daysgoby143

[daysgoby143]

« ESSA community, does it count if your plushie isn't an animal but still takes the role of an ESSA? Sorry if that's a dumb question. »

[daysgoby143]

I don't know, hard to talk about, need to get it out.

Exposing my groomer.

This is a callout post.

Warning, the content under the cut includes triggering topics such as grooming, incestuous themes (I don't know the term for the specific kind of incest, sorry), pet-play, forced relationship, NSFW, non-consensual, guilt-tripping, sui mentions

Hello, this post is made by Sunny, not Omori. I am @jelly-in-humphreys-belly and have the side blogs @daysgoby143 and @sunfish143. I have DID (dissociative identity disorder) and Omori is an alter in our system and has been kind enough to let me use his account to make this post since the person I am calling out has blocked me.

A little less than two years ago, I met @betesblanches, an artist here on Tumblr and Tiktok. They were 15 when we met, I was 14. I am 15 now and they are 16 turning 17 soon. They are about two years older than me and turned 16 shortly after I met them.

I met them at a point in my life when I was getting out of a toxic relationship with my at-the-time boyfriend (who I am now away from). They had supported me completely and over time we became closer as friends.

For a little less than two years, they were my best friend and number one support system, but they did something very horrible to me without me noticing until more recently.

TW: grooming

My boyfriend @plantingbasil was talking to me late one night and I mentioned something that Bêtes and I had done at sleepovers. He had heard me talking about weird interactions between them and I before and even seen some when Basil and I had first become friends and started dating, but what I said made him crack. He needed to tell me that what was going on wasn't normal. So he did. He told me that they had been grooming me. At first, I didn't believe him. I love Basil very much, but this information made no sense to me. Basil went through everything he knew happened with me and Bêtes to help me realise.

Bêtes did a lot of things. I'm going to go through some of them. I won't disclose everything or even give all of the details about what happened. It's hard to talk about. Speaking up alone is already very hard. I have screenshots for some things. I don't need to talk about this, them and I talked it out. I need closure though. I need people to know what they did. I need to speak up about it.

Bêtes is fictionkin of Kel from Omori. This is an important detail because I am fictionkin of Sunny from Omori. They did a lot of not okay stuff with these factors considered.

A lot of the time they would send me suntan art and say they meant it platonically, but admittedly shipped suntan and was very in my face about it.

This was something they sent to me after Basil told me how they act isn't normal, but before I spoke to them. They also knew I was dating Basil at this time as well.

In a group chat on Discord with Basil and me they started an entire thing about how I supposedly had a child with them (as a joke). This was four days before the previous screenshot, two days after I started dating Basil.

The censored profile is Basil. He was on call with me when this happened and was trying to help me politely get them to stop. I had stated feeling weird about it despite not knowing that they had been grooming me yet. In DMs they sent me something even weirder that I immediately told Basil about because it made me uncomfortable.

These were the most recent examples of them acting like this, but they have a long history of sending me suntan art, referring to me in romantic and sexual ways, etc. I did used to reciprocate what they did, but that was only because they told me it was normal for friends to do that. I was uncomfortable, but I trusted them, so I did what I thought I was supposed to.

TW: Incestuous themes

There was a time before I met Basil that Bêtes had been talking with me and I asked them "Isn't suntan weird since we were almost brothers...? I mean if Mari hadn't died-" and they responded "Yeahhh" and I proceeded to make an awkward remark something like "It's a good thing I pushed her then... haha... ha..." (Disclaimer, I don't remember word for word how our conversation went, this is just what was said, even if it isn't exact). This continued later when they convinced me to roleplay suntan as if we were brothers (nsfw). I was uncomfortable, but the entire time this was going on I was convinced this was normal for friends and wanted to make them happy, so I agreed.

