daycarelancelot-blog

[daycarelancelot-blog]

ooc: I have moved! Go to @lancelotdaycare I'm going to there from now on.

[daycarelancelot-blog]

ooc: Thinking of moving this blog over to a new one, so it won’t be a sideblog anymore. I just think it’ll be easier ya know

[daycarelancelot-blog]

Yay! You beat night four!! Good for you!!

ooc: THANK

[daycarelancelot-blog]

sardonichvmor:

Casual reminder that you can always  ,  100%  turn memes into threads    (    just move it to a new text post    )    &&    I love having multiple threads with people.  So like   do the thing. 

[daycarelancelot-blog]

ooc: When you beat night 4 on Tattletail

[daycarelancelot-blog]

💋 platonically all over his face bc brother tbh

put a 💋 in my ask if your muse wants to kiss mine"Oh my god, I feel so blessed." Happy Baguette noises.

[daycarelancelot-blog]

a really long, but categorized, ask meme

ACTIONS - ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING

*Accidentally spills [[SPECIFY HERE]] on you*

*Slaps you*

*Kisses you on the lips*

*Bites your lip*

*Rubs your shoulders*

*Dumps ice water over your head*

*Winks at you*

*Flips hair at you*

*Throws a ball of paper towards you*

*Hands you a note, inside it says [[SPECIFY HERE]]*

*Slams the door shut behind you*

*Storms out of the room*

*Wraps my arms around you from behind*

*Kisses your neck*

*Nibbles on your earlobe*

*Tucks a strand of hair behind your ear*

*Strokes your hair*

*Caresses your cheek*

*Holds you in my arms*

QUOTES - PICK UP LINES EDITION

“You’re cute and I’m horny. You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I see you like cardio… wanna go back to my place and do it together?”

“I’m sorry, but I just received a call for you. From heaven? I think they’re missing an angel.”

“Hold my hand? I’m afraid I’m getting lost in your eyes.”

“Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.”

“Are you a pokemon? Because I’d like to peek-at-chu.”

“If I had a dollar for every beautiful girl/guy I saw tonight, I’d have one dollar. Because the only beautiful girl/guy in here is you.”

“Maybe I could show you my [[SPECIFY ITEM]] collection. It’s back at my house, so we’d have to go there but…”

*Spills a drink on your shirt* “I’m so sorry! But if it’s any reassurance, I think that top would look better on my bedroom floor anyways.”

QUOTES - STRANGERS EDITION

“I’m sorry, have we met before?”

“I don’t know you, but thanks.”

“You’re a very nice guy/girl, you know that?”

“We only just met… but I’d really like to see you again.”

“Do you think you could move your ass out of my friend’s seat?”

“It’s none of your business. We just met.”

“Hey I’m [[NAME HERE]] and my crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend is here and I was wondering if you’d pretend to date me so I can get them off my back?”

“I’m so sorry about that! Let me buy you a new sandwich.”

“Oh shit. I didn’t mean to trip you I swear, I’m sorry.”

QUOTES - WORKPLACE EDITION

“Did you get that email I sent you last night?”

“No, I’m serious. She/he brought a flask to work.”

“I overheard the boss and I think you’re about to be put up for a promotion!”

“I know what you’ve got in that top drawer.”

“I can’t believe you’re drunk at work.”

“You know, most people watch porn at home.”

“Your Netflix binge is using up all the broadband.”

“Stop torrenting, asshole! I have a report to send off to Japan in an hour and I can’t even open Gmail!”

“If you spent half as much time on doing your job as you do on World on Warcraft, maybe you’d have a chance at a promotion too.”

“You’ve been working here for 6 years and you don’t know where the break room is?”

QUOTES - SCHOOL EDITION

“Didn’t you hear? [[NAME HERE]] and [[NAME HERE]] hooked up last night!”

“We lost the playoffs.”

“The girls team beat the boys!”

“I heard he/she got called into the principal’s office.”

“Apparently the swim team had an orgy after hours.”

“I heard they were fucking in the bathroom.”

“She/he’s been paying people to do their homework!”

“She/he fell running in the hallway and knocked out a few teeth.”

“I can’t believe we’re graduating this year.”

“Being a freshman sucks.”

“I slept with a sophomore last weekend.”

“She/he told me they were a junior!”

“Why are those freshmen staring at you?”

“Is there a reason everyone suddenly knows your name overnight?”

