dauntlessvampierkitty

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

I am very unhappy with my life and it is hard to want to live but it is harder to actually kill myself because of fear. I do not know what death feels like and i do not want to regret it after. I feel stuck.

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

i‘m so fucking broken, i have no idea how to deal with myself anymore. everything hurts. my eyes are burning from all the tears i’ve shed, my skin is covered in wounds, i keep ripping out my hair and beating myself up out of frustration and anger. my memories haunt me and i’ve been trying to drown my sorrows in alcohol way too many nights. i’m literally falling apart, i can‘t hold myself together anymore and i‘m so tired of acting like i‘m okay. who the fuck am i kidding, nothing was-, is- or will ever be "okay". it hurts and hurts and never stops hurting

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

I feel so gross and unlovable I just want to die.

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

“I am fucking tired of staying up late and thinking about everything I have ever done wrong, and how much everything hurts.”

— late night thoughts

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

im sick of positive reassurances. im sick of being told “it will get better” and “stay hopeful”. im tired of hearing “your family loves you”, “heres the national suicide hotline”. im so fucking tired of it. just let me feel this way. let me feel empty and upset and tired and hopeless. let me believe im worthless and disgusting and a bad person. i dont need to be reassured that im not, i just need someone to be there for me, as a hand to hold, as i deal with this by myself. i dont need “good samaritans”, i dont need generic positivity quotes, i just need to know theres someone i can rely on, someone in my corner who is supporting me without ever saying a word about it. being there for someone who wants and needs it helps a lot more than a suicide call service.

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

yes.

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

Meirl

[dauntlessvampierkitty]

Everyday