dawngen

[dawngen]

big shoutout to the clangen team for once again posting a glorious update that makes me wanna peek back in!

life has been predictably busy still, and i have no updates planned. honestly i need to go through and trim my clan down to The Essentials(TM), because by god, ninety-nine cats...

and love the auto-selected clan symbol 🥰

[dawngen]

hihihi!! just popping in here to say ( after rereading from the very beginning of this blog... again.. ) that i love your work! your voice really shines through in your writing, and i love the way you characterize the cats as well as expanding the lore.

have a wonderful night/day!

AW thank you so much for the kind words!! 💖

the adhd/autism burnout is SO real and i think abt this blog every day... one day the spark will come back and i'll be back to updating. 😤

[dawngen]

Dappleddusk remained on damage control for the rest of the night, working alongside Beewatcher and the clan's mediators, Hollyclaw and Heatherflower.

The most important cat in need of their attention was obviously Sandfeather, but they squared away any other cats visibly shaken by the day's events to be spoken to individually. Beewatcher herded Sandfeather away to a private corner far from the medicine cats' den where Eagleburn remained, having an apprentice fetch some catmint from their stores.

With everyone delegated and working on their tasks, Dappleddusk found herself slowly padding towards the medicine cats' den. She knew full well Oatstar had been in there since the end of the gathering--she had watched him slip in, and never come back out. She should be avoiding the den, in fact. She should be furious and focusing on other tasks to keep her mind busy.

But she wasn't going to see Oatstar.

She needed to see Eagleburn.

"--I didn't know what else to do."

As she slowly poked in her head, barely missing the apprentice skirting past her on catmint-fetching duty, she heard Oatstar's whisper.

"I understand, you were put into a difficult position," Eagleburn's reassuring, deep voice answered, soothing. Dappleddusk felt her lip curl at the sound of him reassuring that coward, but...

It was all an act, wasn't it?

Eagleburn knew exactly how to play into the tom cat's feelings, making him feel validated, but also further enmeshing them.

"Dappleddusk, you can come over. It's alright."

Foxdung. She forgot how keen his senses were with the absence of his sight.

Oatstar likewise seemed surprised, sitting upright in a shock as his interim deputy slunk forward. Head down, shoulders hunched, tail low, she looked ready to swat at Oatstar, and he shrunk back, no longer confident as he was outside. But she chose to sit, ears flat as her tail wrapped itself over her forepaws.

"So you heard?"

"All of it. A bit too much, actually."

Eagleburn seemed perfectly fine with it all by Dappleddusk's assessment, licking a paw and lifting it to groom his ears.

"I would have given everyone more than the night to settle their feelings, but I know, Oatstar, you were under pressure."

Oatstar looked away, shameful. Good, thought Dappleddusk, resisting the urge to sneer.

"In the morning, before the dawn patrol, let me speak with the clan. Let them address me as they need."

Dappleddusk and Oatstar both looked at Eagleburn in shared surprise.

"Are you a glutton for punishment?" asked Dappleddusk, incredulous. "They'll rip you to shreds!"

"And they won't feel at peace until they have a chance to do so," Eagleburn firmly replied. "Do you think Sandfeather will leave peacefully? Not only that, but if she leaves, you fracture an entire family of good cats who have been nothing but loyal to DawnClan. Sandfeather's grandmother was one of our founders when HillClan fell."

Ugh, he made a good point.

"Then, you are...?"

"I want to open a dialogue, and if Sandfeather, or any others, are not satisfied with that..."

He quieted, flexing his claws into his mossy bed.

"They can speak to me through their actions."

Unable to believe her ears, Dappleddusk stared.

"You're willing to risk getting killed in a fight so they can get over themselves?"

"I killed Bayspots. Even while it was self-defense, it is, as you said Oatstar, a sin and a smear on StarClan's face. How else should I show to Sandfeather that I truly seek redemption and forgiveness for committing the worst possible thing?"

Dappleddusk fell silent, and Oatstar, of course, had no good advice, only shifting nervously. Unfortunately, Eagleburn made a good point. While it was utterly insane, forcing Sandfeather to leave was far from a good idea, along with not letting her work through this anger and letting it simmer. They could see a civil war within their very clan.

