darling-frostbite

[darling-frostbite]

[darling-frostbite]

Painful Love

You and Loki have been lovers for six months now. After the New York attack, Loki was banned from going back to Asgard and sentenced to stay in Midgard to do public service and to learn how to respect the people living on earth, or what he refers to as "mortals". While you are a special agent of SHIELD and now the new member of the Avengers, You're very good at combat and pretty smart, but when Loki arrived at the compound to stay there for the Avengers to keep an eye on him to avoid yet another global problem, you don't know what's gotten into you but feel like a high school teenager feeling butterflies in your stomach. As you watched him walk to the hall fully restrained, you thought to As you watched him walk to the hall fully restrained, you thought to yourself, "The way he walks is so hot." You both locked eyes at each other, and your heart skipped a bit. You couldn't help but smile, and you blushed when Loki gave you his signature sly smirk, but little did you know Loki felt flattered as well because your smile is so genuine and pure, and only his mother smiled at him like that, and it's been a long time ago. You don't know what happened to you at that moment—not the fact that Tony keeps saying "Y/n to Earth," but you don't care any less. Since that day, you keep on checking on him, sharing your books with him, and bringing food to his room, even though it will take almost forever before he opens the door, and you doubt that he will eat it because, after all, he loathes the humanities, thinking they are so weak and useless. But after months, he started talking to you. You and Loki became close to each other, and yes, you two became lovers. Loki is the best boyfriend any girl could ever imagine; he's very sweet, caring, loving, and loyal, and you love him more than yourself. Back to reality Now that you've watched yourself in the mirror, tears are running down your cheeks as memories come flooding back. It's been a month since the last time Loki and you had fun together. You don't know what happened or what you have done, but something has changed. Your clothes in his closet were moved to a mini drawer below when he used to like them next to his because he said he always missed your scent. He doesn't talk to you anymore, saying he's busy. When you sleep next to him, he doesn't even bother facing you, as if you have a disease or something. He doesn't read to you anymore, nor does he say, "Goodbye for now, my darling; I'll see you soon. Don't miss me so much." together with your favorite wink of him when he's living for a mission. All of it feels like hell, and the fact that you're losing him drives you insane. After locking yourself up for a whole day and saying you're sick when the Avengers asked, the truth is that you've just been crying all day, and now you're out of tears. You heard Loki's door crack open, so you immediately rose up from bed, fixed yourself, and got ready to talk to him about what really happened. You don't even bother to knock; you just open his door without a warning, and there he is, sitting on a single couch, reading his book as if he's so innocent of your feelings right now. "Hi Y/N," he simply greets without even looking at you.

"I need to talk to you," you said, forcing yourself to sound and look okay even though what you really want is to cry nonstop yet again.

 

"I'm tired," he answered. "So am I, Loki! you yelled.

 

"I'm so sick of these feelings! I don't know what happened or what I have done to you for you to make me feel this way! Tell me, Loki, what have I done wrong?!" Your voice cracked as your tears began to run down your cheeks as you remembered how much he loves you and promised that he will never let you be hurt again, yet this is happening.

 

He stands from his chair and looks at you emotionlessly, as if you're just a mere mortal standing in front of him compared to the way he looked at you before, full of admiration and love.

 

"You did nothing wrong, Y/N," he stated.

 

Y/n? He called me by my name. You thought to yourself, This is the first time he called you that since you started dating. A single tear runs down your cheeks again.

 

"Then WHY?!" you yelled as your knees, feeling weak, began to fall to the ground. "There must be a reason, Loki; please tell me." Your last words were almost a whisper as you begged.

 

Loki kneels beside you, looking at you with pity and guilt in his eyes. "Believe me, Y/N, you did nothing wrong, and there is nothing wrong with you." He pauses for a second, as if trying to find less sharp words that would hit your feelings. "It's on me; I just- I just feel like—" he stutters and takes a deep breath before continuing.

"I just don't love you anymore." he admits.

 

You laugh sarcastically and stand, shaking your head no. "Your lying! No! No! Loki please! Please stop this, tell me it's all a joke, that you're just playing games again, that this is just one of your stupid pranks!" you sobbed. Loki, I'm telling you this isn't funny anymore! "

You really hope this is a silly joke and he will start laughing and hugging you any moment now, but no, he's just standing in front of you looking at you full of pity. "Loki, please enough of this; you're hurting me" you whisper to him. You reached your hand to his left cheek and said, "I love you, Loki." This is your last card, and you really hoped you would hear the response you craved, but instead you heard what you feared: "I'm sorry, Y/N," he answered.

 

His words act like a queue for you, and you start running away as fast as you can. You can see the Avengers calling you, but you can't hear them. Everything is blurry due to your tears, and you can't hear anything other than Loki's hurtful words being repeat in your head like a loop. You don't know where you're going, but all you want is to escape from your feelings. You didn't even realize that you were now in the middle of the road and had been hit by a truck.

 

Loki's POV

 

After Y/N left, I fell to my knees, regretting every word I said, cursing myself, and thinking how foolish I was to push away the only love I ever had. I immediately stand and run after her, but she is fast as always, and I can't see her in the compound anymore. "Loki, what happened? Why is Y/N crying while running away? What have you done?!" " Stark asks me as I keep on looking for her all over the room, but I feel insulted by his words: "I only did what all of you always wanted! "I spat at him while looking at all of them full of disgust. I want to kill them all right now, but I know Y/N would be hurt if I did because they are her family, so I stop myself and run out of the compound to find the love of my life.

 

As I was running from the compound, I suddenly felt cold all over my body as I saw Y/N in the middle of the road, not aware of the truck that was coming her way. "Y/N!" I screamed at the top of my lungs to stop her, but it was too late. She got hit, and I saw with my own two eyes and heard a thud when her head hit the ground hard. I ran to her and saw her unconscious body bathed in her own blood. I kneeled beside her, trying all my healing power to heal her, but the damage was too much. My tears began to fall on my cheeks like a waterfall as I sobbed, holding her bloody hand. "Y/n! Y/n darling, please don't leave me, my love! Help! Somebody help my Y/n!" I pleaded as I kissed her hand. "Please, darling, I'm so sorry I didn't mean any of the words I told you earlier! I'm so sorry I hurt you! Y/N, I love you! "That's the last word that left my mouth as the heavy rain started to fall. I feel so numb right now that I cannot even feel the raindrops on my own face. My past is full of pain, but I think this is the most painful part because I lost the only person who loved me so much, my everything, and it's my fault. My life that used to be worthless became the complete opposite when Y/N arrived; she's the only reason I still want my heart to beat; without Y/N, I'll choose to die a thousand times. If only I could turn back time or have one last chance to once again protect my Y/N, I swear to all the gods I wouldn't fail. I would set fire to the nine realms for her.