datjellybarbs - Tumblr blog

[datjellybarbs]

Line

A forgotten path that we once thread while holding each others warmth hands, a sudden interruption that fall fast due to momentum of wrong choices fueled by irrational conclusions.

A once collided path become estrange, hence become abandoned path; a risky road where both of us doesn't want to cross anymore.

But, what will happen if theres a thread of invisible lines that lead your way back to me? Will you walk the line? Even though I got nothing.

I hope you not, because we all know that even though this thread will give us hope on the forgotten world that we abandon, we still created memories that will linger until the day we die.

A cherished memory that will be etched to our mind; a better version of us where we see what's wrong and needed to be gone while bringing the only positive attributes that we got to each others embrace.

Maybe it is bittersweet to end things, but what's learning without losing? What's winning without suffering? What's the point of living if you won't pick yourself up, and what's you when you can't see yourself in the mirror?

A story never ends because it was closed, a story ends if the author wishes to.

[datjellybarbs]

ultimatum

a word of a certain person may differ if he/she holds nothing significant to a worldview; if it doesn't come out on a historic figure. but a final say is still a pledged that was utter to become the stipulation of one's life. A vengeance, romantic, or nonsense final word is still heavier than the first word that is declare to the world.

An ultimatum is a collection of wisdom and knowledge that may distinct one person to another, a wrongfully death may abrupt its sentence but it will echo throughout the person who got that interruption in becoming a justice that will seek and seep throughout the skirt of the whole world.

My final words might be nonsense due to my voice cracking up, or the failure to speak out one ounce of words without any reasons, but I want those who loved me feel that I became a significant person to them, not to the whole world, just because I was nobody doesn't mean that my death will be forgotten.

If I may utter my final words today, I don't want to say it just because I'll die today, but because it will also mean that I have given up living even though my presence is still in this forsaken land.

[datjellybarbs]

Progress is progress

As stated above, progress is still progress regarding on whether you take a step back whenever you take a step on the pedestal, right? It can still be called moving whether you take a step for a day or whenever you want as long as you do something.

There's no wrong getting left behind, but was it really okay? You want to be with them as much as you can but what if doing so, you got lost in the way? What happens to you?

So take a breath and take your time

[datjellybarbs]

Kabilang Ibayo

ikaw ay isang natatatanging nilalang na hindi ko ma abot—abot sa kadahilananang ikaw ay mahirap hagilapin. sa tuwing tayo'y nagtatagpo, tila eto na ang huling pag sasama natin, tila ba hindi matapos tapos ang araw kapag ikaw ang nasa piling, ngunit bakit ang ating nadarama sa isa't isa ay hindi kasing klaro nang tubig?

Sa kadahilanan bang ako'y hindi umaamin o sa aking mga hindi pag diretso nang aking nararamdaman na nag dudulot nang hindi pag kakaunawaan, o sad'yang ako lang ang nakakaramdam ng ganito sa ating dalawa?

Kasing gulo netong sinulat ko ang nadarama ko para sayo, at hindi ko maunawaan kung ako ba'y nahihibang lang o tuluyan nang nahulog sa iyong pagkatao.

[datjellybarbs]

Sunshine

you're like a spring sunshine; A warm person where I want to cherish the most, because of how radiant you shine. you're mere presence heal me from my exhaustion due to how you bring you're bubbly nature to your surroundings, that you can cleanse away my tiredness by being you.

It's like looking at a child that doesn't know what's a sad emotion is, you only radiate aura that only includes happiness, which is sticking to me like a hot glue.

I hope that you won't lose your sunshine, and I hope I can be the one who you look up to as a spring sunshine to your world

[datjellybarbs]

1+0

Will it be a miracle if this 1 become 2 by being with you? maybe through adversities and non-stop pursuit of your love that it will bloom into something more, something exquisite. an everlasting; magnificent bond that will make my day more contented than a day without a cone of ice cream on a hot sunny day.

Maybe I didn't caught your attention yet due to my lacking presence when I see you thru the serene warm breeze of summer, your existence itself is blinding that reaching out to be with you feels like icarus. But what can I do, I'm trying my best to be seen by you.

A goddess that is perfected by your imperfections, a being that maybe one of a kind that cannot be found throughout this whole universe anymore.

[datjellybarbs]

Everlasting dream

I dreamt of you last night. Out of all my dreams, yours is my favorite. Why? I guess you make me smile more than the others, care about me more than I can care myself."Believe in me that believes in you" this quote resembles you the most. Not giving up on people just because.

My dreams might be nonsense all the time but when I'm with you on this dreamland, god forbid that it became meaningful even if its a daydream that might not come true. They might say that I am a certified delusional but how can I refute when that delusion of mine is caused by you? How could I?

Will I still be able to see you in a distant dream? it will still give me butterflies or it will punch me in a gut when we met again in those dream of mine?

[datjellybarbs]

"all I can do is think about what I could've done wrong, but what I did is all I am."

It really hit hard if you think about it, everyday we're learning new things to kept ourselves updated to be the best of our self, but why is it always the opposite?

Is it because there is someone that is in the mix? that we thought that it will be the best for the course of action, but by not considering the others feeling, it become the opposite on what's suppose to happen?

I guess even the best isn't enough if you've done everything is the thing that you can give, I guess being you, yourself isn't enough if the other doesn't acknowledge it.

[datjellybarbs]

lost

can't find myself throughout this thoughts.

the thoughts keep haunting me that I helplessly got drowned by my own sorrow which I cannot even escape.

The despair is weirdly familiar that I embraced it fully, not knowing that it will become a void to my mixed emotions which I cannot fathom from the start.

What am I supposed to do? should I feel something just to feel that I belong? or am I not needed?