"... Very well," Dappleddusk sighed. "I will do whatever I can to help."

Eagleburn's whiskers twitched, letting out a short purr.

"Thank you, Dappleddusk. Oatstar, are you okay with this?"

"Of course."

Dappleddusk loathed how quick he was to agree, glancing over at him. Oatstar's eyes were wholly on Eagleburn, however.

"Whatever you need."

Nodding, Eagleburn yawned.

"For now, both of you should get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day."

[dawngen]

The walk of shame back to camp was undeniable.

All eyes fixed on Dappleddusk and Oatstar as they nudged their way through one of the hidden entryways into the camp, and Dappleddusk felt it keenly. Her fur felt flea-bitten with how keenly her clanmates stared, though she felt a smidge better knowing she had not only been able to convince Oatstar to return, but also to hold his head high.

Even if it was not what he felt, he had to appear and play the part of the leader he was supposed to be.

Whispers rippled through, and Dappleddusk silenced them with a sweep of her cold yellow stare. She walked with Oatstar until they were at the base of the Great Oak, going to sit in her spot at its roots as he clambered up.

"Cats of DawnClan," Oatstar began, his voice echoing out over the clearing, and drawing back his once dispersed audience. "I... I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly. But StarClan granted me a vision in the forest."

Dappleddusk's ears twitched.

She hadn't expected him to apologize, let alone follow it up with a lie. A bold-faced one that she could see in her doubting peers' expressions, the gaggle of medicine cats whispering in concern in the far back of the group. Beewatcher caught her eye, shooting a worried look.

Dappleddusk glanced back away. Her stomach turned uneasily, like she had eaten crowfood.

"Eagleburn will find redemption in guiding DawnClan," Oatstar declared. Dappleddusk could hear Sandfeather hiss, and saw Sparrowshadow move to console her out of the corner of her eye. She continued to stare ahead, off into the distance beyond the camp.

"StarClan has shown me that while the crime of killing another cat, let alone a clanmate, is an impossible sin, it is one that under these special circumstances can be forgiven if Eagleburn works hard to prove his loyalty to the clan," continued Oatstar, tail tip flicking back and forth. "I won't listen to any protests about this. This was the decree of StarClan--and we shall not defy them."

He knows how to talk big when he feels like this, Dappleddusk thought to herself, and wondered how many times Eagleburn had coached him through past speeches. How much of it was Eagleburn, and how much of it was Oatstar? Was that cat even capable of individual thought?

She felt deafened, numbed to the whispers in the camp and did not try to quiet her clanmates again, and luckily, it did not seem to perturb Oatstar. She imagined he was feeling better knowing Eagleburn would soon be back to clean up his messes.

"Eagleburn will be reinstated at the next light of dawn. If you disagree with this, then..."

Hearing a flicker of hesitance in his voice, Dappleddusk glanced up. She could tell this was off-script, newly thought of, and focused on one particular set of cats. She followed his gaze, and it landed upon Bayspots' kits.

"You are welcome to leave. No warrior that chooses to go will be harmed, but they will not be allowed to return to DawnClan. Not if they can't stand by its decisions."

Like a river waiting to overflow, the camp burst into chaos.

Sandfeather, seemingly about to cool down, yowled her fury, barely held back by Sparrowshadow and Suntuft. Leopardchaser seemed pleased, smug even, but was wisely stepping out of swiping range of Sandfeather as he went to the warriors' den.

In the distance, Dappleddusk caught a glimpse of Brightstorm shrinking back away from her devastated kit, and when she looked away, back to the Great Oak, Oatstar was already clambering down.

"Oatstar, you cannot just--"

"If they want to make decisions, they can make decisions out on their own."

Oatstar cut off her whispered hiss with a sharp murmur back, his ears flat to his skull as he stalked swiftly off to the medicine cats' den before anyone could intercept him.

Shocked, dismayed, and caught in a rare state of uncertainty of what to do, Dappleddusk caught her daughter's eye again, and Beewatcher's gaze seemed to reflect her same internal anxiety.

[dawngen]

made eagleburn in picrew, find the picrew in question here!

