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darlingdreamersworld · 20 days

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snow | j.s

in which you teach jon how to make a snowman

gif by @ssansastark

hints of time-travel, jon’s pov, not set in any particular season, no spoilers

JON’S FUCKED, that’s for sure.

he’s completely, utterly fucked and that’s putting it lightly.

you’re smiling at him like he coloured the sky above blue or hung up that pretty sun and he can’t get enough.

“what? you’ve never made a snowman before?”

clearly, the fact that he has never made a snowman (whatever that even is) is baffling to you.

you almost seem offended, he bites down a smile at that.

“i’m afraid, not. what’s a snowman, my lady?”

he kneels down to where you’re already knelt, a pile of snow infront of you. it’s not as graceful as he’d like considering the sheer amount of layers he has on but he manages to get into a somewhat comfortable position next to you.

“well, it’s a man made up of snow,” you squint your eyes at him, “and i told you to call me by my name.”

“apologies but your snowman talk has me unable to think of anything else.”

you chuckle and it’s almost embarassing how his chest swells with pride and adore.

“wait till you see it, you’ll be speechless too.”

you’re teasing him now, he’s laughing. a warmth bubbles up right where his heart beats.

“alright then, show me this snowman of yours.”

and just like the races, you’re off like a horse. your hands are balling, rolling heaps of snow and he can’t say he’s not intrigued.

he tries to help too.

it’s at a much, much slower pace than yours but your praises keep him going. his face’ll burn off if his cheeks turn any redder right now.

you say something about snow angels and he catches a snow ball fight in between but truth be told, he can’t seem to focus on what you’re saying.

maybe, the cold’s got to him or the bitter ale he downed for lunch.

all he can see is that little strand of hair falling onto your face, you blow at it away. (expertly, if he may add.)

but it’s relentless, keeps falling onto your face everytime you bend just a little forward.

he wants to tuck it away for you, maybe behind your ear.

the thought of doing that seems somewhat more daunting than falling headfirst into a herd of white walkers.

“we’ll make it the prettiest snowman anyone’s ever seen.”

“where i’m from, snow men aren’t called pretty.”

it slips from his mouth, and he’s already rethinking it, hoping he hasn’t ruined the moment.

“that sounds like an awful place.”

he’s chuckling again, partially at himself too because he always seems to forget that you’re you.

the lady from a faraway land, with a very, very strange name and even stranger names for the stars in the sky, who doesn’t seem to care for anyone’s last name.

that’s cassiopeia right there.

you’d shown him the constellation one summer night, even traced the shape on his palm for him.

truth be told, he couldn’t see the damned thing at first.

perhaps, he didn’t want to so you’d trace the shape of it on his palm again.

“can you pass me that twig right there.”

you’re pointing to a desolate twig, blackened and broken, lying next to many other such twigs. he raises his brows slightly, questioning a need for it.

“it’s his nose.”

of course, it’s his nose.

he’s stifling a laugh as you stab the poor head with the twig and even place two rocks as it’s eyes.

“will he have a name?” he manages to choke out between a fit of just embarassingly high pitched laughter.

“olaf, i saw it in a movie once.”

there you go again with your mentions of these strange things he’s yet to see. the way you’ve described certain things, they have to be true. no one can convince him otherwise. he only wishes to see them as well.

you give him a sad smile whenever he says so.

you and me both.

“alright, olaf it is. olaf of winterfell, has a nice ring to it.” he watches you draw a little slit where it’s mouth should be in a lopsided grin.

and it hits him.

longing, love, lust, want, need all embroiled into one deep in his guts.

you’re right here next to him yet his heart’s still crying out for something more, more than just stolen glances or lingering touches.

he’s told you everything he’s ever known and you’ve listened, providing him with understanding, never pity. the oceans would drown before you ever belittled him with pity.

you’ve told him everything he’s never known and he’s listened, hung on to every word like a

prayer.

but somehow that’s not enough for him.

he wants to tell you about the other times too, like when he bit down on his quivering lips so hard all he could taste was blood and not the feast laid infront of him as he watched his family feasting as well, just a few metres away at the dining table.

he wishes to tell you about the time his father smiled at him, even praised him for his swordsmanship.

he longs to tell you about how the sweetest cherries grow right beside the river bank, he’d like to take you there himself too. but, they only grow after winter fades into spring and no one knows how long a winter lasts.

a sense of urgency overcomes him, he’s scared he won’t be able to, that you’ll somehow disappear before he can.

how does a moment last forever?

something in him has always known that you’re not from here, not just winterfell, not just the north or the south but anywhere in the entire seven kingdoms.

this tugs at his heart, you’re not supposed to be here and it means the gods could take you away just as easily as they put you here. the thought is crippling, he wants- needs you to stay.

it’s selfish to think that way especially when he’s seen you cry for your home, your family and held you through all of it, he knows that and yet his heart sinks everytime at the thought of letting you go.