Why do I want social interactions yet, when it comes to me naturally, I want to be isolated just because I feel like it?

I feel that I'm drifting away to my true self by being myself, like the image that I am building isn't me even though it was my ideal self.

Like, why? Is it normal to fade away as I drift to my isolation where I don't even know when will it end?

[datjellybarbs]

Summer passed, winter blooms

Spending time with you is a hobby that I hope will never end. But as summer passed, the connections that we have will also be gone before the winter comes.

It really do come and go, no matter how you hold it tightly, it will still find a way to slither away from your grasp, and I guess this is it. As winter slowly approach, we will forget the graceful things that we did during the summer. Not forget per se but more on, we move onto things that will keep us busy, and once the new summer come, a new same routine will happen but with different people.

I guess I can't be stuck in summer, where everything feels dreamy, I think winter have benefits not because it is cold, but it is also one of few times where we spend our time.

"summer may pass, and winter may bloom unexpectedly, but I guess I just want to reminisce the time I spent with you throughout the summer days that we had"

[datjellybarbs]

F

From everything that you know, some of it might be fabricated by your mind to be in your utmost favor. Those every scenario where you're the hero, might be not in someones perspective. We sometimes tend to bias our stories and condition our mind on what might be the opposite on what actually happen.

Feeling betrayed that we did bad, that our expectations to ourselves stoop so low that we cannot find the ground. We think that "maybe if I think it this way, I'll forget the truth and it will be buried by the lies that I've created" which happens all the time.

For someone, it became a coping mechanism, but at the end of the day, by doing that, we forget on what we truly are. Forever lost in our lies that we told to ourselves that we are the good guys.

[datjellybarbs]

Silence

Through this never-ending noise in our surroundings, I learn to keep my peace in a silent environment where only my breathing can be heard, where the only white noise are loud, and only you, yourself is the factor.

The silent that isolates you brings tranquil to your never ending turmoil that you experience throughout your whole day, dedicating a minute or two makes it so that you give yourself a break to the exhausting life that we tackle everyday.

But with you, this silence that I revere doesn't break but become enchanted with the solemn aura that you bring and show towards me.

"The lone silent became a paradise that does not bring noise"

[datjellybarbs]

Dawn

We forgo that when noon has arrived, we always reminisce on what might happen when dawn arrives, does dawn is better than noon where everything seems busy while dawn bustling down the happening and conclude the day where everything become end.

But have we thought that when dawn arrives, we always thought about the conclusions, not the procedure? That maybe, what happen is better than the conclusion?

I don't know. As the dawn implies, it ends the day w ur interpretation on what happen.

All I want to say is,

Maybe we are not meant to be in the first place.

Maybe we are just meant to be as strangers .

[datjellybarbs]

Icarus

I don't know the whole premise of icarus story, all I know is that he flew close to the sun and lost the privilege to fly due to his wings getting burned like its nothing. I don't know why would he fly too close to the sun, what motivates him to do, or what makes he think that its a good idea.

But I get the gist of it, maybe he became too arrogant, or maybe there's a reason behind it that we don't even know.

and that's the thing, we don't want to be icarus, we don't want to be that gullible by not knowing our limits, but how do we know our limits if we don't test it to the maximum? how would you know that you can survive a nuclear bomb without taking one? I'm just kidding, no one can survive a nuclear bomb point blank, unless?

Everyday in our life, there will be some kind of glimpse in our brain that will remind us of icarus, or some metaphor close to icarus. Eating a 10 hotdog sandwich, or running in a puddle thinking that we won't get splashed back by it. or in some cases, love that we thought we can have.

What if the girl/boy is not inlove with you? not sharing the same sentiment, but you on the other hand think that you have both mutual feelings?

Will you take the path that icarus does when he make the decision to fly near the sun, or you won't limit test to see it?

[datjellybarbs]

I hope by the time this message come out,

there is somewhat progress to us,

a significant steps that will dictate on what state we are with each other .

[datjellybarbs]

Pulled strings

Love blooms beautifully with friendship at its main core does it? I mean if you love the person or you pique an interest on it, you tend to know it first before betting all your fortune for it to work. But what if you're scared to take that step? what will happen? I don't know.

I mean, there's a gal that's so charming that she felt like a black hole that sucks other attention towards her; charismatic, intelligent, vocab genius, name it all. She's all there is, so what am I supposed to do when she pulls me like a string?

Everyday that blesses me, I wait for her chats and her appearances. I feel like a thirst man stuck in an oasis, I can't get enough of her even though I talk to her every time I got the chance.

But, is it bad that I fell for her? is it my fault that she knows what makes me smile or what makes me giggle with her little silly jokes.

She became the sun to my universe where I only revolve around her, it is that bad type of love that I experience everyday, is it okay to be sucked or I needed to get out of this system due to my insistent of rejecting to admit my feelings towards her? I'm kind of scared to lose it all by confessing, but at the same time, I'm fine to be in this friendship relationship in a mean time.

I guess for now, I'll be in my fever dream where when I wake up, I became this little goof ball who loves her without her knowing it .

[datjellybarbs]

Waiting

Staring at my coffee in a cozy place at this outdoor coffee shop, minding my own business, sipping coffee that I order. A comfort place for me due to its quiet environment, and a place to sit in as the bustling city never stops.

Waiting for something to happen that will break this habit, and then I get a glimpse of you far away. Same as me, drinking the coffee quietly as you pan over to the people walking by to get to their destination.

It seems you're waiting for someone, the one who will feel the void, maybe I'm just creating a scenario for the both of us.

And then it hits, I saw you glancing at me,

You smile.

And after that day, I chase those smile of your lips that breaks my silence and gave me one hell of a headache that only you can solve .