TW: Forced relationship, pet-play

At multiple times in my friendship with them, Bêtes talked about how they view romance differently than most people. Instead of following traditional views, they followed the Homestuck quadrants. I know nothing about Homestuck, only what they've explained to me, so keep that in mind as I write the next part. They explained to me each quadrant, but the important one that they explained was Kismesis. They explained this as enemies to lovers and told me examples of how this relationship would work would be both partners hating each other for their bad qualities so that they can both learn to be better for each other. They also said that people in these relationships would do things like consensually kidnap each other. I don't know how accurate or inaccurate of a description this is. On multiple occasions they admitted to wanting a relationship like this, even telling me that their breaking point of realisation was when they started having pet-play fantasies about me where I was in a Kismesis with them. They tried to pressure me into dating them over this, at one point I even agreed to be their "platonic partner" despite only seeing them as a friend. They seemed satisfied for a while until later getting upset that I didn't hate anything about them until I found a mannerism of theirs that slightly annoyed me and I told them and it hurt their feelings.

TW: NSFW, non-consensual

Eventually, after a lot of things like this happening, they came over for a sleepover. This is where things get very very disgusting. Without going into much detail, they wanted relief and asked me to help. I told them I was uncomfortable, but in the end said yes, because I wanted to make them happy. I stated that this was my reason and they had to comfort me into doing things and also had to do/say things that they knew kept me calm to keep me doing things as long as I did. At our next sleepover, I suggested we do things because I had been convinced that this was normal behaviour for friends and had also noticed that I got attention and made Bêtes happy. I wanted more attention. I wanted them to be happy again. After both times, they held me against them and told me to stop moving and to go to sleep. This made sure that I didn't get a chance to think about how messed up the situation was since I couldn't separate myself from it. On top of that, my brain had also had me pretend it was consensual things with the character Basil (I had not met my boyfriend Basil at the time).

Now that we've gotten the most difficult to talk about things out of the way, I'd like to get to the conversation I had with them. After Basil told me what Bêtes did with me wasn't normal, I said I could never talk to them about it. A few days after I was told, Basil convinced me to let him talk to them about it.

They messaged me after Basil messaged them then I, at first, pretended like I didn't know what was going on because I felt too anxious and nauseous to talk about it. Everything that is censored is sensitive content.

What Basil said wasn't completely true, because he misunderstood some things I said, I only cried a time I didn't do things with them. I stopped replying after the message I sent at nine because I was having a really bad panic attack and Basil told me it was better that I went offline for my own mental wellbeing.

In the morning, I managed to have written up a long message going over the main things they did (sleepovers). I am not posting that here because it has too many details and is too long. They didn't take it well.

TW: Guilt-tripping, sui mentions

The part I high-lighted is to show that they did admit things happened to anyone who doesn't believe me.

The next screenshot is something they said after Basil told them that bringing up sui and saying they almost went through with it because of me was guilt-tripping. They had been talking in DMs the entire time.

They admitted I was uncomfortable, and they noticed it in the moment. I also had told them outright that I was, but they didn't care at the time.

Once again, they admitted that they did things with me. I am pointing this out because I'm really scared people won't believe me or will tell me what happened is my fault. I just need to be able to face this and move on from it.

I do admit, I was very afraid of losing them. I still feel sick about the fact that they aren't in my life, but I need to make an important point that just because I care about them doesn't mean they didn't hurt me or that they should be in my life. I just don't have the guts to hate them.

The more and more I spoke with them, it felt like talking to a brick wall. It hurt.

I was being kind of rude at this point, but I was doing my best to contain myself. They hurt me so bad. I didn't know what to do anymore. I still don't.

Two mornings later, they sent me a long apology. They had been talking with Basil about how they should go about apologising to me because they couldn't figure it out on their own. They gave me a more well-written apology. It went over how they felt bad for me and how they're a terrible person and how they're trying to change. It was still poorly written, but was better than the previous. I replied sending a long message back insulting them. It was the meanest I've ever been to them or anyone really. I think I had the right to be mean at that point, they still didn't seem to understand the weight of it at all.

I'm posting this because I need this out there. I need closure. I need people to know what they did. I need to get better. I need to face it. This is difficult, but thankfully I have nice friends and an amazing boyfriend to help me. I don't know what I'd do without them.

