darlinghuney

[darlinghuney]

This is how I originally wrote it. One of those that starts as a poem and then begs to be a song. I posted a fragment of this on tumblr a while back, but here’s the initial piece in its entirety 🤍

[darlinghuney]

☆ lonely is the muse ☆

[darlinghuney]

Kees van Dongen -   La femme aux chats (1912)

[darlinghuney]

Blessed Monday witchess

[darlinghuney]

[darlinghuney]

“A couple bodies in the garden where the grass grows

I take ‘em with me to the grace in a suitcase

Maybe I could be a different human in a new place”

The altered timeline of my life has a lot to do with when people *find out* rather than when it *happened*. Sometimes it’s weeks or months later, from a “source” against my desire. Sometimes it’s a year or a few, in a song that will get decoded or I will explain. I’ve retreated into privacy for my own peace of mind, but the strange side effect is the public parallel timeline happening by my side. The animated corpse of past-me (dressed as present-me) doing and feeling and saying things quite some time after I’ve already lived them. I’m on a leash and they’re interpretive dancing through an adapted-for-TV version of it all. Weird. Not bad. Not good, really. Just…weird?

[darlinghuney]

(i’m so sorry i’ve been down BAD for j*ke since the last show omg)

DOING SO AWFUL

[darlinghuney]

"There is just one person inside my head. One person I can't stop thinking about. It's you." - "Testone", 2016 by Andrea Salvatori

[darlinghuney]

needed this more than they will ever know❤️

I mean. Yeah. being thrust into this insane world / business at 18 irrevocably altered my brain chemistry. but I gotta say, I wake up everyday and make a coffee and sit with my son while we have breakfast and I think to myself “you made it out relatively unscathed to this point, kid.” and for that I am grateful beyond measure. all it took was the exhaustion of waking up and self evaluating on a microscopic level for the past 5 years (which nearly killed me) BUT. I’m here. And I have kept it pretty much together (best as I can) as of recent. which is more than 18 year old me would have ever given herself the faith to bet on. Growth and pain and peace on the horizon. You got this.

[darlinghuney]

tell me where it hurts, oil and gesso on canvas, 48x36, 2022

[darlinghuney]

[darlinghuney]

I’m my own biggest enemy,

yeah all my empathy’s a disaster.

Alanis Morissette, Sorry to Myself/Haruki Murakami,1084

[darlinghuney]

I’ve been on my knees since I was 5.

In the chapel,

in a bedroom,

in an alley late at night.

Always facing an inflated

godlike

version of some guy.

But as a girl you do what you need to survive.

You open wider, take the body.

Thank your father, you’ve been naughty.

2 Hail Marys, 20 lashings.

“I’ve been sent to punish you for daring to exist.

You will never know a love as meaningful as this.”

I’ve memorized

the lines

since I was 10.

From the Bible,

from the playbook,

from the magazines for men.

If you should mess it up, you’ll start again.

But, still, they only want

the women

they condemn.

I think that I’d have too much fun in hell.

With the pagans

and the hedonists

and sapphics there as well.

Purgatory seems the better fit

I can’t stand waiting in the corner,

but I do love being hit.

There’s not a torture you can prescribe

that I wouldn’t find

a way to like.

Every single second I’m alive

I’m sharpening an axe I’d like to grind.

“I was sent to punish you

for the way I was designed.

You will never know a love

that you fear more than mine.”

- “God Fear a Woman” 2023

[darlinghuney]

[darlinghuney]

Artist: Sam Wolfe Connelly

[darlinghuney]

Love should catch like food in the teeth.

(I’m once again trying to find the text post that Inspired this)

[darlinghuney]

“Tired, my love, so fuckn’ tired”..