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*tips fedora at mosquito* m’laria
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call the police immediately
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my boss: *giving me critical instructions* you got that?
me: ya
me (in my mind): you make a loop de loop and pull, and your shoes are looking cool :) you go over and back, left to righ
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My school’s financial aid office is literally telling us to stop eating lunch so we can pay for our education.
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When you have to hold down the power button to turn off a device
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video games are a wonderful escape from reality until you see your reflection in the loading screen
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me: immune system why do i have a fever
immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!
me:
immune system:
me:
immune system:
me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long
immune system:
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