[dawngen]

potentially controversial take that i've been thinking about:

i've seen people creating sign language for warrior cats, but given that cats communicate primarily through body language and scent-marking, i wish people leaned more into that and a combination of alert-signaling for deaf cats.

tail signs are cool, but cats already have a system of communication through the most subtle of body movements, scent-marking, and a deaf cat may not hear a hiss, but they can see it.

i know they be talking cats in the land of make believe, but i'd just loooove to see deaf cats in writing using real life traits of cats, like the aforementioned body language, eye contact, ear movements, etc.

accommodations in my mind should lean towards helping deaf cats be aware of things they wouldn't notice--like a raid while they're asleep in their den, or the sound of humans in the brush--but cats are so naturally intuitive and adaptive they'd figure it out.

one day i'll generate a deaf cat in clangen and be able to write this out myself.

[dawngen]

When she had the time to go out into the forest to find Oatstar, the sun had already begun to lower in the sky. With leaf-bare upon them, it would be darker now, gloomier, and dangerous to be free-roaming without a partner. Yet, did Oatstar consider any of this before running away from the clan who he owed everything to?

Displeased, Dappleddusk made her way through the thinned trees, trying not to scare every prey animal within her vicinity with her heavy pawsteps. Oatstar probably took care of that when he went racing through.

And speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

Huddled down in the thick, gnarled roots of an old evergreen tree, Dappleddusk stopped a fox-length away from her leader. It was good he had his back turned to her, facing the tree. It wouldn't do any good for him to see the look of disdain upon her face.

"Oatstar."

The tom flinched, and Dappleddusk managed to work her expression down into a look of neutrality when he met her gaze.

"Dappleddusk, how did you--?"

"You left a trail even a kit could find. Your scent is everywhere."

Oatstar's ears flattened, humiliated, but not arguing with his temporary deputy.

"You need to come back--"

"No!"

Startled, Dappleddusk reeled back, a paw lifted to her chest in shock as Oatstar's explosive denial sent the birds in the trees flying. His embarrassment returned, and he turned back around, head bowing.

"No... not yet. I'm still thinking."

Thinking of what? Abandoning their clan? Of what a coward he was? Taking in a long, deep breath, Dappleddusk padded up alongside him, visibly confusing Oatstar as she laid down.

"I've been doing some thinking myself."

"H... have you?"

He was obviously afraid of what she had to say. He should be. The no-nonsense she-cat was sick and tired of his victim complex, but she did not speak of it now. She leveled him with unreadable golden eyes, and continued.

"Eagleburn should be brought back as deputy. Banishing him won't bring Bayspots back, and we'll lose another cat that is critical to the structure of DawnClan."

"But, Sandfeather and the others--"

"Sandfeather will learn to swallow her grief like we all do in the name of the clan," Dappleddusk briskly cut in, her eyes narrowing. "The circumstances in which Bayspots died are unfortunate, but we all die one day. Sandfeather will cope with this. As well the other cats."

Letting her words settle in, Dappleddusk thought back to Eagleburn and his implications that he had been puppeteering the clan from behind the scenes the whole time. It sounded worse than it did, but if anything, the deputy had been keeping them alive and out of harm's way of an ineffective and incompetent leader. No one had known the extent of how useless Oatstar really was thanks to Eagleburn.

"I won't take any other answer."

Rising to her paws, Dappleddusk looked down upon Oatstar, who meekly met her gaze.

"You know this is the best decision."

Silent, for a beat, Dappleddusk wondered if Oatstar would show a hint of a spine and disagree with her.

She was disappointed, but unsurprised when he nodded.

"You're right," he quietly agreed, getting up and shaking the dead leaves off of his pelt. "I'll tell them."

Dappleddusk nodded, satisfied that he at least could do the minimum that was required of him.

Letting her leader take the lead back to camp, Dappleddusk could only wonder what Eagleburn would do next.

[dawngen]

the motivation to write again hit me like a truck but i want to know if i should find impulse control for the sake of not overwhelming u all pls help me via this poll

[dawngen]

love is NOT in the air in dawnclan. and sapbeak is NOT down to clown with any of these cats.

(and butterflyfur has struck out twice now with suntuft.)

sapbeak, the latest heartbreaker:

[dawngen]

Dappleddusk could not believe her eyes.

