coca-Cola deciding to go minimal with alcohol this year, you did not need to be hungover tomorrow and you had strictly stayed away from alcohol after that night.

“I love your coat!” Gwen, Lorna’s sister beamed at you admiring the long black fabric engulfing you.

You blushed. “Thanks, it's a friends”

Lorna gave you a knowing smirk. “Friend?”

You shot her a glare.

Lorna took a long sip of her vodka cranberry as she smirked at you over the top of her glass

------------------------

Morpheus was deep in thought on his throne for what felt like forever before his mind was made up. With purposeful strides he made his way to the palace library.

“My lord,” Lucienne greeted.

“Lucienne, I have come to tell you that I shall be out in the dreaming for some time creating new dreams”

Lucienne nodded though her forehead creased ever so slightly. “Sir, did you not already make new dreams a little while ago?”

Morpheus swallowed before croaking. “Yes, but this one is special, a gift”

Lucienne nodded in realisation as she tried to hide her smirk.

“I trust you can watch over things for me” Morpheus spoke.

Lucienne smiled. “With pleasure, My Lord”

With that Morpheus exited as Lucienne followed him with her knowing gaze as a smile crept onto her lips.

------------------

It wasn’t long before the dinner was cooked and you had given a copious amount of compliments to Veronica for her Christmas Dinner. You spent the rest of the afternoon playing board games that ended in light hearted arguments and fits of giggles before slowly people started to go home, leaving you, Lorna and Veronica and Gwen and her boyfriend.

Deciding this was the best time to exchange presents you had all sat down in the front room. Lorna and Veronica were of course over the moon with the presents you had gotten them. For Gwen and her boyfriend you gifted them some old wine you knew they’d love.

Veronica had gotten you a bunch of art prints that were beyond beautiful, Gwen and her boyfriend a collection of gourmet chocolates.

Lorna grinned at you mischievously before handing you your present. “You may wanna open it at home”

“Ok, thanks Lorna?” You frowned in confusion. Curiously you took the wrapped box from her and set it aside ready for it to be opened later.

Night started to draw in as the sun disappeared and the moon took her place in the sky. Everyone was snacking on leftovers and curled up with one another on the sofa.

It was perfect.

You had finally had the perfect Christmas.

The one you had dreamt about since you were a child and yet, there was still one thing missing.

You looked to the couples beside you, Lorna on Veronica's lap, Gwen leaning into her boyfriend's warm hug and a soft pinging sensation entered your heart.

Oh how you wished Morpheus was here.

It was great being in a relationship with the king of Dreams for so many reasons. If you want practically anything he’s more than happy to give it to you. Hungry? Your favourite food would be in front of you in seconds. Need something to wear? A new dress will appear on your bedside.

He’d give you anything and everything without you needing to ask and it was amazing.

And yet.

Deep down you mourned the fact that you would never have this.

A domestic Christmas, him properly meeting your friends, falling asleep together.

All that tooth-rotting sweet shit that you yearned for and that he could never give you.

He wasn’t a mortal.

And you were.

You sat up from the sofa, a new twist of melancholy spiralling down your throat. “I think I’m going to get some air really quick”

Veronica frowned at you. “You okay?”

You smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be back in five”

Heading to the door you crept out, as the cold wind hit you almost instantly in the face. You sat down on the footstep of the porch as you watched the empty and desolate street in front of you. Christmas lights glowed against the ink black sky, a few stars spotted around, some were covered by dark clouds.

You rested your chin in your hand and let out a small sigh as the echoes of your friend's laughter from inside the house filled your ears, your eyes fell back to the sky as you admired the cold moon.

Trying to cast the miserable thoughts out of your mind.

“Still stargazing?” A deep and gentle voice croaked from the pavement in front of the streets.

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked up to find Morpheus stood staring at you with a soft smile on his face. Your face lit up in confusion as you scrambled to your feet. “Morpheus, what are you doing here?”

He slowly walked forwards, silently before stepping onto the porch next to you as you turned to face him.

“Changing your opinion”

Your lips parted in confusion as you let out a chuckle. “On what?”

“Christmas”

You couldn’t help the grin that grew on your face as you blushed madly, your heart soaring at a million miles per hour. “You don’t have to be here y’know, I’m fine honestly, If the dreaming needs you-”

“The dreaming,” Morpheus interrupted you gently. “Is in the perfectly capable hands of Lucienne”

You nodded and smiled softly. “I know but-”

Morpheus stepped back ever so slightly, as he tucked his chin “If you don’t wish me here-”

Without even thinking about it you grabbed his hands and pulled him back to you. “No, Morpheus, I want you here” The grin returned to your face and Morpheus looked down at your hands in his as his features softened.

His gaze lifted up onto the arch of the porch, you looked up, following whatever had caught his attention, only to find some Mistletoe hung neatly in a red bow above the two of you. You let out a stupid snort and Morpheus watched in amusement. “This is so cheap, you know what this is right?” You looked down back to Morpheus.

A small smirk tugged at his lips. “I do believe I am aware of certain festive customs”

You shook your head in disbelief before you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion looking back up to the plant. “Wait, I swear that wasn’t here bef-”

You were cut off by Morpheus placing his lips against yours gently. You left your words unsaid as you melted into the tender kiss, your hands flew from his grasp to instead clutch onto his lean upper arms as you reached on your tiptoes to fully reach into the kiss. Morpheus’ hand wrapped around your back pulling you into him and helping keep you up right.