“where’s your mind at, jon snow?”

he almost lets it slip, that he’s spent countless nights thinking of ways to tell you how he truly feels about you, maybe get down on one knee as well. it’s on the tip of his tongue, begging to be said.

the way you’re looking at him, he’s almost sure you already know.

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darlingdreamersworld · 26 days

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Hey! If requests are still open for Jason, can I ask for something. If this too much or uncomfortable you of course do not have to write it, I just wanted to check and see

Hbo Titans Jason where he and reader have always been best friends since before he became robin, possibly they are secretly pining for each other (because I love that trope lol), anyway at titans tower the episode where Jason was gonna jump, could you write that he does and it starts a timeloop that reader is stuck in and she's the only one aware of it, and classic timeloop trope she's trying again and again to save him but it never works out until eventually she can't watch him die anymore so when the day restarts she goes straight to the roof and jumps. This breaks the timeloop and the day starts again, she is alive, jason is alive. And team titans somehow have all the memories from the timeloops so everyone including jason knows that she has had an unbelievably shit time and then her and jason talk and he's kinda really mad that she did that and really confused and that's when she admits that she loves him

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

"57 times I relived the day, 57 times I tried to save you, 57 times I failed, 57 times I watched you die!"

Warnings: continuous mentions of suicide from Jason and one suicide mention from Reader

Notes: A lottttt of dialogue

Love how you think, anon

Undying and forever concealed feelings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You have no words to describe your feelings towards your best friend. You have no words to describe your intense, undying love towards Jason Todd.

You and Jason have been ride or die ever since you were kids. You were both orphans, but he seemed to get the better end of the stick once he got caught by Batman while he was stealing the tires off of the Bat Mobile.

But Jason never left you in the dust. He always came and visited you. Gave you the nicest food from the manor, told you about his role of Robin, taught you all the tricks and moves he learned from Batman.

He said he could get you a room at the manor. Pull some strings. But you told him that Crime Alley was your home. And you could rely on him, as Robin, to protect you, and the other people whom Batman seems to overlook when saving Gotham.

But when Bruce put Jason under Dick's care within the Titans, Jason practically begged you to join with him. Seeing as he'd be moving to San Francisco, farther away from you, he wanted you to be by his side. Not because he thought you couldn't make it on your own in Gotham. No. He knows how much capability of protecting yourself

He wanted you by his because of his undying and forever concealed feelings for you. He barely managed to go a day without seeing your smile back in Gotham. Who knows how he could've felt if he had to live months, maybe years without seeing your face.

So after getting in his knees, begging you to come with him, he pulled some strings and begged once more. Put his pride aside just for you, and convinced his older brother, Dick, to let you join the Titans. He said you were a fast learner, strategic, and absolutely amazing.

And that's when Dick saw it. That shimmer in Jason's eyes as he described this amazing girl. Dick knew how Jason felt about you. But without revealing this new knowledge, Dick just came up with the excuse that if your presence will get Jason to stay in line, then you can join.

And Jason's bright smile just proved Dick's theory of Jason's obvious love for you.

"Oh my god, I think I dislocated like 50 joints and bones," you say sarcastically, walking into the Tower after a long side mission. "Gonna take a fat nap, Dickwad," you yelled over to Dick before walking towards your room and Dick just rolls his eyes, smirks and shoos you off.

Gar shoots finger guns at you, telling you it was a good idea and headed off towards his own room to catch some Zs.

You changed into comfier clothing, you headed towards Jason room, right beside yours, before going to take a nap.

Ever since Jason's encounter with Deathstroke and his... fall, Jason was benched. So you regularly checked up on him and stayed by his side while he remained silent, staring out the window, and blasting heavy metal and rock music.

You rapidly knocked on his door and entered his room, knowing he couldn't and wouldn't hear it over the music and his disassociating state. He wouldn't let anyone in. But you're not anyone.

When you entered, you turned down his music, just a smidge, and walked by his side.

You stared at the side of his face. His eyes shifted up and down, and his breaths were shallow.

You sighed. "Hi, Jay," you whispered. He didn't respond. "You're not falling. You're okay." You reminded him every time you came in to check up on him.

You walk towards the window and slowly close the curtains. "Keep them closed, Jay. Okay? Today's mission got my limbs in a twist, so I'm gonna go take a nap and come back later, 'kay?"

