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“The Disciplined Pursuit of Less”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsFefdPhL3w&t=70s
My mom always asked me growing up, do you NEED it? While I found that so seemingly extra, this phrase, at the intersection of this journey towards loving God, has recently reigned both true and relevant. However, it’s become less of “do you need it?” and more of, “does it really satisfy?”
Super hard... but here’s to that disciplined pursuit! Whether that be in material goods, affirmations, meetups in ministry. More is not always the answer! But God is, and that’s something I can bank on. His presence.
--
“It’s the trivial many vs. the vital few. And I think it’s not just one more thing to figure out what those vital few things are, it is the work of life. Figure out what they are, eliminate what they aren’t, and build a system that protects and enables you to pursue what you have set as most important.”
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To love the Lord with all my heart, and with all my soul, and with all my mind.
To love people.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdJz_mB1f_I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTegYSAu6-c
__
I don’t want it if You’re not in it. This heart of King David, Psalm 27:4. I know that I’ve already written a couple of short posts on this, but how important.
Very specifically, I’ve been learning this is the crux of my sin, my addiction, and the vain pursuit of desire, longing, and yearning that does not involve nor is centered around God. As mentioned, it is vain. There’s nothing there! It doesn’t satisfy.
God I just want You, to sit at Your feet, to know You Lord. I declare that only You satisfy. Take me deeper.
“I’ve searched the world and still I find, only You, satisfy.”
Intimacy in longing.
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“All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves.”
Blaise Pascal
In 2 Corinthians 3, Paul is talking about Moses and the Ten Commandments and how they came in glory:
“But if the ministry of death, in letters engraved on stones, came with glory, so that the sons of Israel could not look intently at the face of Moses because of the glory of his face, fading as it was, how will the ministry of the Spirit fail to be even more with glory? For if the ministry of condemnation has glory, much more does the ministry of righteousness abound in glory. For indeed what had glory, in this case has no glory because of the glory that surpasses it.”
2 Corinthians 3:7-10
There it is. Glory-surpassing glory.
Then there’s Matthew 13:44, the man with the treasure in the field. Why did he sell everything? Why did he get all “radical”? Because he felt obligated? Because some red-faced preacher told him to? No. He did it because when he looked at the field, he didn’t see a bunch of dirt and grass. He saw a treasure.
And here again:
But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18
How does this verse tell us we are transformed? By having perfect church attendance? By gritting our teeth and doing better? Tithing 11 percent? No.
We are changed when we see glory-within. We are transformed when we see the radiance of God.
I could never seem to shake the porn addiction. I had the accountability, the computer software, everything but real victory. As much as I wanted to stop, I couldn’t. The idol just seemed to jump right back on the throne. But then I got some advice from a mentor friend of mine.
He said to me, “Matt, I know you’ve been fighting, but have you been looking?”
Huh?
What he meant was had I really been spending time with Jesus? In the hustle and bustle of life, I hadn’t.
And so I did. I really did.
I began just soaking in the Bible every morning. I woke up and just looked at Jesus. And it didn’t happen overnight, but slowly, something began happening. I started tasting freedom. I began changing.
I met Glory.
--
Idols replacing other idols, breaking the heart of their worshiper. An endless cycle of despair.
Real Christianity shows us a glory so great that it effortlessly eclipses all other would-be glories, and a God so ineffable that He can forever satisfy us, enthrall us, and ultimately, change us.
Look and Live - Matt Papa
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“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
One thing I ask. I don’t want to be anymore Lord, may I seek your presence in everything, because it is the only thing that will satisfy.
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Did you know that there are anywhere from 100-400 million GALAXIES that exist? No, not planets, not solar systems (I asked my mom if solar systems and galaxies are the same things LMAO), but GALAXIES!! I only have 2 hands bruh!!
In all seriousness, Lord. I am marveling. If little intricacies, life’s simple things, and big facts like these don’t point to Your existence and the fact that there is a perfect Author and Creator, I don’t know what does. What else could this point to?
“We can look at the blazing stars, the mountain ranges, the untamed oceans, and the bizarre animals and know that there must be Someone who did all this, and if He did, He would be eternal. He would be powerful. He would be wise. He would be sovereign.”