Slowly the two of you pulled apart and you couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off of your face as you stared into his eyes. The two of you lost in the moment before you softly leaned up to kiss him again, a strangled groan coming from the back of his throat as you clung onto his coat trying to pull him down so you could reach his lips. He softly threaded his fingers through your hair. And you slipped your tongue through his lips as another grumble racketed from his throat.

In one extremely quick motion the door swung open and you pulled your lips away from Morpheus, though your position stayed the same. The two of you dared to look to the now open door though you could both see Lorna staring at the both of you in your peripheral.

“Fuck” You muttered under your breath, only Morpheus being able to hear it.

You anxiously looked up at him, his eyes only on you, his expression so normal. Reluctantly you remove yourself from his grasp as he also rather reluctantly stepped away, still only watching you. You slowly turned to the open door, quiet as a mouse.

Lorna stood with a shit eating grin on her face. “I thought you said you were going outside for some air”

You nodded and started to stumble over your words. “Mhm I was and then I ran into Morpheus here-”

Lorna’s forehead creased in confusion. “I thought his name was Murphy?”

You gulped feeling Morpheus’ and Lorna's gaze both on you. “Yeah well, it’s short for Morpheus”

Lorna nodded, still with that smug look on her face, before she turned to Morpheus. “What is that, like Greek?”

Morpheus tore his gaze from you to Lorna. “So I believe”

She nodded and she quickly looked at you before looking back at Morpheus, your face silently pleading with her not to embarrass you.

“Well you are of course invited in, after all I’ve heard so much about you” Lorna beamed smugly. “I’m sorry I couldn’t introduce myself at the coffee shop, I’m Lorna”

You flushed and sent her a death glare before you shyly looked over at Morpheus, his expression unreadable. He gave a curt nod. “Morpheus”

“So are you going to come in?” She asked, her eyes moving between the two of you.

You looked at Morpheus, and honestly all you had wanted to do was to take him home as the night grew older. “Actually Lorns, We were thinking of heading home”

You could feel Morpheus’ gaze on you as you said the words though you still only looked at Lorna. “Oh, ok” She nodded.

“I’ll just grab my coat and presents and say my goodbyes” You awkwardly smiled as you started to head to the door before casting Morpheus a glance.

Lorna looked between the two of you. “You're not going to introduce him to everyone?”

Your eyes met Morpheus as you let out an anxious breath. “You can, if you’d like to”

Morpheus nodded and he strode up the steps beside you, placing his hand on your lower back as he always did when you were together in other people's presence. Lorna stepped aside with a victorious smile as she let the two of you back in through the door.

He clung to you like a deer in headlights.

He had met so many mortals. All of these mortals in their dreams, knew their every unconscious thought and yet, he had never felt quite so nervous.

As you stepped into the room, Lorna followed close behind, the two of you stood side by side as everyone's gaze turned to the brooding figure beside you.

They all fell rather silent and you couldn’t blame them, hell, you had been the same when you first met him. His presence was all consuming and something that was not easily missed. His very look was enough to send someone to their knees. Feeling Morpheus’ hand tense on your back you plastered a smile on your face. “Morpheus meet everyone” You coughed slightly. “Everyone meet Morpheus, My-”

You paled. You had never said what you were.

Frankly you weren’t at all sure.

You were his and that’s all you knew.

Neither of you had ever confirmed a relationship past that.

You swallowed your anxieties.

“My boyfriend”

You hadn’t missed the way his hand tensed again.

It felt childish describing him as such. He was so much more than that to you. Perhaps there wasn’t a word for what you were, but you were mortal and so were your friends, how else could you describe it.

Everyone's face dropped first before they smiled erupting into a small echo of ‘hellos’ and ‘welcomes’. You let out a small sigh of relief as you felt Morpheus beside you relax ever so softly in his position as he gave everyone a curt nod.

You leant up to his ear as he dropped his head down to hear what you were going to have to say. “I’m just going to grab my coat and say goodbye, then we can go”

He nodded at you and you left his grasp in search of your coat and presents, leaving him awkwardly stood by the door.

Veronica smirked as she looked at the brooding figure. “So I guess it’s your coat she’s been wearing for these last couple of months”

Morpheus’ lip twitched up. “Perhaps”

“And the reason why she’s been so different” Lorna added with a smirk of her own.

“Different?” Morpheus’ eyebrows furrowed.

Veronica snorted. “Oh yeah, dude, she’s been way happier and more herself”

Morpheus’ gaze turned to watching you as you milled about picking up your presents and shrugging on his coat. His eyes soften watching you do the most mundane things before pulling one of your friends into a hug and saying a hushed goodbye.

You made your way over to Veronica next, pulling her into a tight hug and thanking her for her presents. Then Lorna, giving her an extra long hug, before you reached Morpheus’ side as you waved goodbye to everyone with a gentle smile. Morpheus chose to nod as his exit.

The two of you stumbled out of the house finally left alone as you slowly meandered down the path. A content smile on your face.

“Boyfriend?” An amused voice next to you spoke.