Jason didn't reply, but you noticed his Adam's apple bob, telling you he tried to hum in response but just couldn't. But that was enough for you.

You were finally into a deep sleep, but around half an hour in, you were awoken by yellong coming from Jason's room. So you quickly got out of bed and rushed into his room.

"How fucked up are you?!" Was the first thing Rachel said when she stormed in. "All you do is give people reasons to hate you!"

"Uhm, what the fuck Rachel??" You exclaimed as she obviously isn't reading the room that Jason wasn't doing good.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jason lowly replies. You try to look into his eyes, but they're still directed towards the closed window, and your heart shatters at his emotionless state.

"The crosses on my mirror!" Rachel says.

Jason finally tears his gaze from the window and turns to Rachel. "I still don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

Rachel's eyes and gem glowed red, and her voice became distorted as she shoved Jason, hissing, "Don't fucking lie to me!"

But you shove Rachel back. "Dude, what the fuck are you on about?!"

Before she could reply, Jason spoke up. "I'm tired of this shit." You heard the tiny quiver in this voice and your eyes sadden, watching your best friend grab his jacket and storm out of his room.

You quickly tail behind him as Rachel screams fuck, walking behind you, slamming the door shut.

"Jason!" You called out to him.

"Don't fucking walk away from me!" Rachel yelled out.

"Woah, hey, what's the problem?" Dawn tried to calm everyone down.

"Jason drew crucifixes all over my mirror!" She cries.

"Thats bullshit!" Jason argues back, with you defending him.

"Shut the fuck up, Rach, he was in his room all day!"

"Jason, it's okay if you're angry," Dawn says.

"He didn't do shit, Dawn," you replied, annoyed.

"Don't fucking blame me for her voodoo issues," Jason growls.

"Jay," you said his name, giving a look to calm down.

As Donna walks in, asking what all the drama is about, Dawn tries to explain how Rachel thinks Jason drew crosses all over her mirror, Rachel yelling that she knows Jason did it.

This led to pointing fingers towards Jason. This is not how you wanted to relax, coming home from a mission.

At this point, it was believed that Jason planted the bourbon bottle, the picture of Ellis, and the orange sida bottle around the tower.

"You people are insane!" His eyes started to water. At this point of you and Jason's friendship, you both can feel one another's emotions. Not accurately, but you wanted to sob for Jason. All he ever wanted was to prove he is a worthy hero. "I'd rather be with Deathstroke than you assholes."

"Jason," you quietly call out, your voice cracking in the process. Jason couldn't even look at you. He didn't want to see your face, thinking that you believed them over him. That would really break him.

The elevator dinged, and the doors opened, revealing a sweating, wide-eyed Dick Grayson holding a small hand gun.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. But then your heart raced faster after Dick announced that Deathstroke was in the building, planting shit around everyone's rooms.

You knew it. You knew Jason would never do some crazy shit like that.

Speaking of Jason.

You looked around the room while Dick was further explaining the explanation. Jason was nowhere to be seen. Instantly, you ran past everyone, sprinting towards Jason's room, only to be met by a heavy silence.

"Y/n?" Gar called out behind you.

"I- I can't find Jay!" You exclaimed. You ran past Gar, heading straight to the roof.

When things got tough, you and Jason went to the roof, laid on the rough, pointy gravel, and talked to each other. Reminded one another that neither of you are alone.

And there may or may not have been a moment where you and Jason's eyes couldn't help but glance at each other's lips. But that was quickly interrupted when Gar and Rachel barged in and said they wanted to train.

But bursting through the door, the happy memories of your time spent with Jason were quickly erased. Now, all you could imagine when picturing the roof was Jason standing right at the ledge.

"Jay!" You cried out to him.

"I keep falling," his voice breaks.

Though he couldn't see you, you aggressively shook your head. "No, no. Jay, Jay you're- you're gonna be okay," you try to say through your stutters. "I- I wasn't there befire to catch you, but I will be now! Whenever you feel like you're falling, my hand will be with yours!"

"No. It won't stop. And.. And Bruce wasn't the first one who tried to help me. I can make a list, you know. Relatives, teachers, cops, Dick. Nobody's been up to the task."

"What about me, Jason? There's no way I'm on that list because I've been by your side since day one!" You took a step forward closer to him.

He shook his head. "I've got a poison in me. Shit spreads. It can affect even the healthiest people. I can't put that shit on you."

You dangerously took another few steps forward. "Jason, please. You know me- I know you! We help each other all the time! I'm not gonna stop now!" You didn't notice your cheeks getting wet and your vusion getting blurrier.

