darkovergrownforestnymph

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

My roommates got married last week and said today that they’re planning on moving to somewhere else in the city, and asked me to move with them when they do.

Which I appreciate so much, they’re both fantastic roommates and I really don’t want to try and find another place on my own, but also. Jesus Christ what a look. “Hiii we’re the Thompsons, we just moved in down the street, that’s my husband and that’s the ghoul who used to live in our basement”

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

Batman: * enters the room with a bunch of children following behind *

JLA: ???

Green Lantern: Huh

Green Arrow: Batman, who the fuck are these kids?

Batman: Language

Batman: These are my children. Agent A is sick so I had to bring then in

Wonder Woman: I am not acquainted with the hero know as 'agent a'

Aquaman: As long as they don't cause trouble I don't see the issue

Flash: ???

Flash: You don't see the issue? Batman didn't have any kids until not that long ago where did they COME FROM???

Batman: ...

Batman: Oldest one i found in the circus

Batman: Second eldest was born from the shadows

Green Arrow: Wha-

Batman: Third one, i found in the trash

Batman: Fourth one followed me home after I forgot the door open

Batman: And my youngest my ex mailed to me

Aquaman: Mailed??

Batman: I tried to return him but the post office guy said neither Heaven nor Hell wanted him

Batman: Or anyone in Gotham, for that matter

JLA: ...

Flash: ...

Flash: ... sorry I asked

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

Look I don’t care how implausible it is, I don’t care how ridiculous it is. Dick is eight years old when he becomes Robin. It’s the funniest fuckin thing and I refuse to ever make him older than eight when he bullies a grown ass Bruce into letting him go out at night with him.

Does Bruce take him on kiddie runs until he’s a little older? Maybe. Does Batman stand menacingly behind a brightly colored little bird to threaten the goons while Robin can’t see him? You know he does.

But Robin is still actually terrifying when he first appears on the scene, because he’s a teeny tiny fluttery little thing that does cartwheels and handstands and makes puns then launches himself full force to kick a man in the nose and then cackles when he bleeds. His laughter makes goons shiver, they hear it bouncing around warehouses and half of them bolt, because they learn very quickly what happens when a feral Robin appears.

The Gotham rogues all immediately have beef with a literal third grader because he took the bats attention away and also because he’s roundhouse kicked them all in the shins at some point and that shit hurt like hell, and then he laughed in their faces while making a pun about their villain name.

Majority of the rogues everywhere hate Nightwing because they all know he used to be the feral child that they all thought Batman should have put on a leash, half of them have been straight up bitten by him before he lost all his baby teeth, and they’re all so bitter about the fact that they’ve been beaten by an actual elementary school student. And now he’s all grown up? He’s fucking terrifying.

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

Jason Todd by Nikola Cizmesija

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

Saying this is so Ethel Cain like I’m not actively leveling up my religious trauma.

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

you're the only one who understands me mr strobbery

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

i was drafting a post that said “a single boba tea can replace up to two meals if you are pure of heart” and the reason i didn’t post it is because as i was typing those words i got so dizzy i felt like i was being abducted by aliens

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

@/briscoepark. “Save Us” twitter, 19 mar 2021.

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

nintendo: can't have alcohol in our child gambling games!!! solution???

vacation juice

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

cat laziness is so contagious. you'll see your cat flopped on its back in your bed a completely comfy cozy baby and you'll be like. you're right. you make a compelling argument.

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

awww

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

This is reminder to check up on your own mental health.

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

[darkovergrownforestnymph]

I got a mental health wellness app and decided my first entry was going to be about a videogame I played that day