You turned to him with a grumble. “Shut up, I didn’t know what else to call us”

“I believe you mortals called it courting once upon a time”

You smiled before rolling your eyes. “And now we call it dating”

You turned up to him as his eyes shone in the moonlight, his face lit solely from the Christmas lights hung upon the streets. The way he stared at you made your knees feel like jelly and your heart ache.

Your lips collided into his and he softly cradled your head with both of his large hands as he passionately tasted your lips, going back to when you were interrupted as his tongue slipped into your mouth and you let a high pitched groan of want and need leave your throat. “Take me home” You hoarsely whispered.

“As you wish” Morpheus responded, pulling sand seemingly from out of nowhere and whirling it around you, as you covered your eyes and leant into them.

When you opened them again you were in your front room, you dropped all your presents at once and shrugged your coat off before colliding into Morpheus, your lips connecting with his yet again, with a want and need. He responded just as quickly, taking his own coat off leaving him in his shirt and trousers as he pulled you into him, the kiss deepening and becoming sloppy and messy.

The two of you barely stumbled to your bedroom as you couldn’t disconnect from one another. Morpheus pulled off his shirt, momentarily stepping away from you before you latched onto each other once again.

He sat on the edge of your bed bringing you closer to him as you straddled him before gently pushing his chest down so he was laying down. You bent over him, kissing him before removing yourself from his lips and gently brushing your lips against his jaw making your way down to his neck and a soft groan came from his throat.

Your mouth made its way to his collarbone and left kisses down his chest and then stomach landing just before his trousers. You could see he was hard through his trousers and if that wasn’t enough the way his jaw was clenched was more than enough to tell you how you had worked him up.

With a small smirk, you looked up at him through your lashes before curling your fingers round his trousers and pulling them down, inch by inch.

You left a kiss on his groin and a clenched hiss left his lips before you took his length in your hands, and oh so slowly stroked it. His head flew back against the pillows as a grunt left his throat. You shyly took it in your mouth using your tongue to leave feverish strokes that made Morpheus moan like a madman.

Fitting him all in was hard but you were determined to make him undone as you quickened up your pace hearing the way the moans tumbled from his lips, his breath only quickening by the second.

Tears stung at the back of your eyes as you bobbed your head up and down, hearing Morpheus start to unravel before he growled and gently grabbed your hair pulling you away from him. You looked up at him confused before he rasped so roughly you only caught the last words of his sentence “...inside you”

You pulled away taking off your last items of clothes, Morpheus watching you like a predator stalking its prey. Gently you lowered yourself onto his length with a hiss, steadying yourself onto him getting used to the feeling at this angle before rocking your hips back and forwards in a steady rhythm. Morpheus placed his hands on your hips giving you more support as you rid him, causing him to throw his head back again.

This was a very rare occurrence. Normally he was the one taking charge, pleasuring you and putting you first. But tonight you wanted nothing more than to please him and watch as he fell apart underneath you. You wanted to be good to him, show him how much you felt for him.

He started to rock into you and a moan escaped you as he thrust so deep, hitting just the right spot. You fastened your pace in response and he let out a low grumble. “Always so good for me”

You started to clench around him, and you placed your palms on his chest to steady yourself as your thighs started to shake before he released himself into you and you started panting on top of him, incredibly sweaty and worn out.

Morpheus’ hand wrapped around your neck and pulled you down to him as you engaged in a lazy messy kiss. You eventually pulled yourself off of him and leant down beside him in the bed, your body weak from the work out, as your heavy breathing filled the otherwise silent walls of the room.

Slowly Morpheus sat up and drew closer to you as his lips found your necks, making you even more weak in the knees, you let out a tired whine as he made his way to your breasts taking one bud in his mouth and making your head spin with his tongue. Your hand felt his hair as you gently caressed his head, your eyes shut in pure bliss.

One of his hands trailed down your stomach to your entrance before starting to stroke your clit so slowly and gently, making you desperately and tiredly mewl. His head was by yours as you could feel his hot breath on your ear, lips brushing your cheek as you desperately started to shake at the feeling of his fingers starting to speed up. Your moans becoming louder and louder. “Morpheus!” You gasped as two fingers entered you, his thumb brushing your clit as you writhed in pure ecstasy.

His lips gently nibbled on the lobe of your ear as his gingers pumped in and out as you desperately neared your orgasm. Calling out his name with a mixture of ‘Oh!’s and ‘Please!’s. “Let go” He whispered gently in your ear and that's exactly what you did, as you clutched the bedsheets, gripping with white knuckles as you saw stars.

Morpheus removed his fingers from you and you both collapsed against the bed, sweaty bodies intertwined as you rested against his chest, weak from your orgasm. He gently started to stroke your hair out of the way of your face and you had wondered if at some point in the day you had maybe died and had drifted off to this heaven instead.

“Are you alright?” He gently asked.

You smiled lazily up at him. “I’m far more than alright”

Morpheus’ lip twitched up. “I know the feeling”

You smirked up at him as before you rested against him, his warmth completely encompassing you as the feeling of his hands slowly stroking through your hair made you melt into him. And before you knew it you had drifted off into a serene sleep.

-----------------

When you arrived in the dreaming you soon realised that you were not in the library like where you usually would arrive. Instead you were just outside the palace. Stars littered the sky as you realised it was night time in the dreaming, not necessarily a regular occurrence but nor that rare. You had expressed your deep found love for the beauty of the dreaming at dusk and nightfall many times to Morpheus who always found your wonder so enchanting.

