darkwingdaryl - Tumblr blog

[darkwingdaryl]

done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness demands a sword.

[darkwingdaryl]

idk how to flirt but i can make things awkward if you're into that

[darkwingdaryl]

[darkwingdaryl]

Gothic Inspired Illustrations - Art Prints by AudreyBenjaminsenArt

[darkwingdaryl]

[darkwingdaryl]

I've never read Don Quixote. A knight errant slaying a dragon, or a weirdo tilting at windmills. I wonder if they are ever lucid and see their actions for what they are and practice some introspection.

If they do, are they remorseful for the danger they posed causing someone to become frightened? Are they ashamed for the hysteria they may have caused for creating a monster in someone else's mind? Are they embarrassed for being wrong about something harmless?

Or do they ignore all that and say it may have only been a windmill but think of danger if it was a dragon? Do they say they aren't the cause of the hysteria they were just trying to do the right thing? Do they say there's nothing to be embarrassed about because the danger could have been real?

Do they act like an adult and face the truth or do they dissemble like a child?

[darkwingdaryl]

Late to party and inappropriately enthusiastic, story of my life

[darkwingdaryl]

Agrias Oaks is a Holy Knight that leads the bodyguards for the current princess of Ivalice. She wholly devoted to her duty and takes no chances with her safety. She's also the one of the few female warrior reps for most of the game. The Patriarchy is alive and well in Ivalice make no mistake. The princess's bodyguards are all female because her virtue can never be doubted. Most of the female cast are relegated to damsels in distress.

She's a great female rep though. She's not cunty for the sake of trying to make her a bad bitch and there's never a moment where the game throws her gender in your face. No "girls get it done" here. She's a badass because she's a badass and just happens to be a woman.

It's too bad that she has such a short time affecting the plot. She doesn't die, it's just that when a character is recruited to your party they have little dialog or story typically. Like I said though she’s a badass and I think everyone keeps her to the end.

Her foil is Gofford Gaffgarion and from the start of the game they butt beads. Gaffgarion is the leader of the mercenary troop that Ramza joins, that troop is hired by Agrias to supplement the Princess’s bodyguard. Gaffgarion is a plant sent by Ramza’s eldest brother to keep track of Ramza and sabotage her team so the Princess is killed. She’s a honorable knight he’s a backstabbing liar.

It’s Agrias’s sense of honor that is her downfall. She’s never considers that the men sent to attack her are a ruse to lure her away. She could never conceive of someone throwing lives away like that. She never questions how they know where they are constantly. She thinks that Gaffgarion is a rude mercenary but no one would act so brazenly deceitful. She believes she escapes from imprisonment and luckily finds Ramza, they wouldn’t let an enemy go so she can lead them to a trap.

She’s direct and honest and unfortunately the Princess’s enemies are all cowards. They will fight her anyway but fair. Greater numbers, traps, deception, they know how she’s weak and they exploit it, they hide behind proxies and never think twice about any of it. Cowards are like that I would know.

[darkwingdaryl]

Went to bed last night and my nipples were aching a little, it's been getting worse throughout the day I'm fatigued, emotional, and feeling great about it yay hrt

it's so nice to have a physical sensation to prove that something is definitely happening and not just thought that I feel better about everything

[darkwingdaryl]

Delita Heiral is the yin to Ramza’s yang. He is commoner by birth and works his way up the hierarchy by playing the nobility’s game of using one against the other. Ramza is a noble who refuses the game and is labeled a heretic and loses the right to his heritage. Delita is calculating and plays close attention to what others say and do, he knows the mission he and Ramza will be sent on before they are issued the orders, he knows the names and ranks of the enemies he is sent to fight. Ramza is intuitive and is guided by his conscious, he stops the an interrogation when it gets violent while Delita calmly watches, he’s eager to prove himself in the first battle, Delita urges him to think tactically.

Despite their opposing thought processes their moral compasses align well. They both move to track down the Corpse Brigade without a thought about opposing orders. When they are confronted with evidence that the poor are being exploited for the nobility’s war they both begin to question their roles. When Delita’s sister is kidnapped they switch roles, Delita is understandably emotional and Ramza urges him to think of how to help rather than simply react.

When they are both see that how the world works is far more brutal and impersonal than they believed, they both abandon the life they knew and start again. Both with groups that on paper would be better suited for the other. Delita begins working with an opposing noble house and Ramza with a common mercenary troop. Is it providence that causes them to meet again? Or is it Ramza’s eldest brother trying to keep tabs on him that reveals his plot to control the throne which opens the door for Delita to intervene and begin his ascent?

Delita is on a quest, he will become king and create a world where the evil that happened to him and his sister never happens again. Ramza is on a quest, he will find his sister and save her from the evil that threatening to overtake the world. Delita’s enemies are humans that think they have the right to exploit others for their gain. Ramza’s enemies are monsters that think the same, also they used to be human.

Now are they in love and would totally be fucking if it weren’t for all this bullshit? I think so. I think Daddy Beoulve saw what was going on and pulled the strings to make sure they could be together before they even knew. It’s the kind of world where that kind of relationship world be hush hush and he’s the type on man that wouldn’t care and world want them to be happy. I don’t believe all these parallels and interweaves are coincidental and just means they were besties.