“How come everyone suddenly knows who I am?”

“Did you tell them about my [[INSERT SECRET HERE]]?!”

“I can’t believe you hooked up with my boyfriend/girlfriend.”

“I definitely failed that test.”

“I got an A on my essay!”

QUOTES - SASS EDITION

“Wow, there’s a stick wedged so far up your ass I don’t think I can even pull it out.”

“I’m sorry, but my number of fucks to give has officially reached a negative number.”

“Uranus called and said I’m huge and in the way.”

“I’m searching… searching… oh. Well would you look at that. I couldn’t find any fucks to give.”

“What’s the difference between a dolphin and you? Dolphins have brains.”

“Just because that’s mistletoe hanging above us doesn’t mean I’m going to kiss you.”

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“At this point you might as well ask for my autograph.”

QUOTES - ARGUMENTS/ROWS/QUARRELS EDITION

“You know I’m right! I’m always right!”

“Shut up. Just shut up!”

“I don’t need to listen to this.”

“You’re lying.”

“I can’t believe you’d say that. Even in an argument, that was low of you.”

“I can’t look at you.”

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

“If you say one more word, I swear…”

“Pipe down, you’re making a scene.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Now I know why people think you’re neurotic.”

“You must be crazy.”

“I'm not backing down.”

“You can’t hide the truth forever, you know.”

“What’s your issue?”

“You make me so angry.”

“This has nothing to do with you.”

QUOTES - LOVERS EDITION

“And… and I love you! It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along.”

“I don’t know how to say it. But you know what I’m trying to say, right?”

“I’ve never been good at this. I don't do relationships. But I… I want to try with you.”

“You’re the one that I want.”

“I don't care. I don’t give a shit, don’t you get it? I don’t give a flying fuck unless it has to do with you. I love you.”

“Please don’t say that. You know you’re the only one for me. Fuck everyone else.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. Every minute of every day. I could be standing in the shower or cooking breakfast, but you’re still the only thought on my mind.”

“I want to wake up next to you, everyday for the rest of my life.”

“I’ve always been afraid of commitment, okay? That’s why I sleep around.”

“I’ve never wanted to give love a try until now.”

“Please, don’t leave me.”

“I need you more than you will ever know.”

“I love you more than I could ever express in words.”

QUOTES - DRUNK AND KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR EDITION

*Starts singing [[SPECIFY SONG NAME]] outside your door/window*

“I didn’t fuck him/her, I swear!”

“I brought vodka and ice cream.”

“You left your anal beads at my house. Wait… no, they’re just normal mardi gras beads.”

“I can’t believe you went without me!”

“I love you, I love you so much and you just don’t see it. What am I supposed to do?”

“I know you’re sad and upset. Let me be your distraction! I want to be your distraction!”

“I can’t find my apartment and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Let me in! I think I’m gonna throw up.”

QUOTES - NSFW EDITION

“What do you think about this outfit?”

“Bend over.”

“It’s not going to get up by itself, you know.”

“I thought you’d be bigger.”

“Where did we leave those damned handcuffs?”

“I can’t find my vibrator.”

“Just set your phone on vibrate!”

“I want to fuck you until you’re raw and shaking.”

“That’s it… do a little striptease for me.”

“You can watch… but you can’t touch.”

“Be quiet! They’re going to hear us.”

“And get this… the new toy? It glows in the dark.”

“I’ve got two flavours. Cherry or fruit punch?”

“I want to be on top.”

“That is one fine ass.”

“You look like a screamer.”

“Let me tie you up.”

“What’ll our safeword be?”

“I love making you squirm.”

“Not my neck! It’s summer, I can’t wear a turtleneck in the sun.”

TEXTS - DRUNK EDITION

[TEXT] You dumped me for HIM/HER?

[TEXT] I can’t stop listening to our song.

[TEXT] My pillow still smells like you.

[TEXT] You left your cologne when you moved out. I used it up.

[TEXT] Do you even love me?

[TEXT] What happened to us?

[TEXT] I just want to eat bacon and see you naked. And then eat bacon off of you naked.

[TEXT] IM26C4U.

[TEXT] You never gave a shit about me.

[TEXT] I couldn’t care less.

[TEXT] Now you know how it feels.

[TEXT] I still love you.

[TEXT] I can’t stop thinking about all the times you told me you loved me… and wondering if they were lies.