-Matt Papa
In all seriousness, as I learn more about who You are and how vast Your glory is, what else could I live for? What better thing could I live for than Your bigness and Your Glory God? What other cause?
This also doesn’t mean just doing things for You. Meetups, ministry, yada, yada. Living for God’s Glory means that He is the treasure of Your heart, the hidden treasure in the field, that you sell everything for. Our everything.
This is the God that calls, and the One who calls perfectly. I’ve been thinking about that a lot these days. To be honest, after the clout subsides (I doubt TC clout is even real), this hasn’t been the most glamorous of seasons. But like Moses in Exodus 33, God, I want to chase your presence, NOTHING ELSE! BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE WILL DO OR BRING FULLNESS OF LIFE OR JOY. BUT. YOU. Even in taking that step of faith, of leaving Ann Arbor, looking to the future, it is undeniable that while there is fear, there is SOME form of excitement. But Lord, I want to follow you into even the drab. The mundane. The everyday if that’s where You are. The insecurity. The singleness. May I be bold enough to say the everything that sucks and the everywhere I don’t want to be if you’re there. BECAUSE YOU’RE THE DIFFERENCE MAKER, LIFE GIVER, MEANING SHAPER. WOOOOHOOOO. Okay i’m trying I guarantee I’ll complain soon but good lessons, thanks God!
May I continuously grow to love you evermore.
(this one was def more raw, hella late at night)
Psalm 16:2
I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.”
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1ISxFL5R_Q
This post is going to be everywhere, scattered thoughts especially when re-reading it. And that’s okay! Just... a disclaimer. LOL. This journal really captures the up and downs of loving God, myself, and people
I wanted to tell you (well... i guess this is to myself)
(maybe this is the best way to do this?)
Dear David,
Loving God, and loving yourself is a battle. It’s a fight, that will feel victoriously on some, and painfully low on others. I think today for us was one of the latter. Whatever we did today, we just couldn’t shake the feeling. Disposable. Useless. Worthless. Can’t do anything right. And the worst part, sometimes it just happens, and it feels so accurate, so true, and of course, so heavy. Like a shadow that followed us everywhere.
Why can’t I be normal? Why can’t I love myself? Why do I have to be this way?
Here are some truths that helped me today, I hope they help you whenever you feel this way and you turn to this:
1) His yoke is easy (you aren’t fighting alone) - It’s so hard. And felt so heavy, but the whole time I was praying and just crying, confused, and tired, I knew I was doing so in the presence of God, and I hope you can too. This is why the yoke is easy, imagine if I didn’t have that. God is not an additional weight, nor is prayer a burden. But this place is POWERFUL. This place is where my heart is changed, where I can meet my lover, find the meanings of life, find hope and peace and love and be filled to pour out wherever I am sent. This is where I fight battles.
2) You are, because He is (masterpiece, because He says so) - the voice of the world, the voice of the enemy, and even in the voice in your head, is not permitted to be superior to His. HE says that we are His handiwork. You remember that phrase, “Oh, He has his daddy’s eyes? Nose?” Whatever it is... You are fighting and have goodness in you because He is good. You fight to love the people around You, and fight with hope, love, and life, because He and His very being capture all of those things.
3) God is glorious (Holy, full of Glory) - MIGHTY. You know... this used to never really get to me. “ehhhhhhhh” but after the Bible study at LIFE group and this boook..... do you remember reading that there are 100 - 400 million existing universes? MILLION? UNIVERSES? NOT PLANETS. FULL ASS GALAXIES. like I only have 2 hands. The GOD who spoke these with a word, not even a whole breath, is here and with me. He fights for me. He is my strength.
You do not have to look and compare. Worry about every interaction, every response, every potential connection there is with the people around you. Your love and worth do not come from there, they come hand-in-hand with your existence, love and worth were literally implanted in our design. If they were to disappear, so would we. That’s how integral they are to us, that’s how deep they run in us.
We fight to move forward, and move forward well. Perseverance does not mean putting our heads down in sorrow and getting the job done. It means moving forward, and coming here, the secret place, as many times as it takes. It means finishing and running with God. Because this race isn’t worth finishing if God won’t be with us at the finish line.