[darkwingdaryl]

Ramza Beoulve is a strange cat to pin down. Politically he’s a member of the oppressive noble class, he and sister Alma are children from their father’s second marriage to a commoner though. One of his two older brothers Zalbag criticizes him as a traitor a one point and blames it on his bad blood. Zalbag in the game is shown to be the more reasonable of the two so I think is safe to assume there was some hidden elitism Ramza had to deal with. That was within his own family so I think it would only be worse coming from any other noble house. So not the cool kid.

His father is known as one of the greatest knights to have lived. You get to see what someone who is considered his equal does on the battlefield in game and those are some big shoes to fill. It’s not just as a one man army though, he is known to be honorable, compassionate, fair, to strive for peace, to uplift your fellow man. True nobility. Ramza wants to be that.

Ramza never shows any romantic interest in anyone throughout the game but since the closest thing to romance is an easy to miss optional scene, a political marriage and implied sexual assault that’s not really a pronouncement of asexuality, or any sexuality. I’m not saying sexual assault is related to romance either just shoving it in here because I think it’s important to note it’s in the game. The absence of any romantic plot or subplot is a departure from every other FF of that era so it’s strange.

Then there is the brother/sister dynamic he’s got going on. Alma is the other child from the second marriage, so it’s not strange at all that that they are so close. What’s really cool is you get to see the dynamic contrasted so much throughout the game with all the other sibling pairs.

So when the time comes that Ramza has to make the choice to go along with what expected of him or what he thinks is right…

“Fuck it, we ball” he states matter of factually and draws his weapon. Love him for that.

His outfit changes as he progresses through the game to match his mindset I think. Chapter 1 he’s in House Beoulve colors, looking a little boyish and oversized, still got growing to do. Chapter 2 and 3 he’s got the mismatched armor colors, light and dark, ready for battle but unsure of what path is correct. Chapter 4 he’s made his decision. It’s him vs the nobility, the church, and gender bent evil angel Jesus and her disciples. Time to bust out grandmas sweater and armor for his arms and legs, cause he’s punching faces and kicking ass but they’ll never touch him. Seriously he can catch bullets at that point(PS1 only) so it’s not even fair.

I just remembered there is a romantic subplot in the game. It’s entirely optional but it’s between a bisexual man who rescues his transgender wife who’s been transformed into a dragon. That’s my head cannon anyways.

[darkwingdaryl]

So Final Fantasy Tactics is a tactical RPG from whenever. My stepdad bought it for me after I read an article that informed me it had my favorite crossdressing glow eyed protagonist as a secret character. I bought the game 4 more times over the years for various platforms. Don’t get it for the PSP unless you know how to patch it, it’s too laggy to enjoy. The pseudo archaic speech translation is a great improvement over the original though.

I had never played a game like it. You get to build your hero how you like. Play the class to learn the ability, slot the ability in, rinse and repeat.

The MC Ramza starts with a cute ponytail, wears pants that show off his butt(visible even with ps1 era graphics), and can wear women only accessories.

His family orders his best friend’s sister to be killed right in front of him in a brutal “shoot the hostage” situation. In every play through after the first I went through the laborious process of building his best friend as a monk that dodges arrows so he can beat the executioner to death with his bare hands. Then everyone gets blown up. Ramza is all alone, feeling betrayed by those he loved and facing the harsh reality that all the noble ideals he’s grown up believing are childish fantasy. So he runs away. That’s the end of Chapter 1.

[darkwingdaryl]

ah, the husk and alastor confrontation hurt, because husk really was just being kind. He only approached alastor about mimzy out of genuine concern, and alastor knew that -- problem is he has such a delicate ego about his fearsome, untouchable persona that he was insulted by the mere fact of husk's worry. So alastor proceeded to patronizingly cross all of husk's boundaries to treat him like a pet because he wanted to rile husk up in turn, and husk, in true husk fashion, angrily pointed out the ugly truth that alastor least wanted to hear. But alastor isn't angel, and his anger is a lot more dangerous to face than just throwing things, yelling, and storming off. it really is sad that alastor's neuroses surrounding fear and respect are helping him to destroy his relationships with the people who actually give a damn about him.

[darkwingdaryl]

the only thing i can say is to just be fucking kind and patient with others during all of this. it’s an intense subject that makes people heated for good reason but can we just not completely mercilessly rip into each other while we’re all just trying to process the same information

[darkwingdaryl]

“You’re a fake, a faux mauvais, pretending to be wicked because you’re unhappy. You’re not mad or satanic, you’re just a fool suffering from hurt vanity.”

— Iris Murdoch, from The Philosopher’s Pupil

[darkwingdaryl]

"you wrote this character lashing out/yelling at this other character over something i deem as unjustified, thats terrible" yes thats the point. that is conflict in storytelling. it's not supposed to make you feel good. if every character behaved perfectly at the start of every story then there's literally no character development or growth to be done and you have character that not a single soul can relate to.

[darkwingdaryl]

“… people will say the most heinous things when they’re trying to justify their own failures and madness.”

— Catherine Lacey, from Biography of X