dawnmore

[dawnmore]

anyways

every time i back read our old convo, i reblog this post

[dawnmore]

anyways

every time i back read our old convo, i reblog this post

[dawnmore]

You guys ever feel like you're having a fling with some franchise? Or exes trope for that matter. Like you used to be fully engaged in the fandom before they no longer your hyperfixation but when you coincidentally came across the posts about it and hit nostalgia lane, you then stop by for a second to relish the remnants and memories. You started to engaged with it back before bouncing again.

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if someone was spectating me right now, it won't take long for you to realize that i don't belong here

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note to self, wag galing galingan

context: maling nasakyan, naligaw tuloy HAHAHHAHAH

[dawnmore]

10:20 something, thursday, jan 23, 2025

omg

i just had the cutest dream about jay ar

idk the setting, it's like in school but also somewhere cozy because instead of the school chairs, we had couches

and soooo, not sure if that me and jay ar are now on good terms but just as distant friends but

(we were not in the same room at the time btw, it was like some that we're in school and they were in immersion or vice versa)

not sure if it was him, but it was suggested that we head home together to idk hang out or something

at first i was like uhhh nooooo-

because i wanted to but me and kei always head home together, ihahatid ko siya, and that's how it's always is, and i would feel very guilty to just leave her behind like that for a boy

but then kei was like- no it's okay

said something about how it's okay anyways because (maybe? i'm not sure about this but-) i think her mom is gonna pick her up? or they're going somewhere

because it turns out na nagtatampo mama ni kei pag like- (ano kasi, her mom is there at her house for the time being) tapos nagtatampo pag kunwari magkasama sila sa bahay tapos may magchachat sa kanya

gusto ng mama niya isulit nila pagsasama nila

so like- yeahh ganun

so kei insisted na it's okay, that me and jay ar should go spend time with one another ganun

tapos tapos- time skip

nakaupo kaming lahat sa mahabang sofa thing sa school, si jay ar andito na

and he was sitting close to me, with kei in between us, pero si kei nakaurong siya to the end part of the chair

kaya me and jay ar talked clearly/see each other ganun

and omg he was so cute, kinikilig siya and nahihiya pero he forced through it kasi gusto niya ako makausap (perhaps namiss ako ng sobra na gusto niya lang talaga isulit)

and all around us, there was trixy, and other female classmates, and there was even mami! i have no idea why

so that's why when he asked me something, i became really self conscious

he couldn't handle it anymore and asked me if he could hug me

and i wanted it too but i felt so self conscious

so i was trying to nonchalantly kinda reject him saying how- "huhh? ang daming tao" "si kei maiipit gaga" basta ganun

but then he was already going in for the hug (he kind of layed down on the sofa and came close to me with his arms outstretched)

and i felt all nervous because dudeee there was trixy watching and mami! i didn't know what they would think and that made me nervous as fuckkk

but i really wanted the hug

so despite me blabbering about how we shouldn't right now, na maiipit si kei na nasa gitna namin and maiistorbo siya-

-i took in and reciprocated the hug with absolutely no protest

...

now we're kind of cuddling on the sofa, (we're both kind of laying on the sofa like this: \°/ where the slashes are me and jay ar and kei is the circle at the top)

and fuuuuuck

all my thinking and worrying actually fucking melted away the second we were embracing one another

FUCK i missed his hugs, his warmth, his calming scent, everything about it melted my mind away and i just wanted to stay there forever

but yeah i think i heard a comment from someone and was sent back to reality, ending the short cuddling session albeit with much regret

so yeah... a blushing fool i am

and idk- i guess that was like the confirmation he needed or something? because after that he started saying how much he missed me, and that this time he's gonna treat me better, and other sweet stuff i couldn't really remember

and so in my head i was huhhhh??