It took him a few minutes to arrive as he sauntered up to you, his black coat behind him, looking certainly more put together than when you had left him in bed. You couldn’t help the smirk that grew on your face as he drew nearer.

“Care to explain why I’m not in the library, My king?” You asked, a faint trace of mischievousness in your voice.

He looked down at you softly and gently. “I’m afraid I have to steal you away from my librarian and Raven for tonight”

Your forehead creased in confusion. “Why?”

He reached his hand out. “Come, I have something I wish to show you”

Though incredibly suspicious and confused you took his hand as he led you round a way of the dreaming you had never been before going past wonders you had never even heard of.

Eventually Morpheus drew to a halt, slightly anxiously looking at you before grabbing your hand again as the two of you climbed a hill. This had to have been one of the highest points in the dreaming if not the highest.

Morpheus stopped yet again and blocked your gaze, moving in front of you. “We are here”

Slowly he pulled away and you stepped forward looking back to him with a confused gaze as he nodded his head motioning you to move forward.

You took a few steps and on top of the hill in front of the two of you stood a lake, a beautiful sapphire ever flowing lake that perfectly reflected the unimaginable constellations of the sky above. Your head snatched up to the sky and considering this was the highest point of the dreaming you could see the stars all the more clearer.

The only thing that could leave your lips was a gasp as you marvelled and stared at the beauty before you turned around. From up here you could see the whole of the rest of the dreaming. The palace lit up in gold, The river you sat by, fiddlers green. All of it.

Your breath hitched, as your mouth hung open unable to form words at the view, you looked back at the lake and the stars, before eventually turning back to Morpheus. “It’s beautiful” You whispered weakly.

Morpheus stared back at you, a deep intensity burning in his eyes. “It's for you”

Your heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“I made it for you” He repeated his voice as soothing as a lullaby as he stepped closer to you.

Your breath hitched. “Me?”

“You once told me how much you loved water and wished it was eternal night” He looked down avoiding your gaze. “Here in this spot of the dreaming it will stay eternally night forever”

“How is that even possible?” You gasped.

Morpheus cocked his head. “You’ve spent enough time in my realm to know that anything is possible here”

Your eyes started to burn as tears formed in your eyes, your mouth gone dry, he had remembered everything you had said about the stars, about your love for water. All of it. “Morpheus, I don’t know what to say” You admitted, as your voice wavered hoping your emotions spoke for themselves.

“Then say nothing” He softly answered. “It is a gift”

You looked back at the lake and the stars before looking round to the rest of the dreaming, one silent tear escaping your eyes as your heart throbbed. You turned back to Morpheus and threw your arms around him as you collided into his chest. “Thank you, Morpheus, thank you so much”

He looked down at you swallowing harshly, relief overtaking him as he saw your gratitude, knowing you indeed liked his gift. He closed his arms around you, holding you in his grasp as he leant down to your ear. “Merry Christmas, My rogue dreamer”

The two of you spent the rest of the night sat by the lake, stargazing and talking about anything and nothing all at once. Before you left to drift away to the waking world Morpheus turned to you. “Did I succeed?”

“In what?” You chuckled.

“Changing your opinion of Christmas” Morpheus asked, his lips twitching up.

“You succeeded admirably” You turned to beam at him. “Best Christmas ever”

[darkhangels]

14. lullaby

enjoy the silence masterlist

morpheus x f!reader

warnings: smut, minors DNI

words: 4831

When you arrived in the dreaming that night you very foolishly thought that Morpheus would somehow have covered the hickies for you. He had done similar things before after all, if you went to bed wearing a little less than normal you would end up in the dreaming with the outfit you had worn that day or the pyjamas you would normally wear to bed. So surely he would’ve covered them, made them disappear to avoid embarrassment.

You had already dealt with the mocking from Lorna and Veronica early on in the night, as they both practically bombarded you with intrusive questions and making your face flush. You did not need it from Matthew and Mervyn as well. Lucienne would surely notice but keep to herself about it. It’s not like they would’ve known it was their Lord Morpheus who had in fact attacked your neck so deliciously but still the point stood.

So when you arrived in the dreaming only for Matthew to let out an extremely alarmed croak before letting out a strangled, “Jeez kid!” at the sight of you, you were more than embarrassed. You turned to one of the windows in the library, looking at your small reflection and yep they were still there. You had hung your head in shame and covered your inflamed face with your hands.

“Someone's had fun” Matthew croaked with a sly tone to his voice.

“I thought they wouldn’t have shown in the dreaming” You groaned and Matthew let out a huff.

“Oh they’re showing alright!” He cackled. “So, who’s the lucky guy or girl?” He asked in a mocking tone sidling up to you.

You scowled at him ignoring his question, making your way over to Lucienne. “Oh come on! Tell me!” Matthew croaked and you rolled your eyes, biting back a smile before rather nervously greeting Lucienne.

She studied you over the top of her glasses with her usual tight but warm smile before her gaze turned to your neck only for a second, her eyes widened before she cleared her throat and plastered a smile back on turning to your eyes with a look that screamed ‘I’m minding my business but what the fuck?’.