Oatstar had taken flight into the forest, leaving her behind with the watching eyes of her anxious and uneasy clan upon her. She had barely become his temporary deputy, and already was the burden of guiding their clan thrust upon her--even if only for a moment. Or so she hoped.

"Mother?"

Beewatcher brought herself close, her expression knitted into a tense look of concern.

"Return to your duties!" called Dappleddusk in a loud yowl to the clan, her gray tail flagging high. "Oatstar will return soon. We need to refocus on preparing the fresh-kill pile and lining the nursery."

With a flick of her tail, she turned, and caught the attention of some of the apprentices peering out from their den.

"Splinterwatcher." The sandy-toned tortie lifted her head from the crowd. "You and your apprentice go and gather moss for the nursery. I want three other volunteers to go with them."

The apprentice in question, Lavenderpaw, perked up, and came bounding over to her mentor the moment Splinterwatcher's tail signaled to her. Both she-cats were diligent and did not gossip or complain--making them good to head the group that was to gather moss. Their volunteers stepped up in the form of Heatherpaw and his mentor, Robinbone, and Butterflyfur, the mediator passing a look over to Suntuft and Brightstorm, but neither looked in her direction.

"Lotussight, please make a hunting patrol. I trust your choices on hunting grounds."

The gray-speckled she-cat bowed her head, and Dappleddusk watched as she stepped away and selected her hunters. She was one of their finest, and also knew well who among them was similarly talented.

"The rest of you, please focus on fortifying the camp walls, and preparing your dens. It is only the beginning of leafbare so it remains gentle still, but it will not last."

With a flick of her tail, she signaled it was time to disperse, and with only some begrudging members, the clan separated to their tasks.

"Are you going after Oatstar?"

Dappleddusk shook her head, looking to Beewatcher.

"Not yet. Let me know if anything comes up, okay?"

With a knowing look, Beewatcher nodded, and watched as her mother went to the medicine cats' den.

"Eagleburn?"

"I heard it all."

Curled up in his mossy nest, Eagleburn lifted his head. Dappleddusk found herself mildly annoyed at his knowing tone, but swallowed it down as she approached.

"And you heard that Oatstar ran?"

"I'm not surprised he did."

Licking a paw and swiping it over his ear, Eagleburn flicked his tail.

"He hasn't made a single decision since Darkstar died. It's been me."

Dappleddusk felt her blood cool.

"Why are you admitting this?"

Even unseeing, his eyes cut deep into her as they locked upon the sound of her voice.

"Because you and I both know that he's going to sink this clan, Dappleddusk."

And he was not wrong. She knew in her heart that Oatstar would be nothing but a detriment to the clan without a guiding paw, and still did she wonder--how did he get his lives? Would StarClan award such a cowardly cat with their divine blessing?

"I've been helping him because I care about him as a friend, and for this clan, but it can't go on much longer."

"And what are you implying?"

"That leafbare will be that much harder under Oatstar's leadership."

Dappleddusk flattened her ears. But what other choice did they have? Unless Oatstar willingly retired himself, they would be condemned to having to guide him until all of his nine lives were spent.

"Keeping me here won't bring Bayspots back," Eagleburn continued. "Everything I've ever done has been for DawnClan. Do you think I would take away a perfectly good warrior from this clan?"

Dappleddusk was silent, unable--or perhaps unwilling--to answer.

Letting her sit in silence, Eagleburn laid his head down, shutting his eyes.

Unable to find the words, Dappleddusk, after a second more of simply standing there, staring at the deputy, she turned away, padding out of the den.

She needed to find Oatstar.

[dawngen]

if leopardchaser is eagleburn's #1 fan/supporter, i am leopardchaser's #1 fan/supporter 😤

[dawngen]

It took several more sunrises until finally, Oatstar seemed ready to face the clan, and address what was destined for Eagleburn. Without his trusted deputy at his side, he seemed uncertain and tentative, incapable of providing the guidance that the clan needed. Dappleddusk, especially, noticed this.

And she was the reason why he had managed to drag his sorry pelt to the Great Oak.

You cannot avoid this forever, she had hissed at him in his den, frustrated with his lack of action. No matter if Eagleburn killed Bayspots' out of self-defense or not, he can't keep rotting away in the medicine cats' den, and you cannot keep hiding.