i guess he thought/wanted that we went back to the way things way(?) because i guess he thinks after that that we're back together or something

and i wanted him too so i just took it all in, but this time i was being more nonchalant, pretending saying that we shouldn't be doing this or something like that

fast forward, we're cuddling again, idk if it's the same setting but more private because most people have left, or if it's a bedroom or something and we were cuddling on the bed

and everything was heaven, he was so sweet to me, being like how i was before, and me acting all nonchalant

it was like bumabawi siya? or idk maybe he just really missed me and he wanted na idk isulit talaga ang pagsasama kasi matagal niya na itong gusto mangyari

he was all like- okay na tayo ha? magchachat ako sayo- ganun ewan basta ganun pero hindi ganun

tapos idk i guess he decided na kami na, and i didn't protest

tapos yun, he was holding my hand and kissing it like how he did before

he kisses my forehead

his cute giggles because he couldn't believe this is happening

kissing my cheeks

burying his face in my neck and inhaling my scent

him talking about sweet stuff

him looking at me in the eyes in the most sincere way i've ever seen anyone

saying i love you, i missed you

and doing his iconic "hmm!" when i say something that flusters him or something

so yeah, fast forward

tita and the mag anak are here in the house

i haven't opened my ig since the last night, also kind of purposely(?)

idk if it was just that i didn't feel like talking to him or if it's that i want to see how he would be like if i didn't text him the whole day

and sooooo

i opened it in the evening around 6 maybe

and omggggg

puro long message at ang dami🥹😭

nag dami as in

dream me didn't get to read it but as i was scrolling through it, it was so much messages, and they were all so sweet (nasabi ko yun because of the emojis, i didn't get to read them)

ang dami talaga gagi

parang every hour or every 2 hours nagchachat siya, tapos puro long message

grabe be

and i felt a bit guilty but also satisfied seeing that he actually cares

AHHHHHH OMG I LOVED THIS SO MUCH

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I JUST HAD A MIND-BLOWING REALIZATION

SHADOW MILK COOKIE REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF KOKICHI OUMA FROM DANGANRONPA BUT BLUE INSTEAD OF PURPLE

DUDEEEEE

they're both antagonists

both circus related aesthetic

both have manic laughs

both have annoying-in-a-good-way voices

both obsessed with the aspect of truths and lies

LIKE OMG

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DUDE

OMG

i'm at the printing shop and someone just asked me for my perfume

OMGGGG

i never knew it felt so good to experience this😭

i am NEVER leaving the house without bathing in perfume again

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OH MY FUCKING GOSH

i had just realized

because there's this nwow employee here at ours right now nagmeryenda and is checking out the old motor as i am typing this

and before that, mami and him were talking, asking about why we want to sell our things, that we're moving back to manila after i graduate

and then he asked: "18 na siya diba" "nagdibo na siya"

and omg

idk the reason why he asked that (mind you, the whole time he was here i sorta kinda felt that he was eyeing me or idk maybe i'm just delulu)

but yeah, that's when i had fucking realized, that's when it really fucking sinked in my head: I AM 18!!

i can actually finally flirt up adult men without feeling guilty(?)/without lying(?)/and can actually persists and not backtrack

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i feel the power

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i think we can both agree, na we can both say na we're both too prideful or lack the confidence to actually make a move or interact anymore

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jam - a bag & pandora lip gloss. i don't really love the color of the bag, it's like an burnt orange brown kinda shade but it's fine, on the other hand, i looooove the lip gloss, i was so shocked to it's from pandora, and i tried it on and it smells so freaking good i just wanna eat it😩

i just realized as i was writing this because i went to check the lip gloss again and omg it even has a little mirror on the side😭 so fancy

edit: i put some on my hand and as i'm opening other presents, i can smell it so and it's like a perfume, it smells so good even from a distance

kazandra - this cute bag from mr diy

aeon - this perfume that i didn't like initially because of the look of the label, but i tried it and it actually turned out to be the scent i like the most, it's so close to the scents i usually like to use

