datgurlnextdoor

[datgurlnextdoor]

"New Yorkers bite more people than sharks annually" is an excellent example of how statistics can be misleading. Like yeah no shit, do you have any idea how rare it is to even encounter a shark in the wild? They're not exactly urban animals. I'm pretty damn sure that if sharks were living in big cities like pigeons, just strolling down the streets looking for food scraps, you'd see a lot more news stories about New Yorkers biting them.

[datgurlnextdoor]

I don't think men saying out of pocket shit to me on the internet is because they're men. everyday billions of men wake up and don't say out of pocket shit to me on the internet. this is clearly an active choice

[datgurlnextdoor]

White girls need to drop the AAVE and bring back "AS IF!!! 😒" and "GET IT TOGETHER" like y'all were eating in the 2000s!

[datgurlnextdoor]

They removed bisexuals from the stonewall monument website. How long until the website is just “stonewall is something that happened. I guess” because they cut every group out.

[datgurlnextdoor]

"this animal can be wiped out completely with no consequences" yeah, they said that about wolves too

[datgurlnextdoor]

[datgurlnextdoor]

@inneskeeper this seems relevant to your interests

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! SHE DOIBLES DOWN!

[datgurlnextdoor]

[datgurlnextdoor]

[datgurlnextdoor]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[datgurlnextdoor]

Extremely funny when people leave nitpicky or passive aggressive comments on my 10 year old fics. Baby, the depressed high schooler that wrote this fic is dead and buried. You're negging a ghost right now.

[datgurlnextdoor]

[datgurlnextdoor]

This was an interesting read. Surprisingly nonpreachy given the subject; and well worth the time.

[datgurlnextdoor]

It's funny how american guys who got "73% Scandinavian" in a mail order DNA test once will be like "I have Viking blood coursing through my veins, I'm a natural-born warrior and I've got +5 poison resistance and I'm immune to frost damage", while the average Norwegian guy is just some guy named Lars who works in IT, rides a bicycle to work, and looks like this.

[datgurlnextdoor]

Source

[datgurlnextdoor]

aha! you may have mistaken my statement of "women belong in the kitchen" as misogynistic, but you see, i think being in the kitchen is a good thing. women's innate desire to make sandwiches is a positive trait, and we all know if it's positive it doesn't count as a stereotype. i'm very smart and i know what feminism is.