And then of course Merv walked in, immediately drawing attention to you. “Holy hell! What the fuck happened to you, kid?”

Matthew sighed. “Don’t bother, Merv, She won’t budge”

“I fell down the stairs” You muttered.

“Fell down the stairs?” Merv repeated with a scoff. “And what did the stairs have a pair of lips as well?”

You blushed and groaned again, wishing to explode right then and there.

“Merv,” Lucienne warned, studying the pumpkin over her glasses.

“What? I’m just saying what everyone was thinking!” Mervyn exclaimed.

Matthew fluttered his wings “And she still won’t tell me who did it!”

You turned to the bird with a glare, “And I won’t”

Matthew's head cocked to the side. “Besides I thought you liked the b-”

“Matthew!” You shouted through grit teeth, eyes widening at the raven beside you, your blush simply growing by the second.

Merv started lighting his cigar. “Whoever it is had a hell of a time”

“Yes, thank you” You deadpanned to the pumpkin

“Usually the boss gets rid of anything like that in the dreaming, so I don’t know why you still have them” Matthew croaked.

You scoffed, “Probably to embarrass me, that’s why”

Merv cackled. “Well someone tell him, it’s working”

You winced your eyes shut and squeaked something about going to find a book in a rather high pitched voice.

You turned on your heel and quickly strode into the forest of bookshelves, hiding away from everyone as you let embarrassment wash over you. You let out a sigh of relief as you fled from everyone's eyes, your gaze fluttering to the bookshelf beside you as you ran your hands over the fingertips of the spines of books that were so ancient you couldn’t even comprehend their age.

You reached out for one of the books, a bright sapphire, the words written in Latin, of course you didn’t understand it but you could simply feel the history radiating off of it, off of so many of these books. You had quickly become accustomed to the dreaming and the many wonders it brought alongside with it. But when you were alone, able to marvel at the most mundane things you realised just how fantastical this realm was.

The only way to describe it is that it truly was the realm of dreams and surrealness. Nightmares too, though you hadn’t ventured those parts yet and hoped you would never have to, you had quite your fill of nightmares, enough to last a lifetime.

The nightmares still managed to wove your way into your everyday life, still when you were about to fall asleep a small part of your mind wonders, fears, that you would wake up in a dingy dark cell surrounded by cult members watching a raven be brutally murdered.

Still the croaks of ravens makes a cold chill drip down your spine with dread, of course the irony wasn’t lost on you. You feared the sounds of Ravens and yet one of your closest friends was a literal talking Raven.

But you couldn’t help but wonder if it was just irony, just a coincidence, maybe it was a sign, an omen?

Now you on longer had the nightmares you had begun deeper research into what they had symbolised. Freud, witchcraft, you name it. You had researched it.

The typical contender was that dreaming of Ravens meant misfortune was on the way.

But that doesn’t matter does it?

The dreams had stopped after all now, the reasoning behind them was simply a rogue demon.

Nothing else.

Surely?

“What are you looking for?”

You jumped out of your skin causing the book to fall from your hands before Morpheus quickly caught it without so much of a struggle. “Sorry, you scared me”

“My apologies” He said, watching you curiously before his eyes darted to your neck, his gaze darkening as his lips twitched up in amusement.

You followed his gaze down to your neck and you huffed. “Yeah I have you to thank for this”

“It rather suits you” He muttered darkly and you swallowed harshly at his tone.

You scowled at him as your mouth twisted into a reluctant but unavoidable smile before his lips gently brushed against yours.

He pulled away and you tried to hide your grin. “So, what were you looking for?” He asked again, looking down at the book he caught in his hands.

Your gaze turned down to the book he held. “Nothing in particular, just admiring how old some of these books are”

You gently took the book from his hands. “Ancient words, forgotten by time” You muttered under your breath, fingertips dragging along the hardcover before returning it back to the bookshelf.

Morpheus peered at your admiration, his heart growing soft at the concentrated look on your face.

You turned back up to him with a warm smile. He grabbed your hand motioning for him to follow you, intertwining your fingers with his, a glowing expression on your face you followed closely behind him as he swept through the library out into the rest of the dreaming.

You felt the warm sun hit your face and graciously enjoyed it, it was always the perfect temperature here, no matter what. Unlike the waking world's cold and unforgiving winds.

You smiled at random dreamers and dreams who meandered around and Morpheus watched all too proudly.

You had met many of his creations, he was very proud of his realm and what was his. Though there were a few names that Lucienne or Matthew would mention that you would never hear Morpheus talk about, one was a creation called The Corinthian, apparently he was one of the best nightmares created. Created all too well and skyrocketing into madness and humanity.

You shuddered at the thought of the nightmares, your earlier thoughts coming to haunt you. “Morpheus?” You bit your lip turning slightly to him.

He hummed in acknowledgement.

“Do dreams have meanings?” You asked hesitantly.

His eyebrows furrowed. “You’re asking the King of Dreams if Dreams have meanings?”

You huffed slightly, a loose laugh falling from your lips. “Like if I dreamt of a snake, would that snake symbolise something in my life?”

Morpheus looked upon the dreaming, taking in his realm with his pale eyes. “Sometimes, sometimes not”

You sighed slightly. “What does that even mean?”

