darknrandomthoughts - Tumblr blog

[darknrandomthoughts]

When you learned of the god of war, you thought he’d be tall and muscular and angry. When you were about to meet him, you braced yourself for the worst.

You weren’t quite expecting the short, scrawny, shy kid you ended up getting instead.

[darknrandomthoughts]

Brutal Beauty

desire hooded eyes tracking stalking predator

held immobile with anticipation and silken bounds

leather kissing flesh

in many forms and guises

sensual to stern to beyond forceful

love bruises left behind

blushing red to purple black

striped and marked

Passenger's particular type of

tender loving care

rolling to peaking pain

crashing into waves of pleasure

undone by sensation

hard intense full

encompassing

tear tracked cheeks and muffled screams

writhing in the dance of pain and pleasure

[darknrandomthoughts]

"Some of us are born in turmoil.

A spirit that struggles yet never finds peace.

We cobble it together from our best experiences and memories as we grow, but the absence remains constant."

[darknrandomthoughts]

Brutal Beauty

desire hooded eyes tracking stalking predator

held immobile with anticipation and silken bounds

leather kissing flesh

in many forms and guises

sensual to stern to beyond forceful

love bruises left behind

blushing red to purple black

striped and marked

Passenger's particular type of

tender loving care

rolling to peaking pain

crashing into waves of pleasure

undone by sensation

hard intense full

encompassing

tear tracked cheeks and muffled screams

writhing in the dance of pain and pleasure

[darknrandomthoughts]

The adventure of my ass

So I went to the ER yesterday because I lost a plug up my ass. Went 5 towns over because I live in a small rural community and my job is extremely public and for the city. After I freaked out for 15 minutes I dressed my plugged ass and off I went.

The hilarity commenced as soon as I started talking to the intake person when she wasn't sure what to put down as the reason for my visit and I suggested foreign object anal retrieval.... she choose to leave it blank.

I had to get an xray and my pants needed to be off so the tech gave me a sheet for "modesty sake" (his words) and I'm like dude I have a frikken plug stuck in my ass, I have no modesty left to speak of.

When that was done a nurse came in (she is a Saint) and talked the doctor into letting her try to retrieve it first so I wouldn't have to go through a consult. I was cracking jokes and she said "Don't worry about it. We've all be here". And I looked at her 🤨 and said "Oooooh reeallly?" which got her to laughing.

Thank all that is good she got it out. Afterward I offered to be her lesbian lover if she went that way. The other nurse said I was welcome back any time for whatever reason..... But hopefully not for this. And to get a wider flanged plug. These two nurses are getting a huge ginormous treat basket from me.

So all in all not a bad experience beside my initial minor (apocalyptic) freak out and I stupidly decided to see if I could fish it out with a pair of needle nosed pliers (no worries I came to my senses before I did anything dumb).

I broke 3 cherries 🍒 (losing a toy in me, hospital treatment for said lost toy, and anal fisting 🤣)

Best $200 I ever spent.

I am now sitting at home with my extremely happy unplugged ass.

Morals of the story.... Always keep your sense of humour because it makes everything so much easier, and get your ass to the hospital and let them do what they do if you run into issues, and be honest. Trust me they know it didn't accidently happen because you "fell weird".

*Oh and to top it all off, as I was sitting and being seen, I was wishing I had showered this morning and moisturized, and had on cute panties instead of my period underware because apparently having a plug in my ass sideways was incidental compared to those things 🤦‍♀️. I guess I do have my girl moments.

Plus while I was waiting to be seen (in a way I never thought I would be) I decided the fucking thing was jinxed and shopped for new. Yep as I was sitting there with a cock shaped butt plug stuck sideways in my ass, waiting to see if it could be removed I shopped for better quality ones that have a much larger flange.

[darknrandomthoughts]

wordsnquotes.com

[darknrandomthoughts]

Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to. It’s not for them.

Joubert Botha (via msexplorer)

[darknrandomthoughts]

The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.

(via motivated-mindset)

[darknrandomthoughts]

Tangled thoughts The pain, the pleasure, a wonderfully meshing want, need, I thirst, crave these taboos that lay between us seductive thoughts a shroud covering my inner eye thoughts fly through and by spiraling to the crest close my eyes I am there the feel the taste that mind space where i am completely taken over a hunger erupts for flesh

[darknrandomthoughts]

I am soon to be 46 and have been through a lot in that time span. Rejection, betrayal, abuse, rape, left with nothing except myself more times then I can count. I have been in moments of pure bliss, felt loved, laughed with completely abandonment, felt the unadulterated pleasure of being completely present in a glorious moment I allowed myself to recognize. I am far from perfect. I am not always at my best. I’ve not had the best life but it hasn’t been the worst either because I decide my attitudes and perceptions.