GOD LOVES US SO DEARLY. GOD, YAHWEH, GOD, LOVES US. ME. YOU.
Hopefully one day I can say with all my heart,
Love,
David
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Read something... and I think it perfectly describes what I’ve been learning recently, so I wanted to share thoughts:
“And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayer. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.”
-Acts 2:42-47
Before all the great community living, giving, serving, and gratitude, the people were filled with awe deep in their souls. The things we do must be a byproduct of where we are, and we must be in love.
And awe can only fill our souls through the Holy Spirit, so seek God humbly, and ask boldly in intercession for others.
OOOOOOOOOOOH, and lastly when that awe hits, man o man there is no greater feeling. This is LIFE, this is HOPE, and JOY, real feelings that go beyond anything in this world. God is the one who gives meaning, even in the seasons where we have to fight for it.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDNqCLd-rwQ
SO MANY POSTS I JUST WANT TO REMEMBER LOL.
This song is really really beautiful...
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Reading the Psalms these days, I think King David comes to a similar conclusion, I really don’t need an answer to my questions. I need the One who Answers them, and His presence.
And something about Intimacy with the Lord is learned through his (and hopefully my?) process of seeking and searching. Something seems to click in his head, regardless of the answers to his specific prayers, some revelation about who he is praying to.
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Stuck in Life? Questioning? What is the meaning?
When will I not feel alone God?
When will I be okay with who you’ve made me to be?
When will I be able to love myself, and this season that you’ve made for me?
--
Since coming back from LA, I’ve had so many questions, and a lot of emptiness. Spending time with God has been good, but all times outside of that have kind of felt numb. Why do I do the things I do? What’s the point to them, to this all? Is it because I want to, or because my church has programmed me to?
How do I do things with a heart of love then?
How do I correctly fight?
How do I surrender myself and my insecurities to the Lord?
What does it feel like to know that you are fighting for me/with me?
--
I’m realizing more and more that Spring Break (being in LA, spending good time with friends, and seeing people that are so in love with God [well... hopefully they are, at least it seems like they are]) has brought me to a place of questioning, which actually, is really good!! I think, prior to spring break, I was just doing a lot of things to do them, lost in motions, stuck on autopilot.
And even though it’s hard right now, I don’t have a lot of will to fight, and I’m confused af on what to do moving forward, God loved and loves me way too much to have left me in that place.
So this is the wake up call!!1!
And I just wanted to share, for myself whenever I come back to this place of questioning, that I will always have a million face questions. (Encouraging, I know.) But the reality is these questions won’t go away. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t consciously ignore/avoid them, not seek for an answer, and just plow forward (actually, that’s what got me here in the first place)... but I think my heart needs to hear and remember that the answers to all these little face questions is not really what my heart is longing and searching for...
My heart searches for the Answer. The One who Answers those questions. To simply be in His presence, and love Him so dearly that all else fades away. I’ve been thinking about it... and it sounds mushy and gushy and romanticized... but shouldn’t it? This God, this Jesus, my God, I want Him to be my First Love and all I ever want, my one desire.
Lord would you fill me with meaning? My cup that has felt so empty these past couple of days, that I would desire more than ever in my life intimacy with You. I believe (or am really trying to believe) that You have brought me to this place of brokenness to re-calibrate my heart, remind me why we do things, and that it is all about YOU having my heart.
Do I realize I have THE LORD?
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“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.”
-Psalm 27:4
“I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer.
You are Yourself the Answer.
Before your face questions die away,
What other answer would suffice?”
-C.S. Lewis
To be with You, my God. I want to be with You. Even if it feels like none of my questions are being answered, I don’t know why and I don’t know when, I want to declare Your presence is enough. Teach me that! To be in your presence and to gaze upon Your Glory is the hope, joy, and life I will ever need.
... sigh, I don’t want to say it, but I’m realizing this place of brokenness is a beautiful place to be.
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Appreciating the Process (are we thoughts artsier because I’m in LA?)
I’m in LA, which side note is HELLLLLAA beautiful.
