darlingdaisies - Tumblr blog

[darlingdaisies]

We were fifteen.

when she comes to me late at night to ask me how i’ve been,

i will embrace her with love and say “i forgive you, i hope you can forgive me too.”

- M.L, Letters from a Field of Daisies,

April 19, 2024 ; 01:22.

[darlingdaisies]

Leaving Home

i no longer wish to lay beside you.

i would much rather lay awake

in an empty bed

and a blanket of pin dropping silence.

your touches no longer feel like a feather,

your eyes evoke more fright than comfort.

you are broken bones in december

and fresh scrapes on skin in july.

i refuse to fear what is considered safe.

i refuse to let exchange of security for you.

you are not my home.

perhaps you never were.

- M.L, Letters from a Field of Daisies

March 17, 2024; 19:27

[darlingdaisies]

Thoughts at Night

my heart aches to be loved.

my skin burns to be touched.

my body hurts.

will i ever be enough?

- M.L Letters from a field of Daisies

Sometime in February 2024/

[darlingdaisies]

Self Sentiment - A Take on the Orange Peel Theory

i dislike peeling oranges.

they leave my hands messy, sticky, and smelling of citrus.

but i quite enjoyed them, even more so in the winter

when the sweetness blended in with bitter

and the feeling of summer creeps back onto my skin.

but god do i hate peeling oranges - but i peel them anyway.

not for family nor friends but for me.

because i hated peeling oranges

but i liked myself enough to peel oranges for me.

[darlingdaisies]

Last Year

i was 12 when my friends and i were playing chase at the park.

i was 13 when i had my first crush and 14 when i had what i thought to be the worst heartbreak of my life.

i was 15 when i lost all my childhood best friends and 16 when i felt the loneliest despite being in a room full of people.

and now i am 17. i still find traces of my old friends in my room and reminders of how bad my first kiss was,

but now i taste the bittersweet ness of losing the feeling i long for of being a carefree child once more.

- M.L , Letters from a Field of Daisies

December 4, 2022; 08:56.

[darlingdaisies]

From a Lover

my adoration for you will continue to stretch further and further until it has reached the heaves above, for my love for you is infinite and my soul is of your belonging.

i wish to spend all my lifetimes with you, even if i have to search the entirety of this universe to be with you once more.

- M.L, Letters from a Field of Daisies

October 29, 2022; 20:41.

[darlingdaisies]

The Sun

as i watch the moon sink into slumber

i await for the sun to rise once more.

i stay seated in front of the window until i see the once dark sky become painted in shades of orange, yellow, and pink hues.

unlike the moon, looking directly at the sun would be impossible without facing repercussions.

perhaps it is like that as the sun is far too beautiful to be looked at,

but not everyone can understand the beauty of it, only seeing a ball of fire rather than its rays that light up the darkness around us;

without it we simply would have no life.

beauty is indeed subjective

and while others admire the moon and its subtle shine at night,

like a sunflower, i follow the sun.

- M.L, Letters from a Field of Daisies

August 28, 2022; 13:00.

[darlingdaisies]

Crafting Beauty

my room is filled with unfinished poems and paintings that are half done.

upon creating these, there was a flame of inspiration within me, however the flame never lasted too long.

but i so badly wanted to make something beautiful, so i wrote despite the lack of motivation, and painted with no meaning, and so i disliked everything i have ever created before it was ever done.

instead of creating beauty, i was left with meaningless words and half colored canvases.

only then did i learn that you simply cannot force beauty, for beauty will come to you.

- M.L, Letters from a Field of Daisies

May 1, 2022; 21:43.

[darlingdaisies]

On the Topic of Love

love must be important

love just be true

but how can you love someone

if you can’t love you?

- M.L, Letters from a Field of Daisies

April 6, 2022; 13:42.

[darlingdaisies]

Burning Hill

you are stuck at the top

with no way down

as fire ascends from every side.

the instinct is pure panic,

no thoughts of fight or flight.

you think to scream for help

and see not one person in sight.

but within the depths of fear

you make no effort to find escape.

enamored by the flames,

you have a strange desire to stay.

and so your skin burns

as the heat eats you away.

leaving you to rest

in the ashes where you lay.

- M.L, Letters from a Field of Daisies,

January 29, 2024; 23:48 / February 16, 2024; 16:45.

[darlingdaisies]

Author's Agony

He wrote of tragedies that portrayed the forever burning flame that set his soul alight when he was far too young to know how to extinguish the agony and realized too late that he had to escape the smoke that slowly filled his lungs with a sorrow so deep inside him that it had engraved itself deep into his bones and would follow him wherever he would go.

- M.L Letters from a Field of Daisies

March 15, 2022; 16:48.

[darlingdaisies]

Exquisite Pain

- the heart wrenching pain of loving someone you cannot have.

It is only as if yesterday we were running through a field of blooming flowers, the grass brushing against my skin as he chased after me.

You see darling, I have long lost the one who owns my heart, the one I simply could not have to begin with.

As if he was the forbidden fruit I mustn't touch - he and I were simply not meant to be with each other, fighting for opposite sides, wanting different things.

He, a soldier determined to fight for his country, and I, a woman who would not bow to any man of such, ironically became enamored with one another.

such simplicity of being together brought blood rushing through my veins - I was, to say the least, infatuated.

But in spite of such times like this, we mustn't forget that life is not easy.

Joyous moments make us forget about the war raging outside of our own world.