I am not responsible for anyone else’s actions. What they choose to do. The decisions they make. I am only responsible for myself. How I react. How I carry on.

Life is a roller coaster ride. There will be ups and downs, pleasure and pain, grief and joy. And a bunch of moments in between that are filled with neither.

Life isn’t fair, it isn’t easy, it isn’t going to go the way I want it to. It is truly what you make of it. Your decisions to stay, to go, to stick, to walk. Your decision to use someone as a lesson or to let them have power over you for the rest of your days. You decision to look for the sunshine and rainbows or keep yourself in a cave or in a storm. To walk away from a person/situation/arrangement or stay.

Things, big and small, happen to us everyday. The only thing we can do about them is choose how we internalize, spin and accept them. How we go on from there.

Change is inevitable. Choose your path or it will choose you.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.”

[darknrandomthoughts]

After each rejection Every betrayal I bounce back,

a little different a bit adjusted skewed

But pull it together, I do I must Spit shine my outlook and carry on

The darkness that is my constant companion , Will resurface and rise to colour my perception,

A little more bleak From a farther depth A bit more destructive Blacker Closer to the void

More difficult to shake off, to resume To get through

With each stab, kick, punch That find their mark It’s harder to reclaim my center Pull myself together Put myself back to rights

All I can do (As it has its way with me Grips me tightly) is breathe and make it through

[darknrandomthoughts]

The hardest journey is that which is taken inward. Of self discovery and awareness. Of freeing ourselves from habits and coping mechanisms made over a lifetime made so we can function which end up being a trap. It isn't easy nor will it be quick. We will fail at times, but the act, the determination to go down an untrod path, is courageous and brave. We are stepping outside of our comfort to move towards our true self and accept that our growth is ongoing, if we choose to go to and work through the challenging aspects of ourself. We have to accept who we are and all the pieces that make us. We are all made up of darkness and light. Both sides are what make us a complete person. It is how we manage those sides that makes the difference in who we are and become. Change can't happen unless acceptance occurs first.

[darknrandomthoughts]

I wonder how many hits it will take me to become bitter? So far each one only makes me pull in a little more. Build my walls a little thicker. Takes me longer to open up. Is there going to come a day where my faith in people dries up. Where I will automatically expect the worst and not even try to give them the benefit of the doubt? I have learned that most do not rise but choose to fall. Would rather lie, not only to you, but themselves. I am weary of it. Of the kicks and punches aimed my way. Them not being smart enough or caring so little that they are unable to mask it. Another lesson learned.

[darknrandomthoughts]

Crescendo

Sharp pleasure when she first took him in Soon settling into soft beats A pulse, slow throbs Running through and over them Shadows in the dark Cocooned in silence Bathed in need Her, wound around him Taking him with a slow burn of sensation Joined They rose and fell Gave and took Traveling toward bliss slow undulating movements Pushing them closer, further Rising to each other's passion Drunk on desire Beat by beat Until it became all Breaking over them in waves of satisfaction

[darknrandomthoughts]

Don’t you think I know that I am strong and fierce. That I will overcome. That I will succeed.

Don’t you think my life, my path, the road I’m on taught me well what I am made of. Refined me. Strengthened my spine.

How often have you seen me doubt, mourn, shrug my shoulders, turn away? Very few times I have been bent to almost breaking.

Why do you feel the need to point out to me what you already know I know.

I don’t need you to strengthen me. I don’t need you to push me. I don’t need you to pep talk me.

I need you to accept this sad, questioning part of me also. I need to let it flow so it can drain out of me.

I need you to comfort me and let me scream, or cry, or lay down for a little bit. Be quiet.

I need to be weak for just a little bit because I am tired. Weary, exhausted.

I just need rest for a time. To stop struggling. Numbness

[darknrandomthoughts]

Between what is said and action taken Through the cracks, the pieces, the parts The smoke screen that showed much clearer than you meant

Ask yourself……. Played or player Was it as you thought?

[darknrandomthoughts]

Our reality shapes our perceptions and our perspective shapes our reality.