Anyways, left the airbnb early to find a cafe, spend time with God, and reflect. As I’m reflecting I’m finding a commonality, and realizing that I cannot trust the process, if I do not appreciate it first.
I find all my questions revolving around a child-in-the-car-like, “Are we there yet?” In so many ways, I just want to be at the end of the process, I want to be there. And instead of appreciating who I’m in the car with, honestly Lord, I’ve been really busy on the destination. Part of that comes from seeing what I lack, the other part of that comes from seeing what You’ve been doing, because you have been doing a lot, and that’s actually really crazy seeing.
What exactly is the process? And the destination?
Feel like for looking back purposes, it’s really important to answer this question- to keep it a little less abstract than trusting this mysterious “process.”
For me, the process means getting to the finished destination, work, and progress of what GOD has started.
Which... ironically & abstractly means a lot of different things LOL. Being secure and confident in myself to be able to talk to people without anxiety, having a girlfriend and being accepted by someone (which, reflecting on my desires for intimacy, relates to so many of the underlying motivations for pornography and masturbation), having a job (being able to provide for myself, being self-sufficient), healing in family, seeing brothers where they are so in love with God. Ya know??? These things that are clearly not where I am right now.
And for these things, whether good desires or bad (because some of these things actually aren’t wrong to want), actually aren’t what’s important.
Exodus 33
And that’s what we see! Reading Exodus 33, when the whole book revolves so much on the process and finding God’s presence in the midst of it.
“The LORD said to Moses, “Depart; go up from here, you and the people whom you have brought up out of the land of Egypt, to the land of which I swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give it.’ I will send an angel before you, and I will drive out the Canaanites, the Amorites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites.. Go up to a land flowing with mil and honey; but I will not go up among you, lest I consume you on the way, for you are a stiff-necked people.” (1-3)
Just what they wanted, right? To be at this place they had waited so long to be in. A place that’s sweet and has everything that they haven’t, for years, and God is giving them this cheat-code to skip there and go immediately, but O man Moses....
“And he said to him, ‘If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here.” (15)
Meditations
God... in the same way, I want to be okay with being where I am right now. Maybe I don’t have full confidence, security. Maybe I still have a lot of fear, things are still broken, my dad does not know you, my brothers still struggle and mess up (not saying I don’t lol), and all OF THESE DIFFERENT THINGS THAT for me, represent the land of milk and honey. “I just WISH I could be THERE!” Then things would be different.
But... I think the astonishing reality that you might be trying to teach me, that you were trying to teach the Israelites in the wildnerness, is the idea that it’s not about the destination, it’s not even about the process, it’s about your presence. And that is the greatest promise and process I can hold onto. I have YOU! God of the universe, God of everything, the God of my next breathe, who is by my side, whose love is sweeter than anything I have ever tasted, who knows when I rise and when I sit down, who loves me deeper than any family member, parent, or lover ever will...
And I pray O God genuinely that I would never forget that. So maybe we’re not there yet, but that’s okay. I can appreciate and trust the process because I appreciate and trust who is driving, who’s in the car with me.
With this God, I have no need. I have, actually, more than everything. Joy. Hope. Peace. LIFE. They key is remembering that, and of going deeper into that.
It’s not enough to stay there, and I think that’s a tangible step for me. There’s a difference between sitting in the car, waiting to get there with the people in it, and getting to know them, talking with them, laughing with them, acknowledging, appreciating, and absolutely loving their presence.
It’s a heart of David:
“But my eyes are toward you, O God, my Lord’ in you I seek refuge; leave me not defenseless!” (Psalm 141: 8)
AND reading on in Exodus 33, Moses’s words really reflect his heart, and what it wants. God is offering him this place and these things, but look at what Moses asks for instead:
“and the Lord would speak with Moses” (9)
“thus the LORD used to speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend.” (11)
“Please show be your Glory.” (18)
Because Moses knew... what mattered. Help me remember the same, and want these things Lord, there are so many parts of my heart that don’t. But I want to want them. I want to talk to You and hear You as Moses did, I want to seek Your face and intimacy like David did.