Morpheus thought slowly, considering his words carefully. “Dreams are a manifestation of the subconscious and unconscious, if there is something persistently on your mind then it will more often than not appear in your dreams” He turned to you. “Whether it manifests itself as exactly how it is seen or symbolised behind metaphors it is still the subject”

Your eyebrows furrowed trying to make sense of what he was saying, Morpheus took in your reaction before licking his lips trying to explain further. “If you were to dream of a snake, it could simply be a snake or it could be something subconsciously growing on your mind manifesting itself as the snake”

You nodded slowly. “So there’s no definitive answer?”

“No, though I can usually tell in others dreams whether something simply is, or whether there is more behind it”

You bit your lip. “Ok and the snake would signify different things to other people, not just one whole meaning for everyone, right?”

Morpheus turned to you now with a curious glint in your eyes. “Yes though they can often be similar, dreams are far too subjective to be generalised” He huffed ever so slightly. “Despite how determined humanity is on finding meanings to their dreams instead of simply letting them be”

You swallowed harshly, there was truly no definitive way of finding out what the nightmare meant without asking the demon, and you were not going to hell.

Just because it may not have meant anything to you currently doesn’t mean it couldn’t have been an omen for the future.

“What about omens, can dreams be omens?”

Morpheus stopped walking beside you and slowly turned to face you instead, regarding you with both curiosity and slight concern. “Why do you ask?”

You let out a breath of air, your gaze dropping to the stony path to the palace you were both standing on as you nervously fiddled with your fingers. “The nightmares” You weakly responded.

Morpheus' eyes softened in realisation.

“I know that they are gone,” You shook your head ever slightly. “But that doesn’t mean I can just forget about them, what if there was a reason?” You looked up at Morpheus again. “There had to be a reason, the same nightmare every night for almost forty days” You whispered.

“If not a meaning then a sign, an omen” You muttered.

Morpheus stepped closer. “The reason,” He spoke slowly and gently. “was a rogue demon who preyed on you, because you were vulnerable”

You nodded though unconvinced. “But can they?”

His forehead creased in confusion. “Can they what?”

“Be omens”

Morpheus sighed slowly regarding you before answering. “It is known that from time to time the fates may interfere in dreams, as they do with all of the endless’ realms”

You let out a shuddery breath. Lucienne had mentioned them before and of course you knew from your limited knowledge of greek mythology about the fates.

“But that is beyond rare and would not happen if your nightmares were being influenced by an outside force which they were” He explained, seeing the fear in your eyes.

You let out a shaky sigh of relief and smiled weakly at him. He stepped closer, “Why do you fear them only now? They are gone” He whispered, taking your hand in his.

You looked down at his pale hands, how much bigger they were than yours as his thumb slowly stroked a circle into your skin, looking up back to his face you gave him a sad smile. “I have more to lose now, I guess”

Morpheus knew he should’ve returned you back to the way you had dreamt before right then and there.

Severed the connection between the two of you in one devastating swoop.

And yet the King of Dreams was not yet ready to face the truth.

He was simply not strong enough to let you go.

He regarded you with a kind expression before leaning down and kissing you so softly you were almost unsure you had felt his lips against yours at all. A rush of butterflies fluttered through your stomach at the feeling and you smiled helplessly against his lips. His lips travelled down your jawline to your neck, before you pulled away. “Nope, not again, this is humiliating” You said pointing to the abundance of hickies on your neck.

A smirk grew on his face. “I’ll just have to mark you elsewhere then”

He went back to your neck, “Uh Morpheus, we are kind of in public” You nervously laughed.

You blinked and you were suddenly back in the palace, in one of the many corridors. You stumbled back at the strange feeling and looked around you before looking back at him. He gently pushed you against the wall, kissing you as you gripped onto his neck, pulling him into you, hungrily nipping at his lips tugging with your teeth making a low groan come from the Dream King. He threw his head back as you made your way to his neck before he gently closed a hand around your throat pushing you back against the wall slowly. “And what do you think you are doing?” He rasped.

You shrugged innocently. “Marking you”

He raised his eyebrows. “Marking me?” He repeated.

You looked up at him through your lashes in a sultry manner. “Well it hardly seems fair I have all these marks and you have none” You went back to his throat, “My king” You hissed against his skin.

Morpheus’ head rolled back as you worked your magic along his neck before he grabbed your chin, crashing his lips against yours messily. You groaned into the kiss trying to pull away, “Stop trying to distract me”, your eyes flitted back to his neck before Morpheus grip on your chin stopped you from doing so.

“I’m afraid I far prefer marking you” He said in an all too cool tone.

“You keep telling yourself that” You hummed before kissing him again, his tongue this time infiltrating your mouth making you fall into a million pieces as you leant against the wall, your knees becoming jelly as one of Morpheus’ hand gripped your waist, pinning you against the wall yet also keeping you up right.

“You were saying?” He darkly whispered in your ear.

You felt weak against him as his tongue roamed around your mouth and he pinned you against the wall, as he infiltrated every one of your senses. He removed himself from your lips moving to your cheek as his other hand left the grip on your waist and swiftly cupped around your core, his other hand reaching for the waistband to the shorts you had worn to bed, You jumped at the electric jolts sent through you, raising one hand to your mouth to muffle any kind of moans or shrieks that would leave your lips.