"may ari ng bahay" - sweet pea bliss perfume/mist that mama said was pretty expensive too

i have no idea - this outfit that i'm not eif they are pajamas or what (but honestly i don't really like it) but it's very soft tho

i also have no idea - liptints! i really needed some, was just going to go buy some (tho i don't think color would suit me tho) (i don't like the packaging solely because it reminds me of the one aljhorie has, has unfortunately that says a lot about me ;-;)

tita annie - a cute bracelet that at first i thought was a choker and i got so excited until i tried it on and it wouldn't fit on my neck LMAO, also i just realized that it's from GjArtsAndCrafts which i think is nash's older sister

edreiann - ice bear plushie from miniso!

tita nenes - some nice ass shoes that fits perfectly

trix - and last but not the least of course from trixy, i don't know why but i really wanted to open her gift last, and i was right, it was the most special, so thought out, i feels so perfect that i chose to open this last, not because i was expecting something grand but because it was from her and i really wanted to save the best for last (also it's the biggest gift out of all of them so-)

anyways, it's a blanket that's so super soft and it's the perfect color too, and i have no idea how she felt it or something but i really needed a new blanket, i just didn't know it yet but i got so sad that my old blanket that i used to use lost its softness over time, so getting this was amazing, and i repeat! it's the perfect color, it's the perfect design! it's so simple yet so perfect and so suiting to my taste!

it's not just that tho, she also put a bunch of old photos of us and of course my epics lmao because that's just who she is, i feel so loved and touched by her gift, it's by far the best gift i received from all of them, it's the one i cherish the most

and it's even the one i already used the most, i took a nap with it already, and might i just say- it was a one good fucking nap, i had a good dream (a wet dream) and i when i woke up i wasn't moody ^^

i already know this is gonna be my most used gift, i just hope i don't wear it out ;-;

truly the best gift<3

gifts from bday

redden - blue penguin (with no tag)

dean - blue penguin (with tag)

kei and ian - sketchbook & perfume

i have no idea - this cool ass shirt

judy (mama) - accessories in MY box

aljur - this white shirt which is large :(

lola beth - this cute ass freaking bag that costs 999 and was wrapped in sm🥺😭

(and the fact that it fits my ipad omg it's perfect😭)

sir ysmael - this cute bag from miniso

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ma'am lovely - shorts (that i have not tried on yet)

irene - perfume

i have no idea - a purse/wallet (that i initially thought was a tiny bag because i mistook the zipper thing as a strap), that i didn't like initially and was going to give to zia until mama was like "check it out first" and i did and i actually quite like it (i don't like the color tho)

aicee - a shirt, bath and body works body wash, and chanel perfume

i think her gift was by far the most expensive😭 i love it, i was so shocked when i saw channel, the skirt i initially didn't like and was supposed to give it to judy but then I gave it the benefit of a doubt and tried it on, and it actually looks so cute on me

gifts from bday

redden - blue penguin (with no tag)

dean - blue penguin (with tag)

kei and ian - sketchbook & perfume

i have no idea - this cool ass shirt

judy (mama) - accessories in MY box

aljur - this white shirt which is large :(

lola beth - this cute ass freaking bag that costs 999 and was wrapped in sm🥺😭

(and the fact that it fits my ipad omg it's perfect😭)

sir ysmael - this cute bag from miniso

[dawnmore]

gifts from bday

redden - blue penguin (with no tag)

dean - blue penguin (with tag)

kei and ian - sketchbook & perfume

i have no idea - this cool ass shirt

judy (mama) - accessories in MY box

aljur - this white shirt which is large :(

lola beth - this cute ass freaking bag that costs 999 and was wrapped in sm🥺😭

(and the fact that it fits my ipad omg it's perfect😭)

sir ysmael - this cute bag from miniso

[dawnmore]

Hi Jai!!

By the time you’re reading this, I just want to say happy, happy, happy not officially 18th birthday! Haha. Thank you for all the laughter, adventures, and memories we’ve shared since grade one. Even though we’re not as close as before, and even if I’m no longer the one you consider your “best friend,” I’ll forever be grateful for the bond we had.