So maybe I’m not there yet Lord, but I’m excited for the ride, and acknowledge that Your presence is the promise, not the breakthrough I’ve been longing for. Help me remember!!!!!!!!
I just want more of You. Okay or to be more honest and accurate it’s I just want to want more of You, all else can wait.
These posts are getting cornier and cornier but who cares!!! No one reads them LOL except maybe Kyle
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Hope To Remember
“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?
My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time
forth and forevermore.”
-Psalm 121
Death could not hold you, the veil tore before you.
You silence the boast of sin and grave.
The heavens are roaring, the praise of your Glory.
For You are raised to life again.
You have no rival, you have no equal.
Now and forever, God, you reign.
Yours is the kingdom, Yours is the Glory.
Yours is the name above all names.
What a wonderful name it is,
The name of Jesus Christ, my King.
--
The one who invites us into wonder, awe, relationship.
How does such a King call me friend? Know my name? Love me?
All hail King Jesus. What a friend I’ve found.
Help fix my eyes, running the race w/ perseverance, gaze fixed, madly in love.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deCLjuwi-VI
“You’ll never let us go, and that’s reason enough to hope.”
Your presence, changes everything.
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Surrender in the Silence
Where are you? What am I supposed to do?
A lot of things have gotten harder since, and tonight I’m kinda just sitting here in my kitchen, overwhelmed, asking these two questions.
What am I supposed to do? I... for the first time don’t know.
I think there’s beauty in that, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating. I am grateful though! For the first time, I’m not playing loud worship music, or singing my head off. Great things with the right heart, and, at other times, empty words, meant to praise the Lord, used as pathways to escape from the hardship and struggle of circumstance.
So, there’s a beauty in this moment. Of the stillness. It hurts, oh ya it hurts... but there is surrender in this moment of stillness. Things are hard, I have no guarantee they’re going to get any better. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to get out of it, nor make things better, and they might not. The only thing I can do in this moment is take a deep breath, and say I trust you.
All hail King Jesus.
All hail King Jesus.
All hail King Jesus.
I want to type it until I believe it.
All hail King Jesus.
Thinking of the stillness reminds me of this old song, which ironically I will play to break the stillness/silence in this room:
“In the secret, in the quiet place
In the stillness You are there
In the secret, in the quiet hour I wait
Only for you, cause I want to know You more
I want to know You, I want to hear Your voice, I want to know You more and more.”
So meet me here tonight Lord. I can’t do it without You. I long to meet You here, and if these circumstances are meant to grow that desire within me, continue God. Meet me here tonight.
--
Here are some voices that continue to speak to me:
“When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’your steadfast love, O LORD, helps me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.”
-Psalm 94, 18-19
“Praise be to the LORD, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.
The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one. Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever.”
-Psalm 28, 6-9
--
So, we keep going. Maybe it doesn’t look the same, there’s more insecurity, anxiety, quietness. Maybe it means that I need to spend more time with God during the day, or do less meetups. Maybe it means having to cry in front of LIFE group or have tough conversations with my friends about what I need. But we keep going, and nothing stops that- because I want to know Him. Because the kingdom of heaven is like hidden treasure, because a relationship with God is greater than life itself, and that is a promise that I must both trust in and seek to delve deeper into.
Help me find more of You in this season LORD, I surrender it all at your feet, trusting that You are good above season and circumstance. You are King over the flood.
--
Side side note is journaling like this really helps me remember truth, and pray!! Going to try and do this more. Woohoo
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When LIFE gets hard
Sidenote I have this tendency and need to capitalize LIFE because of LIFE group LMAO help me.
Anyways, while there are many highs and lows to life, I thought a post was appropriate. An encouragement to myself? To anyone reading this post (if I ever make it public?)
Things have been hard these days... and piling up. I think what’s more discouraging than that is the fact that I have been struggling with some of the same things for what has felt like my entire life. Insecurity of not feeling good enough, worthy of love, etc. etc. that seeps into my ministry, friendships, and I’m honestly so tired of it having power over me. When will it end? What am I to do? How do I get better?
What’s wrong with me?
