databoy - Tumblr blog

[databoy]

in defense of reality

these emotions show me the glaring divide the need for coregulation that exist for us both (comfort the inner child) I am available for your needs but not my own.

I can also see the discrepancy We held up a mask for each other, to see. I thought I could see through it But I shared as much of this delusion

Shine a light on my heart, I see my self The shadows, the longing, the prison of my judgemental hell I allowed myself to get completely swept away And I know you did too, and now we both feel betrayed

I tried to push you towards a future you were never ready for We both weren't ready. I should have seen the signs.

I deemed the world too scary, I closed off my mind I came to be with you but could never find you I gave you all the hope I had Tried to rescue you but drowned myself

I wanted to share with you my world But I first needed to do my self work And I needed you to show me that.

[databoy]

pursuing the avoidant heart

I had to stop pretending this is real This illusion cost me the perspective to rebuild

Can I trust in my discernment When it causes this much confusion I thought I could see all the signs but you Chose so carefully what I can and cannot see

I trusted in my heart but tripped up I also chose not to see - I couldn't hear reality in the silence you had built to keep yourself safe

I never took the time to question anything - all the answers I just never received I just kept running towards you - projecting my own needs And somewhere in that, I left you behind I just kept running - I will take the lead But you had already turned inwards; to hurt, to heal, to grieve

I came into your life like a whirlwind You told me this is what you wanted but now I just don't know

You were not ready yet, to grow I was too absorbed in my trauma to know

I gave up comfort and safety and took a leap of love But I never quite made it to the other side Misattunement, maladjustment - a yearn for your touch A lack of boundaries creates unsafety, a lack of compromise

And it brought us to here My inner child shaking with fear An activated nervous system cannot unwind I missed all the obvious signs And so it broke me Ever so slowly

You busied yourself on the ritual of letting go We never had that conversation - how was I to know That I had lost you before you were gone Is it cathartic to accept I was wrong I wanted this so viscerally for so long It was too hard to admit I didn't belong (here)

As I process my attachments I see this trauma as mine I had hoped that you would Reach out to me in time But if there's anything I learnt from this We can't rush the healing of our self Some are frustratedly impatient Some are not ready for help

With the repatterning of trauma comes a shift in perspective I am ready to accept my mistakes Rescuing others was never part of my journey Somehow I was convinced that's what it takes

And over and over, I couldn't reach you Instead of stepping back, I insistently pushed through I tried to build us a life that we both never wanted And somehow I thought all of this was for you.

[databoy]

this comic brought to you by my bachelors degree in linguistics

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She flowered. #lithop #loveblooms

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Me duele la cabeza

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Dolly Parton has mostly kept quiet about her obviously-leftish political views for decades so as to avoid alienating country audiences, which makes it all the funnier that her sister’s entire Twitter presence is just stuff like

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i think it'd be really funny if the headless horseman was just a ghost who left his head at home one day and when everyone started making up stories about the terrifying decapitated rider they encountered on the road he was too embarrassed to say he actually forgot to put his head on that morning and just decided to roll with it

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the euphoria of elliot page (esquire)

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this is like just a fourth of a whole musical medley addressing that you can’t live like the simpsons anymore. harsh :(

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Artist: Kazuo Kamimura

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Politics is actually like…one of the top reasons to cut someone out of your life? Where the fuck did we get this idea it’s an invalid reason to abandon people? It’s literally your statement on how you think society should exist and what rights you think people should have and how. It ain’t fucking “My uncle Craig’s dead to me because he takes his sandwiches with the crust on” it’s “My uncle Craig has consistently stated a hatred of minorities and poor people for longer than I’ve been alive, of course I’m gonna call him a piece of shit”

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He put a goddamn light in the chocolate lighthouse!!!!

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Pimped out my shirt for Pride

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(via meanboysclub)

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ENFP: wanna see me wearing what I bought at the clothing store?

INTP: yes!

ENFP, wishing for a spicy convo: but I want you to... Elaborate your reply, if you know what I mean.

INTP: challenge accepted.

ENFP: *sends pic*

INTP: I am simply astounded, I would have never thought that such beauty and sensuality could be concentrated in one person and in one moment. Gorgeousness of that kind is only comparable to that of a deity and is, therefore, unattainable by mere mortals.

ENFP: that was, in fact, not what I meant. But it was better.

[databoy]

friendly fucking reminder that a curved sword has greater cutting power because the force of the swing is distributed across a smaller impact area. a straight sword is better for thrusting

[databoy]