“Not here” You squeaked looking around anxiously at the empty corridor that any of his subjects could’ve walked down any second.

“Very well” He muttered against your ear.

Another blink and you were in a monochrome room. With a black chair and an accompanying black bed littered with silk sheets. His quarters. You soon realised.

You looked up at Morpheus beside you, your eyebrows furrowing. “I thought you said you don’t sleep-”

You answered your own question as realisation rippled through you staring into his eyes. Before you looked down blushing, “Oh”.

He gently took your chin, moving so he could kiss you again, his other hand reaching down past your stomach entering your shorts, his finger sweeping over your clit making you softly whimper into the kiss as he stroked gently against you. Your breathing quickened as he oh so slowly teased you before you bucked your hips behind you feeling his hardened member against you, he let out a groan before he removed his hands from you, sitting down on the edge of the bed. You took your shorts off before you threw your legs over him, straddling him. You were unsure how and when but he had taken his coat and shirt off leaving him with just his trousers on. Allowing you to admire his god-like body. Slowly he landed down onto the sheets, you following him down, leaving a trail of kisses on his neck.

“Come here” He muttered, underneath you

Your eyes flew over to him and your forehead creased before letting out a huff. “What do you mean, I’m right he-”

“No” Morpheus growled and he softly yet firmly grabbed you thighs pulling you down so that your entrance was aligned with his lips.

You let out a nervous chuckle. “Morpheus this i-”

“Relax” Morpheus spoke, his words vibrating between your thighs. “Let me pleasure you”

You let out a yelp, his hands gripped around your thighs pulling you down before he hungrily started lapping you up. You almost lost your balance as your hands threaded through his hair at the shocks rippling through you, his tongue slowly tasting every part of you. Your thighs started to shake under the pressure and you let out some whispery moans.

His tongue started to speed up and you grip on his hair tightened as you hips bucked against his mouth, all previous shyness nowhere to be seen. The soft ache in your stomach tightened and tightened, setting you aflame with every touch Morpheus pressed to you. High pitched, shuddering moans falling from your lips.

Morpheus was beginning to understand your body better than anyone ever had, better than maybe even yourself. He started to memorise every part of your body that was your weakness, every bit of skin that made you moan so prettily for him. It made teasing you, if he must, all that much easier.

He wished to keep you in his quarters forever, hearing every single illicit sound that he could possibly make you scream.

Your cheeks flushed and you threw your head back. “Morpheus!”

You arrived at your climax and slowly crawled off of him, your thighs shaking ever so slightly as you breathed heavily trying to get your head back on. Morpheus sat up and made his way over to you as he softly kissed you, feeling your aftershock tremors tremble through your lips.

You gazed at him from under your lashes. The dark desire rooted deep in his eyes yet so gentle. His lips, soft and plump. The way his face was so perfectly sculptured, how smooth his white silk skin was.

And butterflies rippled through you.

How lucky were you that it was him.

Him.

With the gorgeous starry eyes.

And you were in his bed.

“You are gorgeous” You rasped out.

You didn’t get to measure his reaction because his lips were already on yours practically the second the words even so much as left your mouth.

He slowly moved your thighs apart as he shrugged his trousers down before he slowly entered you. You doubted you would ever quite get used to just how big he was but you welcomed it. Your head rolled back onto the silky black pillows as he slowly thrust into you whilst leaving soft kisses on your mouth, jaw and neck. His hands intertwined with yours as you both rocked to the steady rhythm as Morpheus’ low grunts slowly turned into moans echoed around the room.

He started to speed up and more moans reverberated through the room from the both of you and you hoped that the palace walls were soundproof, though you couldn't bring yourself to care so much, not when you were literally in Lord Morpheus’ bed, underneath him.

His raven hair stuck to his sweaty forehead as his jaw tightened and flexed with every move as if he was restraining himself, he threw his head back showing off his neck as his lips shuddered open letting deep moans fall through the air. And just like this with him on top of you, colliding into you did you realise just how powerful he was. This was not just the King of Dreams and Nightmares, he was the dreams and nightmares.

More than a god.

The Prince of Stories.

The Oneiromancer.

The fucking Sandman.

And he was Endless.

And your moans became louder at the thoughts and you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him into you, making a dark hiss come from his teeth.

He was becoming close you realised as his deep moans became higher in octave with each thrust, you clenched him into you and he released himself as his forehead fell on yours making the two of you writhe in ecstasy as your orgasms rippled through the air.

A few seconds of heavy breathing later and he placed a kiss on your cheek. “You always take me so well”

You could have orgasmed again at the words as you clenched against him again, silently praying he hadn’t felt that but of course a small smirk grew on his face. “I will bear that in mind for the future, rogue dreamer”

You blushed and let out a huff before playfully swatting at his shoulder, he exited you and pulled his trousers up before laying beside you. You let your head rest against his arm and he stiffened only for a second before opening his arm up wider so you could rest against your chest.

His skin was warm and yet it always surprised you, you had thought surely considering his cold exterior his touch would be Icey, but he was always so warm. The kind of warmth that lulls you into a comforting sleep.

“You’re always warm” You muttered against him.

He hummed absentmindedly, the vibrations from his chest humming softly against you.

“Thought you would be cold like a vampire” You continued.

“A vampire?” He repeated with amusement.