"Remember that time I was put into juvie? Four fucking people died. It follows me around like a curse. I'm the reason this place doesn't work. I'm the reason why everyone hates each other. I should have never asked you to come with me. You would've been better off back in Gotham without me." And Jason starts to cry. His tears mirror yours, salting and staining his cheeks, reaching down to his busted lips, leaving a slight sting to its wound.

"That's not true, Jason! You have no idea how much it means that you asked me to come witb you!"

Jason ignores you. "But I can fix it. Remove the poison."

"Jason what-" Your confusion was quickly cut off by your ear pitching shrieks. Jason steps off the ledge, his whole body falling limp.

You were too slow. You couldn't reach his hands. Your fingers couldn't even graze his.

You didn't want to look over the edge. You couldn't even if you wanted to. Your legs gave up on you, and the stones and gravel dug into your skin as you fell to the ground.

Your screams alerted everyone else as they all burst through the door, only to be met by your broken state that was crying and calling out for Jason's name.

It felt like you couldn't breathe when you woke up. You heard a bunch of yelling coming from the room beside you.

You groggily got up, wanting to see what the new commotion was on about.

You don't even remember going to bed or even coming down from the roof. It was probably because you couldn't stop thinking about Jason.

When you got out of your room, you heard the yelling coming from Jason's room.

Whoever the fuck was in there was about to get a real beating from you.

But when you walked in, there he was. Jason stared out the closed window, and Rachel accussing him of drawing crosses all over her mirror.

What the fuck.

Your head was pounding, but all you were thinking was that you had a second chance. A second chance to save Jason. A second chance to convince everyone that he was innocent. A second chance.

So you stormed up to Rachel, shoving her away from Jason.

"What the fuck, Rachel, he didn't do shit!" You yekl at her.

"And how would you know?! You were gone for the mission all day, then went to sleep right after!" She argues back.

You roll your eyes. "Because Jason was in his room all week, dumbass!"

"Jesus, you're just kissing his ass! Just because you're friends, doesn't mean he's innocent!"

"You're one to talk," you scoff. "You're the one following Dick around like a lost puppy! He isn't even here! For all we know, Dick could be the one who drew crosses on your mirror!"

"You don't get to talk about Dick like that! After everything he's done for you!" Rachel's eyes turn red.

"Dick has done fuck all for me. It was Jason who gave me everything!-" Upon the mention of his name, you turn your head and noticed he was gone.

Shit.

"Move," you mutter, pushing Rachel out of your way, ignoring the confused looks from Hank, Dawn and Kory as they watch you run towards the stairs that lead to the top.

"Jason, no!" You screamed out, only to watch him already step off the ledge.

"NO!" You shrieked again, living the previous nightmare. You hear the footsteps of the others running up, and as they got to the top, you gasped for air, waking up once again.

You quickly got out of bed and ran to Jason's room before Rachel could even get in.

This time, Jason looks at you in worry upon seeing you in a cold sweat.

"You're okay, Jay. You're okay," you quietly whisper out if breath, particularly to yourself rather than Jason.

But then, when Rachel storms in, you immediately shout, "Out!", pointing back through the door. Rachel narrows her eyes and walks out.

Now that she's gone, she can't accuse Jason, you have your eyes on him, and he can't walk off.

But the quietness was quickly faded when Rachel walked back in with Hank, Dawn, Kory, and Donna. Rachel quickly told them how Jason supposedly drew the crucifixed, which escalated to pointing fingers AGAIN.

And with this many people in one bedroom at once, it was hard to keep an eye on Jason. But you knew where he would be.

But even as soon as you got to the top, he ws already gone.

You couldn't even scream. But your breath was still taken away when you woke up again.

You didn't care how many times it took. You would watch Jason jumo off again and again. You would give yourself a heart attack again and again. You would get your breath stolen from you again and again. You don't care. No matter what, as long as you have these chances, you will save Jason. He is your best friend- he is the love of your life. And you'd do everything you can to stop him from jumping.

But this was attempt 57 to try and stop him. And you were running out of energy. Even though the day restarted, your vitality didn't.

And each time you woke up with short breaths, the longer it took for you to run up the stairs up to the roof.

Why isn't anything working. You tried to stop him from talking to Rachel, you tried to hold him back, you tried talking to him.

But what if he does stay? What if he doesn't jump? What if you do succeed?

Will the day continue? Will the day restart?

You were getting tired. You were getting tired of trying to shut everyone up, tired of trying to holding back Jason. You were tired of watching him kill himself.

Maybe this was your fault. You should've seen the signs sooner. You should've talked to him more.

Maybe he needed more. Maybe he needed more than you. Maybe you weren't enough. Maybe your friendship, your love wasn't enough.

You can't take it anymore.