You’ve always been such an important part of my life, and the memories we’ve created will always hold a special place in my heart. I’m so proud of the person you’ve become—strong, not totally kind (jk), and beautiful inside and out.

We may not be so vocal and open to each other. Ang daming away at tampuhan na piniling palipasin at hindi na ayusin. I don’t really know what happened between us. Ewan ko kung anong nagawa ko, kaya sorry. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you, sa lahat ng tampo mo na hindi ko napansin, at sa mga panahong kailangan mo ng kausap pero wala ako. Sorry dahil nagkaroon ka ng kaibigan na mataas na ang pride HAHA.

I just want to say that I may not have been the best friend you had, but I want you to know that I really care for you. Hindi mo siguro nafifeel , but I’m always here whenever you need someone to talk to. Also, save your heart for someone who truly cares. Alagaan and ingatan mo ang sarili mo since malapit na rin yung time na we’ll take different paths, and literal na we might not see each other for a long, long time.

I hope you find a best friend who will do everything for you and will really take care of you—unlike me😊. I hope you’re happy with your new friends, and I hope you can forgive me for all the bad things I did to you. We’ve grown apart already, and there are so many things I don’t know about you anymore. I don’t even know if you still trust me haha since most updates about you come from chikas. I really wanted to clear things up, which is why I wrote a long letter for you before (remember our activity in perdev), but I got scared of the possible changes after you read it. So many times, I tried to give you that letter but ended up not doing so. Now, I hope we’re okay na. Even if we’re not as close as before and you’ve found new best friends, I will always be here for you, silently cheering you on.

I’m so proud of you for being strong. I know you have a lot of things going on in your mind and choose not to share it with everyone. If ever you’re at that point again, please don’t hurt yourself. I’m here, and you can kwento para gumaan ang loob mo. Ngayon ko lang nasasabi ito dahil takot ako sa mga pagbabago, which nangyari na nga. Iiyak lang ako kapag nag-message ako sa’yo kanina, so through Messenger na lang HAHA. Gala tayo soon kapag may time! As you step into this new chapter of your life, I hope you embrace every opportunity and create even more unforgettable memories—even if I’m not the person you’ll share them with anymore. You deserve nothing but the best, Jai! Know that I’ll always be cheering for you, no matter where life takes us. Enjoy your day—you’re officially 18 (almost)! love lotss🫂😘💛

Love,

Trixy

[dawnmore]

quotes just cuz

"Many can offer you treasures, fine and rare,

But who can capture your soul in strokes of care?

Gifts may dazzle, but tell me true,

Who else can paint the world with colors of you?"

"Any girl can offer you a perfect gift, but who else can capture your soul in strokes of color, like I do?"

"Any heart may offer you treasures fine and rare,

But who can capture your soul on canvas with such tender care?"

"Many can gift you treasures rare,

But who can craft a love so fair?

Who can, with brush and colors true,

Capture your soul the way I do?"

"Any girl can gift you treasures beyond measure, but can any of them capture your soul with the brushstrokes I use?"

You could say something like:

"Any girl may gift you the finest treasures, but can any of them capture your soul on canvas, as I do?"

This rephrasing keeps the sentiment and adds a poetic, heartfelt touch.

[dawnmore]

Wednesday, October 30, 2024

okayyyyy

I had a dream about jay ar

I mean- I did so too yesterday, but today is different

So there was this event in the plaza I was in, forgot what it was but i to think it has something to do with basketball liga

And so i went home all tired yeah

And then i opened my phone

To messages from jay ar

Like a loooot

Forgot exactly what it said but let me try to rewrite it

So basically

*kinamusta ako*

then asked me if maybe i wanted to go get coffee: "baka gusto mong lumabas tayo at magkape sometime"

"miss

[dawnmore]

grabe tong si redden, nag first move nga ako para sa streaks na yinayaya niya, gagi tadtad naman

dami niya magsend HAHAHAHAHA

tamad mag first move pero kung makasend wagas HAHAHHA