It was your time to hum then, “Well you did mark up my neck pretty well” You laughed to yourself, “Don’t tell me you sparkle in the sun too”

You rolled your head back to look at his face as he stared at you like you had grown two heads before you chuckled again, “I’m afraid someone may have taken your appearance for inspiration”

Morpheus raised his eyebrows. “I believe many humans have”

You scoffed at that. “Yeah, you’re telling me I think your style practically started the Goth subculture”

His lips twitched at your words as he stared off into the distance, a comfortable silence ensuing.

You enjoyed the pure serenity of the moment, as you felt his chest moving up and down with every breath he took. The soft whispers of his breath were so peaceful that had you not already been asleep you would’ve fallen asleep into a soft slumber

Morpheus’ voice croaked seemingly out of nowhere. “If the nightmares ever start again, you come straight to me” He hoarsely whispered.

Your forehead creased in confusion as you looked back up at him. His face was etched deep in something. “I will” You nodded.

His eyes flew down to yours, gleaming like stars only for a second before returning to the Icey blue. “Swear it”

You were taken aback by his sincerity and you swallowed slightly as your lips parted taking in his face. “I swear it” You softly answered.

----------------------

A week and a half passed.

And life?

Life was the best it had ever been.

You’d spend your days in the waking world as happy as can be but counting down the minutes till you fell asleep and would be reunited with your life in the dreaming.

Morpheus would visit occasionally in the waking world but it was rare as he did not want to depart from his realm for too long, understandably so.

You would spent your time in the dreaming helping Lucienne with books, speaking to Matthew about whatever crossed the birds mind and ‘annoying’ the shit out of Mervyn though you knew the pumpkin secretly liked his time with you.

And the best part of it was when you were with Morpheus (which was most of the time). When you were not exploring the endless sights of the dreaming with him, he’d whisk you away to a remote corner of the palace and whisper sweet nothings into your ears.

He was past the point of seducing you.

He was romancing you.

In every way possible.

In soft and gentle touches, exchanged glances when you were in company with others, the way he held you when you were alone.

And you were completely and utterly infatuated to a point of no return.

Morpheus too, hell, ask Matthew, he hadn’t seen his boss in such a good mood before.

So much so he was starting to catch on, so was Lucienne, and so was the rest of his subjects. It wasn’t particularly hard to see.

When the two of you would stare at each other, both momentarily forgetting the rest of the world. Or when a soft rosy blush would creep on your cheeks by something he simply says or does. When they would see how their Lord looked at you when you weren’t noticing.

Oh yeah, they knew.

But especially Lucienne and Matthew.

If it wasn’t the sometimes strange noises they would hear it was definitely the way the Dreaming's weather had been. Lucienne knew it the second you had arrived in the dreaming the second time for seemingly no reason whatsoever.

She knew how much of a romantic fool her Lord was. They all did.

And Lucienne couldn't help but be happy for her king and you, her friend.

But as your friend she couldn’t help but worry.

She had seen it all.

Nada, Calliope, Thessaly. All of them.

And she couldn’t stand to see you be heartbroken.

Nor her King.

-----------------------

You were working besides Lorna, the coffee shop was always busier this time of year, more people wanting hot drinks after stalking the cold weather of course.

So when your phone repeatedly kept ringing because you would not pick up due to the mass line of people, you were more than annoyed. Finally the people dwindled down and you picked up the phone with an angry huff.

“Hello” You asked through gritted teeth, your annoyance evident.

“Well, well, well look who decided to pick up” A familiar voice rang through the phone and you felt your blood boil.

You hadn’t spoken to her since the night of the reception.

“What do you want, Mum?” You sighed, placing one hand on the counter tiredly leaning against it, Lorna sending you an apologetic and worried glance.

“I just thought I’d let you know that despite what happened, I’m willing to forgive you and invite you round for Christmas”

You let out a huff as you stared at the ground. “Forgive me?”

“Yes, well you know Christmas spirit and all that” A tight voice replied.

You shook your head. “No, I’m not the one in need of forgiving”

“I beg your pardon”

You took a deep breath, “You heard me, you treat me like I’m just some burdensome piece of shit on your life and I’ve had enough, I’m done”

“How dar-”

“If you want to apologise, I’d be happy to hear it, but if not don’t call this number again”

“Excuse me?” She practically squeaked through the phone.

“Merry fucking Christmas, Mum”

And you hung up, slowly turning to Lorna at her shocked face before she started slow clapping. “That was so cool”

You grinned. “I think I did a bit much at the end though”

Lorna shrugged. “She’s had it coming for a long time”

You nodded in agreement, before the two of you closed the shop down for the night. Before you both stepped out into the cold winter night, streets bustled with crowds of people getting their Christmas shopping. As festive lights hung from the building lighting up your way.

Lorna turned to you. “Y’know you seem really different recently”

Your lips parted in confusion. “How so?”

“You’re so much more confident and yourself, self-assured” She smiled.

You blushed at her words. “I hadn’t noticed”

Lorna nodded slowly. “Whoever this Murphy guy is I think he’s really good for you”

You started to beam at her before she pulled you into a hug. “See ya tomorrow!”

You waved her goodbye and skipped to the bus stop, ready to finally go to sleep.

To go to the dreaming.

To go to Morpheus.