I can still recall the day it happened, as I shared my last moments with him, people were boring holes into my soul, stares piercing my body as the tension grew.

But darling, I want you to understand that though he was against my kind, my adoration for him was much stronger than what the outsiders had to say.

A woman sobbing as her beloved, a man from the other side, bleeds due to a bullet being pierced through his lower abdomen was surely a rare sight to see.

Their whispers fade as i felt his hand on my cheek, I looked at him and smiled, holding his hand, feeling the tears roll down my face.

I must have looked mad, covered in tears, red streaks seeping through the white of my skirt as i held his head laid on top of my lap.

He gave me a smile, one I could never forget.

I watched as his eyes slowly close. I begged him to stay awake; surely help would come soon - but it was too late.

He had stopped breathing.

And I stand there years later, sitting in the same field we had run through, my heart felt as though it had been ripped out of my chest from many years ago as I gripped his shirt tightly, sobbing and begging for him to stay as I felt the soldiers pull me away from his lifeless body.

As I press my knees tightly against my chest, I acknowledged this terrible feeling; the soul crushing, gloomy, sorrowful feeling that I get every once in a while.

A pain so heart wrenching, so heavy hearted I could only sigh and pray for the pain to end.

A pain I can only describe as exquisite.

- M.L, Letters from a Field of Daisies

May 31, 2021; 02:18.

[darlingdaisies]

Flowers

"hi dear, i know you hate it when i get you presents but i got you some flowers today- they're your favorite too.

i ran into someone on the way here- i forgot his name to be honest. was he your friend from college? i can't quite remember.

i hope you're doing well. i miss you everyday"

your lover says, setting the flowers on the ground where you lay six feet underneath.

- M.L, Letters from a Field of Daisies

July 16, 2021; 19:37.

[darlingdaisies]

People Who Don't Exist

how ironic is it that we all have important people that shape our lives

and yet out of seven billion people we might not even exist in theirs.

but then there are people who never existed to begin with-

the ones that you've created in your head to hold a light over you when the darkness swallows you, even in the sunniest days of the year.

the ones that shield you from the fires that threaten to burn your skin.

the ones that wipe your tears and embrace you when those who were supposed to protect you were the same ones who hurt you.

the ones you needed the most but where never real to begin with, the people who don't exist.

- M.L, Letters from a Field of Daisies

October 31, 2021; 19:08.

[darlingdaisies]

Uncertainty

at the young age of ten, i had realized that hospitals gave me the sense of anxiousness that no other place could.

why was the young child who came through those glass doors leaving with tear stained cheeks? why did the woman wearing a blue dress look devastated as she made her way to the pharmacy with papers - which i could only assume were lists of medication - in her hand?

i had no answers to any of the questions that roamed in my head but the one thing i knew for sure was that the responses wouldn't have been good.

the feeling of not knowing what was going on brought me sadness and i could not understand why; these people were strangers to me and yet i felt a certain way towards them.

maybe it was my first time sympathizing with people i have never met before but the gloomy feeling that i had brought me to the conclusion that uncertainty was not always a feeling - it could be a place - a place that leaves you confused, a place that leaves you wondering "why is this happening?" "what is yet to come?" - a place that leaves you wanting answers that you may never receive.

- M.L Letters from a Field of Daisies

November 8, 2022, 19:37.

[darlingdaisies]

Spilled Ink

"will you still write to me?"

you asked me years ago

and i couldn't help but laugh.

of course i would still write to you.

even if it is two in the morning

and i have ran out of ink

i will still write to you.

even when the shelves of letter paper have been emptied out

i will still write to you.

even when my hands are shaking and my vision is weakening

i will still write to you.

but i could have never expected

to wake up one day

and find out that you are no longer with me.

but as promised,

i will still write to you.

as the tears escape my eyes

a bitter sweet feeling takes over me.

my sweetest darling,

after all these years,

i will still write to you.

- M.L, Letters from a Field of Daisies

March 2, 2021; 00:14.

[darlingdaisies]

Behind the Red Curtain

After every play, claps from the hands of the audience would be heard all around the Elizabethan playhouse as the actors and actresses exited the stage.

Many praised the playwright, the man behind it all, the poet who diligently crafted his plays for the people of London to enjoy.

He would become known as perhaps the world's greatest dramatist; a writer known by many and loved by more.

But "behind every great man," they say, "is an even greater woman," and an outstanding woman his wife was.

As the playwright thrived in the capital, his abandoned family remained in the town that is Stratford-upon-Avon.

He had three children; an older daughter and twins living under the care of their mother, his wife.

She loved them dearly, as most mothers do, but no amount of love could prevent the tragedy that came to be; the passing of her only son.

As she grieves, he comes home to find his child gone, buried.

Perhaps the house was full of reminders, maybe it was his youngest daughter that looked identical to his late son - whatever it was, the playwright was gone.

Many years later, the wife heard of a play by her husband named after their son.

She travels to London, accompanied by her brother, scouring the cities for her husband.

Alas, she finds him in the playhouse, just before the play starts.

She watches in agony as the performance begins, and as it comes to an end, the usual claps and cheers from all around the playhouse could be heard.

But two souls remain in their place, quiet as ever; the playwright and his wife.

He was a great poet, his works being praised endlessly, but this made no difference for the family he had left behind.

But no one knew that, for no one could see behind the red curtain.

- M.L, Stories from the Stars

February 24, 2022, 00:23.