"Is he finally calling a clan meeting?"

Ears perking, Dappleddusk's harsh expression softened at the sight of her daughter, Beewatcher. Flanking her was her son, Sunnydash, and she greeted both with a purr and a headbutt--though not without a quick groom of Sunnydash's fluffy gray head, which he happily endured. He had always been a mama's boy.

"Yes, finally." Dappleddusk sighed, her tail tip twitching in irritation as she looked back to where Oatstar was visibly collecting himself.

"Did he tell you what he's going to be doing?" asked Sunnydash,

Dappleddusk laid her ears back, flexing her claws into the dirt.

"No," she stiffly answered. "I'm hoping to find that out now."

"All warriors, please gather beneath the Great Oak!"

"He's excluding apprentices...?" whispered Beewatcher, mimicking her mother's irritated look. "What is he thinking? This affects the whole clan!"

Dappleddusk could only shake her head, her kits falling to silence as they looked to their leader. Unlike Leopardchaser's ceremony, Oatstar seemed uneasy and lacking confidence.

As cats gathered, Dappleddusk made a note of Leopardchaser emerging from the medicine cats' den. He had volunteered for every shift he could for watching over Eagleburn, and she sensed the only reason he had come out was to see if Oatstar had decided his former mentor's fate.

In tandem, the Bayspots' litter joined the clan, and Dappleddusk noted that Sandfeather seemed especially on edge. Unsurprising, given she had been the most volatile at the discovery of her mother's death. When Brightstorm left the nursery to join them, Sandfeather made a point of walking around and keeping distance between them by using Frostspots as a physical barrier.

Dappleddusk looked away before she could see Brightstorm's disappointment.

"As we all know," Oatstar began, bringing the clan to a quiet. "We have had some... Issues in the clan, regarding Eagleburn."

"Yeah, no foxdung," grumbled Sandfeather, who was promptly quieted by Sparrowshadow.

"Given as this affects the whole clan, I was thinking of... taking a vote."

Disbelief rippled through the crowd, and Dappleddusk felt her hackles raise. What kind of spineless act was this? Their leader was to guide them and provide definitive answers! Was Oatstar going to evade his duties by forcing them onto his clan?

"Does the vote include exile?" Sandfeather asked loudly, and was met with a hiss to be quiet by Sparrowshadow. "What? He killed! Whether or not it was in self-defense, he murdered one of us--"

"Eagleburn has done nothing but support you and your kin, along with the whole clan, this whole time!"

The rising whispers silenced with the caterwaul of Leopardchaser, eyes turning upon the once meek apprentice, now bristled warrior, as he stared Sandfeather down. The she-cat met his gaze with a flinch of surprise, but she merely flattened her ears.

"Is killing my mother supportive?!" she countered, and Leopardchaser slammed a forepaw against the dirt.

"She attacked him! Eagleburn has done nothing but be a truthful member of this clan, why would he start lying now? He said he knew what he did was wrong and turned himself in--a murderer would have tried to hide it! Or dumped the body!"

"My mother would never just--"

"Enough!"

Nose-to-nose, the battle-ready warriors were split up by Dappleddusk diving between them, pushing them apart with broad, scarred shoulders.

"Oatstar!"

Turning, tail lashing, she met the timid gaze of their leader.

"We need your guidance on this. This is not a decision the clan can make--" She flicked her tail in reference to the two agitated cats on either side of her. "Without ripping each other's pelts off."

"Ah, well, but..."

Oatstar shrunk, and Dappleddusk felt all of her faith slowly drain. Was Eagleburn really the true leader of this clan, simply operating in the shadows?

"We need your guidance, Oatstar," called Beewatcher, and was met by an uneasy chorus of her peers who, too, needed the voice of a strong leader to show them the way. Yet, Oatstar only shrunk further back against the Great Oak, though with leaf-bare upon them, the branches of the Great Oak offered no coverage for the anxious tom-cat.

"I... I... I actually need to... Talk to... StarClan about this."

"What?"

Before Dappleddusk could follow up on her shock--Oatstar was on the move.

Incredulous, she could only watch as their valiant leader appointed by none other than Darkstar herself fled with his tail between his legs, scrabbling down the claw-marked bark of the Great Oak.