TEXTS - NSFW EDITION

[TEXT] You can’t have me if you can’t even get the three C’s. Chocolates, champagne, and candles.

[TEXT] I’m in the bath… come join me?

[TEXT] Don’t tease. You know I like it rough.

[TEXT] Bed, counter, or floor?

[TEXT] If you can get here in five minutes I’ll suck you off first.

[TEXT] What do you think about threesomes? And, what about foursomes?

[TEXT] You’ve been naughty, I’m going to punish you.

[TEXT] I can’t believe you just sent me that. I’m at work/school!

TEXTS - EMERGENCY EDITION

[TEXT] I fell down the stairs and… well, I’m in the ER.

[TEXT] ______ got injured during their game and I’m waiting with them at the hospital but I can’t do this alone.

[TEXT] Did you know your mother/father is at the hospital right now??

[TEXT] I was cleaning out the garage and I’m stuck under some boxes!! Please help before the spiders get me.

[TEXT] I don’t know what happened I was just cooking and then all of a sudden the pasta was on fire!

[daycarelancelot-blog]

put a 💋 in my ask if your muse wants to kiss mine

[daycarelancelot-blog]

IF ME CALLING YOU DUDE OR GURL CAUSES YOU TO HAVE DYSPHORIA YOU SHOULD tell me because you being comfortable is so much more important than some stupid slang 

[daycarelancelot-blog]

Sometimes writing is like having an enormous lake in your head, and you want to get it out of your head and into a proper place for a lake so other people can come and go swimming and ride jet skis and stuff, except all you have to move the lake is a teaspoon. So you’re just sitting there frantically flinging water out of the lake with your teaspoon and telling people, “Guys, this lake is going to be so cool when it’s done,” but it will never be done. There is so much lake.

[daycarelancelot-blog]

Affection meme

Send one for a gentle gesture. When possible, send “reverse” to invert the roles.

👫- To hold my muse’s hand

💕- To give them a kiss on the cheek

💋- To give them a kiss on the lips.

❦- To hug them.

🍓- To share a sweet together. 

🌙- To put a blanket on them as they sleep. 

✿- To give them a gift. ( Feel free to specify ) 

🍴- To invite them over for dinner.

☆- To give them a massage. 

⇨ - To see a movie together

[daycarelancelot-blog]

yandere sentence starters.

    inspired by / taken from ( x ) gore tw.

“I really love you! These are my confessions. My confessions of love!” “Don’t be scared, baby. I’ll make you love me, no matter what it takes…” “(He/she/they) unfortunately (don’t/doesn’t) love (c/n) in a ground-worshipping, “I’ll do anything” kind of way, but more in a “mine, mine, MINE!” kind of way.” “The whole system is about him getting matched up with the meanest, most efficient death machine in a forest full of bloodthirsty she-bitches. Yeah, settling down and raising a family is probably his only option here. Makes perfect sense, Nature.” “I love you, in my own crazy, crazy way…” “Say that you want me every day, that you want me every way, that you need me.” “If you don’t, I’ll slit your throat, so won’t you please be nice?” “(c/n) falls in love. (his/her/their) hate is safer.” “Nobody’s gonna take you away from me. Not even me, see? I’ll kill me before that happens.” “We were supposed to make (him/her/them) fall in love with you, not become psychologically obsessed with you!” “Well, what am I supposed to do? You won’t answer my calls, you change your number, I’m not going to be ignored, (c/n)!” “I’m half crazy all for the love of you.” “Now, baby, your love has sent me to jail, but I’d rather die than see you with another!” “Be mine or you will burn!” “I know so much about you! I love you, look at everything I’ve done for you! You’d be nothing without me! …Why won’t you answer me?!” “That’s just how I express my love!” “You will be mine. It’s not that I’m a jealous man! I JUST DON’T LIKE OTHER PEOPLE TOUCHING MY THINGS!!” “Say that you love me, and maybe I won’t have to kill you!” “You’re gonna love me!” “How the hell have you not learned yet that I am a jealous psychopath?” “How badly you want to leave my grasp?! … You can’t. You can’t!! I won’t have it!! I WON’T LET YOU!!” “There is nothing I won’t do for (you/him/her/them). I won’t let anyone come between us. I don’t care what I have to do. I don’t care who I have to hurt. I don’t care whose blood I have to spill. I won’t let anyone take (you/him/her/them) from me. Nothing else matters. No one else matters.” “Do you know why I’m doing this…? Why I keep fighting to keep you around? I’m doing this…because you’re special, (c/n). You’re the only one who understands me.” “I’m doing this because I care about you, (c/n)! I care about you more than anybody else! I’m not ready for this to end. I’m not ready for you to leave. I’m not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again… So, please…STOP doing this…AND JUST LET ME WIN!!!” “I can’t believe you really did it. I was just teasing. I loved you. …Of course, I was coming up here to kill ya. But first, I was going to try and win you back!” “I was meant to be yours, we were meant to be one. Don’t give up on me now! Finish what we’ve begun.” “You were meant to be mine. I am all that you need. You carved open my heart, can’t just leave me to bleed!” “I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love.” “By the way, I’ll ask you one more time…you love me, right? Just try to say you don’t love me. I’ll rip you and this house apart right here, right now. If you die, you’ll be mine forever, because you’ll live on in my heart as a memory forever.” “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I can’t bear the thought of seeing (him/her/you/them) with anyone else.”