You promised Jason that you'd be hy his side no matter what.

So you walk out of your room, the echoes of Rachel's yelling coming from Jason's room. But you don't walk there. You walk past the lobby, hearing Dawn ask where you were going. But you ignore her.

You walk to the stairs, heading up.

You didn't even give it a second thought. You walk off the ledge, knowing that you'd wait at the bottom for Jason. Because you can't even imagine a life without him.

When you woke up, it was different. Your breathing was even. Granted, you were still pissed off that dying didn't break the loop.

But there was no yelling. You couldn't hear Rachel's voice. When you walked out of the room and looked into Jason's, it was empty.

That's not right. It's too soon.

When you walked out of the lobby, you saw everyone standing around, huddled together in the middle of a discussion. But once they notice you, their eyes are full of sadness and worry.

"Y/n, I- I'm so sorry," Rachel speaks up first. Your eyebrows pinch together.

You look at your watch. Jason would've gone up by now. But he wasn't. He was standing with the others, looking at you with sadness and... and anger?

"What are you..."

"We know about... about the time loops," Dick says. "We don't know what caused it or why you were the only one aware of it during those times, but... It seems you've broken the loop with.. With your fall."

"And because you were the only one aware, and you took the fall instead of Jason... it must've cut off the loop," Rachel further explains. "But now it also made us remember all those times we had to relive the day."

"All 57 times.." Hank muttered.

You sucked in a breath. "I- I just-" You stammered, barely able to make a sentence.

But Jason walked up towards you, grabbed your wrist, and pulled you towards his room for privacy. Dick was about to follow suit, but Hank grabbed him by the shoulder and shook his head, silently telling him to leave the two of you alone.

"What the fuck, Y/n?!" Jason says once he locks the door behind you.

"Why are you yelling at me!" You bite back, still tired from the events.

"Why- why didn't you tell me you were reliving this situation, a horrible situation!"

You rolled your eyes. "Obviously I would, but there wasn't time! There was always a fixed time that you disappeared, ended up on the roof, and jumped! And with every attempt, the more tired I got, and the more late I was to get to you!"

"So you killed yourself?!"

"I just couldn't watch you die anymore, Jason!" Jason finally shut up. "And I knew I couldn't live without you either! 57 times I relived the day, 57 times I tried to save you, 57 times I failed, 57 times I watched you die! And I promised I'd always be by your side! That doesn't change, even with this!" Like the first time you watched Jason stand on the ledge, the same salty tears rolled down your face, Jason's eyes doing the same thing.

"That's- That's so stupid! I'm not someone to give up your life over! I'm not worth it!"

"You're worth it to me! Every day, I only wake up because I know you're gonna be there to annoy the hell out of me! I only wake up every day knowing I'm going to spend time with you! My life has no purpose without you!"

"Why?!" Jason raises his voice. "I'm a nobody! I'm an asshole! You're life is worth so much more than mine! Why would you only live for me?!"

"Because I love you, Jay!"

The two of you become quiet, staring at each other, waiting to see who was brave enough to confirm what kind of love you were talking about.

"Jason..." You whisper. "You are literally the best thing that has happened to me. Watching you step off so many times, knowing that I was becoming more and more useless to try to stop you, I felt like I wasn't enough for you to stay. So.. I just thought that if you jumping off that roof was inevitable... then I might as well join you.. Because I genuinely cannot live without you."

You could barely look him in the eye. You couldn't tell what he was thinking.

Your breath hitched when his arms wrapped around you. You felt his lips linger on the crown of your head.

"'m sorry, mama," he mumbled into your hair. Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him closer. "Didn't mean to make you go through all that. Didn't mean to think that you weren't enough."

He loosens his grip around you, hands shifting to hold each side of your face as his calloused thumbs gently caress your wet cheeks.

"I love you too," he gently kisses your forhead. "And you are more than enough for me," he kisses your nose, making you let you a faint giggle and a slight crack of a smile. "You are everything to me." He places a quick but loving kiss against your lips. "I'm sorry I tried to leave you. I'm sorry I didn't stay."

"Will you stay now with me?" You ask, looking up at him.

"Of course I will, babe," he lowly says, pulling you in for another warm and safe embrace. "Now come on. Let's get you some proper sleep where you wake up tomorrow morning, okay?"

You hummed in response, ending the day in now screams or shrieks. Just quick pecks here and there, cuddled against Jason's warmth in his bed and wrapped in his blankets.

Eventually, you were going to talk to him about finding him some professional help, but that would be a talk and a probable argument for later.

Right now, you just need to bask in each other's love and warmth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

holy guac!!! that was long.

Hoped you enjoyed anon!!! 🫶🫶

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