"Is he--?"

Beewatcher's whispered dismay reflected Dappleddusk's own shocked heart as Oatstar took off into the surrounding forest, darting around an apprentice who had sneaked out to see the drama. He wasn't headed in the direction of the Sky Splinter.

What did Darkstar see in this pathetic tom?

[dawngen]

YESSS leopardchaser!! i love his character, even if it's only been shown briefly. it's great to read your writing again! 💖

thank you for the appreciation, and YES leopardchaser has grown on me <3

i've been excited to have time to finally write his ceremony!

[dawngen]

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather beneath the Great Oak!"

Ever since Eagleburn had returned with Bayspots' still-warm body, the camp had been thick with a palpable tension. No one cat had been able to keep still or to keep quiet as gossip as to what was to happen spread like wildfire through the chilly camp. Opinions were starkly divided as to what should be done, and the crux of it all was Eagleburn's contributions to DawnClan.

Such as seen in physical form as young Leopardpaw, flanked by Beewatcher, approached the Great Oak. The apprentice, already fully grown and sleek with toned muscle beneath his dappled coat, looked smaller than he should next to the medicine cat.

As Oatstar clambered up the tree overarching the camp, peering down below, he, too, shared in Leopardpaw's visible anxiety.

Eagleburn's absence was felt with a distinctive, ominous air. Many had begun to realize how he was the sticky sap keeping them all together, Oatstar's necessary shadow and guiding paw. It had been three days since Eagleburn's banishment to the medicine cats' den, and little had been decided.

But, at the deputy's insistence, Oatstar had conceded that the clan needed this bright spot of hope more than ever.

"It has been a tough few days, but I hope you all can find joy in this moment like I will," Oatstar began, looking out over his collected clan. He noted that the Bayspots' litter were absent, and Suntuft and Brightstorm were in the mouth of the nursery, watching, but distant. He tried not to think of it, looking down and spotting Leopardpaw anxiously shifting from paw to paw among the crowd.

"We have an apprentice overdue for his ceremony, that he has very much become deserving of. Leopardpaw, could you please step forward towards the Great Oak?" The whispering among the felines settled as all eyes focused upon Leopardpaw, and in that moment, the young cat figured out why his mentor pushed so much for him to have his ceremony without him. It was a distraction from the tragedy that had befallen their clan, a necessary one. He felt their gazes upon him, but unlike what he had anticipated, it felt... Warm. Joyous.

He could see his siblings, who had obtained their warrior names a moon before, sitting in the crowd, looking upon him with pride. Wolverinefreckle lifted her good paw, and Rowandawn flicked his bushy gray tail, both wearing such warm expressions.

They had led different paths--Wolverinefreckle a medicine cat and Rowandawn a mediator--which had caused them to separate from a young age, but these clan ties kept them bound together, and reminded Leopardpaw that the clan was not doomed over one incident. He could only hope they would be stronger for it.

"In place of your mentor--Beewatcher, do you believe this young cat is ready for his warrior name?"

Pulling herself up beside Leopardpaw, they shared a glance, and Beewatcher lifted her head high.

"Undoubtedly. He has demonstrated the courage and loyalty of a clan cat, and the heart of a warrior."

Oatstar nodded.

"Leopardpaw--do you promise to uphold our code, and to defend DawnClan to your dying breath?"

"I do."

"Then I declare you Leopardchaser. May your courageous heart continue to guide you along StarClan's path."

With a bunch of his haunches, Oatstar leaped down to the gathering place where newly named Leopardchaser awaited. His anxiety melted away, finally did the younger tom stand like the warrior he should be, and in his posture and lifted head, Oatstar saw a reflection of Eagleburn.

Padding forward, with the distance closed, the two cats briefly shared tongues, Oatstar licking the shoulder of Leopardchaser and Leopardchaser mimicking him.

"DawnClan, meet your newest warrior!"

His tail flagged high, and with Oatstar's cry, a chorus of Leopardchaser's new name rung out across the clearing.

Leopardchaser! Leopardchaser! Leopardchaser!

Overwhelmed with joy, as his siblings approached to give their congratulations, out of the corner of his eye, Leopardchaser spotted a black tail slipping back into the medicine cats' den. His heart swelled with an indescribable feeling, one he would not forget as he accepted the congratulations of his peers with a deep purr.