[daycarelancelot-blog]

Yandere Starters

“If I can’t have you, then nobody can.” “The next time he/she touches you, I’ll cut his/her hands off.” “No one can take you from me if I keep you here.” “You’re mine and mine alone.” ��If you loved me instead of him then maybe he wouldn’t be dead!” “If you’re dead then no one can steal you from me!” “I don’t want to hurt you, but you broke my heart and need to be punished.” “He/She didn’t deserve you so I got rid of them for you.” “If you don’t love me then I’ll just have to make you love me!” “You’re mine and I said you aren’t going anywhere!”

[daycarelancelot-blog]

Running Away/Abandonment Starters!

“Wait! Don’t go!” 

“Please, don’t leave…” 

“You can’t go!” 

“Where are you going to go, huh? There’s no where left for you.”

“Running away, again?” 

“Why are you out here so late…? Where are you going?” 

“I’ll come with you!” 

“I won’t let you leave!” 

“Why can’t we talk this through?” 

“Stop trying to outrun your problems!”

“And you think abandoning everything will solve it all?” 

“Stop! I won’t let you get away!” 

“I can’t stay here anymore, I’m sorry…”

“This place isn’t home to me, now.” 

“I—I have to go!” 

“Stop chasing me. You’re only running in circles.” 

[daycarelancelot-blog]

I'm sick of not having a choice! When I was born an omega all my choices were already made for me. - askthepastelpinkdancer if you wanna? Sorry for all this

"I understand you, it feels like we have no choice." Lafayette sighed deeply, looking depressed. "But what can we do exactly?"

[daycarelancelot-blog]

Stalking: Sentence Starters!

“Come out, come out, where ever you are…”

“Do you think you can hide from me?”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

{Text}: You enjoy that shower? You should drop the towel.

{Text}: I know you’re home alone.

“Why don’t you let me inside? I just want to talk.”

“It’s too late for you to be out by yourself.”

{Text}: Good morning. I enjoyed last night, you’re really cute when you sleep.

“Why did you lock the door? Let me in!”

“Ssh, it’s okay! We’re all alone now, no one will bother us out here.”

“You can’t get away from me!”

“I love you…don’t you love me?”

“We were meant to be together, you can’t change that.”

“Please, leave me alone!”

“I don’t know who you are!”

“Wh—where have you brought me?”

“Get away! Don’t touch me!”

“I don’t belong to you!”

“Please…I want to go home!”

[daycarelancelot-blog]

Possessive Starters!

“You belong to me.” 

“You’re mine to own, understand?” 

“No, you’re not going out without me.” 

“Where do you think you’re going dressed like that? Your body is for my eyes only.” 

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice you sneaking out?”

“You’re not allowed to see them anymore.” 

“You’re being too friendly with them.” 

“I don’t like when they touch you.” 

“I can’t stand how they’re looking at you.” 

“You can’t leave me. You couldn’t live without me.” 

“I provide for you, you don’t have to work now.” 

“I’m locking you in your room until you learn!” 

“You’re mine, I watch everything you do.” 

“Give me your phone, I’m going to read your messages.” 

“Who were you talking to?” 

“You don’t need them! You have me!” 

“I don’t care if you don’t like it, you’re mine to do what I please to.” 

“Be quiet, now.” 

“Come here, I’m marking you so that everyone will know who you belong to.”