Questions that constantly plague my head. While I do not know the answers to these, I do know truth. Reading Isaiah 43 today after a Xinxin prayed it over me was extremely refreshing. And this I keep to mind:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes and honored, and I love you,” (1-4)
“I work, and who can turn it back?” (13)
“Thus says the LORD, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters,” (16)
Things may not be perfect, and this may not be the right encouragement for my future suffering self that finds himself in a different season with different troubles, but what I remember now that I fight to believe changes everything is the fact that God is here. In this place. This is my courage, my life, my delight, and I will cling to my Saviour. Who can when I can’t. Who is here, even when I don’t want to be. Who gives me strength and lays me down in green pastures, even in the season when those green pastures are just little patches of grass that I’m being led to one by one. Sustenance.
When the enemy hurls lies and insecurities, I must remember truth, and more importantly, identity.
His Grace is Sufficient. I am Free. I am a Child of God. The God of Everything Delights in Me because I am His.
I don’t want to simply recite these, but meditate on them and believe them in the deepest depths of my heart, even if it is a fight to preach them to myself as the Psalmist does in Psalm 42
“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” (5)
So, what from here? What must change? What can I do to better fight and equip myself while at Michigan? What do I feel called to?
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One-Day-Radical Dreams
I know it’s a bunch of different passages/quotes, but my inspirations to write this come from a few sources.
Main Point: Jesus, I want to know you. Not kind of know you, but know You, because You’re worth it. Fully worth it. Worth everything.
“They audibly wept before God as one leader after another prayed. After about an hour, the room drew to a silence, and they rose from the floor. Humbled by what I had just been a part of, I saw puddles of tears in a circle around the room. In the days since then, God has granted me many other opportunities to gather with believers in underground house churches in Asia. Men and women there are risking everything to follow Christ.”
“But I want to know him. I want to experience him. I want to be part of a people who delight in him like the brothers and sisters in underground Asia who have nothing but him. And I want to be part of a people who are risking it all for him.”
-Radical, David Platt
Instantaneously, this remarkable story reminds me of Nicaragua. How a people with so little could have joy that is so much. I always wondered how they did it.
“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all that he had and bought that field.”
-Matthew 13
1) Do I understand that a relationship with Jesus, prioritizing intimacy, is all sufficient? Is fullness of life? Is treasure?
2) Once I realize that, am I giving away all that I have, counting the cost and radically fighting for this kingdom?
I honestly think I’ve been focusing a lot on the first. Don’t get me wrong! That’s important. That’s everything, when Christianity ceases to revolve around Christ, it ceases to be Christianity. BUT then why am I living like I still have need? Like I have no joy, hope, peace, love? I am equipped with all the fullness of God, live like it.
Open Reflection : how in my life, can I fight to be radical?
- Materialism: stop spending so much money on trivial things. Fashion. Phone cases, all this crap that I buy, deep down desiring that it will somehow make me more worthy, desirable, and loved.
- Boldness: better use of time. Be bold from the beginning. Get to know people, get to love people with that of Christ. Remember these things, the cost, and the current condition of the world as you do things in your everyday life.
In both of these things, I am living as if “once I get this... then I” or “if I only had this... then I”
Stop, you already have it. What are you waiting for?
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Taking her by the hand he said to her, 'Talitha cumi,' which means, 'Little girl, I say to you, arise'
Mark 5:41
“I remember one time my pastor gave a message about this story when Jesus comes to Jairus’s dead daughter. In other passages, Jesus is seen to say relatively straightforward things such as ‘Get up, take up your mat,’ or ‘I say to you, rise,’ but this time, Jesus takes a different approach. The phrase ‘Talitha cumi’ can best be translated to, ‘Sweetie (as though talking to your beloved toddler daughter), it’s time to wake up.’ When we studied this phrase more, it struck us so much that these few words emphasized not God’s grandeur power over death, not his vindication and righteousness, but almost as importantly, his intimacy. His willingness to be so gentle and loving toward you. To treat you as his beloved child. In his arms and in his care, he will assure that you will be safe with Him, and you can be completely vulnerable and trusting of Him. He can so tenderly hold your hand the whole way.”
-Olivia’s rando friend
Holding intimacy with the Lord in the highest regard, there is nothing greater.
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