[dawngen]

real talk i come back to this project so randomly my memory is SUPER fuzzy on all of my generated kitties, their relationships, and if i have brought them up yet in previous works.

debating doing an updated 'here are the kids' series of posts bcuz i cannot promise proper character introductions in my writing... as i forget whether or not i have introduced them yet <3

[dawngen]

"How are you holding up, Suntuft?"

Lifting her head from her nest and the kits nestled against her belly, Suntuft greeted Butterflyfur's approach with a weary smile.

"Better than others."

The last few sun cycles had been absolute madness. From the birth of Brightstorm's kits and her own, to the discovery that they were Eagleburn's, and then, the cruel death of Bayspots at the claws of Eagleburn and the current debate of whether or not it could be considered self-defense with no witnesses...

She tilted her head, peering out beyond the nursery. As she suspected, once her eyes adjusted to the sharp, leaf-bare morning light, Brightstorm was still laying outside of the warriors' den. It seemed her adult kits still did not feel ready to accept her comfort. Sandfeather had refused to speak to her at all, and while Frostspots and Sparrowshadow had been more forgiving, they were focused, understandably, first on Sandfeather's recovery.

It was only a day after Bayspots's vigil, and unfortunately, she didn't anticipate there to be much of a change in Sandfeather so soon.

"Figured you might want some breakfast."

Setting down a small, thin sparrow in front of Suntuft, the queen gave Butterflyfur an appreciative glance.

"Thank you, Butterflyfur. How are you doing?"

While they had never been particularly close, Butterflyfur and her siblings had been brought to the clan by Slatespots about the same time as she and Brightstorm had been brought by their deceased kittypet mother.

Not only that, although she hadn't thought much of it, but Butterflyfur was also one of Eagleburn's siblings. Grayfade, their other sibling, had buried herself in her medicine cat work to avoid the sight of Eagleburn in his temporary prison. Her gaze softened with sympathy, feeling bad for not checking in with the she-cat sooner.

"This must be hard on you, especially since..."

Slatespots and Creekberry had died some moons ago, and the absence of support for their kits surely must be felt. She knew she often yearned for Boulderfrost's guidance.

"It's okay," Butterflyfur interjected. "I know everything is going to be fine. Eagleburn wouldn't have done it if he didn't absolutely have to--he wouldn't betray the clan like that. But I'm still sorry it all happened."

Ears twitching, Suntuft did not know how to feel about such a statement. She and Bayspots hadn't been close, but, wasn't it a little cold to dismiss her death like that?

She could only manage to nod, looking back to the kits when one began to mewl, nudged away from her warm belly by one of the others.

Leaning over to push the kit back into place, Suntuft listened as Butterflyfur awkwardly cleared her throat.

"I just wanted to say, Suntuft, before I go--if you need any company, I'm here for you."

Suntuft paused, and peered back.

While words alone implied nothing short of an innocent offer, the hopeful, soft shine to Butterflyfur's eyes was one she recognized. She had seen it in how Brightstorm sneakily watched Eagleburn, and how she had looked at Bayspots early in their relationship. Even could she vaguely recall how Boulderfrost would occasionally look at Darkstar with similar eyes, though nothing came of it.

"... That is very kind of you, Butterflyfur, but I think I'll be fine. You should check on Grayfade."

Kind, but polite, she watched as Butterflyfur's face dropped, though if one blinked, they would have missed it. She recovered swiftly and bowed her head courteously.

"You're right--thank you for thinking about my family when yours is suffering even more."

"DawnClan is just one big family, isn't it? You're like a sibling to me, Butterflyfur."

Butterflyfur tensed, then managed a stiff smile.

"Thank you, Suntuft. I'll let you get some rest."

Carefully leaving the den, Butterflyfur made her way to the medicine cats' den while Suntuft watched after her, curious.

They never had been particularly close--where had this all come from?

[dawngen]

this is NOT coming up in the story bcuz i don't have the capacity to write full on cat wars rn and the 'clan' dynamics don't exist outside of dawnclan.

but i just opened up my file after awhile of not touching it and good lord my dudes what is happening here.

they just keep declaring war on everybody