[daysgoby143]

« I worry sometimes that if I speak up no one will believe me. I need to get it off of my chest though. I'm still waiting for BASIL's opinion on it. It's hard talking about these things. »

[daysgoby143]

« Today is my two month anniversary with BASIL (@plantingbasil). I love him so much, he's such a sweet boyfriend. I can't believe it's been two months already. Keeping track of the time is so nice too, every time we meet our next anniversary I get this euphoric feeling telling me that I'm going to be with him forever, counting these anniversaries for the rest of our lives and going into the next. Spending every life with BASIL, always coming back to him, always staying with him, always loving him. My pretty boy, my flower, I love BASIL. »

[daysgoby143]

« The cleaner my room is, the more I wanna isolate. SUNNY things I've suppressed due to my messy environment I suppose. »

[daysgoby143]

Hey Sunny! It’s Hero.

Kinda always wondered, do you have any memories of me / with me in them? I know we didn’t hang out all that much but always kinda wondered. 😃

Thanks!

« Hello HERO. »

« I remember MARI would take me over to your and KEL's house sometimes. Usually I would hangout with KEL while you and MARI did whatever. At times, KEL wasn't home so I'd go upstairs with you and MARI. I would sit behind you or next to you and lean on you a lot. I would just sit there and listen in. You often had to tell MARI to behave herself since I was there. »

« I don't remember a lot. I do know I was always really clingy with you. I would lean on you or hold onto the back of your shirt, etc. You felt safe to me. I'm sorry that I don't remember more. »

« Have a nice day, HERO, I hope you're doing well. »

[daysgoby143]

happy birthday! ☀️

[daysgoby143]

« It's my birthday today! »

[daysgoby143]

« I hate stairs. I hate trees. I hate jump ropes. I hate them. »

[daysgoby143]

« BASIL is going back in my trunk. »

[daysgoby143]

hii! you probably don’t know me.. >.<

what’s your opinion on some herb you hang out with often?

« Hello random stranger that definitely isn't my boyfriend named BASIL or anything. »

« By random herb, you must mean BASIL, hm? BASIL is wonderful. He's stayed by my side through everything and I try to stay by his. I want him to feel adored, like how he makes me feel. He makes me feel safe, loved, appreciated. More than anyone or anything else. I don't mind helping him when he struggles, he always helps me. BASIL is really great. He's perfect in every way to me, in an imperfect sense. I like the way his hair is always messy, but still looks nice. I like the way his eyes emit a soft glow in low lighting. I like his voice a lot, it's calming. I like how he cares so much for animals and plants. I love how he cares so much for me. I don't think I really deserve it, but when I'm with him it kinda feels like I do, even just a bit. I love how he does his best for me. I love every part of him. I love his personality, his looks, his mind, his soul, everything. BASIL is my everything. »

[daysgoby143]

no more truth. i eated it sorry

« No more truth...? » *pulls a suspiciously BASIL shaped bag out of my car trunk.*

« Glad that's over with. Now the gay boy can be freed again. »

[daysgoby143]

« I love BASIL a lot. He makes me feel safe. When I'm really stressed, if I just focus on him and only him, the whole world calms down. »

[daysgoby143]

« BASIL is sick in HEADSPACE. His tulips are dead. His sunflowers are dying. HERO is driving all of us someplace fun though. I wonder where we're going. »

[daysgoby143]

« BASIL, I will escape the truth. »

[daysgoby143]

« Boyfriend wants me to face the truth, but I'm just a boy 🎀 »

[daysgoby143]

Hi hi! This is my first time doing an ask so yay! I wanted to ask during your life as sunny, do you happen to have any memories that really stick out to you or are really important to you?

« Hello... » ,, « I have a memory of MARI that I think back to a lot. »

« There was one time when I was sitting by MARI while she brushed her hair at her vanity. She had cookies in the oven downstairs. She always made sure to brush her hair one hundred times, as basic as that seems she was really particular about things like that. MARI always strived for perfectionism. Her hair looked really pretty and I reached out to touch it. She got mad and yelled my name, she didn't yell much but was also very easily set off by small things going wrong, and brushed her hair again. The was stressed because the timer for the cookies went off before she finished brushing as well. I replay this moment in my head a lot. I miss her. »